beversman

BK -- Im 5'8''... I have often wondered if my goal is a bit unrealistic...I think it might be a bit too low. I don't want to look sickly either. The charts at the Dr office say 140 is right in the middle of "healthy" BUT I dont know if I buy that or not. Ladies... I ate like 1800 calories the other day... and low and behold the scale moved down. WHAT THE HECK!? Sometimes I dont think understand weightloss in the slightest. Just when i think I have it figured out... I guess maybe there are times when we just need to eat more.

Questions: Stretching your pouch... now is that something that you can do easily? like you over-eat ONE time? Or is it something that you do over a period of weeks? over eating repeatedly? Can you stretch it if you drink too much Fluid to fast? or is it only with solids? Everytime I think I might have had a bite too much i freak out. Just wanted some clarification that will (hopefully) keep me from worrying so much.

i did have that one oatmeal cookie on Monday. But that was it! I am not a candy person anyway.... It is just my arch nemisis the Reece Cup and "calls" to me "eat me brandi... eat me!!!!"

OMG... i am so gonna be bad and eat... just ONE... but I WILL eat a Reece Peanut Butter Egg... Those things are devine... HA! Figured it was best to be honest. We will see when Sunday gets here... I may feel really guilty and not do it. However, I think since i havent had a single bite of candy since December 4th. I should be allowed to have a bite. Maybe I'm just weak :phanvan Should i be talking myself out of this? Damn Reece Cups. :angry

I did the same thing. I think we all probably did. Every meal was like "THE LAST MEAL!" You are definitely just like most of us here :-)

Things are better today... now I am trying to decide if i am truly too tight or if I was just eating way to fast and got what I deserved. I tried to eat this morning... just to see if it was ok. Things seemed to go down just fine. I think I was just severely swollen from throwing up... Now, i dont know wether to cancel the unfill or go ahead and take a little out. I think I might cancel it. I am confused. My scale says 205 this morning! What the hell is that? How can I gain when I am not eating? (im frustrated)... I dont get it.

Congratulations Julie!! Banannie... uuggghhh, i know. I wish I saw that as positive right now. I just want some freakin food. I feel pretty weak lately. I think I havent been eating enough. I was eating more before and exercising. Now, I am just not eating very much. Still losing yes, but is it healthy? THAT Ive been a bit concerned about the last 3 weeks or so. I think I need to be able to eat a bit more and then get some of my energy back. I dont want to lose muscle.

So, i got stuck on a piece of chicken last night. Threw it up... thank god. Thought I was gonna die. I'd fixed the whole meal for my family, and then got stuck on the FIRST bite. i didnt get to eat a damn bit of the meal I spent 3 hours cooking. So, then later i thought potato soup is warm and should go down. NO! I cant even get down potato soup. So, Im hungry... and pissed. My dr. could have done the unfill this morning, but I have to work and cant go... so i have to stay on liquids until tomorrow night to get my unfill. This sucks... I am so hungry and this protein shake that is gurgling down is NOT cutting it. PISSED!:angry

Claud - I am excited for you too!! We will have to go take over Chi-town together some day... I love Chicago. I know your gonna blow your friend away. Ignore those people that make comments. That person was acting like a B*tch. Not cool to anticipate someones failure. I think many people secretly wish for us to fail. Not to be mean. Just becuase they cant accomplish something so wonderful themselves... and they are jealous. Skinny, fat... they all have short comings... and they feel better when others fail... makes them not feel so bad about themselves when others dont accompish their goals. THAT doesnt make it right. Show them up girl!! we are gonna beat this! Steph - yeah, he's a musician. I should send you a picture. HA. Then you'd know who I was talking about. I was good friends with one of his friends. We were introduced. The friend left, and he and I have been close ever since. Thats why we are going to Milwuakee in May. They are playing some huge two day concert up there and he has to take his Brandi with him. :-) Its got its perks. ha. Lots of excuses to travel. and I am well protected by big beastly metal heads when I do have time to go. (but secretly they are all big teddy bears). They know groupies, girlfriends, and bass players... they come and go but Brandi is family. bkwalling - haha... my scale jumps all at once... it goes weeks and then BOOM. I'm waiting for a BOOM. I guess that means I shouldnt have eaten that oatmeal cookie earlier today. My FIRST cookie!! It was pretty good, but a few more pounds down would be better. damn cookie!

