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I read your blog and commend you for your honesty. Many believe because since the outside is changed then everything will be better. If there are underlined issues once has never dealt with they will come out even after you have lost the weight. If we constant hear negative thoughts in our mind then it is what we believe about ourselves. What you think of yourself is not who you are. God wants to heal us from our old hurts. I will be keeping you in prayer. God bless you.