khunt719

I have come to the conclusion that weighing myself everyday isn't a good idea because my weight fluctuates throughout the day. So I'm going to weigh every Tuesday until I go for my next fill. I am hoping to lose 5 lbs this month and that is my goal so hopefully I can achieve it. I made some chili this morning for me to take for lunch today since I had nothing else and it stays with me for a long time. It smells rather good and I can't wait to taste it, maybe I will have some for breakfast. I was so hungry yesterday at lunch. The company bought us lunch from Honeybaked Ham and I had a turkey sandwich that was fabulous. I was worried about the bread but it didn't bother me and it stayed with me until I got home and had dinner. I had leftover PF Changs for dinner and it was so good. I love their food if you haven't noticed. I think I will start to walk on my lunch and/or break to get that extra exercise in. It has been hot here but 15 min won't be so bad. Exercise is what I need most and it seems like I don't get enough of it. I want to go swimming after work but it is so hard for me to get off and then come home and go back out. I would meet my husband at the gym after work without coming home but it is early and people are there and then you don't have a lane to swim in, you have to wait for them to get done. I am on my 6th cup of coffee and I think the caffeine is bothering my stomach because it is starting to ache. I had a hard time taking my pills this morning and I am going to ask the doctor about getting them in a liquid form. I don't think I can stop taking them because they are the mood stabalizers and anti-depressants but maybe I can go off one or two of them. They have worked so well together I hate to try something new. I wasn't myself yesterday, very down in the dumps. I don't know why, maybe it was because my friend wasn't there or because it was slow and I had nothing to do. When we are slow I go on here and read the threads because that helps keep me busy. I ordered some more protein from BE and hopefully it will get here soon. My mother is almost out of hers so I have to run some of mine out to her this weekend. I tried the melon and I am not crazy about it so I'll give it to her. She likes melons so she should like this one. The peanut butter is really good, it is thick and tastes like real peanut butter is in it. My scalp is starting to tingle so I have definately gotten my caffeine for the day. I need to slow down on it but coffee is so good. I think I will try the decaf kind. Robert doesn't drink the decaf so I would get the ready to mix instant kind. Well that is about all I have to say for today. Good luck losing.

My husband wasn't supportive of the surgery because he had fears of the surgery itself. He went with me to the intro seminar and I was the smallest one there so he didn't think I needed the surgery. I was miserable at 270 lbs. I finally got approved and he has been with me ever since. Watching and cheering me on as I go through this journey. Good luck with yours and if he isn't going to be supportive I wouldn't want him to take me either.

I am so glad that you are no longer her friend. People that haven't had a weight problem just don't understand the prejudice that comes with it. They don't understand how we have to pay for pedicures because we can't bend over to cut our toenails, or how hard it is to wash all the parts in the shower, or how we take up more than one seat on a plane, or how we have to make sure the aisle is large enough for us to walk down without knocking everything off the hangers. I am glad my mother is my best friend because she has had the band and then she had the sleeve done so she understands what it is like to be overweight and to be skinny. I am 9 months post-op and have lost some weight but still have that big girl thinking. I still buy clothes that are too big to cover my body, I figure if I don't want to see it why would anyone else? Sorry about your Grandma, I was very close to mine and she passed away 5 years ago and I still miss her to this day. Good luck with your surgery.

I chew the Vitaband vitamins you buy through Bariatric Advantage and then I take a petite calcium from Citracal. That is what my nut says I need.

My husband didn't want me to have the surgery but he has been very supportive about it. My 9 month anniversary is coming up and I can't remember the pre-op diet being so bad. Maybe it is because I was allowed a 3 oz piece of chicken and a 1/2 rice once a day. I stuck with alot of s/f jello and s/f kool-aid. That seemed to help even after the surgery. Time will go by and you will be like what was the big deal. Just remember a good surgery is what you are after and having your liver shrunk is what matters most. I used to weigh myself 3 times a day every chance I got, I only weigh every other day now because the numbers were driving me crazy. Just stick to the diet and you will be fine. Good luck.

