StephC

hi girls! First of all Happy Banversity Boo - I think you're wonderful and an inspiration to us all! Bman - you go girl! I think it'd be great for you to start a bike club - too cool and a way to give back. Va - have fun in CA and don't let him play games with you - lay the law down now, you are too wonderful for him to be having to choose between the 2 of you - have fun in Ca and then tell him to take a hike. Nikki - ok I'm going against the flow here - I say stay with him. Get counciling - big time - but 4 little ones? I could say nothing else but to stay with him. I completely sympathize with you, been there done that shit - but truthfully it can be mended. My neice had an affair, got pg with his baby (her dh had been snipped) and she was very adament that she wanted a divorce, somehow through all of that her dh still loved her and being that the new baby was #5 (yes five) he wanted to keep the family together. Somehow they worked through it and have a great marriage. As for myself, I've said it before, we went through a few years of hell, and I was so torn as to what is worse raising my children in this environment or leaving him, well I stayed, and 10 years later my kids, who had actually wanted me to leave at the time, now say they are so glad I didn't. Our marriage is better now then its ever been, no he never hit me, no he never had an affair, but yes he was an asshole and we walked on egg shells around him, I think I hated him at the time and even now when I look back at those years I hate him for it, but he has always been a wonderful dad to his kids, and slowly he's become the husband I've always wanted. Sex is better now then ever (well maybe not when we were 20 and crazy in love) but now that we have this deep contented love its good. I know most of the others will disagree with me, but thats my story and you can only do what you think is best. Also get marriage counciling! My dh was willing and we had to go 2 or 3 different times, and we will go again if we ever need to. It really does help to have an unbiased person to help you work through it. I'll be praying for ya. Ok - gotta go - first of the month is crazy here at work! Love ya girlfriends!!!

no -please tell!

:bounce: Boo - Thats the best NSV I've ever heard!!!

right now I think I'd like Jameka to win, its early so I might start to like someone else when their personalities start to show.

oooh Boo so sorry to hear of the poison oak! My son is allergic to everything so when he's in the area he's sure to get it. Its miserable. My kids never went to camp all at the same time so I never felt lonely. But now, now is hard. I don't know what I'll do when my youngest leaves me. Hey did I tell you all my dd - the middle child - she and her bf have picked out rings. She's planning a May 09 wedding. I'm hoping to be one hot mama by then. We picnic'd yesterday, I made stuff I could eat, zucchini, and vegies, mil made chicken so all was good until the dessert - bad bad bad. I've been having a lot of stuck feelings this weekend. I wonder if it has to do with TOM coming. I'm due today and I heard some say they're tighter that time of the month. My neice has been walking in the evenings with me, we do 2 miles on the track, so much easier then what I normally walk. So I'm getting in about 3 1/2 miles a day now - alot better then NONE like I had been stuck at. Her mom had bypass in Jan and has lost 85 lbs and she's getting close to Barbs size so Barb is ready to lose some weight. Its good for me bc now I have someone to walk with in the evenings. I got a kick outta her last night she said she hit 199 and was so excited, I said thats Onederland and it is exciting. Happy monday girls!

Don't know how that got posted... thought I was still typing. Anyway, I wait all year for fresh garden tomatoes and yesterday I make myself a ww toasted tomato sandwich - nope no way it aint happening - so for lunch I ended up sipping on a ff cappacino - we went to the county fair last night - you know you're a redneck when the highlight of the fair is the demolition derby - I had a taco salad (to die for) it started out slow, after two bites I said - CRAP! I can't eat this right now, so I wrapped it up and took it into the grand stand with me, when the food felt like it had passed I took a small bite and I ended up eating about a third of it that way. My scale seems to be moving but during the past couple months I've been hovering between 185 and 188, so until I get below 185 its not going to seem like real weight loss. TOM's coming anyday too. Boo - I don't know how I broke my obession with the scale, I guess I was so pissed at myself for not eating the way I should that I didn't want to see if it was moving upward, and it always does midday through evening and besides - I'm alot busier now, I'm at work all day - come Nov. 1st I'll probably be right back on it 7 times a day..as for ravioli - isn't pasta the weirdest thing? All these picnics we go to and as tempted as I may be I can't even taste the pasta salads. I heard having alot of sauce makes a difference. Sweethot- glad to hear the dh is on the mend. Well wishes for him. When will you guys be stateside? Gotta go get ready for church, and then another picnic - I'm taking a salad that I know I can eat. love ya girls!

