beversman

Steph - well, like I said... these people are friends only. No carefree dating for me just yet because I am too freakin scared to do it. It is nice to have the attention, but my life has not been carefree for one second I really dont know what to do with all of these people. It is a struggle to trust anyone farther than I can throw them. But I am TRYING... I know that I have to get out there and get over my fears and learn how to interact with people again. It is scarier than it is fun right now Booboo - awww honey. Im so sorry. Trust me. I know what you mean about losing the weight and NOT losing the troubles. My life is still very much a mess. I am just trying to get out and learn how to trust and have fun again. I think it sounds much more fun than it really is for me. I like to tell the stories. But I am still not fixing all of the problems that I have in my head. I am trying though. Sweet - haha, yeah... I am a tobacco farm girl. Kind strange to meet another farmer that turned out as weird as I did. I want to go out with him and he asked me, but I am scared to do it. He said he understood and was going to keep right on talking to me til he talked me into it. He is a determined little farmer... wish I could forget about the idiots in my past and just say "sure lets have coffee" - now, im sitting here wondering if he is married and from another country. poor guy, i just want to give him a break, but that is what I did with the EX-husband and look at where that got me. Ugh, the weight is soooo not the problem... now I know my messed up head needs the attention

STEPH - No, I think I put an end to his Polish "lover boy" ways - that and he is back in Poland now. So, hopefully he is with his wife... where he should be! the sexy freak! My Marine called me again this weekend a few times. I hadn't heard from him since before Thanksgiving. His phone apparently had some issues and he had to replace it. I told him all about the idiot Polish man. He said he otta kick that guys ass... ha. I have a feeling that my Marine is gonna end up being just a really awesome friend. He and his brother both are just wonderful, good-natured people to have around watching out for ya. I love them to death. My marine just has too much going on and is too far away to think about anything else. We both have lives to live. ya know? I am ok with that though. He is a great guy. So, glad I've made the new friend. Um, I have another new male friend I've recently made too. I won't go into too many details yet, but he is a graduated from college with honors in English, just like me -- is a writer just like me, same music tastes, same sense of humor, even grew up on a tobacco farm like me. We have a ton in common, but I just met him. So, I will report back in a few weeks to let you know how the new friendship is progressing You can never have too many new, interesting (intellectual) friends. Finally someone to discuss Literary Criticism! :clap2: yeah! (yeah... me = nerd) I saw my lowest number on the scale so far 175! That puts me down a total of 92 lbs. Ive been super strict with my diet again, and the results are finally starting to show. I just have to get my discipline back that I had this time LAST year! I think I will recreate the liquid/medifast diet from now til my December 22nd Bandiversary! Take THAT belly fat! SweetHot - love your NSVs!! hehe, your so funny and so happy you are sticking to the running! you go girl! VABAND - HELL YES! Congrats on the job girl, THAT is the Christmas present you've been looking for! nikki - hope the new computer comes real soon! bkwalling - way to go on the seminar! I would LOVE to go do that. i think I am going to a support group meeting this Saturday booboo - how are those finals coming??

Here is what I wrote back for those of you who want to know. I was nice about it. Not really my place to lecture him, and it is not like he would have listened anyway! :-) So, here is my very nice answer. Szymon, Well, allow me to politely decline. I am a very respectable woman with tremendous amount of class. I could not in good conscience accept your offer... out of respect for both you and your wife. It is too bad that you are married. You were such a pleasure to talk to.... refreshing, confident, very educated, informed. You are very inquisitive and insightful. It was very nice carrying on a conversation with someone that possessed those qualities. I am not sorry I said yes. Just disappointed that I won't have the opportunity to sit and chat with you again. I wish you luck in your search. I am sure if you check out a few local clubs tonight and tomorrow... you will find your type of lucky lady before you leave. She would be crazy to say "no" right? Unfortunately for you, yes, I am crazy. And, the answer is still a firm "no" It was a pleasure meeting you. --Brandi

Ahhh, yes... a good story THAT is ALL that it was though... just a good story for a later date As much as it is funny to make a joke about it with people I know. I would never seriously do it. Honestly, I wouldn't have had a one night stand with the guy even if he was single. (YEAH, I know... crazy) I value myself WAY to much to do anything like that. It is just awfully funny. If he'd acutally been single. he would have been too much of the "would like to snag him permanently" type. Those are the ones you have to take your time with if you want any respect from them what-so-ever. So, he was in trouble either way. He picked the WRONG girl to pick up if that was all he was wanting... I am much to good for all of that. Although... to think that I can tell people I turned all THAT down. hmmmmm.... makes you reevaluate your power as a woman! Take THAT Mr. Cambridge University!