My 9 month anniversary is coming up and this has been a journey I never thought I would be going through. You are doing so good, I applaud you. Keep up the good work.:thumbup:

Yesterday I had a panic attack and had to leave work. It was the second time in 3 years that I had to leave work early because I was sick so that was no big deal. But as I was sitting doing drops, I just got to thinking about how stressed out Robert has been about not having a job and my back started hurting, then my head and then my blood started racing inside me and all these thoughts came over me and I just had to leave. I cried all the way home. I got home took a Percocet and a Xanax and settled down. Then Robert and I ran a few errands. It didn't take me long to get back to normal and it was nice spending time with him. We went and looked at a Nissan Altima and I test drove one...not the one I wanted but a 4 cylinder, I want a V6. And it drove nice so now I want one. Robert says I have to wait the 3 years until mine is paid off so I am going to put whatever extra money towards my car payment and get it paid off fast. I just need to pay off the credit card but that won't take long after we get back from vacation so I am happy about that. I just need to make some more money and get my car paid off now. I love the look of the Altima and I'm sure the V6 is faster that the 4 cylinder. I can't believe they didn't have any V6's on the lot to test drive. Stupid if you ask me because that is what I wanted to test drive. He wouldn't let me get on the interstate and that is where I do most of my driving so it wasn't a great experience to begin with. I might just end up going to Denver and looking there. My husband is doing good, he is still looking for a job and hopefully can get one before tax season but I know he will definately get one for tax season because of his CPA license. My eating was out of control again last night but I didn't eat anything bad for me just a lot of food. I ate a big thing of watermelon and it has a lot of sugar in it but it works down to about nothing when you eat it. It tasted so good. Then I had some nuts. I had a cup of mashed potatoes for dinner. It was good. We went to PF Chang's for lunch and I had 2 ribs, some soup, and 2 dumplings. That filled me up so that was good. Well I have to get in the shower now so have a good day and good luck losing.

My doctor said Yaz was the cause of blood clots moving from my leg to both my lungs and almost killed me. They put me on Lovenox for a month. It didn't really affect my periods but you have to be careful not to get your blood too thin. I would go everyday to the doctor's office so they could do a prick test on my finger to see where my levels were. At one point they sent me to the emergency room for a vitamin shot because I was so thin that is I got cut I would bleed out and die. That wasn't good. So just be careful and get tested atleast once a week if not every other day. Insurance didn't pay for the office visit everytime I had to go get tested so it got expensive but it was worth it. If you period does bother you and you don't want to have one. Then get the Mirena IUD. I got mine and haven't had a period since July of last year. Good luck.

I had my tubes tied but because of heavy periods the doctor put me on Yaz. That caused blood clots from my legs to travel into both lungs and almost killed me. So now the doctor put me on the Mirena and I haven't had a period since July of last year. No addl weight gain or any problems with it. I love it.

I wasn't educated by my doctor and the only support I got came from the initial consultation and class you have to go to. I didn't lose weight for 6 months but that was because I was eating the wrong foods and too big of amounts but I didn't know better and then I found this forum and have learned so much. Now I understand that I am only supposed to have a small amount of food and it is supposed to last me 3-4 hours. If it weren't for this forum I don't think I would be losing yet. If I didn't have people to talk to that are going through the same thing as I am, I don't think the band would work the way it is supposed to. Just take a chill pill and if reading the forum makes you upset...don't read it.

I was banded 9-28-09 and since that time it took me about 7 months to feel restriction. I too felt like I could eat what I wanted and how much I wanted and it has shown because I've only lost 15 lbs. I gained for like the first 6 months. Now I can eat a cup of food and be full for about 3-4 hours. My food of choice is chili, it has protein and beans in it and it lasts the longest in my band. I have a hard time with bread so that is a no-no. But other than that I can eat anything. You have done so good with losing the weight and you should be proud of that. I feel like I work at this and can't lose the weight. I would just stick with your cheese and proteins. Make sure you are getting at least 60 grams of protein so your hair doesn't start falling out. That happened to my mother. But I can relate to feeling hungry, in the beginning it was like I couldn't ever get full. I could eat a whole hamburger and be fine with it. Good luck.

