I've struggled with my weight my whole life. I'm at my heaviest 235lbs my lightest 115lbs. I've been approved for surgery and even have a date less then 30 days away and now I'm thinking of cancelling it. I'm terrified. I'm thinking if I'm really ready to do this I should be excited or happy but I'm not. So I must not be ready yet, right?
Here is a list of the reasons for my fear...
1. I hate the thought of limiting what I'll eat not quantity wise but damn can I have a slice of bread and not worry?
2. I'm losing my best friend. My sidekick, my hiding place when the world gets rough. What am I gonna do when I get overwhelmed or hurt. I can't eat anymore so whats next?
3. Most importantly, is this really going to help me? I'm not overweight because of my portions necessarily. I'm overwight because I've found happiness in food. I mean to be honest I love IT more then I love myself. So will this help? Is there another way I can be "fixed?" If my challange with food is mental why am I doing something physical to accomplish my goal.
I'm so confused. I'm terrified. Any input would help.
Thank you.