Birinak

I wasn't implying that you didn't give a satisfactory answer. I was saying that you're always welcome back to contribute any more thoughts you have on the subject.

That's alright. It is everyone's thread. If you want to add in your strategies on picky-eaters, I'm sure the rest of the thread's followers would welcome your input.

Thanks Leifysmom! I really appreciate your input and I'm glad that you're sharing your ideas with us. Although I've had to explain my intention behind this thread a few times, I really did start this thread to hear what all of you have to say. I have learned a few more strategies that never occurred to me before and the ones that I find particularly useful will be added to my arsenal for any future picky-eaters that I may have. Thanks again!

Well, actually, so far of all the people who've posted, you're the only one who seems angry. I thanked you for your post and I gave you as thorough and honest an answer as I could. I wasn't offended. If anything is offensive, now, it is calling a person "defensive." "Defensiveness" implies an irrational presumption of criticism, especially resulting from a sensitivity about self-perceived flaws. This is the internet and not a face-to-face discussion, so I couldn't tell what your tone was and that is why I gave two answers (explaining why I did so quite clearly): one for if you were literally referring to yourself and one for if you were speaking about how others should act. Very often, when people want to say, without being direct, that people should not behave in a certain way, they use the personal "I," as in "Well, I would never behave that way!" As I mentioned in the last post, I wasn't sure which meaning your statement implied. As I made no definite conclusion, and only wondered which of the two meanings you intended, I was not being defensive. What you said was that you would never be so presumptuous as to tell other parents how to feed their children, especially since you're on an obesity board. Well, we are also on an obesity board and we're sharing our personal ideas on parenting. According to you, people on an obesity board = having a lot to learn about eating.1 I hope you can see why a person, without being able to hear your tone or see your facial expressions, would wonder which of the two meanings you intended. 1. Side note: I think obese people don't actually have that much to learn before they can understand whether it is worse to eat an entire pizza or an entire apple. Their limited education on nutrition can't account for being hundreds of pounds overweight. The reason obese people choose the pizza is psychological, not because they don't know it's worse than an apple. So, if I ask how do you get your child to eat an apple for the first time, when what s/he insists on is a pizza, I expect that you already know that much about eating, obese or not, to understand the question and to be able to share your own approach. Now, I hope that I wasn't being too presumptuous.

Thanks for your post. Again, the purpose of this thread, at least my intention in creating it, is to ask everyone what their own individual philosophy to introducing new foods is, how they came to the approach, and why they find it effective (along with whatever other topics come up). These questions are not presumptuous in any sense nor is expressing an individual opinion on what works best for you or what strategies best fit your personal philosophy. As far as having a lot to learn about eating--if I take your statement literally, as only speaking for yourself when you say "I"--I'd say that many of us have already learned all that we need to know about eating at least much healthier than we were formerly. No one here is suggesting ways to reach maximum health. No human knows how to do that. But we know that eating veggies and fruits is one way to reach better health. You don't need to be thin (not "on an obesity board") to know that. Now that we are putting into action ideas of better eating for ourselves, the question is: how do parents get their children to do the same? For those without children, how would you do it and why? If you were speaking for other people when you alluded to the hypocrisy of being obese and presuming to tell parents how to feed their children, for my part, I always ate many veggies and fruit since childhood. I'm a vegetarian, I stopped drinking soda and artificially sweetened juice as a child, I always loved unpopular veggies like brussel sprouts and beets, and I hated white bread (etc). And yet, I have a weight problem. I talk about my problems with obesity in the other thread. My problem was not quality but quantity; quantity of good food and quantity of exercise. How parents can regulate those two aspects of a child's behaviour seems infinitely more difficult, but my mother certainly did try. Now that I have the band to control portions, I don't feel like I'm dieting at all because I don't have to change the kinds of food I eat at all in order to be healthy. I learned from an early age to love the alternative to greasy and sugary foods.

Yes, it definitely drives me nuts. We can't really do anything about the fact that kids are exposed to these campaigns, but we can make them less susceptible to their influence. I taught my brother from a young age to view advertising with cynicism. When he was younger and we were watching commercials, I'd often ask him to pinpoint the specific manipulation tactic used, the target group, or any borderline falsehoods. It really works to raise their awareness and they can understand these concepts at a very young age. He judges products on their true value to him and not on the brand or advertising power behind it.