(first of all totally agree with all of you giving him the big thumbs down. Like you said, if he does it to her... he'd do it to me. I TOTALLY agree :clap2: ) OK, PART 3 So I emailed him and asked him if I misunderstood. I just read the email that he sent back! Um, no i did NOT misunderstand. I had it EXACTLY right. He informed me that he didn't want to accidently say it later if we had wine and he wanted to be honest. (ha) He also said he is not a good husband. (um, yeah) THEN, he said that he had been instantly attracted to me and was competely enchanted by my character, intellect, and charm. He wished "only" to give me (in his own words) "a night of extremely intense pleasure" :faint: OK. Emergency! Where are the rich, successful, handsome, sexually charged, SINGLE men??? Because I either need one of THEM RIGHT NOW... or a damn cigarette. Jeeezzzzzz -- this is the most I've ever kicked myself in the pants for doing the right thing. [brandi does chant inside her own head] You WILL say no. You WILL say no. You WILL say no. You WILL say yes..... Oops! I mean... You WILL say no. You WILL say no. hahahahahahah, well... at least i know what kind of SINGLE guys I should be shooting for. He was much different than the LAME, Broke-Ass, Ignorant, CHILDISH men that I have to choose from down here. I definitely need to start getting out to the more "posh" upclass type scenes. I could catch quite a keeper... i do believe. He has opened my eyes to a whole new world. I need to start raising the bar when it comes to my expectations. I need to be heading to the up-class martinni bars. Not to the hole in the walls that I tend to gravitate towards. I liked that glimpse of wealth, intelligence, and charm. even if despite it all, he is still just a horny man. UGH :faint: Can someone order me a cold shower... please. :phanvan

Alright... PART 2 I left out the part where I gave the guy my email.... This was before I found out about the married part. I didnt want to give him my cell. I thought email was pretty safe. So, HE EMAILED ME! He wants to take me out on Friday night... so THAT sums up his intentions. Let me emphasize... I am going to say "NO" - because I would never do that. BUT Ok, so I decided to google the guy. To see if he was an axe murderer…. I found his professional website…. He was totally being honest about his job and everything! Check out what this guy does: here are his job titles. His name is Szymon First of all he went to Cambridge University (isn’t that IVY league?) Manager at GE Company Poland Division - Rotating Parts Engineering Supervisor at GE CP - Poland Analysis Technology Manager at GE CP - Poland :eek: Heat Transfer and Fluid System Design Team Leader at Warsaw (Poland) Institute of Aviation :eek: Teaching Assistant at Department of Thermodynamics and Fluid Mechanics at Politechnika Swietokrzyska :eek: Um, damn! Talk about impressive. And he thought I was the intelligent and “refreshing” one Why did someone with THAT kind of resume have to be married?? … talk about being successful. LIFE IS SO UNFAIR! I even found his picture online! ha (I am quite the investigator) Here it is! In front of one of his nuclear powered jet engine creations! :eek: http://static1.goldenline.pl/user_photo/157/user_23965_d16bc1_huge.jpg Tell me WHY I have morals and wont date married man??? PLEASE! because I am starting to think I might be a freaking idiot. haha OMG ladies my brain is gonna explode... this is like saying "no, I don't want a rich, powerful, intelligent, good-looking man to take me out for an incredibly expensive dinner." Oh wait that is EXACTLY what I am having to say.... UGH! :faint:

