grnidchkee

I have always been the cute chubby girl. Then I became the pretty faced heavy girl. After having my third child, I was big. I looked at food I'd gain weight. I'd eat to hide my pain or if i was happy. I love food. Like most of everyone I have had my share of heartaches and disappointments. I'll be brief, my first born son passed away when he was 18 months old (medical complications), my step son passed away (he had cerebral palsy), my parents divorced when i was 15 and my father remarried (I love my step-mom) but the rest of the family won't speak to him anymore, its very hard for me to be in the middle, and other crap but that's the big stuff. So, for me hiding in my food felt so good at the time. I've tried all kinds of diets Jenny Craig, weight watchers (too many times too count), Atkins, lots of different pills...I would lose 40-50lbs the most and then I felt like it gave me the license to eat just 1 treat..... well that only led to many more rewards for myself....  Sometimes I wonder if I'm trying to sabatoge my own success because then I would have to maintain a new figure?....hmmm I don't know...The breaking point came when I had seen pictures of myself at my son's birthday party...which of course was a water slide n swimming b-day party.I don't want my son to be ashamed off me or other kids to say things about me to him. I also don't want him to think that eating like I did was normal. I was so disgusted with myself. My husband of course said he loved me no matter how I looked but I didn't love myself. I was thinking about gastric bypass surgery (which was the last resort for me, I knew some people that had the surgery and I knew it was an extreme) when my Mom told me about a commercial she had seen about the Lap-Band. I went online and looked for Dr.s in Ohio. I think God had a hand in me finding my Dr. because he is great. I went to an informational meeting. I was so nervous my insurance wouldn't pay for this procedure (but I am so thankful and blessed to say my ins. paid for everything but $267). It took about 4 months before I actually had my surgery. It felt like it was never going to happen . I think one of the hardest parts was the 2 week liquid diet. Man was I a mean .......bleep! I felt sorry for my family and friends..LOL! (Oh yeah, I forgot to mention my step-sister was also going through the procedure with me we had our surgeries on the same day. She was 18y/o 309lbs and had high blood pressure).As far as my medical problems they were few. I have PCOS and had trouble conceiving my 3rd child (we used Clomid). I had gestational diabetes with my last baby as well. That's pretty much it. I had my surgery July 14, 2009. It took a few days to recover but I was excited and hopeful. The first couple of weeks were difficult learning how to follow the after surgery diet plan. At first appt. y sis and i learnrd we had diff. size bands. i had a 14 and she had a 10. The first couple of months went ok but I really stopped losing. i learned how to eat with my band i really mean cheating...Well, anyways, We would see the Dr. every 3 months. We started going to his satelite office and he hired a new dr. We loved him right away. He had the surgery 4yrs ago and he knows what we're going through. He, also, called us out on our bad habits no games or excuses. Well, my sis has lost 97lbs. and I've only lost 48lbs. as of May 2010. Very depressing for me. The dr. said he couldn't understand why I had such a big band. He said if i was a foot taller, 30yrs older and diabetic he could see the big band. But he said he wasn't there during surgery so he couldn't argue with my surgery dr. He has now filled my band up to 9.5 and I'm now starting to lose weight. I've lost 6lbs in 10 days. I'm sooo excited!!!!!