hi all - Jill one thing my dr told me at the last visit was that if I was too tight I'd be drinking protein drinks and eating ice cream. I really think you need a slight unfill too. But I also suffer from the first bite syndrome ... and TOMATOES!!!

Bman - Claud - girls you are strong smart beautiful women and you will get all that you ever wanted from life. Today may be a rotten horrible day for you both but then.. well.. it will pass. Having a few years on both of you I can honestly say its going to get better, and then down the road you may hit some rough spots again but they will also pass. Life is full of ups and downs and although the downs totally suck, grab hold of the moment, learn from it and move on as a better person. I love ya girls and tomorrow will be a better day.

Boo - wtg on the 4 lbs down!!! Thats great!! I couldn't live without my scale. I've gotten myself broke from the 4 times a day thing but still have to get on it in the morning.

Good Friday morning!! Love the weekends!!! I went for my walk this morning, and I did an extra one last night. My 6 y/o great nephew joined me on his bike and he would have to get off his bike and walk it bc of the hills. It feels really good to be working at it again. But I think I'm still too high in my calories - around 1300 - I'd like to get and keep around a 1000. Va - so good to hear from you! A romantic weekend in CA - woohoo! Sounds like someones going to get lucky. Nat - keep up with the basics, we can do this! Claudia - have fun on the date chickee - its gotta be fun. Nikki - A BIKINI?? wow - way to go!!! I am SOOOOO far from bikini land - It'd be like a major tummy tuck to get me into one of them. Have you seen the movie Norbit? She goes to the water park and the kid at the gate says maam you have to wear bottoms, she said bottoms I am wearing bottoms and she pulls up her belly to reveal her bikini bottoms - yup that'd be me. Ok - I think I'm finally pass the stress point at work - I know how it feels tho - since my vacation I feel like its all good.

Bman thanks for sharing your journal, I never even noticed the link before. Its no wonder you're almost to goal. Plus all the exercise too- thats great. I'm getting back to tracking, I know thats its really important. I walked this morning and ate breakfast so I'm feeling good. I'm excited about losing again. And although he's no longer dr sexy, he is right about it being up to me to work at it. I forgive him for his tough love. I also have the first bite syndrome - thats the bite I have to really chew well and put my fork down, then after a few bites it all goes down alot better.

BOO No Way!! I can't believe he would say you're losing your girlish curves! You have a WOW body! Boobs that most women have to pay alot of money to get!!! You most certainly do NOT look boyish. Cute as a button is more the word for it. Boo I have a question for you, you being the one closest to goal and banded the longest of us here, have you been counting calories and all that stuff this whole year? Do you eat a certain way or just whatever? I ate my dinner and posted and went to fitday and started tracking again. I then went to the kitchen and got all my goodies out that I bought today and packaged them up in serving sizes. I wrote the cal and Protein on the side of the baggie and I'm ready to go. So IF I would eat what I have prepared I will have 1100 calories, 74g protein, and 92 carbs. I think its something I can live with, and actually cut out up to 300 calories a day if I'm not hungry. I'm never sure about the whole carb counting thing but I thought I heard less then 100 carbs a day is good. I was talking to my hubster (he's still working out of town :car: - and he said when he comes home I can fix him the same food bc he's gained weight eating out every night. That was one of the things Dr Exsexy said to me, that with hubster being outta town it should be easier for me to cook and prepare the proper bandster foods. Oh I remember what he said about being too tight... he said if I were too tight I'd be drinking Protein Drinks and stuff like that thats easy to swallow. But I did eat good healthy foods tonight and I wasn't uncomfortable at all, no pb'ing or anything so he was probably right, just need to get my act together and I'm doing it. Yessiree I'm almost excited about getting my shit together as I was when I first got banded. I guess I've gotten my seconded wind.