ok, story of the week... I went for a "fill" @ my band Dr. - last night over in Cincinnati. So, on my way home I stopped by the mall because I needed to go to Victoria Secret. Well, the freakin' mall didnt have one! What the heck?? I though every mall did! ANYWAY This tall handsome looking man walked past me as I was getting ready to walk out and totally turned around and checked me out. Looked from my feet all the way up and made complete eye contact. TOTALLY noticed it... and I don't usually notice anything! Well, he went into the shop in front of me.... I was on my way out of the mall because they obviously didnt have the store I wanted. I decided to stop in this little shop next to the exit to look around. I looked for a few minutes (totally not paying attention) Then, I turn around AND THERE IS THE MAN! Standing there with a smile on his face.... He asks, (in a thick accent I had not yet determined.. my best guess was Russian) "Excuse me, but have we met before?" Um, that my ladies was what they call a pick up line... haha It worked for a minute.... He advised me he was from Poland. Which I got a kick out of because obviously... we had NOT met before. He asked me if I would have coffee with him. There was a shop right next door (in the mall). I decided what the heck... and said "yes." He was extremely well spoken, intelligent, and charming. Found out he is an engineer for General Electric (GE) and has been here in the States on business for the last 11 months. (so pretty much... um, he was loaded). We sat and talk politics, religion, social, racial, issues for over an hour. THEN, I found out he was married! (of course all married men ask young women to have coffee with them!) For cripes sake!!! ...married, gay, unemployed, or psychotic -- the totally hot ones that have any interest in me (and make a move) ALWAYS have something majorly wrong with them. It made my nice new accquaintance into a total creep. ugh, men! And what is it about me attracting European males?? I must have some kind of vibe I put out that gets them all worked up! The American guys don't give me the time of day! haha

WOW hot mamma! I know it makes you cringe, but isnt it awesome to realize how far you've come... sometimes it takes those "forgotten" pictures to make us actually see it! AWESOME job! Like SweetHot said... doesn't look like the same person!

I want to see it too!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Enjoy your family and friends. Love you all :-)

Boo - I sent ya a note on yahoo :scared: Nikki - dont worry about that baby as long as YOU ARE TAKING YOUR VITAMINS! haha :fish: Just keep eating away - healthy nutrient filled foods and you will be fine! so, happy for you. Oh! and dont worry about my marine. I was a little disappointed, but not upset. I asked him two nights ago. "What is it about me that you enjoy talking to me so much?" He kind of paused (you could tell he was thinking) and said, "I dont know that I can be sure. I just know that I always enjoy the conversation and I find myself looking forward to talking to you each day." Hhhmmmmm... ok, I will take that. Well, slow will be the only way this goes. I will have one chance to see him over his Christmas leave (Dec 18th) Then, he is off to regular duty and could be gone for TWO years. He just may have to be someone else's chocolate covered Marine I've got a new friend out of it. I will take that. I am not disappointed in that. He is an awesome person. I am glad I gave him a chance to show me that. Steph - I am so sorry about you friend. That must be difficult for you and your friends family. during the holidays too... that only makes it tougher. You meal sounds delicious. We are having turkey, mashed potatoes and my favorite turkey/sage STUFFING - YUM! There is plenty of other things we are having but I am going to only be eating those... probably not many potatoes either. I am going for the turkey and stuffing! Oh, and I am making sugar free - no crust pumpkin pie! mmmmm..... yum

hey, found out my marine friend wont actually be able to make it home this next weekend. He volunteered to stay and work over the holiday to take care of things at the base. So, he won't be home until Christmas. Which is cool. So, I DO get to spend the weekend sleeping away on the couch... HA! I am so lazy. Love ya ladies! Boo you look fabulous! so glad you had a good time with Claud and the book offers sound amazing! Transformer I am so glad the home schooling is working out. Keep us updated... you son sounds like an incredibly smart young man!

Sweethot -- I am very proud of him. He is doing it for all the right reasons. To better himself, his life, and his country. I sent him an email on monday... i'd been watching a special on TV about the Marines and what they do. It just got me thinking. So, I sent him a note just to let him know that I was proud of his decision and I knew that his family had to be proud of him as well. I just thought it needed to be stated outloud. :-) I agree with you about the drinking and the womanizing! If I were them, I wouldn't want to be worried about some girl that I just met back in the states. They sometimes don't know if they are going to live or die. I certainly understand the whole "living for today" mindset. I guess not all of them are that way, but they must be strong souls! He is certainly growing on me. I found myself looking forward to his phone call last night which is different. I avoided them for almost two weeks when he first started calling. (yeah, i know bad Brandi) I figured if he WAS just interested in a booty call that he would eventually give up. However, he didn't give up and his persistence has paid off! (for now) He has been calling me once or twice a day for the last week. We don't talk about too many serious things or for a terribly long time. But it is still more than I talk to anyone else. I think he just really likes having someone to listen and dicuss things that are NOT marine related. and also to likes to have someone to tell about the things he is seeing and experiencing too. I've always been a good listener. So, he made a wise choice I suppose. I will know more after I get to see him again in person next weekend. We are getting together on Friday and Saturday of next week. So, yes... i AM giving him a big 'ol fat chance. Which is a big deal, this is the first guy that has managed to get me to do that. All of these other guys that have sniffed around my life didn't really stand a fighting chance thanks to my rocky past. I had a brickwall up about 5 miles thick and no desire to knock it down for any of them. The jury is still definitely out on this one. But the man is making some small progress. I will have to keep you all updated.

