I am new to this too this website too. I actually had my surgery 11/09. My husband and I went back and forth over this. I told him that I thought this was the best choice for me and I really wanted him to support me. I told him that I want to grow old with him and that I need to be healthier and this will help me get there. You can tell your ex that you want to see your child grow up and you want to be healthier too. You need to tell him that you need him to be on-board with this as this will affect your entire family.