Lap_dancer

I used a loofah scrubby and bath gel. Soak soak soak and scrub.

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go Self-approval Most of us want to be liked. We want other people to think of us as nice, friendly, kind, and loving. Most of us want the approval of others. Since childhood, some of us have been trying to get approval, trying to get people to like us and think highly of us. We may be afraid people will leave us if they disapprove of our actions. We may look for approval from people who have none to give. We may not know that we're lovable now and can learn to approve of ourselves. In order to live happily, to live consistently with the way our Higher Power wants us to live, and to tap into a way of life that is in harmony with the universe, we need to let go of our extreme need for approval. These unmet needs for approval and love from our past give others control over us today. These needs can prevent us from acting in our best interest and being true to ourselves. We can approve of ourselves. In the end, that's the only approval that counts. Today, I will let go of my need for approval and my need to be liked. I will replace them with a need to like and approve of myself. I will enjoy the surprise I find when I do this. The people who count, including myself, will respect me when I am true to myself.

Hey Beautiful people: thought for the day Listening As we learn to listen to our Higher Power, we also learn to listen with more awareness to others and ourselves. Being willing to spend time alone, in quiet, is essential to listening. We often fear silence and being alone, and we escape into distractions and busy work. Prayer is not so much telling and asking as it is listening. Prayer in this sense may be practiced continually during the day. By taking Step Three, we are giving up our will and becoming receptive to the will of our Higher Power. We focus less on our egotistical concerns and more on God, as we understand Him. That understanding grows through listening. By listening, we become aware of needs, feelings, and responses within ourselves, which we had previously ignored. Knowing ourselves better, we are more direct and honest with others and more responsive to them. The communication which develops with our Higher Power is on a level deep enough to relate us more meaningfully to everyone around us. I will listen today to Your voice.

Thank you all for being so open. Ghost thanks for sharing your photos, honey they look REAL familiar. So it is called a MONS lift. Well count me in. I'm getting one. I'll keep checking back. Patty

I'm all for the pregnant parking. I actually asked a police officer if I could park in a HC spot because I was carrying my 10 lb. baby at the time. It was all I could do to shop. The pram parking? I used a grocery cart.

Adios to Marinara sauce and Pasta. Pasta you get stuck and cause me to get sick. I've decided you aren't worth it. Marinara, the high acid of tomatoes is more than my stomach can take. you cause me to experience excruiciating stomach pains. You aren't worth it. Butter, I love you. Butter you make everything so much tastier but butter, you give me horrid indigestion and you are not worth it. Frosting from Publix, we've had some great parties but you now give me an intense headache and make me feel yucky all over. I need to say goodbye to you but thanks for the memories. Sicilian deep dish, you know you are my most favorite pizza but with the sauce, the thick crust, it detonates my stomach to eat you. I suffer for days even trying small bites so goodbye deep dish. Hello lightweight stomach. You feel so much easier to carry. Welcome home.

Double post of the cake, I meant to show this one. (which I adore)

My dear dear friends: Greetings. I would go through my names list and shout out special thoughts to each one but wanted to send love your way. My daughter's wedding party was yesterday. She and her new husband came home this weekend. (for those of you who do not know this, my ONLY daughter and precious light in my life eloped on July 5th. We already had purchased her wedding gown and veil and were full tilt into planning her Feb. 2, 08 wedding but the love birds didn't want to wait that long to be together) The party was a riot! Grand fun and it renewed my friendship with some girls I had drifted from for one reason or another but mostly my personal issues. This experience was very healing to me. I saw my mother. For those of you who don't know, my mother and my only sister and I are on the outs. I am in recovery for food addiction, they read my journal post to my OA friends and took great offense at what I shared with my support group. My response was to reject them and their mindset. BUT The stress of seeing my mother, the anticipation that she may ruin things with a pouting spell or something, sent me grazing. Doesn't matter that I can't recall what it was but I ate over limit and gained weight. Strange how my snacking has changed from junk food to too much of a good thing. I need a fill so very much. I still have restriction but not nearly like I had before. I've waited too long for a fill. Wish I could be there on September 11th. I will fly in on October 10th for my October 11th appointment with Dr. K. I'm staying until the 13th and plan to try to do something in the mountains. I want to see the colored leaves. Enjoy these photos of my SUN-in law, my NEW sister of choice...my daughter's mother-in-law "Mary". She is from the Isle of Wight in Great Britain. Her accent is divine and her tenderness is beyond imagineable. She never had a sister and my only sister treats me like dirt. We've unofficially adopted eachother as "sisters".

