Even if you aren't ready, take one day at a time. You will feel better soon, the first few day were also the worst for me. I also thought i had made the wrong decision but little by little when i began to see the changes it motivated me to eat the right things and believe me once you get on soft foods you will feel great! give it time and keep a possitive attitude. Don't worry about how they treated you at the hospital. You and only you you have the power to make this change in your life. You wont regret it. Good luck and take it easy.