kimmom

Hello, didnt know who else to talk to since I have kept my band a secret from the ones who I knew whould not be supportive which is most of my family . My parents are wonderful and fully support me and my husband has also been good which is why this really hurt my feelings. I chose not to tell my father in law because he is very suffisticated and higher class remarried to a skinny woman who pokes fun of over weight people. I asked my hubby no to tell his father just say that I had a female surgery ( knowing that stops most from asking more ) Well my father in law has been asking me how I was feeling and I of course told him it was a female surgery on my overies to remove cysts because he did ask. Well it has been three weeks since my surgery and my father in law calls today and says how are you feeling ? I said better and he totally blew me away by saying " so are you eating less now " and dont you have to get that thing tightened ? my heart sunk I was shocked for two reasons I was very embarassed that obviously I was caught lieing to him and another I asked my husband not to say anything I said Please. I even asked him the other day " Ok what did you tell your dad so I dont look like I am lieing to him" and he said female surgery. Anyway long story short I nicely confornted my hubby asking him why he told him , I said that I understood that he may of needed someone to talke to but it was my privacy( my best friend doesnt even know ) I was floored at his response he said sarcastically ( we'll call him John ) " Bad John , Bad John, dont worry I will eat my supper and get out of your hair I said I wanted to trust him with my private business so bad but now I felt hurt and he said " well dont tell me anything else then " I was speechless I expecxted he might say he was sorry and have an explination, he also said in not a nice way " Well its hard when I am asked questions what am I suppose to say ?" Now he acts mad a me, What is he thinking/ He has always become very defensive and twists things when he is caught with any kind of lie. To me my band is very private because i know the knives are being thrown behind my back with his family knowing, they are not nice caring people. I have been married for 14 yrs and my husband has been so wonderful about my band until I caught him with explaining my private business. I just had tears in my eyes , I am not a person who likes confrentation I was so nice when confronting him. How would you feel ? Thanks so much for listinng I appreciate it so much. PS I asked my father in law not to tell anyone , I said I would like it to be kept private I even falttered him saying that I trusted him and didnt mind that he knew ( Ya right ! But what else could I say ?) Now I have to face them all and I know their attitude I dred it ! Kim

I cant tell you how many last suppers I had, each one was really going to be the last, then there was one more that was really gonna be it LOL. Lets put it this way I had fun going through the drive thu's and having treats the only thing that bugs me is that when I met with the surgen I got weighed at 240 and surgery was scheduled for three weeks later. At the hospital I secretly weighed myself and I was 246. So at my post op appointment I was 234 so it looked like I had lost 6 lbs well it was really 12 lbs. I didnt admit that to my Dr though but I knew it. He does not believe in last suppers he believes in eating healthy and cutting down before not going on a marathon to see how much I could hold until the big day LOL Its perfectly normal what you are feeling and truthfully that will be it if you are totally commited when you get banded so dont feel guilty, you will never be able to do that again with your band. It will be a thing of the past. The only thing I regret is that my Dr doesnt belive it is 12 lbs but I do:)

Good for you, its a nice feeling to have alittel bit of innocent jealousy. It makes you feel good. Like when you where just dating. Congradulations on your progress ! I like what you said about thick and thin thats a good one

You made me laugh, Yah I think you did the right thing on not killing him haha Wouldnt be fun having the band in prison I hear the food behind bars can be pretty clumpy and might clog your band Haha Especially in a womens prison you wouldn't want to be looking so pretty and thin you could get admired by the wrong chick. So all in all let him live and move on. Thats what I will do. Hospital food is bad enough prison food must be worse. LOL Thanks for understanding so sorry you had to go through it to:)

In a way I really care less what they have to say I guess what hurt me is the way my husband sarcastically spoke to me when told him nicely what his father had said to me, I told him I really didnt care if he told him. When ever he does anything wrong instead of saying sorry he turns it around so I am the one in trouble. Not to blame anyone but I remember alot of emotional eating because If I ever catch him in a lie , He has a way of twisting instead of sticking up for myself McDonalds always made it better. Well not anymore. I figure its now or never to break the old habbits. Sounds crazy but some men feel safe being with a big woman I think. My husband has said a couple times " I can see what will happen you will lose weight and men will look at you and ask you out and I hope I dont have to worry about that" Haha I love it. His saftey net will disappear and I'll have him eating out of the palm of my hand . When I am strong and dont cry and stick up for myself he is so attentive to me but when I let my guard down and become so sad and discusted with myself he knows I am weak and he holds the upper hand. He is actually very nice but kind of like a kid at times I suppose.

