Lap_dancer

And its all right with me. Now, what am I going to do about it? ... When I stopped living in the problem and began living in the answer the problem went away. ... From that moment on, I have not had a single compulsion to coe (drink). AA BB pg 449, 3rd edition. ... ... ... This concept is repeated over and over again in the big book. ... Hmmm, wonder why??? ... When I got to this program, I was entrenched in the problem. ... I had been taught from childhood that if I have a problem; find out who caused it and shoot them. ... This was a HUGE change for me. ... My first reaction to problems was always to obsess about why. ... I thot I had to know why a problem existed to resolve it. ... Long b4 OA, my kids doctor told me that we didn't need to know why they were allergic to treat the symptoms. ... The solution was the same. ... This is true of my coe. ... I spent over 30 yrs asking why, and all I got was deeper into the compulsion. ... Asking why kept me in the problem. It distracted me from living in the solution. ... I lived in paralysis thru analysis. ... OA taught me to utilize not analyze. ... When I got to oa, there were lots of sane ppl saying to me, so ur coe, now what r u gonna do? ... Well, I was not only confused; I was clueless. ... I was shocked to find out that I didn't need to learn why I ate, to stop coe. ... The miracle paradox for me is that when I live in the solution; if GOMU (God Of My Understanding) thinks that it's any of my business, God will give me the wisdom to know why. ... This wisdom only comes to me in hindsight and not always. ... Sometimes it just isn't necessary for me to know. ... I am on a need to know basis with GOMU & it's all right with me!!! ... I appreciate the knowledge that god has given me, and I gotta tell u that all the knowledge in the world isn't gonna stop me from coe. ... The only thing that stops my coe is a power greater than me. ... The first hundred times I read the above passage, I was really jealous. ... As a relapse survivor, I can assure you that my coe is not cured. ... All I have is a daily reprieve based on my spiritual fitness. ... Every time I read OA literature, I am reminded of this truth. ... Every time I live in the solution, I do not have a single compulsion to coe. ... As a relapse survivor, I have many times when my focus has been on the problem (old tapes hard to retape-not impossible). ... Since I have adopted daily focus on the soul-ution, I have found myself living in it. ... So my question is this, are u living in the problem or the solution? ...

Hi Longhorn: My mindset is this. I am a self pay so I can pick who I want to go to and where. I researched, found this doctor to be the most skilled, the most impressed patients and who can NOT like Colorado? (I'm from flat Florida). I flew to Colorado because of my impression with him, his staff and feedback from others. His price sealed the deal for me. This doctor is worth the trip ( IMHO) He is methodical, patient, and when you journey far, he seems all the more sensative to working with you and your schedule and the distance issue. He calls you back. >>>He calls you back! Not his staff, HE will call you back. He is internet savvy and my consulation was done with him conference via web and phone. My kinda guy! My experience as for flying back for fills has been one of mixed emotions. I wish I could go there every month but that isn't a reality for me. So I go when I can and am going next month. I should have gone last week but I have too much happening right now. This man is a surgeon. If you have had any experience with what they call "the surgeon's touch" you can relate to what I will say. I went locally for a fill in July. This was above my experience with Dr. K filling my port. The nurse practitioner who is trained to do band fills used a machine to radiate my stomach so she could see the port and what she was doing. So she had a device that let her see where my port was. Despite that, she inserted the needle and was moving it to find my port. Did she find it? She looked at my face to see if I was okay. I wondered if she was looking for me to be in pain. Contrast that to doctor K's visit and fill. He took the needle, one time, hit the port boom I sat up and we began adjusting. He simply knows by feel what he is doing. I trust him as a doctor. When I had other medical problems with my stomach and my own physicians office wasn't getting a handle on it, I called him. He called me back. He made recommendations and I did them...guess what? Three days later the problem was resolved! When I describe doctors who are "Healers" as in they love medicine for the healing of humans...that's him. You can sense that about him. No question is a stupid question. I never felt rushed. His staff is friendly and if they don't have the answer they will find out and get back to you. Hope this helps. I highly recommend him. Email me if you have anymore questions. Patty