Don't they just kill ya? The ones with the grand advice. I suppose it is all well and good and intentions for better might be there but I come down to ...YO FOLKS, if I could do this myself ya think after 10+ years it would have happened. Not to mention the rumors on Lap Band. People CLEARLY have Lap Band confused with Gastric Bypass. I was on another board and the woman told the group that she "read" it was 500 calories for the rest of your life and that was all you could eat. It's just crazy. But people do have the right to be ignorant! Also, check travelocity. I found some great deals there. Although it is convenient ( HOliday inn express) This is a big city, easy to navigate. If I got nowhere, I'd jump on the link for hotels. Best to you. Patty

CHAT MEETINGS OF SUPPORT! Like Thursday, 8 PM - 9 PM Eastern or 9-10.

My husband was not commenting when I began this process. He said nothing. I think with all the promises of losing weight after twenty years, he thought ( yeah right ). He's changing his tune now that we are five months post op. and he is seeing the changes. **Actions speak louder than words**

Thanks so much. When I see the pictures I know there is a difference. I wish the scale would show it more though. Can't wait for my stomach to really go down!! But putting on makeup is such a joy. There is less "surface area" to cover. And isn't it great turning to the side and seeing cheek bones???? Love it. My gold bracelet is sliding...gee, guess I'll need to replace that too!

Congratulations on the bones and YES more *BLING* cause sizing it simply won't do!! Feels great doesn't it? I found my jaw bone!

Okay, I called there and I think it is a roll of the dice as to who you talk to. I was told that for the days I am there in Coloradio (Oct. 10,11,12,13) it's not available. So I picked a random date, Next Thursday...not available. So I picked another random date, next Monday. I think Holiday Inn Select in Parker is getting that they have some steady customers via the Crown but I don't know that for a fact. I think you might want to call the manager and find out what's up. I can tell you the Best Western in Aurora has a great rate. Comes with a Butler's pantry just like the Holiday Inn. But try the Holiday Inn one more time and see if you get anywhere by speaking to the manager. I wouldn't worry about not getting into THAT hotel. The highway system around there is wide open (no grid lock) but for the interstate roads on the other side of the city at rush hour then it gets a little slow. Hope this helped.

I'm on it.

and here's my babies! Maybelline Boo Big Ed Byron

Morning ShelbieCallie! You are so positive it is a joy reading your posts. Glad you like the dailys. I like to read them too. Woofey where are you? Miss you. Mal, how's it going? Dynamo did you get everything back as it should be? Morning all. I have the day off. Lovely to lounge. We've had some amazing sunsets. Hurricane Felix is sending up some occasional rain, not like a hurricane close to us, but still with pouring straight down. The clouds are puffy and illuminous. I love hurricane rains. Our sunsets have been amazing. Everyone have a great day.

Sorry I did not read this sooner. I hope your night got easier. I'm doing some "head work" as I call it. Meaning that I did not get to a point of 200+ pounds overweight by the occasional snack. My food urges came by way of examples at home I saw growing up, addiction in my family which I inherited. For me, I got to a point where I had some candy and I had another type of sweet on another occasion. I saw myself moving in the direction of the occasional splurge. I know that as a sign I'm eventually going to slide into the habit of reaching for those things that are unhealthy as a means of coping with whatever is wrong in my life and searching for that feeling of "high" I would get when I consumed enough carbs to put my body into that sluggish, sedated food feeling I would go for. Just like an alcoholic, like someone craving a smoke, ...it's really no different. If you get to a point where it really is a struggle, I can offer that I went into therapy and it is definately helping. I specifically sought out counseling for addiction. I also was put on medication therapy to ease the process a little (for me I was really having an emotionally hard time) I hope this helps and I do hope your night went better!

