beversman

hey there are two posts MISSING one from me and one from Bannannie!!

[singing] I hate the evil P-rot :embarassed: .... I hate the evil P-rot :embarassed:!! lalalala haha -- whoever came up with "p-rot" anyway... that sounds like a Nat one! ha I cant wait till I lose this monthly bloating weight... I am back down the weight that I'd gained from the "monthly visitor" soooo I think when all is said and done I should have lost a few more lbs this week. Geeez, this is a freakin struggle. I need my elliptical soooo bad. I know that is the difference! My fat butt needs her elliptical back!! Momma's comin for ya baby... she needs you back in her life to make her Fat Brain MOVE!

Ok, months later --- and I am doing great! Completely 100% satisfied... it been about 5 or 6 months since this thread originally posted. At the time, I was told that I didnt have the experience to give a good opinion. I definitely have it now. No REGRETS :-) Would recommend it to anyone that truly needs this surgery!!

HAPPY B-DAY SWEET HOT!!! :clap2: NAT - get you that "exercise" !!! haha I'm unfortunately not getting mine anymore. My conscience got the better of me and I had to send him packin' -- Oh well, live and learn. I had toooo many things going on in my own life to deal with something i wasn't really into. I have enough of my own troubles. Didn't need another one. Booboo - thanks girl. i wish it was an easy to change our heads as it is to change our bodys... which is NOT easy at all. But changing my mind seems impossible some days. bk - love ya girl. wish i felt like a star. i kind of feel like a bloated lump today (hahaha) more than a star. Vaband - I've only had .5 cups of milk in the last 48 hours THAT is a big accomplishment for me. I am not going out this weekend either. I've gotten back to cooking my own healthy foods and plan on going to get myself an elliptical machine this weekend. I need another one. When it was in front of my face I used it every single day! So, gotta get back to what was working those first few months. Nikki -- Love ya girl!! Keep rocking those pounds right off! you are doing great! Steph -- We miss you! hope all is well! I'm gonna do this people!! Good Bye Fatness!! It's time to go!

Nikki -- I dont think it will be too skinny at all. I will have to judge again once I lose another 20lbs. BUT I look at myself in the mirror and I can sure see exactly where all that 40 lbs is hiding. I kind of move it around and can see what i will look like someday when it is all gone. True, there wont be ANY fat left once I get there, but damn it... I want it ALL gone. Not to worry Nikki - :-) I know all about "stones" thanks to the Exhusband... or should i say my ex-conman? I have my British education. I know more than any american should know about things over there.... If you know anyone in Corby, northants that owes you a favor and would like to go kick the piss out of a horrible excuse for a human being (who lives there)... let me know. I am far to poor (thanks to him) to fly there to do it myself. If you have any girlfriends who ever meet a man by the name of Ashley Nicholas... call the cops. He is a con man. If he was still in the United States, his ass would be in prison for what he did. Instead he is over there destroying some other poor woman's life. Well, on that NOTE, good news today ladies. I am legally allowed to FILE for my divorce today. They make you wait two months from the date you submit the paper work. So, today i will get a court-date and in a few weeks, this nightmare will at least be over on paper. I will offically be Brandi Eversman again and not Brandi Nicholas (I still have trouble even typing the name) :cry Well, it is almost over... on paper. However, my brain and life have a long way to go thanks to that selfish, deceitful man. BUT say a prayer to "whoever" you pray to for me today... I will need a little extra help to walk myself in there today to end it all. That may be the saddest part. That I still have trouble letting go of someone who turned out to be so cruel. I only wish he could get what he deserves from all of this. -------------------------- Good news... did awesome on my eating yesterday!! Back on track for now. I have a good mind set right now (at least when it comes to weightloss). So, maybe I am finally back on my band wagon.

Steph -- no your not crazy BKwalling -- your not crazy either honey!! I am feeling the same way. I am eating like i am at goal. I am NOT at goal. I have 40 lbs to go definitely NOT at goal. I am kicking my own ass starting today. I've been drinking my calories for almost a month now. STUPID! I need to suck it up and do what I know how to do. I am going to get my fill this week and get my act together. This is ridiculous. I havent been exercising due to my knee injury (those damn things take FOREVER to heal!!) I think it is pretty good now. I am going to wrap it tonight and try running again. Boy, it is so easy to derail and start focusing on OTHER things. I was on a roll. Then, the other day i realized that the GREAT feeling I had over the past few months from stepping on the scale and seeing results... THAT FEELING -- I was now getting it from having one more glass of milk. From eating a bag of 100 calories pop corn... from my beloved Ranch Dip geez here we go again. I was finding my happiness in my food AGAIN. How easy it is to return to that mentality. Now, again - not eating that much BUT it was still not a healthy way of looking at my food. I hadn't been doing that in months then all of the sudden I realized I was doing it again. Thats what I mean by a FAT BRAIN! So, no Steph BKwalling your are sooooo not alone!