I hope you all are doing fantastic. For myself, I gave the gift of decorating for fall. I moved some furniture and redesigned the layout of this room. It feels new and fresh. I forced myself to get back into more craft elements of art. From that I created some very interesting things that are fall related. Sometimes even joyous things are forced. I am teetering on weight between the same five pounds. I know I can eat more but am now on a cycle of I'M STARVING...to the next day of being so full I cannot seem to eat much. November cannot get here soon enough. Other than that, I continue my head work....therapist is awesome...I'm really getting into my head on WHY I do some of the things I do. This is ugly stuff and not at all fun to deal with. BUt I know from experience it gets worse before it gets better but the BETTER is always amazing. Peace, hugs and joy to you all. Patty

I was full of excuses: “I can’t start a food plan. Won't it be the same as a diet? I’m a free spirit! I don't like such restrictions! If I can’t do something perfectly, why should I even start? I do it perfectly, or I don’t do it at all! I have gone too far to ever go back to being anywhere near healthy. I don’t have time to plan my Food. I am young. I have plenty of time to worry about taking off the weight!” These were my favorite excuses. Underlying all the excuses was the fear of failure. I did not know that true failure comes about by not ever having tried. My life circumstances never got better by ignoring my problems with food. Ignoring my condition began to complicate every aspect of my life. This moment I have a choice. I dare to choose in the next few moments even one small thing that I can do to make my life better or more healthful. One day at a time... If I cannot think of anything, I will pause and ask my Higher Power to help me learn to choose.

LONGINGS <B>“The great question - which I have not been able to answer - is, 'What does a woman want?'” Sigmund Freud <B> All my life I have been searching for what I “really want”. I tried sports, different jobs, friends, lovers and traveling. I even tried therapy. None of these ever worked. Once I had what I thought I wanted, I didn't want it anymore. The urge to want -- to long for the best things -- was an inner, unsatisfied hunger. Excessive food became my sedating drug. When using food, I was numb to my longings. I felt it was impossible to fill this void. It seemed I would never know or receive what I wanted. The 12 step program of recovery taught me that I could have anything I wanted -- if God gave it to me. When I stopped wanting everything so badly, and I surrendered to be His child and employee, I learned that what I'd thought of as “wanting”, was actually what I was “missing”. I missed everything important in my life, so I wanted everything. It was never enough ~ never the right thing or the right person. I felt that even I was "wrong" because I was without love, patience, tolerance or companionship. In OA I found all of that. With God's help, I now have those things in my life every day when I ask for it and accept it as part of me today. One day at a time... I no longer want so much, and I am thankful for what I receive. I am receiving more than I have ever dreamed of. BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBB The Fear of Failure <B>“It is not because things are difficult that we do not dare; it is because we do not dare that things are difficult.” Seneca </B></B> </B>

Hi Friends! I'm making up for lost time here with several meditations from Overeaters anonymous. HONESTY <B>“Honesty is the first chapter of the book of wisdom.” Thomas Jefferson Throughout my ups and downs in life and in working the Steps, I have discovered the importance of complete honesty. No matter what I feel or think, being honest about it with myself, others and God helps me to stay in a healthier state of physical, emotional and spiritual wellness. When I first started in the program, the idea of telling my Higher Power how I really felt was foreign to me. Sure I asked for help and “explained” what I was going through, but I didn’t often pour my heart out. I didn’t want to offend or burden God with complaints or weakness. With the help of the Steps, I have let go of the formal prayers I learned in my youth and I more often tell God the way my life really is. Sometimes that includes sharing my negative attitude, crying, or just conversing casually with God. My Higher Power is full of acceptance and understanding and is pleased every time I share my honest thoughts and feelings with Him. The years of denying and burying my feelings have resulted in an automatic reaction to not allow myself to feel or think straight in lots of situations. If I can take the time to identify exactly where I am and then honestly admit that to God and others (when needed), I have made progress. Sharing my true self with a sponsor or in a meeting helps, too. It lifts the blinders from my eyes so that I can see my reality and proceed from there. If I hide from God, fool myself or deceive others, I rob myself of honesty which is the foundation of my progress towards serenity and wisdom. One day at a time... For today I will embrace my reality, the good and the bad. I will honestly admit my thoughts and feelings to myself, to another person and to God. </B>

Walgreens-red liquid in the pain medication section.

