eastcoastgirl

Hi everyone, I'm new here and feeling so discouraged . I need help and if anyone has ever been through this before,I would appreciate ANY feedback. After my surgery,I had terrific success. Once I started the program,I was almost 300 pounds,291 to be exact. The day of my surgery ,I was 261. I'm not 249. I feel so disgusted with myself and so discouraged that I can hardly see straight. Actually ,for the first few months,things were great but right around September of 2009,I went in for my 3rd fill,at that time,I was probably around 215. I was feeling great,I had motivation unlike I've ever had before. Well not too long after that fill,I started to throw up all the time,I thought it was might fault,like maybe I ate too fast or too much but I wasn't doing anything different. Then I started to notice I wasn't losing any weight. So I went for months like this ,thinking it was my fault but what started to happen is that I was hungry all the time. I guess because I was throwing up all the time. I thought it was some sort of art form that I had yet to perfect with the new fill lol. Well it wasn't until December that I saw my surgeon and had a "unfill",so I thought it was ok but then I start gaining weight back so time goes by,they make me wait to give me another fill to give my band a break so to speak,so I have another fill and this sounds strange but for a while it was ok but I still wasn't losing weight hardly at all anymore and I started to get hungry all the time and then what I started doing was eating "around" the band just to fill feel. For example like ice cream because it tasted good,it was filling and it didn't make me vomit. I was seen a couple of weeks ago to have an "unfill". I think right now I'm only at a 3 ?? I am feeling really awful about my weight gain and I feel like I can't get that motivation I once had,back. What is wrong with me ? The Surgeon and his nurses said their not worried,that I will get back on track and that it's their fault for giving me too many fills(I don't feel it's their fault though) and that it's really a trial and error type thing but I feel like a failure and I also feel like other people see me as that. I really hate to admit this but there are a couple of people that I know that probably want to see me fail. I so badly want to prove them wrong. Has anyone else been through this and did it finally change for you ,for the better ? I need all the advice I can get . Thank you!!

Hi everyone, I'm new here . I actually had my surgery back in November 2008. I came here for some much needed encouragement,I've been pretty down lately about my lack of weight loss . I was almost 300 pounds when I started the program ,now I'm 249. I will post more of my story in another folder. Thank you ! I look forward to getting to know people :thumbup: .

Thank you Nean for the reply :thumbup: !! I think my issue was that I had too many fills. I'm going to post my story ,I guess in the Post Op section ?? Nice to meet you!