I totally understand the feeling like a failure. In 2001-02, I lost about 100 pounds all on my own. I dieted, excercised and just totally changed my lifestyle. I met my now husband in November 2002, and in the course of dating and getting married, I put about 20 pounds back on. Then came the babies...two of them in a span of 21 months. I put on 50 pounds with them and was very close to being back where I was when I initially started dieting in 01. I thought to myself, well I did it before on my own, and I can do it again. Well, it did not happen that way. I would lost 20 pounds and then put 10 of it back on. I did NutriSystem, Weight Watchers, and even did a medical weight loss program that used drugs. Nothing helped me. I used to look at all WLS as the "easy" way out, but after having a nervous breakdown in my dr's office over the fact that I just couldn't lose the weight, I relized that this was something I needed to look into. I am so glad I did, as I am down 43 pounds and so much happier with myself and in turn, I feel like I am a better mom and wife. Good luck to you!!