millymolly04

Hello Fellow BandstersWell here goes my story!!!!!!!I started putting on weight when Iwas around 18. I went from being a competitive latin/ballroom dancer and a teenage model to being obese.I got married at 24 years old, we had been together since I was 16 and so he knew the model me! After stopping my competitive dancing I put on some weight. I was going from dancing for 4 hours a night 5 days a week to minimal exercise in comparison. I then had a baby and that came with more weight gain. It turns out the man I thought was fantastic ended up being very emotionally and verbally abusive. He made fun of my weight gain, used to oink at me and ridiculed me in front of friends. He would call me sexually repulsive and spent most of the evenings in front of the computer watching porn. I knew I couldn't compete with that and ultimately ended up on a huge down hill spiral of self loathing and disgust. After having a near death experience in a car accident and my husband being more concerned about not telling his mother because it would upset her and after finding a condom in his jacket pocket whilst I was 8 months pregnant with my son, I finally came to the realisation that this man was not the man I wanted to be with for the rest of my life. So I divorced him. (He then married to another attractive dancer, 1 year later, who is the size of a pin!) I decided to start taking control of my life back, so I had my surgery in July 2008. I initially lost 14kg.Then I met Chay, he was wonderful, but I was thinner and in the back of my mind I always had this niggling thought that perhaps he only liked me because I was thinner. He didn't know about the surgery and I was too embarrassed, scared and ashamed to tell him. I stopped seeing my obesity nurse after only 1 fill. I stopped doing what i needed to do to lose the weight. I have now put all the weight back on!Chay and I have been together now for 2 years, he is amazing, even though I have put all the weight back on he still makes me feel gorgeous and sexy. He writes me love notes every day in a little note book and makes me feel like the most special person on the planet. He is the kindest most loving man in the world and would do anything for me. It has taken me 2 years to trust that he genuinely loves me and that he won't do to me, what my ex husband did! So one day I finally found the trust and plucked up the courage to tell him about my surgery, he was shocked and sad that I felt I needed to do it in the first place.We now want to have a child together and enjoy the rest of our lives together, so I'm pushing that embarrassed, scared woman aside and making a commitment to following through with what I started to do over 2 years ago. With his complete support!I have made an appointment to see my obesity nurse in 2 weeks and I'm going to get this back on track! For myself this time not because I feel the need to be someone who I'm not, to please another man. This is for a future with my son and my partner. Its for me and my health. Because I don't want to lose a minute with my amazing boys, so I need to do all I can to be with them for as many years as I can manage! Wish me luck ;0)