morethanthis

Hi all, I am new here and almost finished with my 6 months of evaluations and classes. I'm hoping for a Jan or Feb surgery date. I decided not to tell anyone that I was going through the process except my husband, at least until it got closer to the time. A few weeks ago I decided to tell my mother inlaw and sister inlaw, who have been very supportive, as has been my husband every step of the way. I do not have a very good relationship with my mother, it has gone downhill in the past few years and in the past year I have only seen her on holidays. I am an only child and she has always been a single parent (my Dad was never in the picture). I decided to tell her I was going to do this, rather than keep it a secret. I had no idea her reaction was going to be so horrible, or I may have just decided to keep it to myself We went out to lunch and I told her and she immediately was very shocked and upset. She spent the rest of the car ride home telling how opposed she is to 'these types of procedures' and how she knows countless people who have had WLS and how horribly it has gone wrong and they ALWAYS gain the weight back. I let it go and just didn't say anything. Since then (several weeks ago) she has been sending me emails listing all the reasons why she thinks I shouldn't do this and how I have no idea what I'm in for and how terrible the repercussions will most likely be for me and I'm 'headed down the wrong path' and I must be 'out of my mind' and that she is so strongly opposed to this that it 'sickens' her, etc, etc, etc :smile2: I have calmly tried to explain to her the points where she is wrong ....I think she actually has very little knowledge about the lapband itself, but lumps all WLS together. She has a medical degree (not human medicine) and tends to be a bit of a 'know it all' :thumbup: She keeps saying she just wants what's best for me, and if I just put a little effort into it, I could do this on my own. The last email I responded to her I gave her all the facts about the surgery and said that I needed to make the best decision for myself and my family (I have 3 kids under 6 years old) and very loving supportive husband and inlaws. After being overweight my whole life and emotionally tormented much of my childhood by her trying to get me to lose weight, pointing out my appearance, etc. I know this is the right decision for me. I can already see my 6 year old daughter starting to be overweight and I do NOT want her to have the same problems that I struggled with I want to be a healthy mom making good decisions and setting a good example. My mom is hardly even a part of my life anymore because she is such a negative person in general I have deliberately shut her out and she really has made almost zero attempt to be a part of mine or my kids lives. I suppose I am letting her opinion bother me much more than I should. Even though she is barely a part of my life anymore, somehow I still wanted her to be encouraging and supportive and she wasn't. Not only wasn't she encouraging, she has been downright insulting towards me about this and it still stings. I guess I am still learning how to live my life without her 'approval' for things....isn't funny how even when we are adults and our parents may have not done such a hot job sometimes we still seek their approval for things? If you have made it this far bless your heart I guess I'm just looking for a little emotional encouragement. Thanks for listening

Thank you for the encouragement from you both I wish things were different between my mother and I. She is just such a difficult person to get along with. I'm so jealous when I see women my age who have good relationships with their mothers Alienbandit- Good luck telling your family. I hope they are loving and supportive. Maybe if they haven't seen you in awhile they will just be happy to see you're doing well.

I asked his very same question at my first meeting. Our meetings (spread out over 6 months) are run by bariatric nurses and nutritionists. I was concerned because right at my starting weight I am just at the cut off point for acceptance for surgery with a bmi of 40. I was worried that if I dropped below that I would get denied. I was told YES, that has happened before and that the nurses have 'looked the other way' when people come in for their last meetings and get weighed with big pockets full of coins and weights hanging from the back of their pants. :biggrin: Anyway, scared me enough not to drop a pound as of yet and I am almost done with my 6 months...yikes!