Ugh, farm life -- spent all weekend working, setting tobacco. My parents own a farm and i spent the whole weekend working my butt off. The scale says I am back up to 197. Ive ate like 1800 calories the other day though... and have been averaging around 1300 - 1500 most days. for the last week Soooo.... I dont know that it is becuase i am necessarily too loose. I need to stopp eating the condiments and stop drinking MILK! I am consuming alot of empty liquid calories lately. So, this has all got to stop. I know my period is coming. I am acutally a few days late (which is normal for me) soooo I think that is where alot of this weight is coming from. BUT still pisses me off. Hopefully it will be gone next week. I am dog sitting this next week for my aunt and uncle... till next thursday acutally -- I am going home dumping out my milk (sounds like I am going through an AA meeting and dumping the booze!! ha) I am ditching the ranch dip that I am so fond of -- and the table cream. I am going to go back to how i was eating initially which sucked but I need to remember why I am doing all of this. No matter what everyone is telling me i am NO WHERE NEAR skinny yet. I am much better than i was but I am NOT where I want to be and I need to get focussed... quit playing and having fun every weekend and get back to business. ugh, this is hard stupid fat body:mad: stupid fat brain!

OMG girls... should have called and got a fill yesterday. I ate like a freaking cow!!! I could have eaten anything I wanted. It sucked. I had over 2000 calories. scale hasnt gone up thank God BUT damn! It is almost my TOM and I think that may have something to do with the cravings... and I've been and emotional wreck... for no reason. YEP, I love when the "little lady" comes to pay me a visit each month. GGggrrrr I feel like a complete psycho for 4-6 days. Claud - girl, it has been as quiet as a grave for almost two weeks now. I guess everyone is just getting settled in to their lives and worrying about their band less and less... WHICH is awesome. :-) BUT punks like me who are having all their troubles later instead of earlier -- I guess we are just all backwards. I miss you all! Nat!! You sexy bitch! Making all those old white boys think dirty thoughts around the office. Go get 'em girl.

No I never eat when i drink... I eat too fast without thinking and would have myself in a WORLD of trouble. I ingest plenty of the liquid calories though. I drink Bacardi straight. I've done it since I had the surgery though. Everyother weekend. It hadnt effected the weightloss at all in the beginning. To be honest, I still think it is my food choices that are messing me up now. AND my lack of excersise. I only drink the one night a week. Which is bad, but not THAT bad. I think I just am not eating the same as the beginning. I am eating some carbs, and drinking too much milk. My hair loss has stopped though. So, I don't know if it is healthier to slow it down like this or if I am just making excuses so I can drink milk and eat FF popcorn. HA! -------- The guy. He's been pursuing me for some time. He is the one that was so quiet and shy. That lost his parents. His mom just this past March. He is only 22! He totally talked me into it. I told him "no" about 5,000,000 times. BUT he was quite persausive, and I wasn't complaining in the end. I said, "I'm robbing the cradle." He laughed and said, "No, I think the cradle robbed you." HA! Boy, he had THAT right. So, I guess we are "just" friends. I do NOT want a relationship, but I guess friends with benefits it is. Because the benefits were very satisfying! Never thought I'd be this kind of person, but after what my ex-husband did -- I just have no desire to attach myself to anyone, but I think this will work as long as he doesnt get attached to me. I feel like one of those ladies on Desperate Housewives! ha

Way to go Banannie!! :clap2: You've passed my cheating/drinking ass up big time :-) I am going to have to stop consumming the extra adult calories on the weekends. Stupid Brandi... having too much fun with the new me. I did managed to put in more than few hours of "late night exercise" last night... HA! (the 'fun' kind) THAT should help burn those calories. hahaha

You didn't miss much Nat. Everyone's been hiding! :-) I keep fluctuating up and down the same 3-4 lbs. I think Ive made progress and then here the weight comes back again. Its annoying. My TOM is almost here. So, that will only complicate the weightloss issue. I have to go have another biopsy done today. Everyone keep your fingers crossed for me. I have the precanerous cells pretty regularly. Abnormal ones on my cervix. Sooooo, lucky me... they go in and cut them out every three months or so. NOT fun. I dread it. BUT it is better than the alternative of leaving them there to turn into something worse. So, I will suck it up. Hope your all having a lovely day my ladies!! Miss you all, whereever you have gone :-)

stick to hard, lean proteins... chicken, turkey, fish don't do shakes or anything semi liquid or it will just slide right through and you will be hungry alot faster :-)