woooo.... im back. Crazy weekend in Indianapolis... :-) had a blast, Eric and I "was just like peas and carrots..." hahaha Nothing happened with him (this time) for those inquiring minds that might want to know. We were well behaved. Although, he did ask me early in the evening on Saturday if i would like to take advantage of him. I made light of it though and told him "you only wish you were that lucky" and didnt say what i wanted to... "yes" ha But I am exhuasted - I need a day to recover. He is going on tour the 20th of April and asked me to come with him for a few days on the road. So, I will be up around Michigan for a few days later this month. Mini-road trip. THAT should be fun. ---------------------- As far as weight loss goes. I am stuck at 200... It yoyos up to 202 then back down... back up... back down. I think I need a fill. I should have gotten one last week, but I decided to wait and just make sure before I got one. I am having trouble remembering to eat, but when I do, I can put away quite a bit of food. I just need like .1 or .2 CCs just to "top her off." ----------------------- Thanks for the congrats Ms Jen! All of these ladies are kicking some ass with the weight loss. You've come to a good spot. We are down to business on this thread. :-)

Jill - i am so glad she was ok. That is something that could happen to any of us. You have my prayers for her as well. vaband - give us a synposis of the show. I wasnt able to watch it and would love to know what they had to say. I still think we could all get a spot on one of these shows to tell our stories!

I wish I thought I was sexy. I was a big girl even in high school. Guys never gave me a second glance. They made fun of me everyday of my life and turned me into a closed-up, messed-up girl. When i met my ex-husband, he made me feel sexy. People told me I just glowed. I'd never felt that way before. Of course, the bastard left... so much for that confidence. But to just feel that way walking down the street. I don't know how to do that. I can't see it! maybe in another 30 lbs or so... It is all in my head. I've been working on that too. It needs fixed just as much as the outside. My doc doesnt have a goal for me... i think mine is probably too low. 150 or 160 might be healthier... but I will see when I get there. According to all those stupid weight charts at the Dr. office 140 should be fine. But I dont want to look like a skeleton either.

ok, so bad news... had another stomach virus yesterday... YUCK! I went home at noon from work, went to bed, and didnt wake up until about 5am this morning... It was horrible. BUT I think I am over it. thank goodness. now GOOD news... Due to not eating for 24 hours or drinking... my scale said 199.5 !!! Onederland!!! yeah!! Now, I know im dehydrated and as soon as I eat, It will probably bounce up a pound or two, but it was pretty awesome to see that number on the scale regardless of how it got there. -------- VaBand -- congrats on the loss!! I love how just a couple lbs on a stupid scale and make us so much happier... way to go! Claud -- happy bday to your daddy! and if I were you, I'd be getting excited about the trip to Chicago too!! You can show them all what the new improved Claudia looks like... :-) Steph -- shopping is much more fun than painting. I think you made the correct decision.. hehehe And I;ve had 5 fills so far... so indeed! dont be shy... get to that sweet spot girl! plus you get to see the Dr. more often... haha bkwall -- hope the fill is working out well... you will find out once you start putting some real food in there... go slowly :-)

Yeah, I dont have trouble eating either... I am just never hungry. I literally have to make it a point to MAKE myself eat. And Ive been eating higher calorie foods when I do to make sure i get enough. I drink 3 or 4 glasses of 2% milk... which before would have been too much... but now it helps me get enough calories in. I love milk. Plus it helps me get my Calcium. That is good to hear... that this just happens. I wont worry so much anymore. :-) STEPH!! HAHAHA Shedding my winter coat... hehe... that cracked me up.

hhmmmm... I've also heard that before. That is a good point to bring up. Then. if not protein, (that's the cause i read most of the time) why is my hair falling out?? :bolt: I journal everyday... and i can't figure out what it is that I'm missing. Had anyone heard what else could cause this?

hello everyone!!! looks like we are all finally checking in! Nat and Kay -- we miss you! Claud -- love you girl. You are always so positive :-) I dont know how you do it. but I love it. I finally got back into my elliptical grove. I havent been using one since mine broke a few weeks ago... So, enough was enough.... went and did my 30 min today... and did weight training for another 45min. Tomorrow 30 more elliptical and and hour of Yoga... Got to get back in focus. Is anyone else having a hard time getting enough food in??? I know im not too tight but I think I must not be getting enough protein. I am geting 70g-80g+ a day... but as of last week I started losing hair... BIG time. Ive always lost quite a bit in the shower, but now it is very noticeable. I think I must not be getting something... but I thought for sure I was getting my protien. Ive been trying to eat more... maybe it takes awhile to stop falling out once you go heavy on the protein again...