Steph the pics worked perfectly!! Look at the change girl! you look amazing SweetHot -- honey, I am so sorry about your hubby, and no... I feel the same way about sending these men and women over there too. I support those troops 100% but I sometimes wonder about the decisions behind putting them in harms way. They don't get to decide when or why they go. It is alot to think about. This very thing has been on my mind alot lately - with making my new marine friend. Even as a new friend, it is hard to think about him being gone for a year or more and in harm's way. I don't know how any of those men over there maintain relationships. It must be very difficult. If they are lucky enough to have created a family or found a wife/family beforehand... there is always love there, but for the young guys trying to meet somebody after they've enlisted. Well, all I can figure is they must just have to put those kinds of things off. It is a lonely life for many of them. No wonder the single ones drink so much and end up sleeping around with women they shouldn't. They sacrifice not only their safety, but their chance to start families and lives... Be strong girl :-) If worse comes to worse, your husband has a good family there at home to warm his heart and keep him strong. However, I will pray he doesn't get sent over there.

Steph!!! you look amazing girl! I would love to see the before pics next to it... i can already tell the change is completely dramatic, but it would be incredible to see it side by side! I dont blame your mom a bit for hanging it up! WAY TO GO! p.s. I love those shoes! Claud and BOOBOO -- Hey hot mamma! have a couple drinks or 10 for me too! You are both gonna have so much fun! enjoy the meet-up!

Ok, funny story. So, my marine called today. And we talk a few minutes - then, tells me he has to shave (of all things) and will call right back. So, like an hour + passes and he never calls back. So, being the punk that I am. I proceed to send a couple sarcastic text messages to his cell saying "did you have to mine the iron-ore and smelt the razor blade yourself?" and some other funny crap about how scruffy his face must really be. I sent three of them. Well, like 15 minutes later I get this phone call from him... He's like do you know where I just was? I said "no" Apparently, he was in "formation" - a nightly thing... kind of like role call only they must stand at perfect attention and not move until it is completely finished. Well, he had his cell phone is his front pocket... on vibrate. HA!!! He was standing there for 15 minutes with me sending him text messages... his little, um... "pocket" was just a vibrating away and he couldn't so much as move a muscle to turn the thing off! talk about losing your concentration!!!! :heh: He said he knew it was me too and was just standing there thinking he was gonna kill me. (not really, he was laughing as well) I was rolling on the floor laughing... it was hilarious. That is one to send into that reader's digest "humor in uniform" HA!!

Thank you my sexy claud!

I'm back and just wanted to say HI to everyone. at work and dont have much time right now to post. But wanted to say thank you to everyone for all the nice things you had to say about my picture. I don't think I looked too bad either. Had a young man there that was "very interested" in me. He was gorgeous too. I went to high school with him BACK in the day. Anyway, I behaved myself. BUT I got hammered. It wasn't flattering (in my own mind). I don't like to get that drunk, but this young man was pouring my drinks VERY strong all night. I am dumb enough to keep drinking them. I managed to lose my cell phone! Had my old one turned back on... so no big deal. Hated that phone anyway, but I felt stupid that I'd gotten drunk enough to lose it. Ah well, I had fun. Hope I didn't make too much of an ass out of myself. I will find out as the stories start reporting back in... it is a small town. Probably would have already heard if there were any real good ones. Talk to ya all later :-) --Brandi

Hey girls! I am going to an "after Halloween" Halloween party tonight. thought I would send you a picture of me in my skanky goth girl attire! hehe - it is my first time in fishnets! hahahaha Thought you all would get a kick out of it :-) I've got a big black trench coat that goes with it and little devil horns... oh and big fake eyelashes! I am such a dork! I love dressing up for Halloween (even if it is already over). There is a picture of my sexy black makeup I'm wearing too... Im EVIL i tell ya.:rockon:

