ser123

Yes it is amazing how those we surround ourselves with can really impede progress. I am just glad I am not going to be banded until after Christmas. This gives everyone pleeennnty of time to adjust to the way I eat...

I really want to use the band to be able to stay on a diet like Weight Watchers. It is a healthy way to eat. I have done well with it before, and even lost 50lbs in 2004... but reached a point where I was starving. Now I have gained 40 lbs of it back. So my goal is to go on a diet like WW that is healthy and works and is a good way to eat and not a crash diet.

I am like Audree... I can do crash diets until I crash. I can eat healthy until I starve myself into a pig out....

As far as the liquid diet... my .02 is that it is basically a crash diet or a diet that is intended for medical purposes. I want to do the surgery so that I can have a healthy relationship with food without being overpoweringly hungry. Staying on a crash diet for as long as possible sounds to me like "fat think" or an extreme relationship with food. All or nothing. On an abnormal and unbalanced diet, the metabolism will react by slowing down and will burn equal amounts of lean body mass and fat to sustain function. For me the end does not justify the means. When I get skinny I want to have a toned and healthy body... not a starved and weak body.

Audrey, I am going to Mexico to be banded by Dr. Joya. I am pretty excited about it. My pre-op diet is the same as yours, Dec. 29th but as much of a liquid diet as possible. My surgeon was adamant about the liquid part, because I was thinking of modifying it to be just lower calorie. So this week I am trying to be better since the holidays are over, and that way the pre-op diet won't kill me. It will be really interesting to see how we do. You have asked and posted some really good questions.

Audree this is a good thread.... I don't know where I have been because I have been addicted to LBT since I found it. You and I have the same surgery date, woohoo! My BMI is 33, although it is probably 34 now with the holidays and "Last Supper Syndrome" I have learned so much on this forum and everyone is very helpful. Happy holidays all!

I hope that next year I am saying the same thing... less than 2 weeks before I am banded.

First, CONGRATS... I bet you haven't walked on the ground since you found out! I am so excited for you. Second, I think this has been a really good thread. Just hearing what people's responses are and how they are "over" their thing with food. Thanks for all the posts. I am being banded on Jan. 5th and so this was really interesting to me.

I had gallbladder surgery in 2005 and when I woke up, my neck was FUBAR. I think maybe my neck was at a weird angle. I went to a chiropractor for a few weeks and it went away. If it isn't related to eating it could be a neck thing from your surgical position. Sounds like it to me, based on the fact that it is severe enough to cause you to be unable to stand. That also sounds more positional than digestive related. I would say maybe pursue whether you have a neck problem and see a chiropractor if it isn't digestive.

HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! OMG I laughed out loud on that one. ME TOO!

My sister thinks that a woman will never win the Biggest Loser. On the show men generally start off with a lot more weight to lose but they have more muscle mass and lose weight faster. My sister thinks that because of the way they determine the winner that a woman will never win. She doesn't really have an answer on how she would do it to eliminate the bias that she thinks is there. I am not sure what I think. In some ways it does seem like the men have a better chance. But on the other hand, it was down to 2 women and 2 men in the final four. What do you all think? Is it biased? If you think it is biased, how would you fix it? Should the men and women compete together or separately? I would like to see the man and woman biggest loser both get a prize. I would also like to see one season where they take a group that is not quite as heavy as the people they normally pick... and see how they do. Maybe that wouldn't be as dramatic. I liked the at home challenge this time.

I think everyone, everyone wants to be loved. And I think we all deserve to be loved, regardless of what we weigh. Being fat is not a crime. Being fat is not a reason for us not to be dateable. But how many of us on this thread have said we don't want to date a fat person like ourselves? We want to date the thin people too. I think that anyone can find a date if they are willing to make exceptions to what society finds attractive. But what I notice about fat people is that they want what everyone else wants in a date. They don't want anything less than the best. What I notice about fat people's psychology is perfectionism which leads to crushing feelings of failure. I see fat people become extremely successful in other areas yet consider themselves complete losers because of their weight. I see fat people face the public with incredible courage despite the ridicule, rudeness, blatant staring and intense negative scrutiny. I see fat people who have a million people surrounding them who absolutely LOVE them and feel unlovable because their Match.com mailbox is empty. Maybe we are saying the same thing Green...

I agree with Wheetsin and marjon9, which is why I started this thread. I mean we are all on this website because we aren't happy with being overweight. If we aren't happy about it then why should we expect someone else to be happy about it? Especially dating. I think marriage implies commitment for better or for worse. We owe it to ourselves and our families to become the best that we can be. And they owe it to us to support us as we try, and fail, and try again... until we finally get it right. When you are dating someone I don't think you have any obligation to stand by someone if the going gets tough for them. I have been on a million first dates/first meetings with people. After a while, you realize that if someone isn't attracted to you it doesn't really matter. Someone else will be and then you won't like them. Dating is to try someone out, not drag some dramatic relationship out when you know within a month or two you can't tolerate something about them. Why try to change a grown adult when you can just move on to someone who is more suited to you? To me, people who get mad at other people for not being physically attracted to them while they are morbidly obese is a little strange. We are talking 70-100 lbs overweight minimum. We aren't talking pudgy or even heavy. We are talking morbidly obese, overtly and obviously ill. Disabled. And if you don't think you are sick or disabled then you shouldn't expect your insurance to pay for it.