I just went yesterday and got .5 cc's to get to 8.5 cc's in a 10 cc band. I wish I would have trouble eating certain foods because everything seems to go down just fine. I haven't lost the weight that I wanted and it seems to be coming off slowly but that is what the doctor wants. I just wish it would be sooner than later. Just take your time and enjoy the restriction because eventually it might seem that you do need another fill and you have plenty of room for more saline to be added so just go with the flow and enjoy this experience. I wish food wouldn't look so appetizing to me and 2-3 bites and I was full but it seems like a cup of food and I am good for about 3-4 hours. You will get there just be patient.

I had surgery in Sept and can remember being constipated so badly. I started taking stool softners and those seemed to help. Now I take laxatives and probably am addicted to them but I have this idea that they help keep me from gaining the weight back. It goes back to pre-surgery thinking. I should get off them but try them if you need something to help you poop. Being stuffed up is never fun. Good luck.

My common-law husband was totally against me getting the band. He saw my mother almost die from it but her's slipped. So he wasn't excited for me but in time he has come around. He was worried because it was major surgery and he wouldn't know what to do if he lost me (how sweet). He is pushing for me to lose weight now because he can understand how much pain my body was in at 270 lbs. He has seen me go from 200 to 270 and back to 226 now. He went with me for my fill yesterday and that was nice because he and the doctor got a chance to talk since they hadn't in months. He gets tired of me weighing myself at every chance I get but for the most part he is happy for me. Food is my life and my life revolves around food so he has had to adjust to it and that has led to some fights but for the most part we are still very much in love with each other. I feel for people who's partner is so insecure that they can't lend an encouraging hand or say nice things to them. If I were you I would try and deal with the issues I had and then if it doesn't get any better there are always more fish in the sea. Life is too long to be unhappy and to short when you are in love. I'm here if you need to talk.

Be patient. My doctor did his first fill at 4 weeks out and I still didn't feel any restriction. Since Oct I have gone for a 1cc fill every month and just now am getting good restriction. I went yesterday and he put in .5 because I was at 8cc's already. I hope this does it. But it seemed like I was always hungry and couldn't get enough to eat. I've only lost 15 lbs since surgery but that is better than gaining. For some of us, it just takes time and time is what I have so I am living the dream in the meantime. Just go with the flow and enjoy knowing that you had WLS and there are plenty of people that can't get approved or don't have the money to pay for it. Sometimes I can't believe how lucky I got to have had this done.

My doctor wouldn't do a post-surgery fill until 4 weeks out. I ate like crazy and didn't lose any weight. It has taken me getting a fill every month since Sept to fill some kind of restriction. If I was in your shoes I would feel lucky to have restriction and not want to eat. Eating is over-rated. You have to take your multi-vitamin and get your protein in. I can't believe you would throw such a fit about getting filled so early. I have to pay every time I go in and just saving that extra money would have been nice. Cheer up and just go with the flow. And just because you have weight in your hips and buttocks doesn't mean you had a tiny stomach. How would you even know that? Just be happy and quit acting this way. Talk to your doctor if you have questions, make a list and an appt and go see him and get it all out. Don't talk to the nurse's.

I was at 8cc's yesterday and the doctor put in .5 because he said 3-4 hours of restriction was good. I wanted to make the meal last about 5 hours so hopefully this will do it. I only lost a lb last month so I knew I had to do something different. My doctor takes things slow so I just have to go with it. Good luck.

As weird as it sounds, I think the saline finds it way out the band. I was supposed to be at 9cc's and the doctor only withdrew 7 and put 8 back in. I don't have the same restriction it doesn't feel like so I go today for another fill and should be back at 9 cc's. After eating my meal I don't get hungry until about 3 hours later and I want the fullness to last 4-5 hours so that is why I am going for another fill. I think you are going to do good with the cc's you have now. Good luck