So it is agreed then... HA! :confused: we all drink too much!! I have the same problem. hehehe You bunch of lushes!!! Oh wait, thats ME! Yeah, I was miserable sick last night.:sick Horrible fever the works. got on the scale this morning... gained 3 lbs. Are you kidding!!? This is soooo much harder than it was before. I don't get it. 40 mor lbs, and it going to take me another 6 months just to get it. Stupid fat!:eek:

Where the heck is everyone!?!? I hope you are all out eating right and kicking some weight loss butt! We've only had like 6 posts since this time last week and I think half of them were mine... haha. WAKE UP my ladies. There has got to be some news out there. I have acutally NOT weighed myself in two days!! I think that is a MENTAL victory. I am curious, but I am hoping if wait a few days that I will be really freaking surprised when I do step on the scale. So, keep your fingers crossed for me. I think I will try it tomorrow morning and see what happens. Thank you all for the compliments! I hope the next 40lbs go as fast as the first 40 did!! (yeah, right!) I have been walking everyday and eating much better than I was for a few weeks. Keeping my carbs back down. Watching calories to keep them under 1000. Full speed ahead ladies!!! charge!!!

I look way rough becuase this is 6am the night after the race :-) I made him let me take a picture of cuddle time. ha! I was trying to take the picture myself. Not so easy. The the third one is my "pimp" look. He wanted me to go on an appraisal with him (for his work). He was appraising the house. I was alone in the car with his sunglasses and the camera...HA! I thought they looked much better on me. There are more pictures here. I am still uploading them. (if anyone wants to see a few) www.myspace.com/beversman

hey ladies... WOW I was expecting to have a ton to catch up on, but it has been quiet all weekend... only a few posts! Where are you all at?? I have some crazy stories.... oh my goodness girls... I do NOT know what to do with all of this new attention. I had four guys calling me this weekend. I dont even look all that great yet and I already had to beat them off with a freakin stick. You'd think that is GOOD, but I realized I have no idea how to deal with that. Ive never really dated before. I met my husband dated just him and got married. Ive never had to go out for dinner and decided between more than one. I dont have a clue what to do. I will have to give details later, but needless to say it was a good weekend. I was well behaved but men were coming out of the woodwork. My Eric and I had so much fun together this weekend. He was really really sweet to me and we got Brandi/Eric Cuddle time for 6 hours last night. He was thinking about pulling funny stuff but he didnt. He was quite the gentleman. We just got to hug and hold and enjoy having the other person laying there. I havent had that in a long while. I went to leave and normally he just gives me a quick hug. This time I went to let go and he didnt he just hugged me tighter and told me again how glad he was that we got to spend time together. It was nice. I love when he and I have weekends like that. :-) I have a picture of us I will have to post in yahoo tomorrow. Indy 500 was WET!!! and still alot of fun... I partied like a rockstar from Friday night all the way to Sunday. I couldn't believe some of the attention I was getting. Normally, guys ask for my phone number and I never hear from them. I was literally AVOIDING them by the end of the weekend. Eric was laughing at me. He thought it was funny. Probably becausing we were the ones that ended up cuddling. ha The concert I went to was something else. One of the girls we were hanging out with disappeared and turned up 30 minutes later... very drunk... and very much without here shirt!! Just a bra and a smile. THAT was interesting... the thing was... she fit right in with the rest of the crowd. She was nuts. so many stories... dont know where to start. Just wanted to pop in and let you all know what a great weekend I had. I will have pictures up on my myspace page! I will send you all the link later :-)

Steph!!! You hot mamma! You get him girl :-) It is so nice to have that "closeness" even without the sex... just someone there for you like that. You skinny woman!! You are probably driving the poor guy wild lately. hehe

Well, to those that read my long post about the guy (who I thought was a jerk). I decided to delete it... because I had him all wrong. I had to rethink things. I've got to know him a bit better and things make a bit more sense. He is acutally a really good person. He's just had some terrible things happen and is just a little different. and I am definitely not one to judge people for being different. I accept everyone, in every form/shape/size/personality they come in. I should have given him more of a chance before making assumptions. He is actually pretty good company, but definitely in the friend sense for now. I don't really want to do all that again right now anyway. Its been 9 months since my husband took off, but it really doesn't seem so long ago to me. I do enjoy the company though. So, there is no reason not to make a new friend. He is all alone in the world himself. I think I may do him a world of good. He needs some cheering up. He definitely doesnt just want a booty call which feels kind of nice... and he seems to want to be around me just because he enjoys my company. I think I misinterpreted his earlier actions. He is just very shy and quiet. I was not used to that... even though I can be the same way myself. Nat - honey, i know what you mean about feeling good one day and feeling like your a million miles away from goal the next. it is so freakin agrivating. I thought I would be much happier with myself after losing this much. I have alot of work to do on my head... probably more than I need to do on my body. gggrrrr Claud - Girl - HA! So, Shrek didn't get your sexual-motor runnin' for the new man??? haha!! (yeah, I guess not!) I would love to go see that movie, but if I was a guy trying to get some action, i think i would have went for something in the "non-cartoon" category!! HA! I am sorry to hear about your mom's friend. i hope everything works out for her, and I sure hope things work out for you this summer and you get your transfer to Chicago. Here I am in the midwest trying to get to the west coast... and there you are on the west coast trying to move my way!! Isnt it funny how people are never content with what they are used to?? hehe ALL - I am off on a weekend of nonsense after today... so I will try to report in when i get near a computer. I will have some good stories and i will keep you updated on my "unique" new friend. HA! Cheer my girl Danica on at the 500!!