Thought for the day ~ ISOLATION ~ :~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~: "A great hope fell, you heard no noise, The ruin was within. Oh, cunning wreck that, told no tale And let no witness in!" Emily Dickinson :~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~: When I was young, I was unable to negotiate situations that were too big for me to understand. I went within and hid. I lost hope and was filled with despair. I soothed myself with food that was always there for me. In time, I felt so isolated that I felt completely separate from the human race. As I recover, it is important for me to use the tools of the program which reconnect me with other people. This connection tells me that I am okay. I always have a choice to isolate or connect. Today I choose to connect.

Welcome LSzeliga. I checked out Lap Band in Tampa, St. Petersburg, and in Ocala. Price was crazy. In St. Pete, 24,000. Are you going to Colorado by way of Tampa International Airport ( TIA) or Orlando? I can tell you a good hotel across from Crown where the Lap Band is done. The Holiday Inn Select in Parker. Tell them you are coming for medical procedure and you get a discount ( I think it is $10 off ). Best of luck and good wishes to you. I will be in Colorado the same day, Oct. 11. I will see Dr. K for a fill. Patty

Great ideas! Noah's Mom greetings! I am a recovering claustrophobic who still has panic disorder. I can recommend that you ask your doctor for a sedative, I take Klonzipam, starting a few days before your flight. ( you may not need it but I'm assuming you are like me and might hide in the bathroom vomiting for an hour like me) Give yourself a treat for arriving to the airport. The bookstore/gift shop just before the shuttle to gateside has some neat stuff and there are also several shops at gateside. Break up the flight into increments. Home to the airport=reward, to flightside=reward. I can recommend going over to the security check to the left rather than the line. I found I simply couldn't stand that long without pain ( I am 300 + ) You can also get a wheelchair at the front of the airport and instead of having to walk the entire way, you can be pushed through security (you will have to stand, take off shoes, etc.,) but will then be pushed to your gate and will be first on and when you get to California, last off. As you pass by the flight attendant, ask for a seat extender, they are in the first overhead compartment that they use for supplies. (my sister is a flight attendant) In the air, I take a camera and photograph the sky. It's just so awesome, absolutely amazing...all the clouds, the colors, fascinating. If you have a digital camera, all the better. Burn a CD of your favorite music or take your favorite CD. My CD had 1 hour worth of tunes and I also had loaded the MP3 player with music. Things to remember: Statistically, you have a greater chance of getting struck by lightning than being in a plane crash. Statistically, more accidents happen within three miles of your own home than anywhere else. Hyperventilating from anxiety does not mean you are "gonna die" and in fact, if you are breathing you are very much alive. Pick up a favorite magazine and read it over the second half of the flight. Take a nap. Enjoy a glass of wine. It helps you to relax. Depending on your airline, you might be lucky and have a screen in front of you to watch a movie. Best of luck. I want to share one last thing Noah's Mom, I had my surgery in Denver! So I flew from TIA four hours to Denver with a one hour layover in Atlanta for my surgery. I go back to Denver for fills and am going back in October. My reward is seeing parts of the country I otherwise wouldn't be seeing (one of the rare positive aspects of being obese...the Lap Banding). I almost went to Mexico (where I am told the accomidations are great) but went to Denver instead. Check out the shopping there. Flying home was a breeze. The pain medicine knocked me out! Patty

~ SELF-KNOWLEDGE ~ :~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~: "The world we have created is a product of our thinking. It cannot be changed without changing our thinking." Albert Einstein :~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~: The world I created before finding the Twelve Steps of recovery was a world in which I had no responsibility. Everything bad in my life was someone else’s fault: my parents’, my husband’s, society’s, and, when there was no one else to blame, it was God’s fault. As I worked Step 4, I learned that I had been a part of all of these things for which I blamed others. I learned that I had defects of character that kept me from taking part in my life. As I recognized these defects, I asked my Higher Power to remove them, and that gradually happened. One of the things I had tried to do for many years was bury my feelings of grief and pain. I seemed to have managed that fairly well, but in doing so, I had also buried all the other emotion. I no longer took enjoyment in anything. My child’s smile evoked no feeling and I felt no pride in anything I did. I felt none of the love that others gave to me. As I started dealing with the painful feelings, the positive emotions emerged as well. The promise the Big Book speaks of became true for me: I no longer regretted the past nor wished to shut the door on it. I was able to feel my hurt and grief. Now I am also able to feel love and happiness. I have learned how to change my thinking through the process of working these wonderful Steps. .......................................................................................