I'm at 227 this morning so I have to be proud that I lost 9 of those 10 lbs I gained. It isn't the fact that I have to weigh in today for my fill but it is the fact that I have gained 1 lb since my last fill. Doc isn't going to know what to do with me. I'll just ask for another fill and tell him I had a 4 day eating binge and gained the 10 lbs and lost 9 of those and hopefully he will be happy with that. I think I will wait until right before vacation before going back to him for another fill if I need one or just keep the band the same for a year. They say the saline goes away over time so I would have to go back in for a check up. I took 2 laxatives yesterday hoping they would help get the pound off and they haven't even worked yet so I don't know what the problem is, now I am stuffed up and can't poop. I know eating less makes you poop less but I read where you can take a laxative and lose some excess water weight so that is what I did and nothing. I even fail at that. Robert made the coffee this morning and it tastes so good, I love my coffee. I'll have to do liquids for 2 days and I am already dreading it. I slept good last night until 6:30 this morning so that was sleeping in for me. Last night, we had steak and vegetables on the grill. I had about 3 oz's of steak and a few peppers and onion. They were good and the steak didn't bother me so I guess I chewed it good enough to go down ok. I get up in the morning and that gives me time to do my facebook, I am addicted to Cafe World. It is so much fun. My friends from work do it too. So this month I am going to try very hard to follow the rules, I don't have anything special planned other than 4th of July but we don't do anything for it. I do have that Monday off so that is nice. Then I took the Monday after that off so I would get a 4 day weekend. I just really have to focus on my eating and drinking protein. I have done good these past 2 weeks. I lost the 9 lbs in the 2 weeks so that is something to be proud of. I am just fixated on what the scale says. My clothes fit the same but I know once I get to 200 lbs all my clothes should be fitting me and I can finally give the big clothes away to goodwill or a church somewhere. I can also call the domestic violence center and see if they need some for the safe house. I know women there could always use the clothes to look for a job or to just wear since most of them just come with little or no extra clothing. My heart is in the right place. I feel like I am just jumping all over the place with this entry, it's like my head is thinking of so many things. My books about eating are interesting, they start out slow but hopefully they will get into it soon or I am going to lose interest. One deals with self-image, weight and food addictions...that is what I need since I weigh myself 2-3 times a day and you know how it is to be addicted to food. It's like there is nothing else you can think about but food. It swallows you up. I think about it morning, noon, and night, I get anxious if I don't know where the next meal is coming from or what it is. Yesterday was a good day because I had protein shakes for breakfast and first break, naked ribs for lunch, and the steak kabob for dinner. So my day was planned out so I felt good about that. Today we are supposed to go to breakfast where I order scrambled eggs and sausage. Then I'll be on protein for the rest of the day so I don't feel like I have to plan anything for today and tomorrow will be just liquids so I have some soup and protein drinks for that. It's just the next 2 days after tomorrow that I will worry about what to eat and I don't know why because I'll only be able to eat soft foods so my choices are limited. I'll probably have cottage cheese for lunch, applesauce for breakfast, and then cottage cheese for dinner. I usually put a few pieces of pineapple in with the cottage cheese to give it a little bit of flavor, I also know that some people put in pepper or hot sauce to dress it up a bit. It is pretty boring just eating it like it is. I don't know what else to eat that is soft other than mashed potatoes but it has alot of carbs so that is out. Do you have any ideas? What do you eat after you get a fill, I would really like to know because it can get so boring eating the same thing for 2 days especially when it isn't even good foods. I know I go on binges where I'll eat the same food for 2 weeks and not get tired of it but cottage cheese isn't one of them. I love my beef hot dogs...weird I know but they taste so good with a little bit a ketchup. I also love chili. Cowboy chili with kidney beans in it. I can eat about a cup of it and feel just satisfied enough that it lasts me until the next meal before I get hungry again. I could eat it for breakfast it is so good. Gross but it is good. I have been craving watermelon too. I know it is full of natural sugars so I haven't been eating alot of it. I did have some during the 4 days I was off and it was good, not too sweet just right for what I was looking for. I never really got into blogging before but reading about other people's lives is pretty interesting. It is nice to read what I am going through someone else out there is going through the same thing or has the same issue or problem that I have. And it lets me get alot off my mind. My head sometimes gets so congested with things that it feels so full and won't allow for one more thing to enter it. I'm on medication for it but it still happens. I am going to make an appt with my family doctor to see if there is some of the medication I can go off of because I take so many and they are starting not to go down very easily. I want to puke them back up and fight them to go down. My family doctor is pretty good and she gives me what I ask for so that helps since I don't have to fight her for the prescription. I know she would never let me take a mixture that would harm me but I am on so many anti-depressants and mood stabilizers, there has to be a way to just take a few of them and be able to function in society. My friend at work is having her breasts reduced. I gave her the idea since she is a "G" and I had it done years ago. It was one of the better surgeries that I have had. It sure makes a difference with how you feel and no matter how much weight I would lose it never would come off my chest. I stayed a "DD" ever since high school. And when they hang down and go south it is time for someone to do something with them. They would hang down to my belly button and they were always in the way. It's not pretty waking up with a boob across your neck or tucked under your arm. I can just imagine how good she will feel once she has it done. It took the insurance 1 week to approve her and she is set for surgery on the 7th of July so it went pretty quickly. I took a week off of work and then was on light duty. I did alot of paperwork and couldn't be around inmates or arrestees until the stitches dissolved. She is taking 6 weeks off so she should be recoved by then. I would hope. She is going to look so good. I think she is about 55 years old and just having the weight lifted off her back and shoulders will be nice. Well that is enough of my rambling for today. Hope the best for all you losers out there and good luck losing the weight.