Vaband - men are immature, selfish jerks & liars... I met yet another one this past weekend. It is safe to say there are more of those than there are good ones. I've decided I have a sign on my forehead that says, "please lie to me." Where do these people come from?? They are everywhere. Steph - my scale bounced back up a bit. I hate scales too. I think everyone has to slow down on the wieght loss eventually. I'm eating too many carbs... and too many liquids... Ive got to stop drinking milk and eating the Fat Free popcorn. Im addicted to it. I know that is what is wrong. I didnt eat any of that in the beginning. Nat - girl I wish I had your sassy ass confidence girl. I love it. BK - hey honey!! just wanted to say HI. Getting ready to go take a walk. My knee is still messed up from running 3 weeks ago. I cant get it to heal. I'd never had a sports related injury before... HA is THAT an NSF!?!? an annoying one if it is. I am off to a HUGE concert this weekend in Indianapolis, and then off to the Indy 500 Sunday. I am camping down at the track with the huligans all weekend. THAT should render some awesome stories for you all. Can't wait to get the heck out of my little hole of a town. Later ladies. love ya!

ugh... hung over and feeling a hot mess myself. Im such an idiot. Hope your all having a good weekend. Nat just let me know if you have any extra time girl. If you do we can grab some dinner or something. bkwall - sometimes I think I can eat more than a cup... but I guess those are usually foods that kind of slide on down. maurdan - i worry about my pouch all the time. I dont think ive stretched it becuase sometimes... I feel stuffed after very little food. I figure if it was streched that would happen. So, when I can eat more it must just be sliding on down to the "mother" stomach... ha BUT it still worries me all the time. check it out! the scale said 187 this morning... now it might not say it by the end of the day BUT I will take it!! 80lbs GONE!! good riddance.

Im here too!! just working too much :-) yes even today. I am the assitant for marketing for my bank. and we set up booths at the local fairs to hand out promotional items... freebies and to just chit chat with the people in our small towns. And that is all my job. So, ive been sitting in a booth ALL week. It was fun though. Scale is finally moving again!! Almost 80 lbs down... 188.5 this morning :-) I had a late night last night. TIRED! gonna take a nap before I have to head back to work. Hope your all having a good weekend!

I'm here bk!! everyone has been super quiet the past few days. :-) all out working to hard. What was the name of that dance video again??

here is the last one...

well, here are the monthly picture updates :-) my friend is right ... my top half sucks... i wish I could hook up a vacuum cleaner and just suck it all out. I guess eventually I will have to lose it up top. bad thing is... I am noticing the "deflated balloon" effect :-( my tummy inner thighs... some other areas i wont name :speechles I wish I could tighten it all up somehow, but I am going to have to just get used to it all for awhile. Lose the rest of this freaking weight and eventually get rich and have it all "fixed" with plastic surgery. luv ya ladies... send more pic of yourselves too!!

VABandster -- hon I know exactly what you mean about guys... that is the story of my life too. It doesnt matter how long I wait to move on to that next step... as soon as I do, they are out the door. Or they just want a friend with benefits. That doesnt fly with me either. I dont want to waste special moments on men that dont deserve them. BUT they will lie, cheat... and offer you the world to get you to sleep with them. My MY MY... how their stories change once they get what they want. I just wanted to let you know that I understand completely.... and NO I dont think you are easy or a slut. I am right there with you sister. The last few months... I've had many offers but thats all they wanted... sex. They could have cared less about me... HELL, they could have cared less about my NAME! ugh, men... how so many be so disconnected, callous, and shallow? Luv ya hon... your not the only one that thinks about those things. I'm pretty sure when my husband left last SEptemember that I had a miscarriage that next week. I'd been more than a month over due for my period. about 4-5 days after the bastard abandoned me, I had horrible cramps, lots of bleeding... I hadnt eaten or drank a thing since he'd left - It was my own fault. I never was sure, but I know in my heart what happened. It is not to say that it wasnt for the best. BUT I spent most of yesterday thinking about it. Maybe it is best I dont know for sure. (hugs) yes, it is another day to remind us of what we have and what we dont. your not alone :-)