I'm 24 years old, and I had the surgery when I was 23 (late August of 2010). I was told that I was too young by a few. My mother was first very angry when my dad suggested the lapband two years ago. This was after them worrying and trying so many approaches for years. My mother eventually realized that, if something drastic wasn't done, I may be increasingly obese my entire (probably brief) life. She told my grandparents that I was about to get the lapband and my grandpa was so upset that she now pretends like I changed my mind and I didn't get the surgery. He said: "Why surgery? Why doesn't she just diet?" Even with my current success with the band, questions like these still make me ashamed that I couldn't just be normal and stop eating too much. I became the only chubby child of the family at about the age of 5. Until puberty, I was sometimes chubby and sometimes at a normal weight depending on how active I was. After puberty, I gained weight like you wouldn't believe. My usual weight was about 230 pounds by first year of university. Without intending to, I actually lost the freshmen-15 and ended up at 215 pounds. I gained almost exactly that amount back by second year. Then, one diet got me to 193 pounds before I rebounded over two years' time to an all-time high (or low, more like it) of 267 pounds. I've tried diets and I'm not saying they are all crap and this is the only thing that works. This is in some ways a diet anyway and not everyone (their fault or not) loses a substantial amount of weight with the band, or at least keeps it off. But, one often quoted study states that about 95% of diets fail. Another states that people who diet gain more weight in the end than those who were the same weight but did not diet. Now, I don't need to replicate the studies behind these statistics to see their underlying truth. My most successful diet was followed by my all-time highest weight. The one weight-loss in freshmen year that I didn't even realize was happening (until the end of the year) still failed after a year, but at least it only brought me back to my usual weight of 230-something. So, what's the answer? Continue dieting and keep rebounding to a new high? Never diet and stay at the same weight for fear of gaining more? With the lapband, there's a higher rate of success and why wouldn't I want the process of dieting to be easier? I got the lapband now because I don't like the odds of people who go it alone. I also don't like the odds of people who've been overweight since their teens. If I had gained weight after pregnancy like some women have, I probably would have given dieting and exercise a few more tries. As far as age goes, I think there are two ages that are the best for lapband: 1) when you're in your youth and you are just beginning to date, find yourself, travel, apply for jobs and 2) when you're mature and you need to lose weight for your health and to mitigate co-morbidities. Of course, any age is a good time to lose weight, whether you're regaining your youthful confidence or seizing those opportunities that you missed out on when you were in your 20s. Anyhow, I don't like how I feel when I'm overweight and I don't want to struggle like this for another 10 years, until I'm at a more "appropriate age." As long as you're old enough to make an informed and independent decision about your own body and as long as you have tried the solo route, I think the sooner the better.

This thread is definitely not just for those parents with picky-eaters. In fact, it's not even just for parents. Everyone is welcome to fully comment and to vote in the poll (about what they would do if/when they have children, what they do for their younger siblings or nieces/nephews, would they do when introducing new foods to their non-picky children etc). You mention some interesting strategies that never occurred to me (drawing a line in the plate). Of course, some parents with truly picky-eaters, unlike your children, will find difficulty with compromises too. I really agree with encouraging others to refrain from speaking negatively about new or healthy foods in front of your child. There's no reason that another adult should express how much they think veggies are gross in their presence. I can't see the benefit of that.

Thanks for taking the time to reply. One thing though: I don't think you quite understand my intention by this post. This thread is not for every person to tell others how wrong other parents are in their choices; this is for sharing your own philosophy on parenting, telling us why you believe it to be effective or why you came to this approach, and for telling us about your strategies for getting your child to eat healthy. Now, many topics involve opposing views, but that doesn't mean that we should avoid discussing them. In fact, it's actually those topics that we all agree on that need the least discussion. Don't you think? Just like in the academia, people should be able to maturely express even a diametrically opposed argument without it leading to insults and hurt feelings. It is up to the commenter to choose the phrasing of their opinions wisely, and it's up to the reader not to take personally what was only the commenter's general opinion and not a personal attack. Also, if you could expand on the relevance of my age to the quality or (im)maturity of my post or opinions, please do. I mean this sincerely. For the most part, I've posed questions. Any opinions I mentioned were only my personal thoughts. I've emphasized that I want to hear what others (of various experiences, educational backgrounds, lifestyles, and ages) have to say on the issue, rather than just spout my own theories as absolute facts and leave it at that.

