SmallerChristie

I was chubby in school, and got FAT soon after moving out on my own.

Life was a party, and it caught up with me. I've battled with my weight since then, and tried several diets. I was fairly successful with a low-carb plan that I started at the end of 2002, and by July 2003 I was down 85 pounds and felt wonderful! I vowed that I would get to goal and never go back to the huge self that I was before. Then I was shocked to find myself pregnant and I figured that somehow gave me the right to eat anything I wanted "for the baby". I gained 120 pounds during that pregnancy, and could never get motivated again to take it off after our son was born.

I've avoided doctors as much as possible since. My last visit was in October 2008, when I went to Urgent Care for an ear infection. My weight at the time was 333 pounds.

This year, my 40th birthday was looming and I was suffering from severe anxiety, panic attacks and agoraphobia. I was not comfortable home alone and even less comfortable outside my home. I felt like a ticking time bomb and was certain that I would have a fatal heart attack any day.

February 28th, 2010, in the midst of the worst case of rolling panic attacks yet, I asked my husband to bring me to the emergency room. I didn't think I was going to survive that day. When admitted, my blood pressure was through the roof. There they did an EKG (which was abnormal and certainly didn't help my anxiety), followed by chest xrays that showed healthy lungs and a ton of blood work, none of which showed any cardiac distress. They gave me a Xanax and I was much calmer within a half hour. I was released a couple hours later with a 5-day dose of xanax, instructions to see my primary care provider and a referral to a cardiologist for a stress echo.

4 days later, I went for that stress test, and everything came back negative/normal. That was one weight off of my shoulders. The next day, I had an appointment with my doctor. She prescribed Zoloft and refilled my Xanax for 30 days while the Zoloft built up in my system. She also referred me to the weight loss clinic at the U of MN. Over the course of the next couple weeks, I had a mammogram and pap smear and a bunch more labwork and to my surprise, there was nothing really physically wrong with me other than a case of anxiety and morbid obesity.

The anxiety meds were working wonders, and I made an appointment for a weight loss surgery seminar and consultation with the surgeon on April 5, 2010. My weight at that consultation was 311. (I'd actually been losing weight from the anxiety, and from skipping meals due to my fear to leave the house.)

From then on, I was motivated! I didn't want to live in fear any longer. With that program, I've found a shrink who I love, who - catch this - has also had lap band surgery (what a great support system!) and medication which has calmed my nerves, and I've been doing absolutely wonderful! I've been walking regularly, eating better, comfortable driving and going out again, and I got my lap band a week ago today.

The past week hasn't been easy with the incisions, swelling, and the HORRENDOUS gas pain, but I'm not regretting anything yet. I'm already down 43 pounds and still motivated, and am looking forward to getting down to a "normal" BMI!