It takes a lot of work and effort for me to be thin. I have to constantly count calories, write down what I eat and in general be very diligent. I have found that there are a lot of people who will say, OH come on and have dessert! or Why do you be so picky? It happens a LOT with people who I don't know very well (my friends have seen me fat and thin and are very helpful and supportive)... like at a business lunch. There seem to be a lot of people who really don't want you to be good if they are being bad. I don't know what I would do in your situation. I would try to somehow have a negative consequence for your mom that you can really stand behind. That way her sabotage affects her. I would say something like, "if you keep bringing me sweets after this then I am going to X. If you feel that you are going to keep bringing me sweets, then that is fine. Please let me know now and I will just go ahead and do X now... what are you going to do?" and then don't say one word until she tells you what she has decided. That is the only thing I can think of. I think she thinks she has you under her power because she is helping you right now and you are sort of trapped. Don't let her hold that over your head! Good luck

My dad is the opposite kind of saboteur. He constantly comments about my weight and what I eat. He says crappy things about fat people. He makes fun of fat people. He used to make fun of my mom for being fat, even after she divorced his ass. He used to make fun of me about being fat, even after repeated requests not to. I have sat down with him and talked to him like a rational person. I have made it about me and not about him. It doesn't matter. Finally, one time me and my dad and my sister were driving in the car and he made a joke about me being fat... about 3 hours after I had had one of our rational conversations about how I find his jokes hurtful. I stopped the car in the middle of heavy traffic and put the hazards on. I told him if he wouldn't stop making fat jokes, that was fine, let me know. I would turn the car around and stay home and he and my sister could go somewhere without me. We sat there for 5 minutes in the middle of a lane of traffice. I didn't say anything and neither did he. It was one of those situations where the first person who talked was going to lose. He finally said, "Fine, I won't make any more jokes" and he hasn't and that was 3 years ago. He is still indirectly very passive aggressive about it. But I do not take direct abuse anymore. Sometimes you have to be a real hard ass and sometimes being rational and nice and calm doesn't work. Good luck, and keep us updated on how you handle your mom...

These are really great answers... I have to agree with Flabulous and Marjon9... losing weight is an inner journey as well as an outer journey. I have to amend my answer to #3 to agree with Altaloma Guy. If you are dating someone, you aren't that committed to him to be required to stand by them if he gained a bunch of weight... and I am not talking about 20 - 30 lbs either. I think the more serious I am with someone, the longer I would stick around. A nd being fat isn't a reason for divorce in my book... although I dated a guy who told me one of the major reasons he divorced his wife is because she got too fat. I saw a picture of her and she was maybe a size 16 and I thought to myself, why the heck is he dating me???? I broke up with him pretty quick after that. My opinion of him changed after I found that out and I really couldn't get over it.

The best advice someone gave on another thread was.... try one before you buy a case! Every few months I have to learn this the hard way.

I can't think of a single reason why not to do the commercial! Bask in the glory. Do you get free fills or anything?

I don't want to hijack this thread so I am starting another thread about this in the Lap Band Forum. I am really interested in everyone's responses about this: Is someone of poor character if they didn't ask you out when you were heavy but they do when you are thin? If so, why? Is it insulting? If so, why? I don't expect a man to ask me out if he isn't attracted to me physically. I don't think that a man who is not attracted to heavy people is a bad person.... To me that is totally different than if I gained weight while dating someone seriously. If I was in a serious relationship and I gained weight I would expect that person not to dump me. If they did dump me then I would think they had poor character and I would be insulted. Anyway, back to being a single bandster... or in my case a single bandster to be!

I have noticed that too but at the same time, I think if I was just starting the show she would be reassuring, especially with the uberfit trainers. Also, she isn't that fat to me, more like pudgy. It is kind of weird but in a way I feel like it is a good thing, like not every single person on the show is crazy fit.

Actually, all of those are good points. I didn't think about women and our periods.... or the men gaining more muscle mass. I love the idea of going on body fat vs. actual weight.

Well I agree with that... the ones obsessed with if and when instead of the here and now are good for the curb!

It would be okay with me if I date someone who wouldn't have been attracted to me heavy. After all, I myself wanted to be thinner. And hopefully my weight loss will be permanent. BUT I would expect to still be loved if I got heavier later on... after we fell in love. I have dated people who gained weight while we were dating. I can honestly say I was still attracted to him and I still loved him even after he was heavy. But I if I had met him heavy, I probably wouldn't have dated him. I do plan to discuss this with a serious boyfriend though -- and show him pictures so can clearly understand how heavy I was. I want to marry someone who would love me if I got fat, lost an arm, became paralyzed, was burned in a fire. And vice-versa. Victoria21, I am lying in bed under my pile of dogs laughing at your post. I love sleeping with my dogs! I have had such a long dry spell that I now probably won't be able to sleep with a guy unless he is an overweight, hairy, snoring bed hog! (He should also have restless leg syndrome and kick me repeatedly while he is sleeping)

Everyone on that show was incredibly inspiring. So many women lost more than 100 lbs, so many men lost more than 150 lbs. The women's faces were absolutely beautiful. What an inspiration. Kai looked great, so did Erik.

I am watching the Finale right now... I CANNOT believe how great these guys look. I am SO inspired by this show. The at home people KICKED butt. That Poppy girl losing 50% of her body weight and that other guy losing 176 pounds. WOWIE! I am getting to the point with the voted-off contestants. Can't wait to see everyone's comments from the finale.