Nope. I couldnt see it at all. I didnt think there was anyway that I could fit into them. To me, I still look the same size I did 3 months ago. :-) stupid brain. It was nice. Made me smile... i was suprised.

I bought two new pair of pants today. NSV! Size 14... and there was plenty of room in them. I can shop in the "normal" size section now... I dont think I could even do that in high school... haha It's crazy how your brain still sees you "bigger" --- I looked at those pants in the dressing room and thought... "there is no way these things are going to even go on...." Sure enough... my brain was wrong. They slid right on. Now I guess I have to admit that I really cant see the changes.

You will soon have a very different definition of Normal :-)

Oh yes girl... i know what you mean. I am at the stage right now where ive lost enough that people are really noticing... but I still think I have a long way to go.... and i don't know what to do about it. Somebody called me "skinny minny" today. Did I take the compliment?? NO. I said, "well... I'm certainly not there yet, but thanks for noticing." I definitely need to learn how to just say "thank you." I have no idea how to take men hitting on me... or compliments in general. It does feel good, but it has also been scaring the crap out of me. I feel like a deer in headlights. I still see myself as huge. I really dont see much difference between this and 65lbs ago. I know its there, but my brain won't allow me to see it. So, no... you are certainly not alone. :-)

I must be a nerd becuase I cracked up... haha

:-) Thats what I said... the food gets stuck in the pouch and saliva comes out. You're producing extra and it can't get through the full pouch. At least that is what I mean... I must not have said it clearly, but i was thinking it. trust me been there done that...sliming. I gonna google me some MMA. I think I feel a new obsession coming on. I have alot of pent up aggression and it would sure be fun to work it out by knocking a few heads. hhmmm... or maybe learning discipline to become a more centered, peaceful person would be the better option.

I know what you mean. Don't feel like your the only one. I've been getting more attention lately, and to be honest... i don't have a clue what to do with it. It is scary. :-) i think it will take our brains much longer to adjust than our bodies.

PB is when you physically gag and cough up something. A productive burp. It can be Water, saliva, but usually food is involved. Sliming is when it just gets stuck and wont go down... but it doesnt come back up either. Then, the saliva wont go down either and kind of leaks out. Attractive huh? -------------------- As far as my little bro, I've tried all of those approaches with him. It is such a hard subject to bring up. He did want to do marital arts with me. I too am a big MMA (mixed martial arts) fan -- I'd love to be the first woman in the UFC -- I would love to learn Muay Thai and Brazilian Jujitsu. He DID want to do that with me, but i cant find any place that I can afford to get both of us to go. I need to work on that. We can kick ass and lose weight together. Steph your son and I have alot in common. I may have to kick his ass one day.. haha.. when i get fit and lethal. ------------------- I don't know how everyone at work found out about my surgery. I told no one. So, I have not been able to figure out where it started. It makes me so mad... people talking about me. Oh well, let them talk. ------------------- I saw my cousin today who is an ex-model... and gorgeous. She claims that she's gained weight recently (I cant see it) She said she is around 150, and she is shorter than I am.... She looks stick thin. I don't know where she could possibly be keeping extra weight. So, I decided I may be stretching it with the 140 goal. I think 150 or 160 is proabably more doable. I guess I will figure that out when I get there. I sure did feel huge next to her though. She is so beautiful and has the perfect body. She's had two kids, but she still seems like she is in perfect shape. I know what I want to look like at some point. I saw the size now. It seems so far away. I can't wait until I look like that. (sigh)

It is called Kehr's Sign http://en.allexperts.com/e/k/ke/kehr's_sign.htm It will happen when you over eat... I get it from time to time. Or if you have something with carbonation... or something that makes you gasy... You dont feel it in your stomach. It will pop up in your shoulder. I dont have it much anymore now that i am about 3 months out. I had it more right after my surgery.