I hear people say this A LOT, but it never made sense to me. I mostly hear this from fellow dieters who also say: "I always have to be around food that's not healthy for me, but what can I do? I have kids." If it's not healthy for you, it's not healthy for them! Right? I really just don't know why (some, but truthfully many) people feel that they have to keep these foods in the house for their children. Not only does feeding them the foods that got you to your situation set their habits and tastes for food for life, but they're just plain bad for the health of a small body. I can understand the occasional treat, but consciously feeding things like coca-cola (yes, even diet soda), kool-aid, chicken-nuggets, fries, pop-tarts, and, my god, what passes for "children's Cereal," which consists of powdered sugar on usually white processed wheat, I really don't understand it. Even when parents think they're feeding their kids "healthy" foods, they feed them fruit roll-ups, fishsticks, artificially coloured and flavoured fruit yogurt, and fruit juice that's mostly artificial sugar and Water. Just containing the word "fruit," doesn't make these foods even a close approximation to healthy. Speaking generally of Western culture (although I love it in most respects much more than my own heritage's culture), I remember from my days in a North American elementary school that food such as these were brought by kids as daily lunches (lunchables, dunkaroos, pizza pops). When I went to my friends' houses, I was often really taken aback by the fact that they ALWAYS had a full supply of pop, ice-cream, pogos, waffles (etc) in the fridge. They always ate fruit-loops or greasy bacon/sausages for Breakfast. They're reaction to vegetables was "ewww!!!" and they learned from an early age that their own parents have to force-feed themselves raw vegetables or load it with thick salad dressing just for the sake of "being good" in their diet. Many children with good metabolisms and high activity actually might not get fat from these items, but these things on a regular basis are horrible for their systems. And eventually, by the time they're 30, their metabolisms fall behind, while their taste in food is set. Now, obviously, I don't, myself, have a healthy approach to food. I eat too much of good, natural food. And, I spend a lot of the day reading, or sitting in class/the lab/at the computer, so I'm very sedentary. But I'm the only one in my entire extended family who is overweight and still I really love fruits and vegetables, but that's because my mother surrounded me with them and I never saw her have to force herself to eat vegetables, and she ate a wider variety of vegetables than only celery and carrot sticks at that. She never had to load up the fruit and vegetables in our house with Peanut Butter or cheese wiz to make it more "edible" and my brother and I used to argue over which one of us got that last piece of broccoli. The one thing that she could not control was my wacky portion sizes once I started plating food myself. She really tried, and she even tried to kick me out each day to go and play, but these behaviours are much harder to control than consciously bringing bad foods into the house. I just hear too many times that "my kids just don't like vegetables." Just look at commercials and the way that North American and British adults are told new ways to sneak vegetables into their kids' foods. Look at those V8 commercials. OMG, you mean if I drink this, I don't have to eat any vegetables? Or how about "it tastes like white bread, but it has the nutrition of whole wheat." For god's sake, stripping bread of its natural nutrients, and mixing in artificial supplements doesn't make it healthy! These campaigns work and are sooo ubiquitous precisely because these sentiments exist and are ubiquitous. It's not true that "childhood" and "liking vegetables" are inherently mutually exclusive concepts. Kids don't like vegetables because they weren't taught to by their parents in a way that was convincing and natural. Kids are perceptive and they are watching you. They see how you react to and speak about fries, and how you react to and speak about brussel sprouts. I know, I know--I'm blabbering on with this rant (but no one made you read this far. You're probably just a masochist ). And, I know that some people are going to take great offense to this. That's fine. I expect it and it won't hurt me if you do. But, just so that you understand my intentions, I should say that I really don't mean this to be offensive. First, if it doesn't apply to you, there's no reason to take personal offense. Second, if it does, I'm sure that you can understand that this is done out of a genuine concern for a very grave problem. I just really would like people, if this applies to them, to reconsider this too common mentality that exists in some Western countries. It's a vicious cycle and I know that many overweight adults have difficulties switching to a healthier diet because of a disgust for healthy food that was formed at an early age. For them, there is no appetizing alternative to fat or sugary foods. The wrong associations that you construct in childhood are very difficult to break. I'm saying that your kids can love vegetables, if you start things right. We all have weaknesses, but we should never consciously pass on our learned weaknesses to our children. And grocery-shopping is a conscious, weekily decision. Wow, it really feels good to finally say this after all these years! If you don't agree, I welcome your critique of my opinions, but only if you use your indoor voice.

