beversman

I just scheduled myself another fill for tomorrow. Gonna curb this growling belly that ive had the past few days. I need just a little bit of help. Welcome back Sassy!! We are all right here where you left us :-)

heck yeah steph... Tummy Tuck, brachioplasty... breast lift... and brazilian butt lift! I need a booty!! I say hell.. if I messed up this body, why not fix her? Wish I was rich!

hey CLAUD!!! Go rock his world girlfriend!! have a blast in chicago!

Hey Nat... I posted my friends (Erics) pic in Yahoo if you want to see it... ha! (since ya you mentioned it) I only had one non-band type photo here with me. I put a couple from his shows just for the laughs... ha. He looks like Steve-o from that stupid MTV show "Jackass." I always told him, "it figures... out of all the celebrities, you'd look most like a jackass." ha

Nat - HA! Are you freakin kidding me??? And these assholes here want the exact opposite!! Men are jerks. Why is it no matter the culture we are always catering to THEIR ideals. AND why is it that mens ideals are always the EXACT opposite of the reality of the situation. There they have no food. Reality is they will be skinny. What do the men want? Fat! Here we have too much food. Reality is we tend to be heavy. What do the men want? Skinny! Geeeezus... I hate the fact that if I really sit down and think about it. Yes, I want to be healthy... but am I taking myself down to 140 lbs for me?? or for everyone else?? I could lie to myself and say it is all for me, but part of it is for what other think of me. Wish I'd known about this place... I'd have been one hot mamma too. Stupid men.

Thats the funny part... I havent lost much this month... I guess all in all its added up to about 4-5 lbs... but I think my body has been "readjusting" itself this month or something. It keeps yoyo'ing up and down, but my clothes are falling off. I havent been working out like I should or I would blame it on that. So, I couldnt tell you how or why I got smaller. I must somehow be converting the fat to muscle. Or it is just moving around. I hope it moves to my butt!!! God knows I could use one. I dont understand weightloss at all... just about the time I think Ive figured something out... I get confused all over again. This morning my scale said 200 again... so, heck if I know whats going on.

No way STEPH!! There is a huge difference in your face and shoulders... look at how your arms lay next to you... they are right against your body! Look at the first pic... they kind of stick out. That means something is disappearing... and i believe that something is YOU. BIG difference!! :clap2: Plus you have the big smile too! The pictures look awesome! Remember if your like me you wont be able to see the changes in your own pictures, but trust me I can see them in YOURS!

Steph, I just use Micrsoft' Paint (in all computers, under the accesories tab) to put them side by side... open the first pic with paint (right click, then go to "open with" and select paint). Then, resize it so it fits in the window (many times camera will have the pictures huge). Once paint is open with the pic in it go to "Image" then click on Stretch/skew -- type 50% in each box and it will reduce the pic down to a managable size... Then you just click on the side of the image (so you can drage the window open to make more space). You should end up with white space to the left of your pic. THEN I open the other pic by right clicking on it and opening it in it OWN paint window (you will have to paints running). Reduce the pic size the same as you did in the first... Then use your select tool (the rectangle) to copy just YOU. (Once you select the box, go to "edit" and "copy.") Then, go back to your first pic (the one with the white space) Go to "edit" and then "paste" You can then drag the second pic over next to the first and add text if you like underneath them :-) HA, boy I made that sound more complicated than it is. BUT THAT is how ya do it!! If you like email me your pics and I will do it for you!!! beversman@hotmail.com Luv ya to!! (by the way)

OMG -- NSV!!:clap2: I am wearing my new pants I just bought at the store!! Guess what size !?!?!?!? They are 12's!!!! They arent tight... my fat isnt buldging over the top or anything. They fit perfect!! I was with my mom, and she laughed at me because I could wait to get back to tell all of you. You're the only ones that will understand how great that it is! boo boo -- hehe, yeah. That scale and I have a love/hate relationship. If I didnt have it there everyday though I think I might cry. Im addicted to its digital abuse!! haha Nat!! Hey hon. I was wondering what happened I saw the partial post. Ha gotta luv them kids. I am glad to see you sounding so good. Dont worry about the novel girl. We love your posts! Glad you told your mother how things were too. Sometimes we have to be tough. Especially at first... when people arent used to it. We just have to tell them to back off. (hugs) glad your back in action girl! VAband -- i know what you mean about getting back into exercising... I have SUCKED it up the past month. I really need to get another elliptical. I should have some extra money this month. Maybe I will go get another one. I used the heck out of that thing when it was sitting in front of my face. This gym deal hasnt been working out this month. i just cant get myself to go down there. Not becuase I dont want to exercise, but because it is too far out of the way. (everything is too far away here.. ha) I am gonna try to start running every day. See how that works. I need to get back into my AB work. and my weights. BOY, i HAVE been slacking off. Everyone -- Thank you so much for the encouragment with my pictures. I'm glad you can all see the difference. I will just keep working my ass off and eventually I will get exactly where I want to be :-)

