Ok..so here's the update. I had the band removed this past Thursday. Insurance covered it completely and it was surprisingly outpatient. I'm pretty sore, but it's not as bad as it was when I had it put in. It's the incisions that hurt mostly...and the gas, but that happens with any abdominal surgery.
My surgeon remains a nasty pompous man, but I refused to let him him bully me any longer. Since I started this thread I have had an endoscopy, an esophagram, as well as an esophageal monomitry test (which, btw, should seriously replace waterboarding as an interrogation technique). I've had a standing date with my gastroenterologist every other week to figure this out. Every test came back normal. The GI thought it must be the band causing the regurgitation. The shmuck surgeon thought that either I'm eating too fast (which anyone who's eaten with me knows is ridiculous) or (my personal favorite excuse) that I have some kind of esophageal motility disorder that isn't showing up on tests and conveniently only presented itself after having the band placed. I believe the simplest answer is usually correct...
Unlike when they put the band in, I got very little instruction about recovery from this. I was basically told to be on liquids "for a while" and then move to soft foods "for a few days" and see how it goes. I love when they're specific like that. I tried some soft food tonight, and it didn't go so well (it hurt) so I'm back to the liquids for a bit longer. To be honest, I'm terrified that I'm still going to have this regurgitation problem even without the band and that my life will never be back to normal.