Stephanee

Hi Tj...its nice to see a fellow Oklahoman on here! This site has been amazingly helpful in my journey. So, if you ever have any questions, jump on here and ask. You can also feel free to send me a private message. Good luck!

Hopefully, for all of the extra stress you have encountered, your success will be even sweeter! Hang in there though...it all happens the way it is supposed to (may sound weird, but it gets me by!). We are rootin' for ya!

Copngratulations! I think it is normal to have so many mixed feelings about the procedure. Just keep looking at why you are choosing this new lifestyle and stay focused! I started my journey about a month before my actual procedure, and I have not looked back once. Best decision ever and I wish you all the best, too!

I have to lean on Sissy's side a bit on this issue...I was literally 5 pounds away from meeting my insurance's requirements (min BMI of 40 regardless of co-morbidities!--Strict) even though the "national average" medical requirements was min BMI of 35 with Co-morbidities. And to make matters worse, my insurance was running out one month later. I was mortified because the insurance company would not offer any assistance whatsoever. I paid $450 a month for family insurance for many years and never had any other medical issues for them to pay. Anyway, I ended up having to wear heavy shoes (after eating whatever I wanted for a week or two) to my weigh in...but I made it. It is so frustrating to be so close yet feel so far away. Unless you have been in that boat, it is real hard to understand what that person is going through. However, all of us was overweight...doesnt matter by how much, we all know what it feels like. Fact is, we all want to do something about it...so, Ms Sissy...I wish you the best of luck as I would someone who was already qualified for the surgery! Please keep us posted!

So, I had my surgery "eons" ago (in Jan 07!), I had my first fill in Feb, and I need to update my ticker because I am now down to 195 pounds. Which means that I am back down to where I was when I felt extremely confident and sexy. Only this time, I dont have those same feelings. I am wearing the same size clothes I did back then and that really excites me. However, when I happen to pass by a mirror and sneak a peek (before, I would break a leg rushing to find a mirror to check myself out!) and I gasp. Literally, I gasp. I quickly look away in disgust and rush through the store so no one has to see me. Never in my life (except the past year and a half that I spent being really over weight) have I ever had such low self esteem issues and it is really concerning me. I mean, I should really be enjoying being back down to my original size. So why am I spending my time obsessing over "not being thin enough"? Does this mean that I was never really happy with my body before? Will I ever be satisfied with the way I look? Will I ever be thin enough? Has anyone else had these feelings before? :faint:

And Ms Kat...thanks for the tip!

Hey Ms B...have you tried lookin at your old photos? I took the advice of some great people and found a snapshot from 6 months ago....WOW! And you know what? You have lost a LOT more than me, so if I saw a difference, I am sure there is one in you too! Let me know...

lmao, Kye...that is really really funny! Yeah, today, I had another "excuse"...I had to be in court (for the foster children I have) and I missed my morning gym time. Tomorrow is a new day, huh?!

Thanks everyone for your support! It looks like Im def on the right path now.

WoooHoooooo! Yesterday I went to the Dr for my second fill...and he congratulated me on losing 49% of my excess body weight in 3 months. I know I keep saying this, but I swear I am going to get back into the gym. He said walking was an ok exercise but it is time to step it up a notch and work out like I used to (Circuit Training). He felt that I would have lost an even higher percentage if I had just applied myself. Anyway, thought I would get on here and give you guys an update. So, how is everyone else doing?!

Well, Sophrosyne, thank goodness we are both on the right track, huh?! It is amazing how many people say things "out of support" yet it is only a slap in the face. And you really hit a good point on the expectations part. I do have high expectations of myself and where I want to be. I think alot of us women (and men too!) have the same high expectations. I spent alot of time lowering my expectations too...so now that I have hope, my expectations have soared! My ego has soared a lil bit too and I am not ready to rein it in just yet@

Thanks Ms Kat...wow, you have done amazing! To answer your 'question" (sheepishly, of course!): No, I have not been exercising like I used to. I could come up with a long list of excuses, but the answer is still NO. We have a gym membership through my boyfriend's work, so I have access to a gym. I will start taking advantage of it now that my kids (and me too) are no longer sick. I really LOVE to do circuit training and the elliptical machine...so I have not dragged my feet on exercise because of a disdain for it. I actually am excited about getting back into the gym. I do walk alot (especially when shopping!) but my Dr (my appointment was earlier this week) told me to start doing my circuit training, etc. He said that walking simply is not enough if I want to tone my body. And of course, he is right. lol I will look into that thread that you mentioned, so thanks! I do still see a really big person in the mirror and it makes me a lil sad. But everyone on here has given me some great advice that has helped me deal with those feelings. So, thanks a bunch!

