k-butterflyy

I remember when I was around 9 years old and I had become more than pleasantly plump, my mom started buying me workout videos, mini trampoline, dumbbells, and all kinds of other exercise things.  I remember being in the 4th grade and my mom sending a note to my teachers explaining that I was on a Slim Fast diet and to let me eat my fruit and drink my shakes during class.  How embarrassing. But I did it while being picked on at the same time.  Summer time was always the best time of year for me.  I could go outside and play, play basketball, kickball, and be so busy socializing that I didn't even think about eating so much. I always lost weight during the summer.  I started the new school year slim and trim (well, slim for me) with a new wardrobe.  By the winter of that year, none of my clothes fit and I was back to drinking Slim Fast shakes.  People would criticize my mom, saying "you really shouldn't have her on shakes, she's still a child and growing." Everyone's comments never bothered my mom. She would reply "you don't have to look at her and you don't have to buy her clothes." True enough, I wasn't wearing childrens' clothing. I went from the husky section at JC Penney to the juniors department at Lord & Taylor, then to the misses at Burdines, all before I even was a teen.  When I was about 12 or 13, I became interested in boys and realized that none of the boys were interested in me.  I was the joke girl.  Whoever lost the bet of the day, they had to sit next to me, or give me their phone number (which was never correct, I'm sure), or blow me a kiss, while all of the other boys were laughing and pointing.  I hated going to the after school program and summer camp just because I knew, that at some point in the day, someone was going to make fun of me.  At this point, I had some motivation.  Instead of eating french fries and two hot dogs, and strawberry soda at lunch, I ate sandwiches and tea (there was no water in the vending machine).  I would wake up in the middle of the night and pop in those workout videos my mom bought me years ago and work out for hours.  I would eat half of my dinner and tell my dad that I didn't want grits, eggs, and toast with cheese and sausage, but just some eggs with no cheese and a slice of toast.  The pounds started coming off.  And by the end of the summer, there weren't too many laughs, and there were now smiles from the boys. I was smart enough to know better, so I didn't take at all to their kindness. And then they were mean to me again because I was now the stuck up girl that used to be fat and now, I thought that I was all of that, which I did. So what?  So, 8th grade school year started as so did the same cycle, the weight came back. My graduation gift from my dad was a new stereo, my gift from my mom was a visit to a doctor and a prescription for phentermine.  I thought it was the best thing ever. The summer and weight had gone and I started 9th grade weighing 138 at a new school as a new girl. I had all of the cutest outfits from The Limited, Gap, and Express and my hair was always in place. I was immediately accepted by everyone at this new school in which I knew no one. Girls wanted to be my friend, boys were always nice, my grades were good, I even joined the track team.  I was the 'it" girl. I felt on top of the world.  Then it was summer. I was no longer on phentermine, but I stayed home instead of going to camp. I worked out and made sure not to eat too much junk.  I gained weight, but not too much. When I returned no one seemed to notice, but my track coach did. He said, "what happened?" I told him it was just an few extra pounds and that I could get off during spring conditioning. My run times got slower and slower and my weight went higher and higher.  I was then forced to do discus and shot put, the "fat girl" events. From that point on, my weight never went down. By senior year, I was close to 200lbs. Now, 10 years later, I'm very close to 300. And just to think that I was horrified at 200. When I saw 283 in August, I knew that was it. So, here I am...ready, able, and willing.