Hi Piper, I completly understand where you are right now. I am in the same place. My son is 19 months and I was losing alittle weight last year and then BAM I have gained almost 30 lbs since January. I have always struggled w/weight. I either had the will power and was doing great on what ever diet I was trying or I am gaining. Well, once I got on the scale and it said 190 and I wasn't even pregnant, I told myself I would not get to 200. Well, 200 is here and I can't stick to a diet, so I do some research and find that my ideal weight is 115 to 127 and I am severly obese. Then I start to think of all the problems I have been having lately, no sleep body aching, numb feeling in my legs and no sex drive (my poor husband) I never really associated them w/weight but they are. I can't even remember the direct route I took to this discussion board but I too can't believe how helpful and accepting everyone is here, it is great. Good luck w/your decision and keep us updated