Dana...it is so nice to meet you. It's tough isnt it? Having to face what you didnt want to have to face. I am glad that I took that step that you just took the other day. My life really has changed dramatically and the change couldnt have come at a better time. Well, if it had happened a few years ago, that would have been nice too! lol Anyway, I never imagined I would be here, in this position. The funny thing is that I never viewed myself as being emotionally tied to being heavy. But I was...and still am. I just chose to ignore that part. Matter of fact, when they told me that I would need to see a professional therapist, I just scoffed. I went into the appointment and answered the questions how they needed to hear them. Not once did I ever think that I would ever feel bad about myself again. I mean, as long as I was smaller, I couldnt be upset anymore. Boy, was I wrong! The feelings I had really hit me like a ton of bricks. But this site has been so supportive that I have been able to come to terms with my emotions. And believe me, that is really hard to do (for me anyway!). And omg, that pic of your you and your baby...how adorable is that?!?! I have 5 (3 bio and 2 foster) ages 4, 4, 7, 10, and 17. My 10 year class reunion is coming up and I am terrified!!! But I am very relieved that I get to go to the reunion at a much smaller size. Heck, I am just relieved that I convinced myself to go in the first place. This time last year I had full intentions of not going due to my weight. How sad was that?! Anyway, I have added you to my buddy list. I really look forward to talking to you, Dana! Do you know when you are going to have your surgery?

That was one of the most beautiful posts I have EVER seen! Thank you soooo much and you are so right, of course! When I was younger, I too thought I was over weight...and now when I look back at those times, I only needed to lose like 20-30 lbs too! So much wasted time and energy...I wont waste any more, that is for dang sure! So, how are you doing...newly banded and all?! Please let me know!

Thanks, "Twin"...50 pounds is AWESOME!!! You too are at the half way mark, right?! Congrats!

and thanks to everyone's support and advice! You really helped me when I was having a bad week!

Tonya...you are sooooo beautiful! You look amazing, dahhhhhling! It really is nice having someone like you around, and you are in my homestate, too! I went to the Dr yesterday and they told me that I lost 49% of my excess body weight in only 3 months, so I am still glowing from that news! TTYL!

Hang in there Shellz...and even though it is nearly impossible, try not to compare yourself to everyone else. Stay focused on yourself and you will see changes before you know it! In the beginning, the weight dripped off of me. Now it is slower going, around 1 pound a week. It is hard for me because I know how much I lost before...so I understand the frustration. But for many people, frustration equals stress and stress usually equals over eating or eating the wrong foods. So, just keep yer chin up and keep us posted!

Ladies...thank you SO much! I do feel alot better now. Its crazy how emotional I can get because one day, I am excited that a new size fit me and the next day I am in tears because I look puffy. But anyway, thanks alot for the different advice, I really needed it!

Thank You Julie...I have noticed that here lately, I am getting hungrier despite my fill in Feb. When I get hungrier, I have a tendency to eat faster and chew less. I guess I have been lucky enough to not be afflicted with PB'ing. Now that I now what the consequences can be, I will stop this bad habit of mine. Thanks so much! And, oh yeah, I guess it is time for a new fill, huh?!

lol...well, when I said "grab", I didnt say "buy"! I love to take out time once a week or so to try on new clothes, just to see where I am at! I always try on the same pair (same brand, same size, same style) first and then if I notice a difference, I try something new and smaller. Heck, with 5 kiddos at home and a business to run, I dont have time for any other type of entertainment or joy!

Congrats and keep up the good work! For me, it is really nice to be able to go into a store, grab a pair of pants, and not have to silently yell in anger in the fitting room! The other day, my sister had me try on a skinny sized 14 capris. I thought she was being cruel but when they actually fit without an army helping me put them on, I was beaming the whole day!

I know the def of PB'ing, but what in the heck causes it?! I was banded in Jan and have never had this experience...too bad, from what I hear it sounds like fun...hehe. Anyway, I keep hearing that it will happen at least once and Im still "waiting". Is my band not working since I have not PB'ed?! And again, what causes it because I want to do everything I can to avoid this experience!

I am really relieved to hear from all of you. I will def work on my attitude. Tomorrow is my first day back in the gym and although I am nervous, I am more excited than anything! I did look at my pics that I took before my surgery. I will spend tonight taking some new pics so I can do a real comparison. Again, thanks guys!

Okay, so I have done really good so far and I have lost 32 pounds (I need to update my lil ticker thing!). However, I am finding it harder and harder to control my appetite. I get hungrier faster and I feel like I need to eat more than 1 cup of food at a time. My doctor is very adament that I dont snack and keep to my three cups of food a day. I know that I need a fill but the Dr had to reschedule my fill appointment and now I have to wait well over a week now. I informed his office that I am having a hard time but I didnt get any help. So, the question(s) I have are: Is it ever okay to snack? Is it ever okay to eat more than 1 cup at a time? Im frustrated at this point because I have to have extra energy since I am starting to work out AND I am opening my own business. The last two days has been about pulling up carpet and laying tile, and Im exhausted even though I barely did any hard work. So, I have no energy and Im running on fumes. Any help will be greatly appreciated!!!