Juliat

I've been battling my weight since I was a kid. The only time I weighed within a 'respectful' amount was when I was in the Air Force where I had to run and exercise or be disciplined. Of course, I would have never done it myself. I really found myself addicted to food after my divorce. I married young at 18 and really didn't get to spend time with my husband. On our wedding day, he told me he joined the Navy and there I was in the Air Force. For those who don't know, the two branches do not work together to put married people in the same area.
I finally got out after being separated for 15 months (not a good start to a marriage). He turned out to be a completely different person. He ended up leaving me for my best friend; a double whammy. There I was stuck in a place with no family, no friends and no husband. I got my big butt together and trekked across the country home to my family to start my new life. I looked like a strong woman but really just a scared girl who found solace in Ding Dongs.
The first thing my father said when he saw me for the first time in a year was 'Damn you got fat'. I used the excuse of the divorce and how hard it was and so on and so on. I was making excuses and blowing up like crazy.
But on the professional side, I took control of my life. Never again was I going to rely on someone else to take care of me. I went to college and got my degree in Electronic Engineering. I took the computer path and started working desktop and eventually became an Email Engineer.
But my personal life didn't follow the same path as my professional. I started doing risky dieting, risky sexual behavior and other self destructive acts. I was self medicating with food and not looking out for myself emotionally at all. I started doing the atkins diet in 2005 and that was the most successful of diets.
Of course, until I lost my gallbladder because of it. I didn't follow the rules and stayed on induction for 3 years. Well it worked, why not? After that, my weight spiraled out of control again and I thought that I was just going to be a fat person for the rest of my life.
A friend of mine told me that his wife got the lapband procedure done and was losing weight like crazy. I knew that I had to do something because at 5'2, I was killing myself at 225. And with a history of heart disease, diabetes, and cancer in my family, it was only a matter of time. It didn't become about me being good looking anymore, it became about me having a happy life.
The insurance for the company I was working for wouldn't pay for the operation. Cheap bastards :( I had to make the decision to use my retirement 401k to get the operation. It wasn't a hard decision at all. I figured if I'm obese when I'm 60 and have medical problems, the money is going to the medical industry anyway. Why suffer when I can take care of it now and enjoy my retirement.
So, I had the consult in August of 2010. I would have to say, bless Dr Kim's heart. He walked into the exam room, took one glance at me and said 'When will you be ready to operate'. Oh geez.
I told him as soon as I could. We scheduled for the 28th of September because I had to do my liquid diet for 2 weeks prior. I knew I couldn't do it. A liquid diet for 2 weeks and then 2 weeks after. No way that was going to happen. But, it did. And, I didn't suffer for it. It was like any other diet; you do it because you're so excited and you succeed but you can't do it forever. Luckily, I had the band afterward to help me not go back on my destructive food course.
The last nine - ten months have been a wild ride. I'm not losing as fast as others in my support group and I'm not out of the woods yet as far as my health, but my quality of life has grown to the extreme. I'm doing things now that I didn't think I ever could and making new friends because I have the confidence to do it. It's been the best decision I ever made.