I once again wrote a frickin' book and can't find it now. I don't know where on this website it goes but Robert came in so I showed him what blogging was like and now I can't find the blog I was writing in the first place, it is probably a good thing because I just went on and on about how much I love him and how much we are in love and crap like that. I also told you about how I gained the 2 lbs that I had lost putting me back at 228 instead of 226 where I need to be before tomorrow's weigh in and fill. Not good but that is the way it is. I'll do my exercising today and watch what I eat. I have northern style ribs from PF Changs for lunch and will have my protein shake for breakfast. Depending on how that lasts me I'll have a protein bar for break. The shake sometimes lasts me and then other times I am so hungry I can't stand it. I should have an easy day today at work and then I'm off tomorrow. I want to go look at a Nissan Altima...that is the car of my dreams, I'm not sorry I bought a new Subaru but the Altima is what I wanted and should have gotten but I thought it was too expensive for me. I am throwing around the idea that maybe I just need to get a grip on having a slow car and putting tint on the windows and I already have the Sirius system in it and everything I could ask for like power windows and A/C. This is the first brand new car I have ever had. The ones I have had in the past are either hand me downs or given to me by a boyfriend. I guess getting a Porsche and Corvette weren't too bad of gifts. But I gave them back when we broke up so I miss the Porsche, the Corvette had too long of nose for me and I didn't like driving it too much. But it got me alot of attention and was fun. Now I have a Subaru Impreza, it was something that was practical and had what I needed and I have since put in a $700 Sirius system and want an amplifier now. So that should cost me another $500 with the new speakers and getting it installed but it will be so worth it when it is done. I want to get the windows tinted on it next so I think after we get back from vacation and I renew my plates I will have that done. My husband keeps every business card that has been handed to him and a tinting company that he used is one of them so that is who I will call. I also want to get my credit card paid off. I went on a shopping binge and spent $600 on Mac make up. An easy thing to do but since then I have expanded my collection to include Urban Decay, Sephora, and Lancome. All that I love just wish I could change make up 2-3 times a day depending on what mood I was in. I think every woman needs to have a big collection of make up to help make her feel pretty. Some women are just beautiful without the use of make up, I on the other hand am not one of these women. I have to have at least eye make up and lipstick to feel complete in the morning. That is how I end getting ready for my day is by putting on my make up before I do my hair. It really gives me the extra boost in self-esteem that I need. My husband turned our loft area into my make up station. I have a big desk, with lighted mirror, and computer chair to roll around in while doing my daily ritual. It's like being a little girl playing dress up. My husband had a hard time sleeping the night before and that keeps me awake because if I wake up and he is not in bed I can't sleep so it was good that I was off yesterday. Made for a long day getting up at 3:30 a.m. and getting him to come back to bed. I did make it to the gym and swam until someone asked if they could swim in my lane once I was done...that made me feel like I had to hurry. Well it is 8:00 a.m. and that means time to getting for my day at work. I will be back tomorrow morning to tell you about how my day was and what else is on my mind. Happy losing

My doctor says 2 days of liquids and 2 days of mushie before going back to normal eating. But I can't take that and end up having s/f pudding or apple sauce on the 2nd day and then eating soft food the rest of the 4 days. But reading on here it just depends on your doctor but it is nice to know that people have choices on what to do and what works for others so just go with what your body feels.

