Hi Khloe,
You sound exactly like me! I wouldn't wish this difficulty on anyone but was actually glad to see someone else having the same problems as me.
We can do this!! We have to step back and look at this gift we have been given! I don't want to fail at this and I need a fresh start. Your message and the replys from others make me feel better. I am not alone.
I wish you the best!! Please let me know how things are going with you. Thank you!