haychyna

I am 15 years old and getting the lap band in about 2 weeks. I just want some people to help me get through the tough times. People who actually understand what I'm going through. I'm in the research program at Columbia Presbyterian and I'm so close to surgery date now. I'm sooo excited but at the same time nervous. But I'm not nervous about what you'd think I'd be nervous about. I'm fine with the surgery itself, and changing my lifestyle doesn't even freak me out that much. What's actually scaring me is the fact that I'm so used to myself, I don't know how I'll feel about changing. I don't want to lose myself, or not be able to recognize myself. I think I'm beautiful and gorgeous now. I have very high self esteem, and tons of friends. I'm not one of the typical fat teenagers who's a loner and sits and mopes about being fat. I'm kind of like a thin person trapped in a fat person's body. I don't even think of myself as fat, and I'm pretty sure even my friends don't think of me that way. I'm really only doing this for health reaons. But of course I'm not always so confident. I've cried about it before, and felt sorry for myself. But I'm so done with that. I'm changing who I am for the better, and I'm damn proud of myself for doing that!