I found this on the web Around 35% of women are super-tasters, compared with just 15% of men, US research has shown. The study found some people are born with more taste buds than others, meaning they are better able to distinguish between tastes. While those with too few taste buds may not be able to tell the difference between cheap plonk and fine wines, those with more taste buds are more likely to become professional chefs or wine tasters. Now there is a taste bud test people can do at home, based on the Yale University research. Pink dots To test your taste buds, you need some blue food colouring, a piece of paper with a 7mm-wide hole punched through it, and a magnifying glass. Swab some of the food colouring onto the tip of your tongue. The tongue will take up the dye, but the papillae, tiny structures that house the taste buds, will stay pink. Super-tasters perceive all tastes as more intense than do tasters and non-tasters Professor Linda Bartoshuk, Yale University Put the piece of paper on the front part of the tongue and, using the magnifying glass, count how many pink dots are inside the hole. Fewer than 15 papillae mean you are an insensitive "non-taster", between 15 and 35 indicates an average "taster" and over 35 papillae then you are a "super-taster". The US research, led by Professor Linda Bartoshuk, suggested around a quarter of the population are non-tasters, 50% tasters, and the rest super-tasters. Laboratory tests used a solution of 6-propylthiouracil, a thyroid medication known as PROP. Some people noticed nothing, others found the taste bitter, and others found it extremely unpleasant. But PROP is a prescription-only drug, so the researchers suggest using food colouring for an at-home test. Education Professor Bartoshuk said: "Super-tasters perceive all tastes as more intense than do tasters and non-tasters." Catherine Lowe, managing editor of Wine magazine which published details of the research, told BBC News Online: "People are recognised as being able to taste differently. "Some people are very, very good and others are just average, so we wanted to look at the science behind it." But she said it was still possible for would-be wine tasters to educate their palate. "You can learn. But for some people, it is easier than for others."

I take room temp clear fluids and if I've had a PB I give my stomach a rest. (it will typically swell after this)

Don't beat yourself up. Yeah, it's that easy. It's called the discovery that I can eat things that are still bad for me and it happens to the best of us. I was just as shocked to learn the same and equally plaqued with guilt and disgust. I think that was why Dr. K had talked about people who still found ways to eat the things they weren't suppose to before my surgery. I told myself to kick it back a notch, regroup, analyze what I did wrong...and you did too...waited to long to eat...yes. That is my downfall too. You did the right thing post that chicken frenzy. KFC evil den.

THANKS. I don't drink soda that much but heard it was a no no. I couldn't really figure out why so...the acid? not sure if there is a chemical reaction in the stomach but I'm getting the bigger picture now.

AWWWW!! Way to go mommy! Congratulations to your June bundle.