Forgot to mention that the father in law went yrs without speaking to us because he was predjudice against the nationality of my adopted son. There is alot of history behind him on why I would not want him knowing. After my MIL died we drove out of state to be with him and he left us at their home to go be with his surprise girlfriend, said he didnt need the comfort he was feeling bad for the woman he had an affair with because she wanted him and he was finally free of the 45yr marriage so had to go be with her. Anyway I am happy with my journey even if some of those who surround me are ignorant the important thing is that I will be healthier and happier and be her hopefully many yrs longer with my children and wont die of being so overweight with health problems. All I needed was a band they need a shrink LOL

Thank you both for your kind thoughts, I thought about what you said and you are right about asking someone else to lie. I guess the thing that hurt me is that he will lie about things he doesnt want his father to know , doesnt have a guilty bone in his body. You said it in so many words, I shouldnt worry about them, they may think they are superior to me being in their upper class group but to be critical and to judge people like they do they have a bigger problem than I do with my weight. They should be so lucky to have a band invented to change their attitude Haha I just cant stand when people dont understand and think it is the easy way out . Just as an example of how ignorant my step mother in law is --When we adopted our first child as an infant we took him to their house to meet them and my step MIL says " How could this babys birthmother give him up ? Why didnt she just have an abortion, would of been eaiser " Can you imagine that here I am with my prayers being answered by a very unselfish woman who knew she could not afford this baby but chose life for him and he was blessed with wonderful parents who's dreams had come true and the igonrant MIL says something like that. I have never liked that woman no even one tiny bit. But I try to put on a happy face so that my husband can have a small realtionship with his father. Luckily she has nothing to do with our three adopted children. I would not want her being Grammy to them for their sake. She is 30 yrs younger that my FIL prances around all 110 lbs of her in her mini skirt all painted up Give me a brake. Sorry to ramble just couldnt resist telling you this story.Gives you an idea of how non supportive that group of people is. thanks for listening feel better already just getting it off my chest:)

I have been hoping to meet someone from Maine here. Lizarbit I would deffinately be interested in supporting one another and sharing advice. I have something else in common with you I have been to Texas all three of my children are adopted from Texas ! Email me if you'd like to chat. Tootarts that is neat that you had Dr Morand ( not sure the spelling ) I had Dr. Mckee and Dr Morand assisted him. They are great. I see you have made some great progress Congradulations ! I am newly banded only three weeks. All of a sudden my appetite is comming back today wow how strange I feel like I could eat a side of beef LOL. I am getting my first fill on June 13th. I am kind of nervous about it. I dont know why after going through surgery but it scares me to imagine a needle in my stomach. What did you think of it ? I thougt I would nt need a fill I had no appetite but Like other banded people have said the appetite most of the times comes back when you heal. I was hoping it wouldnt. Nice to meet you email me also sometime if you'd like kimtj@suscom-maine.net

Hi yes that it one of the many diets that I tried. Be careful there is a slight risk with your heart because it sometimes beats alittle different, at least mine did. My Dr monotored me closely while on it and yes I lost lots of weight but when I was done taking it I gained it all back. It took control of my hunger for sure but when I stopped it my appeitite was like a starving animal let out of a cage. I took it on and off for about two yrs and if I could live on it I would of been thin. As long as your Dr is monotoring you it probably will help you but deffinately while you are on it know that when you go off it you " must " eat like you did while on it to stay thin. I have to admit I was to weak and just didnt have control. I now have the band , I have had it for three weeks and I am so happy I thank god for technology its an amazing tool. It is just what I needed. Good luck Remember everyone is different and it may work wonderful just dont lose control like I did when you stop taking it. Best of luck Sincerely Kim

