fusionbell

I have not always been heavy, prior to getting married at the age of 22 i was a size 3.  I had a baby 6 yrs later and gained 70 pounds.  I have tried everything to lose weight from LA weight loss, atkins, weight watchers, medifast, starving, ALLI, protein diets, etc.   I then lost 70 lbs from stress, i loved my body but was so stressed out i never really enjoyed the weight loss.  I slowly started to gain it back, and now have A-FIB, fatty liver, high cholesterol and  pre-diabetic.  I just feel disgusted with myself that i let myself get to this point.  I hate going out with friends because i have nothing to wear that fits me right especially jeans.  I have a nice bust size, small waist and then hips and butt bulge, LOL.  not really funny but i have to find the humor somewhere.  I can't even go up a flight of stairs without being so out of breath and waiting to get to the top just so i dont have to hear myself panting for air.  I have a gorgeous healthy 8 yr old boy whom is involved with sports and i honestly dont have the energy to keep up with him.  Its very sad, when he asks can we go to the park and play and all i want to do is sit on the bench and not bother cathcing baseballs or running bases, or playing basketball.  Its not that I don't want to, but i jsut don't have the energy for it.  I need to be healthy for me and for him so that i can keep up with him.