Aw, derrick thank you for saying so :-) you too Booboo Trust me though... there are plenty of places that it is hiding. I am just very good at covering them up. It will be a slow road but I will get them eventually! Steph! hahaha the chocolate fountain. I haven't seen that commercial yet! Speaking of chocolate covered things! ha! I talked to my marine again last night :-) I am liking him the more I talk to him. Last night he called me from their Marine Ball -- imagine THAT a black tie affair with 100's of sexy ass marines... DAMN. Wish I could have just seen THAT! I decided to lay the cards on the table. I told him that I wasn't interested in a "on leave" booty call. He started laughing and said, "Is THAT what you thought I wanted?" Apparently, he thought it was cute that I thought that, but he CLAIMS to be legitimately interested in my sparkling personality. sooooo, hhhhhmmmm.......:phanvan again, he was at the ball alone... no woman/date. He came back at the end of the night and gave me a call before he went to bed... again, seemed to be alone. No - hoochie mammas to be seen or heard. He did have quite a bit to drink before the end of it too (ha), but even then he was behaving himself.... maybe he is a nice guy... I even told him that I told all of you about him... haha. He thought that was funny too. I told him when he comes in town that he is NOT off the hook. He is going to have to take me out on a REAL date. I nice time. He is going to have to put some effort into all of this. Soooo... I don't think I can get any more straight forward than that. I may just have to dip his sexy self in chocolate after all. HA! at least i'm giving him a chance. Even if it comes with me giving him a hard time. He will make an awesome friend regardless.

Congratulations girl! I've lost weight but, unfortunatley NOT near goal yet but i don't miss those 90 pounds! Cant wait until I can say that I reached my goal too though. So, glad you checked in... we are all still here and going strong!

OMG! I always freeze now... it is ridiculous! What am i gonna do when the REAL cold weather gets here? My heating bill is gonna be outrageous! At least i am not that only one that is noticing that all of my "insulation" is missing. haha

"Morning Wood" My friend named his boat that because it is a replica of a 1920's racer... and when you take off in it... it stands straight up in the front (ha) and according to him any man that see's it in the early morning would also, um "take hard notice" -- the boat IS a total turn on. ha

