sabina25

My Story
Well, where should I start.  I have always been "big".  I was always the tallest in school and grew to be 5ft 10, I have always been stocky and remember having to weigh ourselves in Science and read our results out, I lied and said I was 59kg when really I was 63kg, but I was still the heaviest by 6kg.  How I wish I could be 63kg now, but at the time I was mortified.  My mum took it upon herself to introduce me to a slimming club when I was 13, I had to count my carbohydrates but I got asked to leave because I kept eating them... I have a thing for bread.  I come from a family of 7 and we were not allowed to leave the table until we had finished our meal and money was tight and usually consisted of meat and potatoes and plenty of bread to fill us up.  When I moved out at 18 I thought it was great that I could eat what I wanted without anyone looking over my shoulder and checking what I was having, I had just had my daughter and was around 14 stone at the time, I lived just near a shop and my nightly routine consisted of buying crisps, a chocolate bar and a can of soda for when she went to sleep and I would settle down in front of the TV and munch.  As the years have passed my eating habits have never changed really.  I have been on many, many diets and manage to lose several stone then something will happen to flick the switch back off in my brain... my last major weight loss was in 2007, I managed to lose over 50lb, I felt great, I had loads of compliments and even managed to chat a bloke up in a bar and ended up in a relationship with him.  I went on holiday soon after that and the diet was out of the window... I planned to start again when I got back but just couldn't get in the right frame of mind.  I quickly got pregnant with my new partner and all the weight I had lost went back on plus some... I had a C-Section which left my stomach in a HUGE mess and the relationship ended soon after my son was born in 2008.  I have no excuses why I am as big as I am.  I do think it has something to do with genetics but also what I put in my mouth surely doesn't help.  I wish I loved salad and healthy food but I don't.  I am booked in to have a Lap Band in 7 weeks time and realised that the Band is not a magic wand, I am still going to have to work at it but hopefully it will be the right tool to take me all the way.  I don't want to be a skinny mini, but at a weight where I can do things with my children.  I want to go on fairground rides and know the bars will come down on my lap.  I want to go on an airplane and not worry that I am spilling over onto the person next to me.  I want to go horseriding without being persecuted for animal cruelty.  I want to go skiing and know that I will be able to stand back up.  I want to do a parachute jump and know that I am under the maximum weight restriction.  I want to stop having backaches.  I want to stop thinking about food and letting it rule my life.  I want my mum to be proud of me and stop going on about my weight and clothes in the BIG shop.  I want to be able to go shopping with my normal sized work mates without making excuses to do something else.  I want my daughter to stop getting called at school for having a fat mum.  Strike that.. I don't WANT these things.. I NEED them.  My name is Sabina Marie Yates, I am 34, single mother of 2, I am 22 stone (308lb) ... and I am about to undertake a whole new adventure.