I had no idea that there are different size bands, I was told during my post op appointment that I have the big one that holds 10cc's I am very sore and havent bounced back as quickly as I hoped for and wondered if it may be because my band is bigger ? My Dr said that they now are trying to use the big ones on everyone I didnt know there was a difference and kind of worried that the big ones may cause a more uncomfortable feeling, just wondered if anyone else knew there where different sizes and what size you have ? Thanks for your reply Kim

Hello, Just wondering if you found it to be strange or difficult getting use to your new appetite ? I was a huge eater, could out eat my hubby sometimes. Out of habit it feel so strange eating such a small amount that I do now. It kind of messes with your head. LOL I was so use to eating huge that eating 4oz is just amazing to me. I was banded on june 5th and I have such a small appetite. I have overeaten just out of habit and it does not feel good Ouch does it ache, overeating is even strange becuse its still hardly any food that I eat. Does the discomfort from over eating always stay with you ? Or is it because I am 2 1/2 weeks post op ? I am just so amazed I guess it takes some getting use to. I am so glad that I did this and got banded, I just have to work on the habit of eating. I suppose its like a smoker who quits still reaching for a cigarette. I feel like I should grab a snack then catch myself and say what am I thinking. Did anyone else feel shocked at how small your appetite is. Kind of useless to cook for myself , only three bites and all the work was for that haha. I still do though cause I have a family to feed . I see where food is in a different place in my life already. I appreciate how good it taste and eat slow to make it last. I think I eat less in a whole day than I would have in one meal. Dont mean to ramble it just amazes me to see the band do it work and I havent had a fill yet . Kim:hungry:

I meant to say Lap not lab, you probably figured that out already haha

Haha Isn't there a string that hangs out in your Lab and you pull it to make it tighter so you dont over eat ? Then you loosen it when you want to eat more right ? All I could think of is a doll I had when I was a kid , you pull the string tighter and her hair tightened inside her head and when it was loosened her hair grew LOL Yah its funny how people think. My least favorite comment is the one from a couple of friends ( so called friends ) said that No way would they do such a risky thing , a cowards way out . They could loose weight if tehy really wanted to. I felt like saying " Well obviously you dont really want to " haha Sometimes you learn who your true friends are when you go throught things like this. Those two friends dont know I have the band I mentioned it to them before . I am working so hard to exercise and be sucessful I just figure they dont need to know I will make their chin drop and they can think that I did it with no band . So there ! haha Kim:)

Hi, I am surprised that my Dr doesnt require a pre- op diet only a nutritionist to help count protein and I was suppose to eat like I had the band but no liquid diet at all in fact I had a huge bowl of lobster stew the night before my surgery and had many " last " meals. I am grateful to his rule because I had such a problem with food it would of been very difficult for me to do it. I know I would of though if it was required because when we make a commitment to get the band we must be ready to do our very best at listeining to Dr's orders and be responsible so we dont hurt ourselves. Good luck to you I am now 18days post-op and feel great with a little tiny appetite that I am trying to get use to. Its wonderful !!:clap2: Stick with what he said it will be so worth it. I am down 15 lbs and am so motivated !! Kim

I am newly banded its been 15 days and I feel great. I was so nervous that I finally broke down and cried just before going into the operating room. Its normal to feel so many emotions especially knowing it is going to change your life in so many ways. I told my Dr they were happy tears he said he sees them all the time. When woke up of course I didnt feel all that great and I thought oh my what have I done to myself but I felt better so quickly and havent regreted it for a minute. I am so proud of myself for doing this and thinking of something for "me" . I know how you feel just remember how good you are going to feel when you lose the weight, I cant imagine anything better I have struggled for so many years. Good luck Keep us posted ! Kim