Nat, you crazy woman!! There you are. We've all been worried about you :-) I am so glad to see you prowling around again on LBT Missed you! Steph - Congrats on the pants and the 3 lbs!! way to go. I know all about the time of the month. I stepped on teh scale this past tuesday and it said I'd gained 10 lbs. I was at 207!! I freaked out and swore never to touch a Reeces Peanut Butter Eggs again!! (ha) Then Friday... TOM. Thank God! That was the first time I was happy she showed up. THAT was why the scale went crazy. Checked it yesterday 196. (sigh of relief) My body goes crazy about 3 days before. I cant believe it is possible to retain THAT much water. But we sure do. I bet your gonna be WAY down once this passes! You're kicking some bandster butt Ms Steph! booboo - so glad the hubby is doing better. I know you are having a very rough time. kaydot -- i went through that "not shopping in the plus sizes" to -- it is kind of crazy to know you can walk to that side of the store and look at the same clother everyone else does. I feel strange when I head that way still... like someones gonna stop me and be like, "ma'am are you sure you dont need to shop over THERE?" (ha) bkwall -- girl, the support group does sound good. It would be nice to have some people to talk face to face with... but ive gotten so used to being able to just talk to all of you! I wish I could just box you all up and ship you down here :-)

claud - ur bro is dead on. I drink bacardi on the rocks and order a glass of water with it.

I thought of mine in terms of a large 50lbs bag of dog food. 1 and 1/2 of those huge bags... I was shopping at the time and thought "damn!"

I didnt really have any pain at all... just was a little stiff

Everybody needs a little "Brandi" in their life... haha. (hence my first name) ha Yeah, I only drink once a week... maybe sometimes only every other week. Although, I always have a real, good time when I do. I keep it as a "treat" not as an every day thing.

Um, yeah, it definitely had something to do with it... now I cant have the beer... but mamma still has her drinks.

Dont worry. Your not alone. I'm in the same position right now. I really can't see the difference myself. I know there is a difference. I just can't see it. :-) So, I guess it isnt that abnormal. (i hope)

Well, on September 2, 2006 I got up kissed my husband good bye, said "i love you" and went to work... like any other day. I worked a half day and returned home at noon to find our car was not in the driveway. I thought he must have gone to my parents as we were planning on heading down there when i got home. I walked into my house to find my husband gone... All of his belongings gone. There was a note on our bed that said he was leaving and not coming back... that he didnt mean to hurt me, but was not brave enough to do this to my face. I dont remember much after reading it. I just remember the helpless feeling and I remember falling to me knees and literally throwing up. I never saw him again. So, in the midst of desperation and depression that followed. I knew I had to do something for myself. Something that would bring all of my emotions into focus on ME. I needed to keep myself busy and i knew the next year was going to be a blur. I had invested so much love, and time into another person (my husband) and I needed to learn how to invest that much in myself. So, I decided to have the surgery. I paid for it myself. I knew my insurance didnt cover it. My family was against it. So, it was all my decision, all my money, and all by myself. It was more out of desperation to have ANYTHING else to focus on, and I decided i might as well get healthy in the process. I knew I was going to have to reinvent myself. Recreate a life that i already had planned out with someone else. I knew it would never be the way that I'd planned it. I knew I had to change my life, and in order to do that, I needed to change my body too. I needed a completely new me. My old life is gone and i am trying to build a new one. As I lose this weight... I am also trying to lose of all of the hurt and pain he caused me. Leave it in my past where it belongs and move ahead. Healthier and happier than I was before. I am a long way away from that... but things are progressing. One day at a time.