Actually, my cultural background is Persian and we cook spinach (either fried, steamed, or boiled) with garlic and onion, then we add it into plain yogurt (balkan style) with salt and black pepper. The mix is usually eaten with pita bread as a side dish. It's much more appetizing than serving boiled spinach alone. There is this other problem about how some Anglo-Saxon cultures serve their vegetables. Sometimes they just steam or boil a plate of carrots and peas (sometimes from frozen) with little flavour or with cheese-wiz. People need to pay attention to texture and flavour, but without resorting to processed fattening cheese products. That's why I think that people should offer a variety of vegetables in different forms. Cook it in with the main meal (e.g. stews or roasts with a bunch of veggies), try different salads (bean and vegetable salad, regular salads) as a side, but not replacement for the main dinner meal. Again, even at my family's house, where we're crazy about veggies and fruit, my sister was still picky as a child. It is not always the fault of the parent or a negative influence. There are natural variations in temperament. However, this is also a common excuse for some parents that doesn't hold up in the cases where multiple children in the house don't like veggies and fruit, or when even one of the parents has a negative attitude toward veggies and fruit, even if they force themselves to eat them for a diet's sake. The natually picky-eater "gene" or temperament cannot explain why the vast majority of North American, British, and Australian children have serious distastes for veggies and fruit. It doesn't explain why a majority of their parents feel the same way. Just in the same sense that a thyroid problem doesn't explain the obesity epidemic and the extent to which an individual is overweight. So, of course, many people either have one child who is a naturally picky-eater or know of a parent with such a child. But, as I said, even picky-eaters will come around later in life if they are raised in a household with positive attitudes toward veggies and fruit, if they aren't ever physically or emotionally forced to eat what they dislike (thereby forming negative associations with those foods), and if they are constantly surrounded by and offered veggies and fruit of various kinds and forms. I asked my sister if she agreed with my assessment of her, written in the post above, and she did, completely. She doesn't like all veggies and fruit. She is still picky about how they are cooked and served, but she eats fruit and veggies everyday (not for the sake of a diet or health) in the forms that she likes best.

I don't want to advise you to do anything that is against your better judgement or your own more thorough knowledge of the current state of your own body and emotions. I only write this because it sounds as if you're ready to completely give up, quite understandably of course. However, I would say that I think you should stick with the band, even if you don't follow all of the dietary rules. I don't mean that you should neglect those rules that are for your safety or for the maintenance of the band, but possibly loosen up on those rules that are for strictly losing weight quickly. If you don't feel like you can take bandster hell anymore, instead of throwing the band overboard, just make bandster hell more tolerable for you in small ways. If you don't have any restriction or satisfaction, I'd just really want you to wait before removing the band unless it was causing you pain or illness. Look, in my own case, my most rapid weight loss has been after the last fill of mine, in February. And, if you compare my loss to people who had their surgeries in the same month or even a few months after me, I'm behind most of them. But, ultimately, I don't really care. I'm doing my own thing, making small but lasting changes, and not putting myself through any stress over diets. I plan things so that I can have about 2 cheat foods that I really enjoy a week, of 1-2 official serving sizes, (only buy this much of your cheat-food in a single week, never store extra cheat-food in the house for the next week). If I ever feel like being less strict for a special occasion, I do it knowing that I'm not on a strict plan and, therefore, I don't end up feeling that I've failed and that I have to start from square one again. I just keep monitoring my weight. The second that I start gaining or stop losing, I get a little stricter and cut back on my daily intake (except for the 1-2 single serving cheats a week). Before two months ago, I really felt like the band was just a foreign object in my abdomen and I was worried that I made a mistake. Other than the occasional annoying stuck episode from not having learned to take small enough bites, the band didn't affect my ability to eat normal portions. But, it did make me eat slower and that's a benefit of its own, over time. Even if you just lose about 20 pounds a year, and increase your portions to about 2 cups of decent food (which will likely be still drastically different from your pre-band habits, if you're like many of your fellow bandsters), in 4 years, you'll be 60-80 pounds lighter and you'll have made changes that have actually become ingrained as habit by then. None of us got to the weight that we're at by eating 2 cups of normal and balanced foods, about 3-4 times a day not including Snacks. So, if you even do that, as long as it's lower than your previous usual calorie intake, you'll lose weight. You'll lose it slowly, but without all the mental suffering, guilt, and physical deprivation. The one thing is that you should at least check the scale once a week to see if you ever begin to gain weight (and modify your intake if you are), and always stick to the one rule that, although you will allow yourself little cheats (like I mentioned, once or twice a week in 1-2 servings), but you will never binge again (order the usual take-out, buy a huge multiple serving bag of chips). Also, I know many bandsters who had restriction at 4 ccs. I don't think that I have restriction yet (I think people usually know when they have it), but I do feel satisfied with much less food than I did a few months ago. I never get that "I can't take another bite" feeling yet. But, I'm at about 8.7 CCs already. And I'm probably going to need more fills to reach real restriction. Our anatomies are very different from one person to another. There could be differences in the thickness of the stomach wall and the thickness of the fat-pad between the band and the stomach. Don't give up. Try more small fills (don't get too much at any one time), make small but permanent changes, and keep monitoring your weight. So many people think at some point before restriction that the band isn't going to ever work for them. Keep seeing your doctor regularly. Never avoid going because you feel like you haven't lost enough weight. The most successful bandsters in the longterm are those that regularly see their doctors. Good luck!

