AsGoodAsSkinnyFeels

I'm Stephanie, 23 years old, and have been overweight almost all of my life. I joined this forum about a year ago wanting to get banded then chickened out, so i'm back. I'm more determined than ever but i'm terribly scared. One being that I'll have to go to Mexico to be banded, and while i've read incredible things about Dr. Ariel Ortiz and his staff that doesn't lift my spirits any mainly because I'LL BE IN Mexico. If there is anybody here that has been to this doctor could you please help me? I don't know what to do, what to expect, I just want to make it out alive and healthy, and hopefully eventually lighter. I'm so young to be chained down by my weight. I'm incredibly self-conscious and won't even wear shorts or tank tops out in public. It's caused alot of stress in my relationship because I just can't open up and ''love myself'' no matter what size I am. I always try to tell my self that nothing tastes as good as skinny will ever feel, but I can't make myself commit to that saying because i've never been skinny to know how it feels. I hope somebody can help me find inspiration and reassure me that i'll make it out alive and healthy, i'm too afraid to die and I just want to be happy, and healthy. I want to wear cute clothes that my friends wear and go horse back riding, and wear cute swimsuits and go on cruises, wear dresses and cowgirl boots, hang out with friends at restaurants without thinking if i'll fit in the booth or not without my stomach touching the table.