drivera

I want to be thin and healthy!  My highest weight was 322!  The scale I had only went to 330 lbs.  I almost had to buy a new scale!  That was in April 2010.  I decided to do something about my health.  I was diagnosed with hypertension, diabetes, etc. in 2009.  I felt physically and emotionally terrible.  I could not breathe well just walking around the house.  Well, I finally took charge!  I stopped smoking!  I stopped McDonald's and soda.  I stopped eating out so much.  I ate healthier but delicious foods.  Most important, I stopped speed eating!  I ate a normal portion of food and then I would wait 20 minutes after I finished eating; and if I was still really hungry, I would eat just a little more.  However, I found that I was not too hungry most of the time after I waited the 20 minutes.  Also, I started drinking lots of water!!!  Probably drank about 60 ounces a day.  I found that putting the water bottle in the freezer until it just freezes and then hitting in on the edge of the counter to break up the ice in it to chips and water made me really enjoy it!  In April 2010, I went to an short seminar held at my hospital about weight loss surgery.  I made an appt. with the doctor's office.  The process went easy and quickly.  There are a number of things required for you to do to get the surgery, but none are hard at all.  One, I had to lose 5% of my body weight which by the doctor's scale was 16 pounds.  I did that in no time!  Today is August 28, 2010 and my surgery is August 31, 2010.  So far I have lost 40 pounds!  I am optimistic and very excited about this new life-changing thing I am about to have happen to me.  Food will no longer destroy me!  Just got home today (9/1/10 at 4 p.m.) from my Tuesday 8/31/10 surgery at 10 a.m.  I had a really, really terrible day yesterday.  The pain and the nausea were more than I could have ever in my wildest dreams imagined.  The slightest movement caused severe nausea like you could never imagine!  The pain was terrible!  I feel better today and can tolerate the pain and finally the nausea is gone....thank God!  Now I am on clear liquids until September 4, 2010, then I add the Carnation Instant Breakfast no sugar added drinks until I see the doctor on 9/16 and then I will probably start pureed foods.  I am having TERRIBLE anxiety and am truly wondering for why I did this.  I thought I was prepared and truly emotionally ready.  I hope these are normal post-op feelings.  I am taking Valium right now to help me through this anxiety.  I can't seem to pull it together right now.  Mom is here with me and trying to assure me I will feel better in a couple weeks once I start eating food again.  I am trying to remind myself why I chose this option in the first place.  I knew it was going to be a radical change, but I never realized it would feel so devastating mentally!  Please keep me in your prayers!  Thank you!  9/4/10 Feeling so much better emotionally and physically.  Really hungry now!  Only on Carnation Instant Breakfast 3 oz. 3x/day until cleared by doc on 9/16/10 for pureed foods hopefully.  I am down 47 pounds so far.  322 - 47 = 275!  9/12/10 Down to 265 lbs. Starving on this f'n liquid diet.  Can't wait to see the doctor this coming Thursday and hopefully be cleared to start on pureed diet.  Hope it fills me up!!!  9/18/10 Started pureed/mushies diet on 9/16.  Hungry as hell!  I feel as though I could eat a horse.  I am suffering though sticking to the 3 oz./3x a day!  Don't get my first fill until 10/15.  OMG, I hope the fill will help!  This is so hard!  I don't want to blow it and starting pigging out again!  I am using all the willpower I have left.  7/4/10 I lost a total of 100.4 pounds.  I am now 221.6!