hi guys - ok so I'm totally humilated. I went in for my fill and woohoo lost 1.5 lbs IN TWO (2) MONTHS! So I go in and lay down and he's asking all the questions, have you been eating the right foods, blah blah blah - I said no I haven't. He said WHAT!!?? You spent all the money and went through all the pain and don't eat properly (Dr. Sexy is now losing his sexy) and I said ... yeah I know... he says well don't come in here blaming me bc the bands not working, you have to work with it. (totally un-sexy) I said I'm not blaming you I'm taking full responsibilty for not losing anymore weight, I know I've been wrong but... and I give my sorry excuses. So he proceeds to jab me in the jelly and can't find the port .. we have to do it under fluro... fine with me bc I'm wanting to make sure I haven't stretched the pouch or anything foolish. So we go down, he has to jab me under the xray machine then we do the whole barium swallow crap and he says you don't need a fill. I'm like what? He says you don't need a fill, I took out what you had and put it back and you have good restriction, I tried adding .5 cc and thats too tight and holding the Fluid. You just need to change your diet and start eating the bandster rules, fresh vegies.. blah blah blah... so I say ok, so what about me being too tight and thats why I was making bad food choices? He says you're not too tight, if you were it'd be backing up and you'd have a hard time swallowing. So I hung my head and left. The good news is - it was a nice kick in the arse and I went directly to the grocery store and bought all the good healthy Protein enriched foods I should be eating. Then I came home and went for a walk, then I came in and ate some of my good healthy protein enriched food. I am now a fallen bandster back on the wagon! I am going to show that Dr. EXsexy that I can lose this fat and he'll be gushing all over me again. Thats my story and I'm sticking to it. PS - thanks for the article Bman! I needed to read that, I start beating myself up that I don't do more and that made me feel better. OH question... are you still measuring and if so how much are you eating to feel full and make it last? I measured 1 cup of beef stir fry and 1/2 cup of soggy green Beans and I was able to eat it all without feeling stuffed. Claudia, answer to your coke question - I don't touch the stuff BUT one day I was craving bubbly and I took a few drinks of my dd's soda and I burped and burped and burped. I can't drink when I eat, just like the rules say, I have to wait at least 1/2 hour or more before I can sip or it feels like its going to come back up. In fact I did drink Water once after a meal and it did come back up, not the food just the water. Another thing is the whole straw myth. I drink water with lemon with a straw everyday, all day, and I don't have a problem with it but I do just sip. Nat - I'm with ya sista - back to basics!

thanks Bk - really the bottom line is ME - only I can make this band work for me. Thats why you all inspire me so much, I know you all were in the same place as I was, fat and unhealthy and when I am ready to fall back into all the old habits I can get on here and see how well you're all doing and know that I can do it too. I'm really anxious to get this fill and hopefully get myself into the losing mode again. I just think if I can get the next five pounds off, and then the next five pounds, maybe by the end of the year I'll be at goal. I was talking with a guy from work today, he's a young guy and he's struggled with his weight. We are both trying to turn over a new leaf right now - today. He said he's only 5 lbs from goal but its so hard to eat right, with him its cuz he's still in college and comes home for the summer and eats what mom cooks and whatever is coming out of the kitchen at work - believe me when I say everything coming out of that kitchen seems to be FAT! Fat and carbs! Our chef didn't even have wheat bread - so yesterday I bought a loaf and this morning I told the chef I bought it and he says "why?" - duh!! you fat jerk! I said bc me and Aaron need to be eating whole wheat bread instead of that crap. Aaron said he knows when he gets back to school in his own apartment he'll start cooking healthy again. I said you know with me its been the fact that dh is working out of town and its so easy to eat out or grab JUNK and then of course eating the crap that comes out of the fryer at work. So today I had my cottage cheese for breakfast, almonds for snack and a turkey on ww with ff vinegrette instead of mayo for lunch - Aaron did too. I know that this is what I have to do. Get my head in the right spot again. And ya know how I had said before that I was ok about where I was with my weight? Well I was feeling that way, after losing the 45 and having all the compliments at work, I feeling like "yeah I'm looking good" but now I'm past that feeling and back to the "geesh I'm fat" - this morning when I was getting dressed I pulled my fat belly to the side and tried to imagine what it'd be like without it. I can do it, I can lose this fat belly - if I can lose 45 lbs I can lose another 45 lbs. So I'm rambling.. thanks for listening. Sweethot - its good to hear from you again. You have also inspired me to cut back on the carbs. Keep up the good work. Are you guys still tracking on fitday? Boo - I'm glad your mom gave you the compliment, you do look so good! I told you all about my mil - she asked all winter how I was doing, then she gets here and never mentions the 45 lbs I lost. Irked the crap outta me! But my mom is wonderful about compliments. When we were in Minn I was at the sink and she said Steph from the back you dont' look like you're over weight at all. Of course from the side or front you cant' miss the old jelly belly - she didnt' say that but it didnt' matter I know she was trying to be encouraging and complimentary.