Well, let me congratulate you on your good news, Cheryl Ann! Seriously, that's awesome. I have a worry that my time with my band will come to an early end because of a slip. Or much worse than that, erosion! Eek! Good job also on managing your weight so well. That's almost 2 years with your band out of order. 5 pounds is nothing. Now that you've got a bit of a defill, you'll say goodbye to those 5 and quite a bit more in no time. Congrats again!

My "normal" BMI range is 101 pounds to 136 pounds. I chose, for the ticker, the goal weight of 135 initially, but I moved it up to 145. As I get closer to the goal, maybe I'll be motivated to become the true petite-self my skeleton wants me to be, but for now I can't imagine pushing myself harder than the work entailed in maintaining "festively plump." lol I feel like it will always be in my nature to be somewhat chubby and maintenance of anything less than 145 or maybe 140 would be an exhausting struggle (not everyone would still be chubby at this weight, but I'm 5'2). Definitely not getting there with this attitude! It would be strangely nice to be 115 though. I wouldn't want to be ideally any lower than 110, even if 101 pounds is still healthy for my frame.

Although I agreed with SOME of the logic of Spartan's post, he was wrong in other ways. Well, he is first wrong in his presumptuous and rude attitude toward the OP for her personal decision. Let's say that she had done something to be sorry for and let's say that she owed her family or the greater society for her "grievous" wrongs; there are aspects of everyone's lives that could stand improvement, that negatively affect other sentient beings, and linkages can always be made from those actions to a negative effect on society in general (in fact, this is almost always a popular excuse used by certain people in society in order to demand a legislative control on the personal and private behaviour or speech of others). But, the link to a negative effect on society of a private and personal action is usually tenuous and, Spartan should admit that, even if the links were not tenuous but very real, his justification is still just an obvious excuse to be rude to strangers. You can tell by his tone. Come out of the closet, put on your big-boy pants, and be rude in the open without recourse to false justifications. Also, any negative effect of her private actions upon herself that radiates to her family is up to her family to attempt to influence through shame or an intervention. As long as the actions are afflicted on herself, even if their effects indirectly emotionally interfere with another's feelings, it's the business of her friends, her family, and herself. The next problem is of a logical, not moral or emotional, nature. He justifies his shaming of the OP also by claiming that some (as he admits, not all) fat people deal with food in the exact same manner as a drug addict. He proceeds to make a generality about the entire overweight community's one true way to weight-loss, as suggested by him. And then, he shames a dieting person, whom he doesn't know, but who is non-compliant with his idea of managing food addictions. Now, I agree with the view that, at least, many obese people feel that they have a genuine food addiction (in the literal sense, on par with other addictions). I also agree that, if it is on par with an official addiction, they should avoid even a little bit of their trigger food, in the same sense that drinking just one shot of alcohol wouldn't be a successful strategy for a recovering alcoholic. However, you can't umbrella all people struggling with weight under the same psychological motivations and prescribe the same treatment for all. For a good fraction of obese people, the problem that needs control might be of portion-sizes (or of other kinds), as in, general over-eating, and a sedentary lifestyle. Those two categories apply to me. Because I now understand the underlying motivations or nature of my struggle with my weight, I also know that, actually, I can have one chocolate bar and not go into a day or week long binge. I could psychologically tolerate a wrap in the morning (I don't because I rarely went to fast food places, even before my band, and I probably couldn't get it down now) and not use it as an excuse to carry on binging because "my diet's ruined, so I'll have to start again on Monday." My problem is that I would overeat with good foods too. I never have been in the habit of eating bad foods, with the exception of chocolate. Even before the band, I stopped drinking soda altogether as a child, I always love eating vegetables, I'm a vegetarian (not for anything noble, like animal rights hahaha), and I really dislike sugar-based candy. I just have a serious problem with stopping myself from eating until I'm stuffed and an extreme distaste for exercise. But, how would your strategy help me? I still need to eat, so unlike the alcoholic who could potentially physically live without his addiction, I can't. The band, for me, is a perfect implement. I am barely on a diet right now. Yet, I calculated that my average loss is 2 pounds a week since I got the band 6.5 months ago, and the rate of loss is getting faster with more fills. It's effective and steady weight-loss, at a rate recommended by researchers. And guess what? The theory that you shouldn't deprive yourself unnecessarily of a treat works very well for me. I eat one to two chocolate bars a week. That's usually the limit to my unhealthy eating, although I don't abstain from special occasions (less than once a month). So, I never feel like: "I can't wait until this is over, when I've lost all my weight, so I can get back to real eating!" I could literally go on like this until the end of my hopefully prolonged life. I never said that about any diet before now, because nothing helped with portion control. If I want a treat, I'll have it. Psychologically, this is the best strategy for me. Making small but regular changes that I can maintain for a lifetime and getting the band for the problem of portion-control. And, that was a rather weak attempt--trying to say that other dieters will come on this forum and be negatively influenced if they read our strategy of moderation and managed indulgences. By that same token, you should be held responsible for anyone that reads your posts and adopts your general aura of ill-will and misanthropy. Crap, I am atrociously long-winded today. I just can't be concise. I still maintain that if you keep reading passed a decent length, you've brought the head-ache on yourself