Happy Saturday everyone. Posting these great thoughts on friendship: FRIENDSHIP ~ :~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~: The ideal friendship is between good people, and people who share the same virtues. Leading a good life for the sake of friends, is the utmost of friendship itself. Aristotle :~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~: When I first came into recovery I had no idea how to be a friend. I had thought that people liked me because of what I "did" for them, what I gave them, how nice I was to them. It never ever occurred to me that being a friend could mean taking care of myself ... holding fast to my program regardless ... being gently honest to others in all things ... being loyal to my group ... being true to my program and to myself. But the part that escaped me the most was that there were those who counted me as a friend just because I am. ONE DAY AT A TIME . . . I will be a friend by being loyal to myself, my program and my ideals. :~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~

Michelle here's to thinking of you... and to your son...wishing him...

Welcome Colorado. I only know Dr. K and have nothing but good to say about this methodical, precise and caring man. I've never had a doctor call me back so quickly. He has an interest in your recovery overall. Dynamo before I squeel with delight even more, I must see the coffee shop, the installation of your work and all that goes with it. I must get more details from you so I can see it and photograph it when I am in Denver. My kinda gal. How was that date? Friends I remain determined to hold on to my recovery with all my might. When I realized that some of the pain at the heart of my eating was maladjusted thinking and that I witnessed the WHY of it with what happened by my sister and mother, it was like a GONG bell went off in my head. It most definately was a mirror held in front of my face and enlightening is the least of what I am feeling with epiphany being at the top of my emotions list. I am slowing coming around to the realization that my life must change. Caller ID is on my list of things to purchase. Right now I am still not answering my phone at all. I am not taking any calls. I will on my cell phone but basically I am "cocooning" and have been doing so since Sunday. I am also loving myself by going to that new Greek restaurant each day, after work, and enjoying one of the many amazing salads they have. I take the leftovers home to my very happy husband who comes in from work and enjoys munching on a little something. I can tell I have lost weight and will find out how much this afternoon when I see my M.D. In essence, I hit the door at home about 3 PM and don't leave until the next day. This is incredibly healing. I can't say NEVER but unless my sister gets in recovery, I don't see us having any type of relationship. She is my only sister and the only sibling I have. But frankly, it is not worth it. Maintaining any type of contact with her extracts far too much energy, leaves me feeling more sad than glad, and I end up trying to recover from her visits for several weeks. As for my mother, she is a master at manipulation. She lies and attempts to cover it up by portraying herself as being the innocent and naive one. This is a game, a manipulation technique that she uses. She has raised me from a child using a shame based guilt method of influence. There is a time and a place for such things but her means have had a harmful impact on me. Enough. So as I continue on this journey, I am left with a lovely meditation sent to me by my OA recovery person. I will share it with you. Continued successes and wonderous baby steps! Patty ............................................................................. ~ STAYING PRESENT ~ :~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~: "First you need only look." Anne Hillman :~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~: My disease of compulsive overeating is fueled by my regrets of the past and my fears of the future. The more I try to rewrite the past, (which of course I cannot do); the more I try to devise a future plan, (which usually does not come to pass), the less I am present for my life. I learn much from my three-year-old son. Sometimes when running to get a ball, he suddenly stops to look at an unusual insect he sees on the ground. His life flows and he abides by this pattern. He follows his heart and is "there" for life. When I consciously stay present for life -- when I savor each moment and stay with my feelings -- I am alive and living. In the present there is no worry, no fear, no regrets. ONE DAY AT A TIME . . . I ask my Higher Power to help me to stay present for my life, to stay with whatever is happening at any given moment. I feel feelings. I am spontaneous and life is exciting and inspired. :~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~ "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference." Recovery Meditations ~ One Day at a Time is mailed out each day by subscription as a service to those working a Twelve Step recovery program. Please feel free to pass on to others §«*´`´`*:»§«*´`´`*:»§«*´`´`*:»§«*´`´`*:»§«*´`´`*:»§«*´`´`*:»§