After feeling so down on myself, I am better. Husband and I went to lunch with my mother and her boyfriend. Ate too much so I was full for the rest of the night. Not bad to eat only once a day. I did have a handfull of nuts before bed and I'm still full so that is good. I'm going to fix a couple of eggs for breakfast today and tomorrow and see if that keeps me satisfied until lunch. I bought some cottage cheese to take for lunch Thursday and Friday since I can only have liquids after my fill Tuesday and Wednesday. That is what the doctor says is 2 days liquids, 2 days mushy, and then back to normal just smaller portions. I can do this. It's been a challenge for me in the past but I can do it this time. I got 2 new books on compulsive eating and weight issues so I'm looking forward to reading them. I just finished the 2 lap band books I was reading. Life After the lap band was a good book and had alot of information. The information is what I needed before I began this journey, it would have told me not to drink milk shakes and eat hamburgers and expect to lose the weight. I was just thinking I can only eat in small amounts so I can't gain weight if I don't eat like I used too. There were times when I could eat what I wanted and how much I wanted I gained weight in fact with the band. I know the doctor was getting tired of it, he must have been. Then I got my act together and have been losing except for my binge when I had the 4 days off. You never get a day off with the band, it is like you have to be spot on or you will gain weight and that is the last thing I want to do right now. I know I'll gain weight while being on vacation because the strawberry dacquiri's just call my name in Vegas. They have the tall one's with the long straw and they are so good. My husband and I share them so that isn't so bad just bad enough I'm sure to show on the scale. While we are out there I won't be thinking about anything but swimming, laying by the pool, and eating at some nice restaraunts. Since I can only eat a small amount, we have decided to go to some nice places and spend the $30-$40 on one meal and share it. Makes sense to me. Last time we were there was right before I got the band, in fact I had to go on my 8 day pre-op diet when I got back. We didn't eat at any really nice places just cafe's in the casino and burger joints. Nothing special though so this time I am taking enough money that we don't have to worry about eating or playing the machines. It should be a nice time. My friend "C" from work is watching Kiko and Gabby since I watched her dog for her while she went to Disneyworld. He was a good dog, very loving and sweet but he lifted his leg on everything to mark his territory. That is something we weren't used to so for a week we dealt with it. But I'm sure my dogs will get her carpet a few times. Gabby will enjoy seeing Jasper again and they will play for the first few days and then Jasper will get tired like he did here at our house and try to hide from her. He is 10 years old and Gabby is 1 1/2 years so she is full of energy and doesn't know when to stop but I don't know how long it will take for her to get comfortable around "C". She may just hide under the bed for a few days and then come creeping out. We will take her bed for her but who knows if she will sleep in it. I hope she just decides to sleep with "C" and be comfortable enough to relax a little. She is very skiddish around new people. I hope she is ok. Kiko I don't worry about, as long as she has food and her bed she is ok. She doesn't play much so Jasper doesn't have to worry about keeping her company. I can't wait to go on vacation. I'm thinking even if I lose another 10 lbs before we leave (Aug 29th) that will be fine with me. I wanted to hit the 200 mark before we left but it just isn't happening. I would have to really buckle down and exercise every night at the gym and do the elliptical here at home before getting ready for the day. Robert bought a gym style elliptical so we use it and it is hard so I can only do 9-10 minutes on it so that is enough to get my metabolism going but not enough to burn any extra calories but anything is better than nothing. My husband is looking for a full time job since his bookkeeping isn't really enough to keep us afloat and tax season is over. So it will be hard having him gone throughout the days and the dogs will miss him most since he has been around them for so long. During tax season he did taxes with another CPA so he wasn't home during the day and Gabby showed him how she felt by peeing on the carpet. That cost $1700 to get it ripped up and tile put down. But hey what do you expect from a strong-headed chihuahua. She will hate him being gone and I will too since he does everything around the house. I feel so spoiled by having him home. He is there to watch me leave for work and there when I get home from work. He is always there showing his support through all this. He has never made me feel badly about myself except when he would talk about how his ex-wife would win the wet t-shirt contest in Las Vegas, or how he carried her while on vacation. I found some nude photo's of her that were taken by the beach when they went to Cancun. She is so pretty but she uses her looks to get what she wants. That is why they divorced. She was accepting diamond earrings and other gifts from doctor's at the hospital where she worked. She is a nurse. I found pictures of her being on a billboard advertisement for the hospital with another nurse. How can you get that lucky? To be so pretty and have a good career? I wish I was like that. The cable company I work for is really good and has great benefits and I made more than my husband did when he was an accountant for a firm. That bites for him since I don't have a master's degree and make that much money he says. I just don't think he was getting paid what he should have been. He is very smart and sometimes I feel like a real dummy but he never says anything about it so that is good cause I would have to kill him. The only other time I told him I would kill him is if he ever cheated on me. But I really don't think I would, I would feel like it but I would keep him alive so he would have to deal with his decisions. He knows how much it would hurt me and since it feels like all the men in my life have used me and left me for other women it would just feel like "here we go again". It would break my heart since he is the only man I haven't cheated on and he has my heart. All the men before left me bored and wanting more and you always think the grass is greener on the other side so I was always looking. No regrets except I shouldn't have wasted my time on more than half of them but boy did I have fun when I was younger. I had so much fun. When I would lose the weight is when I had the most fun, but when I gained the weight I was with a couple of guys that didn't care how big I was, they liked the company and I was fun so they enjoyed it. I left those 2 guys when I met Robert. I knew I couldn't juggle 3 men and Robert was a keeper. Handsome, had a job, had a car, and paid for the movie...what more could I ask for. He didn't pressure me for sex so that was a good thing and that is what stuck in my head. When we went on our first date all I could think about was how good looking he was and how good he smelled. It was just filling up my mind with happy thoughts. Then when we talked for so long in the car I knew he was the one that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Well more on that story later. I'm done rambling for the day. Have a good one and good luck losing.