These are my "in progress" pics. I was banded Dec, 21, 2006 I have a long way to go, but thought I would share with everyone. This is the first time ive gotten the nerve to post. It is part of me "getting over" my insecurities. Here they are.

VABand - there was a BIG difference in your pics!! You are just like me and cant see it for yourself. See you tell me there is a huge difference. I say, "yeah, right" to myself. I tell YOU... and you probably have the same voice in your head saying, "YEAH, RIGHT." ha. somedays. i think I SHOULD be able to see the difference. I notice it in my face sometimes. But my upper body (which has ALWAYS been the problem)... There I have trouble seeing any difference at all. Ms. Jen -- Good luck tomorrow. I am so happy for you girl!! Just make sure to walk walk walk.... as soon as possible after the surgery. You will not feel like it, but get up and move. You will be feeling fine FAST. The movement gets rid of the gas that is left over in your peritenial cavity (leftover from the surgery). GasX wont help that. only moving. And drink water! as much as you can get down. walk, walk, walk, walk, walk you'll thank yourself a few days later! :-) Steph -- First of all HA ("Holy cow, B-man" Does that make you think of the old Batman series on TV?? ..... haha.) But, nope, seriously... haven't had that moment yet. I think it is because I am so fixated on this image in my mind... of what i want to look like. I dont think I will be happy till i get there. It stinks. My mind really doesnt have a grasp on how I look right now. I think my brain is just trying to catch up. Have you ever had a friend that youve known so well... that one day you look at them and think "wow, i didnt know they looked like that" and you just see them differently for a few seconds?? I dont know how to explain it, but i am so used to seeing the old me that I still see her. I'm working on it though. Skinny legs? ha, yeah, they were never really a big problem. My top half suffered from what i've dubbed "Line Backer Syndrome," THAT was my problem. I looked like I could run defense for the NFL. I was shaped like an upside down triangle. Still am. My upper half has always been like 2 sizes bigger than my bottom half. ggggrrrr... I've wished a million times that I just had a ghetto booty... instead, I have NO butt. Bannanie - ha. Yeah, my smile. That was how i always looked before life took a downward turn on me last year. Everyone always commented on my smile. (you know BIG girl but a beautiful smile routine.. ha) Until about 3 weeks ago, I hadnt smiled in almost a year. It comes out every once in awhile now. I hate that someone could take that away from me for so long. That was the hardest thing. Even though i was big... I was so happy. It's hurt that i havent been able to be that way. Claud -- thank you honey!! I cant imagine what you look like Ms. Size 10!!! You are gonna knock em dead in Chicago girl! You guys make sure to share your pictures too! I figure if I can get brave enough... maybe I will inspire you all to be brave enough too. We will all help talk some sense into each other... since we cant talk sense into ourselves!

well, here we go... i will lay it all out there for ya :-) Ive attached all my comparisons. You all make sure you share yours :-) !!! luv ya ladies!

Buy some food items and make him a yummy dinner the first night you guys are together... it will be a good way to chill for a few hours and just catch up :-) plenty of time to talk, and you are FEEDING him... what man doesnt LOVE that?? You both win in that situation :-) banannie - thank you for the compliment :-) I wish I could see it that way!

VaBand - That sucks about the fill Dr. What a load of crap! Dont settle for that... the Dr. should NOT be charging a "sign up" fee. Keep looking. That is insane. Kaydot - HELLO!! so happy to see you and get the update... We are always glad to see you. I wonder how sweethot is doing. We never see that girl anymore. Steph - Cant wait for the day that I see it. I still feel huge. :cry I see changes sometimes... in places... I posted some more pics in yahoo... I am taking my monthly update pics tonight! So, if I am brave I will post some for you all tonight. I am so glad I have you here to talk to. No one else understands. No matter how hard they try. It is a lonely world over here sometimes. Love you ladies! We really do need to get a talk show to pick up our stories. So, we can all meet up and show the world what can be done with support and understanding.

Steph -- I had to Add a Custom food on Fitday... a Reece's Peanut Butter Egg! haha I had three of them... and they were DELICIOUS!! i still did fine on my calories for day... so i am not a bit worried. I deserve a treat every once in a great while.

Happy Easter my lovely ladies!! Hope your all having a good weekend :-)