Well, I don't know if I am back or not - i hope I can do it again and it wasn't a "one time" thing. I feel a little sore today. I think I will walk tonight and that is it... no running. Then, tomorrow... I will go for the run again. I don't want to overdo it like I did before and mess up my knee. Your right though it did make me feel alot better. I wish this Marine lived closer. I know he would whip my bod into shape! I could make him take me running and exploit his well trained butt! Turn him into my own personal trainer. :-) THAT would rock. I might be able to half way keep up now. ---------------------- Nat - congrats on the NSVs honey! I totally notice when I lay down at night or any time I hold my legs together... the bones are touching at my knees! Who knew there were bones there!?!? I think it is funny to notice those little things that everyone else would never think of! I LOVE holding my knees up in front of my now and wrapping my arms around them! It is my favorite way to sit now that I can actually do it! hehe - i soooo understand! tranformer - OMG PMSL! better fantasy than your belly flap!? I almost pee'd myself when I read that... I often sit around and think about mine... hehe! only soooo funny because I knew what you were talking about! HA! I like to move mine around in the mirror and see what it looks like with it gone. SweetHot - Yeah, I've never even seen him in his uniform to be honest. I met him in Indianapolis at a concert and he was "out of uniform" -- I was really unimpressed with the whole Marine thing at the time. I think that is what threw him off the most. He probably likes to use it to pick up the ladies and I was more interested in all the weight he lost and his life than I was in the marine stories. I will give the guy a chance and see what he comes up with... not like I have any other offers on the table right now. haha VAband - Did you get ahold of your doc for your fill under floro?? I know you've been worried about it :-) How is the job hunt coming? Would a chocolate covered marine cheer you up?? hehe Steph - That is a crazy Alaska story :Banane34: but not so crazy if you are me. I had a similar situation - only with England. THAT is why I shy away from ANY long distance anything. I have this part of my brain that thinks they are all con-men and liars covered in a sweet chocolate disguise. You get past the chocolate and "suprise"..... not so sweet. So, not to worry. No hastey decisions to be made here. I know better. In fact, I tend to worry that I will do the exact opposite anymore and completely ignore a good guy instead. Other than "cuddle time" with my best friend Eric. I haven't even wanted to be anywhere near a guy. I like things that are familiar and being with someone that actually cares about me. I'm to a point in my life where I've moved past evening desiring a random "booty call." Is THAT possible? haha. yeah, sadly it is. BooBoo - and AirForce man huh? Us women are all a bunch of suckers for a man in a uniform aren't we??? damn, they can look so freakin good! hahaha - the jerks. Wish women had an outfit like that. No matter what you look like... you put it on and stop men dead in their tracks. Nikki - So glad our bundle of joy is doing well. Where were you from again? Congrats on your SIZE 14! Isn't it amazing when you realize you've made a mistake like THAT. I can actually eat rice (brown rice). Just in very small amounts. I can't eat bread though... not after this last fill. THAT would be the death of me. Bannannie - OMG 150's... that is still just a dream to me. I thought i would be there by now too! CONGRATULATIONs you've actually figured out how to do it! so proud of you baby girl. Cant wait for the day that I make it that far. That had to feel wonderful to see that number on the scale. How is the prep for plastic surgery going? i know it is coming up soon. i am so happy for you! you are such a success girl! (HUGS) LOVE YA! Kaydot - Body bug!!!! If you hear of a sale, PLEASE let me know. How is it going? You still loving yours? I want one soooo badly. I would love to see what all my running actually amounted to last night. See how many calories I actually burned! Thinde! hey mamma!! so glad to see you back on the board keeping up with our crazy butts :-) we missed you! I totally freaked out when I couldnt see the board for a whole day! AGGHH! Even when I dont post, I have to read to keep up with everyone! JillRn! - hey to you to mamma!! glad your are checking in - you have anything chocolate covered and yummy in your life right now?? haha - these crazy ladies have been cracking me up!

Hello all! OMG :confused: I don't know where it came from but I went out to walk tonight. I went a mile at a fast walk. Then, I thought "wow, I feel really good and warmed up. I want to run" So, I started running.... and running... and running... I felt like Forest Freaking Gump! I just kept right on going! I ran a mile and a half straight! out of the blue... no stopping! Did a total of 4.5 miles tonight! It was crazy! I just never got winded. My legs were actually tired before I got out of breath! It was great... I've NEVER had that happen before EVER. The most I cold go at a time was about a 1/3 of a mile. Then, I'd have to walk a bit before I ran again. THIS TIME... I just kept right on trucking! It felt amazing! I felt like I could have ran forever! And the things is I came home did my ab work and a big cool down and stretching and right now (I am tired) but I feel GREAT. No knee trouble... I just feel like I need a good nights sleep! Maybe my body has finally "caught up" with the changes. Everyone keeps telling me it has to "reset" itself... I sure hope this in an indication that it is doing that. Stupid freakin body. -------------------------- HAHAHA! you are cracking me up with the chocolate!! How on earth did my Marine get chocolate covered?? I think SweetHot had something to do with THAT! hahahaha BUT I must admit... mmmmmmmm if that is REECE's chocolate and peanut butter... OMG, heck with a date. I would say "I do" in a minute!! (j/k hehe) You all know how I am about Reece's chocolate and peanut butter... marine or no marine. He could be buck-toothed, and hump-backed!! I'd still take him if he was covered in THAT chocolate goodness! hehehe Well, I think this guy is too young and having "too much fun" for me to take him seriously. As sweethot was saying "drinking... womanizing" I just have this feeling. He is soooo good-looking (and loves to go out and have fun) and the girls around the military bases stalk those Marines like wild-animals. But I know for a fact he went home alone this weekend becuase he was calling me at 3AM to talk on the phone. I guess I should give him a chance to do wrong instead of assuming he is that way. BUT heck, I will just have to do some thinking. It could be an awfully memorable Thanksgiving Weekend. [blush] haha. I talk alot of crap, but I tend to be a good girl. I guess we will have to see how well he "works his sexy, muscled, ripped, chiseled, marine-uniformed magic" on me. I will have to just remember to bring the chocolate! hahaha Love ya all! Good Nite!