Definately go for another fill. I was banded 9-28-09 and have had a fill every month so far. I am at 8cc's in a 10cc band. I feel some restriction now and go for another one on Tuesday. Exercise is my worst enemy and I hate to get sweaty but I do enough to get my metabolism going. It took me 6 months of eating like I used to before the band to realize that it wasn't working for me. I got serious and lost 15 lbs in 2 months since. I could have been the poster child on what not to do after you get the Band. I was doing everything wrong. Then I bought some books on WLS and specifically the Lap Band and if I would have know what I know now, the band would have worked for me in the first place. Don't look at what everyone else is doing as far as their weight loss because we are all different. Just follow the rules and the weight will come off. You have to use the Band as a tool and that is something I wasn't doing. It works just give it a little more time and you may need a few more fills before you have any restriction, I did. Get some books and read them because there is alot of good information in them. Good luck and don't graze. Eat your meal 3 times a day and you shouldn't be hungry. Eat 1 snack to get you to the next meal if you have to. Try some nuts or a protein bar. But any way you do it good luck to you.

I don't know about PCOS, but I do know about gaining the weight and not losing a single lb in 6 months. I'm at 8 cc's in a 10 cc band and have some restriction. It took me 7 months to lose 10 lbs, the next month I only lost 5 and this month I think I have lost 2 lbs. Eating is my worse enemy and food is my best friend so I bought some books on eating and weight. I'll let you know if there is anything in there that helps with emotional eating. I was an emotional eater before surgery but since having the Band I don't have the craving anymore. I am on a medication for ADHD that helps curb the appetite and I lost 30 lbs on it right before surgery so maybe that is something you need to try. It gives me extra energy since it speeds up my metabolism and I don't feel like eating unless I am hungry. It's worth a shot. Good luck with everything and use the band as a tool, you have to follow the rules to lose the weight and that is something I wasn't doing in the first 6 months and it showed on the scale.