Your comment really hasn't come off in any way negatively, at least that was my feeling from reading it and I'll take you at your word about your intention too. You really kept your promise of using your indoor voice. hahaha Actually, everyone's been a lot more civil than I expected. I really thought I'd get "How DARE you!" a few times at least.

I think you're quite right. There is no reason why you should give in by providing constant access to bad foods in the house (you also should teach them that they should be able to enjoy a possibly fattening/sugary treat in moderation). The only thing that I would emphasize is that, no matter what, the "eating experience" or the quality time at the dinner table should not be turned into a genuinely negative experience for the child. They will eventually have the freedom to buy their own foods (even before they move out; sneakily, as a teenager with an allowance). You want to make sure that they actually come to appreciate healthy food just for the sake of its being delicious if prepared in a (healthy) way that they prefer. But yes, if they grow up surrounded by healthy food and have no other unhealthy foods to fall back on, they will come around.

That's very true. There are kids that are picky eaters when they're young and they grow out of it by their later years. The difference between them (like my sister, like yourself) and those who at the age of 50 feel depressed at the thought of eating non-cheese-wiz doused veggies is that they were either exposed to a good nutritional education outside the home (the least effective way), they were surrounded by fruits/veggies and positive attitudes towards them, or they had a sudden epiphany after childhood (very rare, since it would have to be one that actually changed their taste in food, and not one that only motivated them, for the sake of dietary health, to eat better (as is more typical)). Anyhow, it's really great that you're putting in the effort and providing your daughter with the right environment. You're doing all of the right things. I'm sure that it will click once she gets over the finnicky stage.

That's great that your child is physically active. That's something that, as a young adult, I have to push myself for. Again, my mother was always physically active. She has almost exactly the same body skeletal frame as I do (very petite, almost the same proportions, hell, even a similar face). Funnily enough, my grandmother has the same frame and a similar face, and I was the only child to inherit all these traits in one package. Anyway! Going off on a tangent! My point is that the difference between me and the two of them is that both are slim. There is sudden natural variability in temperament. You might not necessarily be the one negatively influencing her eating choices (so, you might not be getting "half-wrong"). It could also be someone else in the family. But, for most families, this attitude toward vegetables and fruit is across the board shared and expressed in front of young children. My final point that I wanted to make is that this process is going to be gradual with picky eaters. Don't expect for them to try a new fruit or vegetable even the fifth time they see you eat it with enjoyment. Keep it around them. Cut it up for them and for yourself in a bowl. Make sure to eat some every time. Also, try many different types of veggies and fruit. They don't have to like this specific fruit or veg that you're introducing. I'm sure that even I have a veggie that I don't like (I don't like cilantro very much, actually). Offer many until you land on one that they at least don't hate and, keep that on the menu, and always try others. Finally, even if your kid doesn't like fruit and veggies, it doesn't mean that you have to offer them fries or whatever bad foods that they do like (I'm not saying that you are, just a general point). Believe me, they're programmed not to want to starve to death. Make available to them many good foods, and they will go to the fridge and eat the good foods that they mind the least when they are hungry. Never make pop (even diet pop), sugared juices, non-healthy (non-bran, or high-sugar) cereals available REGULARLY, because that will always be what they go for when they're hungry.

