lorabrown
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lora, I just read your thread.
Let me be the first to tell you that you are not in any way a failure. You only fail when you give up. You have not done that. You came here seeking support and I support you all the way.
The road back is not easy at all, but I truly believe that you can do it. I can be done.
I've fought my way back for long over a year and I'm finally here. It may even get worse before it gets better but as long as you keep getting back up and dusting off, you will eventually make it work.
All the best!