Great talk with Marilyn and I'm in for November 9th. I'm also seeing Paula. I WILL make this appt. nothing stopping me. Did anyone meet the new bariatric coordinator? "Natalie". Friends never discount the appetizer menu. I do this at Chillis and a couple of my favorite haunts. I add to that some soup and typically I am good to go. (Mango tea at Chillis for that Miami feel...yum) OA thought for the day: ~ PATIENCE ~ :~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~: Patience is the key to paradise. Turkish proverb :~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~:. .:~*~: I used to be the queen of the "quick fix." ... Anything I wanted done had to be done today, if not yesterday. ... I'd even do a job myself because I couldn't wait for someone else to do it in their time. ... I ended up chasing my tail most days, & trying to run the show myself, simply because I couldn't wait. ... Even all the many diets that I went on had to get results fast or they weren't worth their salt. ... Small wonder, being the compulsive person that I was, that when I wanted to eat, there was no such thing in my vocabulary as delayed gratification. ... When I wanted it, I had to have it right then. ... Imagine my horror at coming into the program & seeing that people who had been in the fellowship for years were still there. ... Surely they should have gotten it right by now & graduated from this program? ... I soon learned that this is not something we graduate from. ... Recovery as well as abstinence happen in God's time, not mine. ... I've had to learn that recovery is a journey; not a destination. ... Progress can sometimes be painfully slow; the rewards for those who wait for the miracle is a gift I wouldn't want to be without. ... Not only am I offered freedom from compulsive eating; also sanity & serenity to live my life the way I was intended to do. ... ONE DAY AT A TIME ... Even when progress seems slow, I will keep coming back & working the program to the best of my ability, knowing that recovery will come to me if I wait. ...

- H.A.L.T.=Don' t get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired.

Outstanding Mal!!!!!!!! Ohhhh Ohhhh Ohhh.better than I ever imagined. Thank you so much. 1987 is too long to wait since I've seen fall leaves~~ I called Dr. K's office on Tuesday and got Mary. Marilyn was out of the office. She took a message for me, haven't heard back just yet. I'm scheduling for November now. I'm determined to make it this time. Can someone tell me what it is not so good to drink soda? I'm not that into it anyway but was wondering.

Hello Friends! Great to see some of you posting and to read the news on you. Mal, I'm looking forward to the photos. I can tell you the best host I have found for my photos is to join Photobucket (free). They are very user friendly and you can upload your photos and it converts them to codes that you can then "copy" and "paste into the body of a message box here on Lapbandtalk. The code you want to copy is the "Vbulletin" code..or "IML" code. **No worries about the weight. You feel good, right?** For the record I think that people who are not familiar with the Lap Band get it confused with gastric bypass. They think we are all going to lose 100 pounds in 6 months. I have always felt this is probably one of the most unhealthy things to do to yourself not to mention the the "fat" has to come out somewhere. I can only think of two exits in the body. Can you imagine??? (((OUCH)))) :heh::faint: I'm ready to catch a Roller Derby match next time I hit Denver. Who's with me on this one? I check in here most of the time and sometimes do not post. I want you all to know that your support, SHARING of SELF and the time you take to do that benefits me so much. Sharing with my friends here some quality thoughts for the day!! From Overeaters Anonymous Here are some things that I've learned since coming into OA... I have a disease and it's not my fault, and better yet, it's not anyone's fault. I've been given a lifesaver in the name of OA and it's up to me to grab hold for dear life and not let go. I am powerless over what others say and do, yet 100% responsible for my reaction and subsequent action. If I have a problem, and I eat over it, I have two problems. I have a Higher Power who will listen to me and give me what I need at any moment. I have a Higher Power who will give my gifts beyond my wildest dreams, but only if and when I surrender my self-will. If I make food an option, it will be the only option. It's not our sponsor's who keep us abstinent, it's our sponsorees, and I can't give away what I don't have. I am perfectly imperfect, and I like it that way. I can set boundaries for my recovery and the important people in my life will still love me. ( my own addition to this is: and if they truly love me they will respect my boundaries) Time passes and things will get done whether I orchestrate every move or not.<< and the control freak inside of me just slapped me upside the head Holding on to things is a quick way to the fork, so as soon as I've worked through what I can, I have to let it go. Forgiving does not mean condoning and to forgive someone is to release their control over my emotions. Powerless does not mean helpless. I can say 'no' simply because I don't want to do something, without all of the excuses attached. I can say 'yes' and still limit what it is that I'm able and willing to do. Those who have harmed me are sick in their own way. Unconditional love does not hurt. Anonymity means that we are all equal in the fellowship and that I can speak freely, without judgment. etc. etc. I hope these lifted you like they did me.