Every night when I get off work I call the husband to see what is for dinner. The night before he said let's figure out what we are eating tomorrow night so you don't have to ask. I didn't get the fact that it bothered him for me to ask...I ask every night after work, it's just a question. I've made decisions all day and don't want to have to make one when I get off. Well last night he went off when I asked about how he doesn't know what is for dinner and I always ask and that it makes him mad because he doesn't know what to say when I ask. That threw me into thinking...my life revolves around food. Food is my best friend...it is there when I am happy, sad, depressed, bored, celebrating. It is always there and I can't stop thinking about it. I think about food from the moment I wake up until I go to bed. I think about what's for breakfast, what's for lunch, and what's for dinner. I can only eat 3 times a day so food is very important to me. I even dream about it sometimes. So I've come to the conclusion that I need to focus more on what I am doing that day and take one meal at a time. You have to be prepared when you have had the surgery, you just can't pop into McDonalds for lunch and order a burger. There has to be some meal preparation and thought into what you eat. My life just revolves around food. I love to eat out even though I can't eat that much, I like the atmosphere and getting waited on, not having to cook or dirty up dishes. I love to eat out. At first I didn't because I couldn't stuff myself from the plate of goodness that sat before me but now I am getting re-adjusted and I love it. PF Chang's is my favorite because there are appetizers that I can make a meal out of and have enough to take home for another meal later on. But just having him make me think about how important food really is got to me. I hadn't realized just how important it is and how much I think about. So that is that story. I weighed this morning and finally hit 226 lbs so I feel better since this is what I weighed last month when I went in for my fill. So anything that I lose after this will be a plus. I'll tell the doctor about my 4 day binge eating feast that I had and how I gained 10 lbs in 4 days so he will know that I am human and lost alot more than what shows on the scale. I just can't believe baked beans and birthday cake were worth gaining the weight because it has taken me 1 1/2 weeks to get it off. I don't know why I chose them to be my friends for the 4 days off but I did. I think after my fill I will stick with my protein shake in the morning along with my coffee, cottage cheese or some type of meat for lunch, and a hot dog for dinner. The hot dog helps because I know I am getting more calories from it and that is what I seem to not be hitting. Maybe that is why I am not losing the weight like I think I should be. One of the series Robert and I like started on Showtime and we missed the last 4 episodes so tonight we are going to catch up with it again. I can't wait for True Blood to start but I hope it isn't as stupid as last year. The commercials look good. We also like Dexter, it is so good and coming from being a cop, I can relate to wanting to kill off the bad guys that get away with their crimes. Yes I was a cop, I made $9 an hour working as a Deputy Sheriff for the small town I lived in. Now I make more than twice that and don't have the life threatening decisions to make. All I can do these days is turn off your cable if you don't pay. It bothers me that people come in wanting extensions on their bill because they are unemployed and can't afford to pay that month of service and you look and they have the top teir of cable there is. How can you justify paying $149 for cable for one month when you don't have a job? I know cable is a big thing in people's lives and it is the only source of entertainment for some families and I'm ok with that but don't come in and give me a pity party because you are broke and have that kind of teir. Do you really need all the channels? The high definition box and the recording box? If it were me I would downsize to just basic which runs $20, keep my internet so I could look for a job. I'm more than happy to put you on a promotion for 6 months to help you get back on your feet but we look at payment history and how long you have been a customer to do that. I've been unemployed twice lost 2 jobs and didn't have another one to back it up so I understand being unemployed. In fact before I got this job at the cable company I was unemployed and this first thing I did was get rid of the cable, internet, and house phone. I had my cell phone in case I got a call about a job and would go to the library to look on the computer for a job so I understand being in a position where you don't know where the money is going to come from for the next month. I didn't get unemployment so I didn't have that to fall back on. I understand where people are coming from that are in this position. Ok enough about that. I have the day off with the husband and we are going to meet up with my mother and her boyfriend for lunch so it should be good, don't know where we are going but it should be good wherever we go. We have some shopping to do so I'll have something to eat this coming week but really I don't need much after Monday because Tuesday is my fill and I have to be on liquids for 2 days after and then mushy for 2 days after that so that takes me to Saturday before I can eat something good. I hate getting fills for this reason but like the restriction I get from them. I'm not at full restriction but I have some. I just hope this fill does the trick. Well everyone have a good day and please don't bash me on this entry.