wanna.b.healthy

I am beginning my first lasting weight loss journey.  Like all other lap-banders, I have been overweight for years but the last few years have been very discouraging as my health has delcined significantly, my endurance and energy have bottomed out, and my outlook on life has started to change.  Things I used to love -- entertaining, travel, and being on the go, have been replaced by preferring to stay away from people and to stay at home where I am safe and more comfortable.  It's too intimidating to be out among people who seem to be commenting on my size and not to be able to fit in or do things like the average person can; even things as simple as fitting into a booth at my favorite restaurant.   I finally decided it is time to do something more than continue down the slippery slope.  I looked into gastric by-pass surgery and was willing to take the plunge even though I know of so many who are sick for several years until their bodies finally adjust.  We went to a seminar on lap banding but I had no intention of losing weight "the slow way" which was what the band offered, in my limited knowledge.  After the lapband seminar, my husband was happy to hear of an option that did not have such high risks and did not so drastically alter the intestional anatomy.  He encouraged me to look further into the lapbad, read more on it, and consider not doing the bypass.  That was a Tuesday night -- by the next Tuesday, I had met with the surgeon and had signed up for the program.Because my BMI is over 50, my insurance is covering the procedure at 100% with no co-pays, deductibles or co-insurance.  They also will not require a pre-diet before surgery.   As of right now, I am scheduled for surgery in 41 days.  I am so excited to think how my life will change but am alo very afraid of another failure.  I have been willing and motivated before and have not succeeded, why do I think I will this time.  Well, as the nurse I met with recently told me:  "You've never had this tool in your toolbox before."  Can't wait to see what the future holds.