Bman - 15 miles - unbelievable!!! I was feeling so proud of myself bc I got my arse out of bed this morning and walked for 1/2 hour and here you are biking 15 miles!! I am 20 years older then you tho But thats really awesome. I know what you mean about breakfast. I have a hard time getting to it until a little later in the morning. But I do know the importance of it. Nice to see everyone checking in. I know how much it helps me.

Hi girls - can you believe its actually me online at 9:00 at night! I was on emailing one of the bunco girls. grrrrrr the whole thing has me pissed. I talked with the case manager today for a long while. She seems to think I definitely need a fill. She said if I was too tight I'd be knowing in other ways and so today I was very good - natta for breakfast - then I ate a crab cake for lunch - which I was stuffed when I finished... all the while eating slowly small bites - then I ate some almonds for snack and a BLT for supper - I resisted the running to town to get something to eat - pat pat on my back - I haven't snacked yet tonight although I have some fresh picked blueberries in there calling my name. I suppose I should get on fitday and start tracking again - because I feel like it was a good low cal/protein/healthy day. Thanks for all the encouragement and I know getting on here has really been encouraging me to get my act together. All this talk about men and dating is exciting. Its gotta be fun for all of you now, being thinner and feeling sexier. I know I feel better in bed even though its the same old man I've been boinking for the past 30 years! Geesh I crack myself up! Always giving way tmi! But you all have to be loving all the attention! While we were on vacation - in the flatlands of Minnesota - I thought of all you bike riders EVERY day! I would so love to be bike riding like that but I seriously - SERIOUSLY - couldn't do it around here with the hills.. er.. MOUNTAINS.. and speaking of exercise, ok I didnt' do any today but I thought about it, and planned on going for a walk before dark but ended up gabbing on the phone for an hour and then my ds stopped by and now its dark. BUT I'm going to go set my alarm and get my butt up and out the door in the morning before work. OUCH!! Who just kicked my ass!!! love yens!

I'm a bb fan too! My dh says why to you watch that crap, I say cuz its such crap!!! LOL I have to disagree with Kity - I LOVE Evil - he's my kinda guy. Its so refreshing to see a mature straight in your face person in there! Ambers bawling over every little thing is irritating - she cried over someone having to eat slop - good grief! love it - love it- love it!

BMAN - Girl you go!!! Way to go!!! 177 is AWESOME - you're my hero

Oh Banannie! I had a dream about you last night!!! Wild weird dream - I dreamed that you were this thin gorgeous girl (which I'm sure you are) and that you were in pagents - like miss america - too funny! But the weird part was that you were already thin and sexy and I was pissed off at you bc you were banded and didn't need to be. Maybe it was a premonition of whats to come Miss Sexy America!!!