I'd like to start a dialogue on the psychological and emotional post-op emotions after banding. What happens when we are no longer able to mask our problems with food? Discuss. ........... She had bypass but relevent to me was this portion of something Star Jones said. from Glamour, September 2007. "Getting Over Myself" An interview with Star Jones. Page 312, "The Night Before the surgery" The night before the surgery, I convinced myself that afterward everything would be fine and I could get on with the rest of my life. I had no idea that before I could move on, I would have to face the present and the past as they were, not as I wished them to be. A few years ago, I wrote, "Living in truth means living in confrontation." I admit that when asked about my obvious weight loss over the past four years, I was intentionally evasive. Lying was never an option for me, so I called it a "medical intervention" which was true, but it was really a pathetic attempt to tell only the truth I could handle at the time. Although I'd shared my decision with friends, family and my collegues at The View, I wasn't ready to invite the world into my process for a number of reasons: First, I didn't know if the surgery would work. I had never stuck to a diet or committed to exercise for more than a month, and I had spent my entire adult life telling everyone that I was fine with the way I looked. I also never thought I'd have to explain it. I actually thought that I could say, "None of your business," and people would say "Okay, she wants to remain private." If that isn't evidence of someone not living in truth, I don't know what is. Everything about me was already so public (mostly my own doing --talk about dumb!) so of course everyone wanted to know what I had done. I was also terrified someone would have a tragic result after emulating me without making an informed decision with her doctor. But the complete truth is, I was scared of what people might think of me. I was afraid to be vulnerable, and ashamed at not being able to get myself under control without this procedure. ( cont' in Glamour)

Hello Friends: Dynamo thank you!! ( a cyber hug your way) Good luck with the taxes. Sharing good thoughts today One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, “My son, the battle is between two wolves.” “One is Evil. It is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority and ego. The other is Good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.” The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf wins?” The old Cherokee simply replied, “The one you feed.”

Yes, I'm saying that I won't be there in October. Will most likely make it in November. Getting out the planner and seeing what Dr. K has open. Can we say ESCAPE? I am so sad I am not coming. My card is maxed and I am bleeding out money not to mention my daughter called and she is going through a female scare at the moment. My inner warning system is saying ...finally sign...time to postpone.

Unless you are experiencing PAIN I would just relax and give it a few days. That's the best thing you can do. Check yourself in the morning.

WOW!! Anita you look awesome!!!! I adjusted my photobucket to decrease the amount of photos I had and I must have taken out my this is now photo....have to fix it later. Friends I have some not so grand news. I have to delay my trip to Denver. It's all about money. I have a state conference the week after my previously scheduled fill which is in Sarasota and $$$$$ the hotel $$$ and registration are $$$ more than anticipated. Add to that unexpected occurances and it adds up to a minus. ... I'll let you all know what date I get. I'm calling Marilyn on Monday.

Goodmorning Friends! It was great to read your updates. I'm glad you all enjoyed the photos. I have more and last night was a blazing glory of fantasy. Only got a few in my photobucket from yesterday so will show the rest of them to you later this evening when I get home. "At any rate, my question is this it's been a week now and I still have diarrhea and although I've gone back to work, I am still very tired. Is this normal????" --wrkl8nod8 Welcome WRKL8nod8! Glad to have you coming out to us. To answer your question, "normal" is relevant to the individual. I can tell you that I did have those symptoms and just went with it. For three weeks I was fairly tired. Never hesitate to call Dr. K. He is wonderful to call you back and take his time. ( I sometimes find myself dismayed that he is so very patient and methodical with us all as I rarely see this with medical professionals. They typically seem rushed.) Metimusal powder, orange flavor, in my drinking water, really helped the diarhea for me. I wish I had known about this tip years ago. Good luck. LEAVES!! OH MAN WILL I GET THERE SOON ENOUGH? I cannot wait to take tons of photos. I laughed along with you littleroo1 as my photobucket files max at 1000 and I have nine files with two being full. The odds are there. Can you imagine being Annie Levowitz? ((wow)) I will be there in Colorado in exactly three weeks from today!!! The only commitment I have is with Dr. K on the 11th at 11 AM. My plans are to take my two cameras and head for the hills or head where the color is. can't wait to see you all. Tell me where THE GATHERING is. How many do we expect? Seeing you all soon...THREE WEEKS FROM TODAY!!!! My cameras are a Kodak Power Shot 5.0 and a Canon 8.0 (model numbers escape me at the moment). I will have them with me when I come west. FEELING SPUNKY! Catch you all later. ((patty))