Hey. I actually understand where you're coming from. Actually, my sister is the picky eater of the family and she doesn't love all vegetables as much as everyone else in the family. However, she does eat vegetables and fruits every day on her own initiative, and that's because she still does enjoy them much more than the average North American. She just sticks to many of the usual vegetables and fruits, and is less varied in her produce. Just like how I grew up in a family as the only person who was overweight since childhood (with a naturally ravenous appetite and sedentary book-worm personality), there is definitely normal variation between individuals that occurs naturally. Genetics and neurology can account for SOME of a person's taste in food and tendencies. That being said, if my sister was raised in the typical North American household, she'd be the picky eater who only ate french fries and chicken nuggets and was physically revolted by lettuce. First, I think you should examine your household overall for others who display a negative attitude toward vegetables. If they are children, you may have an environmental factor going on. If they are adults, you should encourage them to pretend, in her presence, that they enjoy vegetables or at least fruit (they can stick to their favourite ones in front of her). Next, I agree with your physician. It would actually have the opposite of the desired effect if you try to force her either physically or emotionally to eat her fruits and veggies. She will make the association that veggies = upset, discomfort, humiliation, your disappointment and she will always regard them as a dietary obligation, rather than an enjoyable food to consume. One general strategy to getting them to like vegetables and fruits is: always have it around them, even if they don't eat them. Always have different forms (salad, cooked). Put out fruit salad on the table or a bowl of easy-to-enjoy fruit (grapes, apples, bananas, watermelon, peaches). Don't start out with brussel sprouts, start with carrots, peas etc. For picky eaters, really concentrate on fruit. Pick veggies and fruits without strong tastes or smells. My mother always offered new veggies and fruits, and since they were new to us, we sometimes resisted. But, we always saw it on the table, she always ate it with a real appearance of enjoyment (she'd act like it was chocolate cake and to her it usually was like that), and she always offered it (IN REPEATED INSTANCES), but with a smile and with the attitude that it is so tasty and healthy. And, "really, you're going to pass up an offer to eat this fruit? Oh my gosh, i don't know how you can!" This is what I did when I tried to introduce my teenage younger brother to steamed beets. He saw me eat them all the time and I always told him: "Dean, you have to try this! It's sooo good for you, and even if you don't like it now, believe me you'll love it later! Try it with salt, try it with yogurt. Alright, your loss! You'll like it someday. Trust me, I didn't like it at first either" Eventually, he was curious. I repeatedly offered, but in a positive tone, and now he loves it. Remember, even if you don't believe it yourself, YOU HAVE TO FAKE IT TO MAKE IT! Be convincing. And don't let them see you express more interest in bad foods than good ones. Try to be balanced about it. All foods are good in moderation, even the occasional treat. But, even if you only go to McDonald's once a year, if at that time you act like you are in heaven, but you eat salads every day and you act like it's a dietary obligation, they will notice.

I agree with others that you should tell them. They may eventually find out, and finding out that you kept such a major change in your life from them could really hurt them or make them feel that you don't take them seriously. But, it may not be good to focus on the weight aspect, as others mentioned. Children should hear that the priority for you are concepts such as health, nutrition, fitness. There's always the concern for their body-image and how your decision might reflect that if the focus is placed on losing weight. Although weight is an important factor for health, all of the above concepts naturally lead to healthy weights anyhow. It's definitely a good thing to link your decision as one that will benefit the entire family, in the sense that you'll be a happier, healthier, more active, and fun mommy. I would also say that children worry a lot. Maybe you should tell them directly after you have the surgery. Sit them down and explain in a way that respects their feelings and intellects. Also, that way they'll think you're all fixed before they even had to find out that you were "sick" with whatever weight-related ailments that you'd mention. You know? Like, if you go before hand and tell them: "mommy is sick with cholestrol, she might die of diabetes, so mommy has to be cut open," they might worry the whole time. If you leave it until directly after, they'll learn the truth about why you're sore and even be able to help you, but without worrying while you were under the knife.

