Hi everyone. I saw this forum and knew it was for me. I was banded in 7/10 and have only lost 30 lbs. I have never been able to accept the restrictions of the band - It felt like another diet to me. In other words, I wanted it to be a magic fix and never looked at it as a tool. I'm saddened and ashamed. My parents paid for my surgery, so I additionally feel like I've let them down. To make matters worse, my doctor guilts me and lectures me each time I go in to see her, which just makes me never want to go in. Today though, I have to go in. Can't keep any food down. I'm guessing my band slipped, and in some ways I'm hoping it did. Perhaps this will be the wake up call I need. I'm bracing myself for the humiliation of this visit. I'm convinced my failure is psychological - I didn't want to let go of food. Any of it. I didn't want to change how I ate because it was too uncomfortable. Plus, all along, I just wanted to be a normal person. I didn't want to need the band. I wanted to go back to my younger years when weight wasn't an issue.
Ahhhh, so much self-reflection. Thanks for listening. Good luck to you all. I'm off to see the doc.