RnRmama

Well, I'm not that much different from most of the people on this site. I'm a 24 year old mother of a little girl and a wife to an awsome husband. I've struggled with weight most of my life, I was around 8 when I ballooned up, it was after my parents divorce and it wasen't a pretty one either. I looked for food to comfort me (sounds lame I know). My parents didn't really notice the weight gain until about a couple years later. I was teased all through my school years. All through my life I have struggled with my image and people tearing me down as a child and as well as my adult years. I struggled with depression/bi-polar when I turned 11, actually probably well before that but it was actually determined when I was 11. After years of hell I told my mom I want the lap band but she decided to send me to a fittness camp and I was excited as a 17 year old could be. I went from 210lbs to 160lbs, and life was good. Then I noticed I started to slowly gain the weight back. By the time I turned 20 I weighed at 185lbs. Then I got pregnant and got to 200lbs and for some reason after I had my daughter I was constantly hungry. Before I knew it I now weigh my current weight 265lbs. How time flys when you're getting fat. I can't run arund with my daughter for long periods of time because my ankles, legs, knees, and back start to hurt extremely bad. It breaks my heart when she wants to go out for a walk or to the park cause she sees that as a place to be free and I see it as torture. My husband and father dont seem to really understand that it literally hurts to walk, so they tell me "just go for a walk, use the apartments gym" and it kinda hurts me...alot. I've tried explaining it to them when I originally told them I want the lap band but it was to hard cause I got laughed at, which killed me and made me throw the idea out. Whats the use of going through something if you dont have the initial support team to back you up and say "Let's do it". I'm embarrased to go out with my husband because he's easy on the eyes and I'm this big grotesque beast, He says he dosen't care and he'll always love me and that brings a smile to my face but I would love to be able to throw on a pair of jeans and a shirt and look good. Not to mention I found out I have dysplasia and endometriosis, my fathers side has highblood pressure, diabetes, and strokes so I definately have to lose this weight to be around long enough to see my daughter grow and become a woman. I just really need to lose this weight.