It's really good that you acknowledge a problem that you have and that most of us can sympathize with. As for bad foods, try to control yourself at the grocery store rather than at home. Like other bandsters, I find this to be the easiest point to control your behaviour. It's much easier to just tell yourself "no" when you're thinking of placing something bad in your cart, than when you have constant and private access to the food in your cupboard. You may still try to rationalize your way into buying a bad food (i.e. "I swear, I'll only eat one cookie a day"), but once it's in your house, you might find that those kinds of multiple-portion foods are calling out to you throughout the day, or when you feel that you can't control yourself (you're feeling emotionally down or when you're tired and hungry (etc)). My way of controlling myself from eating the one bad food that I really like (chocolate) is to only go grocery shopping once in the week. I plan before hand, so that I know to buy absolutely all the ingredients that I need to make every meal and snack for the week. This way, I know that I won't really have an excuse of needing to stop by the store for a single necessary item. If you can, only put yourself in that temptation once in an extended period. Once at the store, commit to buying no more than TWO items that you really enjoy and that are MEANT to be consumed in only 1-2 servings (not a large bag of chips). That way, no matter if you pig out on two chocolate bars in one sitting, or on two single-serving bags of chips, you know that, in reality, it only amounts to two chocolate bars or two small bags of chips a week (since you won't go shopping for another week). I find that buying two chocolate bars satisfies my temptation at the time to buy something bad at the store, and yet, the items won't take a huge toll over my weekly calorie intake. If you stick to only buying healthy Snacks as a replacement, you may feel deprived and feel the temptation of those foods at the grocery store even more. Make those two, single or double-serving, cheat-items really count by not just buying anything; buy something you love, no matter how fattening. While at the grocery store, make sure that you also stock up on exactly enough of varied healthy snacks to last you after the bad foods run out (buy your favourite fruit and low-calorie fruit yogurt for when you're craving sweets, dip and veggies for something more savoury, and maybe salted peanuts for something salty (as long as it's just enough for a week and not too much)). The healthy snacks that I eat vary depending on whether I'm having a sweet or salty craving. One kind of food won't satify a craving of another kind and it will only leave me thinking about the foods that would! This is a struggle for all of us. These are things that work for me. Maybe you won't find these tips useful or maybe you've already tried these. The advice about seeking therapy is also really good. But, I should say that even admitting that you have a problem, like an addiction or a genetic susceptibility, can end up becoming an excuse for giving in to temptation. If you fixate too much on the power of your addiction, you might end up believing that you're utterly powerless against your temptation, and "well, I just can't help it anyway." Every person has free will and we ultimately choose to find strategies that circumvent our very real problems or we allow those problems to control us for the rest of our lives.

You might very well be too tight. There's no way that you'll be able to get enough nutrients in only four bites. However, is it possible that you haven't gotten used to consciously eating small bites and chewing really well? I only ask because it took me several months to make it a habit. I mean to say that I thought that I was taking small bites and chewing well, and I was compared to how normal people without the band eat, but in terms of what I was supposed to be doing as a bandster, my bites were still not small enough. Also, I would sometimes forget to pay attention while I was eating and all of a sudden realize that one of my bites was a little too much. By the way, in my opinion (others may think differently), it's only natural for you want to eat every two-three hours especially when you're consuming so little. I think it's likely real physical hunger and not "head hunger." Otherwise, you wouldn't meet your caloric needs as it is. Probably, once your band is a little less tight and you can consume more, you'll stay full for the full four hours. When you go to get a defill (if you do), just make sure to tell them very clearly that you only want a small fraction of what they put in last time taken out; that it's a tad too tight. Seeing as you can at least get some solid food passed the band, I think just a fraction of a CC will really help. When my band was too tight, they took out 1/3 of what they put in the previous time (0.25 of a CC, when the last fill was .75) and it made a tremendous difference, while still leaving me with most of the fill. As always, your doctor will know best. For nutrition's sake, try to drink real fruit and vegetable juices, and eat things like yogurt and maybe a very soft form of Protein like natural, pureed lentil & rice Soup (very easy to make) until you go to the doctor. Those will cover most of your nutritional needs for now. I think that if you can get down at least half a cup of lentil soup or yogurt, it'll be much better than a few bites of meat. Good luck!

I know exactly what you're talking about. I keep getting paranoid that my band will slip. I really feel like it'll happen. And with every weird feeling or sudden tightness, it crosses my mind. I don't vomit regularly, but I went through a few days in a row of repeated vomiting after getting a fill that was too tight a couple of months ago. I kept getting things painfully stuck. food would get stuck even when I kept to mushies and Soup. And I couldn't get a defill until about 4 days after I called to make an appointment. I was already worried about getting a slip before this because I had a hiatal hernia repair during surgery and I think I'm genetically prone to hiatal hernias (my mom and grandma had it, although neither of them are overweight). Supposedly, the hernia can increase the risk of a slip, and I don't see why I couldn't develop the hernia again. The idea of a slip worries me so much because I'm self-pay. I don't think I would want my parents to pay thousands more than they already have in order to fix the slipped band. So, I'd be SOL for a replacement band, and it would waste the $16000 that was paid for the first. I almost feel like there should be a refund if this product stops working so soon after purchase (or more likely, a free repair)! It's just "tough luck" for us self-payers as it is.

1200 calories, if you're the average female. I believe the average male requires 1600 cals.