What a weekend! First of all my son finally fought in the cage - mixed martial arts - he submitted his opponate in the first period - TAP OUT! It was fun. So we spent most of Saturday driving out to ohio and then the thrill of the fight. Sunday we had a picnic - I was very aware of how I was eating and I'm sure I'm not too tight. I have an appointment on Wed for a fill. I ate way more then I should be able to and I was careful to chew my food really well so I didn't pb at all. Also when we went to the fight on Saturday night we stopped at McD's and they had a special, big mac meal and get a 2nd big mac for .45 cents - so I got the extra big mac and took my time, ate very slow, chewed well and was able to eat 1/2 of it - I know the whole food choice stuff was wrong but it was midnight and since the dh was eating the first big mac I thought I'd try it too. I just need to get back to basics so I'm hoping this fill will be enough of a tweak to get me there. Bottom line is I'm not using my band as a diet tool and I need to get my sh-it together and get with it. I know its me who isn't walking everyday and making excuses for why I'm not - I can't expect to lose weight when I'm not even trying to work at it. As if its a miracle band - wrong! No more excuses!!! So then the other thing that happened this weekend was my Bunco group was dissolved. You all know I loved it. Well come to find out my best bud was running her mouth about the atv track thats behind our houses and one of our bunco buds owns the track - ok so its not a big deal if she was just bad mouthing it to someone else but she did it in the newspaper! OMG I was pissed when I found out - actually still am - she put me in a stinky spot. I haven't talked to her since I just found this all out yesterday but she's getting a chewing out when I do. I'm actually going to tell the bunco girls to just blackball her so we can keep playing. I'm really having one of those "out of control" periods again. I really need to keep in touch with all of you and get my fill, get control and start losing again. ok - venting is done - have a nice day. Love ya ladies!

Thanks girls! I was talking to someone else who said their doctor told them it was from not chewing well enough. Bman you're right about getting all the junk out of the house - I went shopping last night and bought more cottage cheese and ff turkey and ham - which was good but then I grabbed a bag of chips!!! UGH - I said it was for my dd bf but if they don't leave the house today you know it'll be hell to resist. I think I might be in the red zone too - I'm thinking I'll call the dr and go in for a fill but have him do me under fluro to see how it all looks. love ya!

hi loves - back from vaca - I had a super wonderful time!!! Of course ate crap I shouldn't have but still feel like I'm somewhat in control. Through all this I need your advice asap - I don't know if I'm too tight or need a fill. I find myself eating crap, chips, cookies, candy all the bad stuff and it all goes down without a problem, then I eat something "good" for me and I get stuck, throw up (I'm pb'ing at least once or twice a week). I told myself I would get a fill when I got back and now I'm second guessing it. Whatcha think? BTW - you all are awesome! the pics the biking the self control - unreal - I want to be like you!

Happy 4th to all of you!!! I'm at work - blahhhhhh! Just wanted to say hi- love ya!

hi girls - I'm totally stressed. So much with work - beginning of the month and all the headaches that go with it, then TOM comes a knocking, getting ready for my vay-k-shon, DH is working out of town - still - so no 4th celebrations happening - and to top it off my dd thats nanny-ing out in Philly, her and her bf are coming with us on vacation - which is great - but they decided the one day I have off work before we leave - Thursday - that I'm to meet his mom. I'm like such a bitch and say I can't deal with meeting someone for the first time when I have a ZILLION things to do before I leave, I don't have time to clean my house and entertain! I hurt some feelings, had to apologize and calm myself - after I thought about it I decided it'll be ok. On top of all that - I have FINALLY decided I need another fill - so as soon as I get back I'm getting a fill!! Good deal on the bike riding!! woohoo!!! I wish I could ride but as you all know I live in the land of monsterous hills. I'm so proud of all you! You are doing so good!!! Love ya ladies!

btw - Nat your mom, my mother in law!!! My mother in law hasn't seen me since last August when I was 46 lbs heavier - she came in the other day and she never said one fricking word about my weight loss - like she couldn't tell I'd lost any weight at all, she gave me the up and down look and then kept her mouth shut. I guess she was thinking I'd be a size 7 - but it hurt my feelings. All winter when I talk on the phone to her shes been asking how its been going so then she finally sees me and I guess she couldn't see the difference. ??? wtf!!???