Hello, I am two weeks post op and am trying to figure out what kind of a permenant diet to be on once my post op is over. I am wondering if most of you eat fruits with carbs and other carbs ? I loose weight like crazy when doing low carb, the Atkins has been my only sucess in weight loss before my band but unfortunately I gained it all back and more once I started to eat lots of carbs again. I know my body and it works for me to do low carb but is it save for long term with a band or would I gain it back someday ? I am wondering if I should eat a variety of food , loose slower but still feel my carb addiction , just to be able to have variety. I know with a band it will still be hard for me to do that , its a real thing that really exsists with me. When on low carb I sleep all night with a weight watchers type diet I wake in the night wanting food feeling shaky until I get up and have a coupe crackers. Is there anyone that eats a reagular low carb diet ? Maybe a low carb , low fat would be good for met to do. I had a hard time when meeting with the nutritionist about so many servings of grain and carbs I dread it, I know I will crave more. Anyway sorry for rambling but as I get closer to regular food I want to do the right thing. Thanks so much Kim:)

Thanks for any replies you are willing to share with me , I just read the next to mine which asked the same question in so many words. I will also check with that post so you dont have to answer us both. Thank You so much Kim

Hello, I am two weeks post op and am trying to figure out what kind of a permenant diet to be on once my post op is over. I am wondering if most of you eat fruits with carbs and other carbs ? I loose weight like crazy when doing low carb, the Atkins has been my only sucess in weight loss before my band but unfortunately I gained it all back and more once I started to eat lots of carbs again. I know my body and it works for me to do low carb but is it save for long term with a band or would I gain it back someday ? I am wondering if I should eat a variety of food , loose slower but still feel my carb addiction , just to be able to have variety. I know with a band it will still be hard for me to do that , its a real thing that really exsists with me. When on low carb I sleep all night with a weight watchers type diet I wake in the night wanting food feeling shaky until I get up and have a coupe crackers. Is there anyone that eats a reagular low carb diet ? Maybe a low carb , low fat would be good for met to do. I had a hard time when meeting with the nutritionist about so many servings of grain and carbs I dread it, I know I will crave more. Anyway sorry for rambling but as I get closer to regular food I want to do the right thing. Thanks so much Kim

Hi, I dont know how many " final " meals I had. Now that I am 12 days post op I am glad I did. I had what I wanted and now its in the past. It was the only time I didnt feel guilty for over eating I knew that would be it and I wanted to go out with a bang LOL It normal what you are feeling I was banded on June 5th and was so scared. I am so glad that I did it now today I feel so good. I had a hard time with the gas, make sure you research ideas on how to handle that end of it then you will be ready and will know what to do to make it easier. Good luck to you ! Kim

Just curious if anyone has been sucessful with out ever getting a fill ?My Dr said some people change so much mentally and are so ready they never get a fill. I actually have a fear of the band on gettig something stuck so I am anxious how I do between now and my firs fill the third week in July. I am only 11 days post op so I may regret that thought seeings I am not totally healed my appitite may come back but for now I am fine, no hunger just mentally missing the habit of eating. Kim:)

You are so right ! What wonderful inspriational words. Thank you so much I appreciat it. I am anxious to do a more exercise than just walking. I am 12 days post-op and still the band area is very sore when I move certain ways but when I fell better I am gonna give it all I got ! I too look forward to seeing those collar bones Haha Thanks again Kim:)

It is so much more of a mental chage than than a physical . I sometimes feel lost, I dont smoke or drink now I hardly eat, LOL Not much left but the rewards will be so worth it Maybe I need a hobby . I think eating and planning where to eat or what to make was my hobby and a huge part of my happiness. It's sad but true. I know it will get easier when people start to notice my weight loss I will gain more strength because of being so happy. Hang in there we will all get through it Kim

Hello, Just wondering if you get pain when you burp ? I am only two weeks post op and the pain when I burp is getting worse. Also I have a hard time getting the burp up I have to bend over and it comes out all on its own. Just hoping that it goes away, I told the Dr and he said everyone is different that seems to be the explination to so many questions when newly banded. Thanks so much for your reply Kim

Wow so it comes out easier when you bend down also ? I could't figure out why but if it works that's what matters. The shoe idea is great, only problem with me is when I bend down to burp it comes out noisy, maybe that will change when I am further along. Kim

wow me too, I feel the band . Do you hurt when you burp ? I do terribly Ouch! 'Kim