Random photos I've taken. Atticus-Sparticus, my daughter's cat A FEW OF MY FAVORITE THINGS...what are some of yours???? HALLOWEEN is my favorite Holiday!!! VINTAGE ART/PHOTOGRAPHY For Mal and Michelle........... My BOO My son-in-law the soldier: Called "Red, White and Shawn"

I haven't been accessing my OA dailys because as some of you know, a relative compromised my confidentiality on that site, as a result I simply do not trust it anymore so I don't participate in that website..BUT the web is a big place and my therapist guided me to another site that is very supportive and much quieter. The members, like myself, are recovering from addiction issues and emotional garbage. The drug I was newly placed on was to help the addiction craving. I felt no different but the thoughts of eating something I shouldn't have (what I call the creepy crawleys) faded quickly. It's with joy I can share this next news. I have stayed away from the toxicity in my extended family and find myself in a healthier mindset. Working the 12 Steps of OA I came to a place of forgiveness that made me realize that it is not easy to forgive someone who does not want forgiveness. Through reading and counseling I came to the RAW discovery that much of my life was a creation of what I HOPED would some day be the support and strength gained from loved ones. I wept long and hard for several days when the train left the station and I realized, this never was nor never would be, a reality in my life. Who would you pick if you could CHOOSE your family? A new process for me was "Family of Choice". I found two women who have agreed with giggles and amusement, to become my new sisters. I have one older sister who is loving and kind and knows my walk. She calls me and sends me cards and emails and we went out together a few days ago and she brougth me a gift, a limoge box that is tiny and delicately painted. She shared she has secretly wanted a sister because she never had one, only had brothers. My other sister is closer to my age but still older. She too is very supportive, loving, non-judgemental and calls me with a quick voice of support. I have a brother/cousin who is Cuban and lives near Miami!!! My dear friend agreed to be my cousin/brother and I am smiling just thinking about all that he is and brings to my life. I have a MOM figure as well. This woman is a southern delight (like my biological mother). I have a history with this woman so the trust is there. She talks to me like a daughter and her care and love come through. She has daughters of her own so her experience with girls is a pattern she is familiar with. I have gained wonderful advice from her which comes in the form of directness and not a complaint on how horrible my father was. My friends this experience has been positively liberating. If any of you suffer from a toxic relationship in your family I would encourage you to consider distancing yourself from that which you cannot trust and that which hurts you. We would hope that all people experience unconditional love from their family but realistically this isn't so and it can have horrible consequences on us. Still walking this walk, still doing headwork and still on my way to a better life in a better place. ((Patty))

The joys of a new camera and a beautiful Florida sunset that was breathtaking to watch unfold from my computer chair. I will share these lovely photos as I say HELLO friends! A lot of catching up to do but first to acknowledge the newbies here and those who are in recovery as I type this. WELCOME and grand healing to you! The journey has just begun! Photo of my son. My new camera and continued expansion of this hobby has been enriching. .......................................................... I will see my Colorado posse in October and am scheduled to fly-in Oct. 10th and flying out the 13th. Michelle...got any art shows happening on Friday the 12th? I'm totally game. RED ROBIN Name the place and I'll be there smiling. Want to first share basic info then another post with more info. Basic info is I'm doing alright. I had a scare with medication. I swelled up like a balloon, drug interaction, trip to the hospital for tests to check heart status (Conjestive Heart Failure...NOT) So I am glad of this but was out of work for two days while drugs flushed my system. We did change drugs all is better. (but we should exchange phone numbers in case one of us suddenly goes MIA) See the next post for more updated info.