tonya66

Sula, have fun in Canada! My DH is leaving for canada on 9/25 - going goose hunting. He goes every year. He love the canadians and love the air in Canada. I've never been. Wow, breast reduction - you really going to do it this time? I'm jealous. Not that I need a breast reduction, but I would like them pulled up and put back in place. lol. Okay, I had fill #15, had great restriction then all of a sudden LOST EVERYTHING, I felt like I could eat a horse, and I basically did. Stepped on the scales and was back up to 170! ouch! Went in for fill #16 and I told the doc everything, this time he did not take one drop out, he just added 2/10ths of a cc's and I have great restriciton again. Lets see how long it last before I get too excited. I'm so tired of these darn fills, I teater totter around the same 10 lbs for a freaken year now! Makes me so mad. My clothes are all tight right now, it makes a big difference in my clothes to gain weight. I'm out of my size 8's and wearing my size 10's again. We'll see how this fill does, and if I lose restriction again, I feel like just giving up and throwing in the towel, I know thats not a good attitude, but thats how I feel. I need to get to the gym, exercise has been very minimal lately, I know I need to do something, just unmotivated these days. Maybe the fill will jump start me some weightloss and that will re-motivate me, maybe ?? I can only hope. lol. Okay, off to work I go......talk to everyone later.

Okay, I got fill #15 and had GREAT restriction, then all of a sudden I felt like I had NO restriction, I was eating anything and everything, hungry all the time. Stepped on the scales and was up to 170! What the heck? So I went in for yet another fill. I explained the situation to my fill doc and he usually takes a small bit of fill out before he adds some in. He believes an air bubble was in the tubing on the last fill so this time he did not take any out at all, he just added 2/10ths of a cc and I immediately felt a huge huge huge difference. I think this was the first time I actually hurt when he made me eat the peaches. I noticed how much restriction I had when we went out for dinner, I stuck to some mashed potatoes and I was full all night long. I was a little nausiated this morning, but still felt that tight restriction. I know I get my hopes up high and hoping that this restricition will last, and then I get disappointed when it doesnt. But for some reason, this fill really fills different. So we will see. I am mordified to be back up to 170 again. What in the world? I feel so fat today, bloated and just miserable. My feet are very swollen too. I will keep my blog updated on my progress. Below is my fill history so far. Fill #1 - 3/6/07 - 2.2cc's Fill #2 - 4/17/07 - 3.0cc's Fill #3 - 7/6/07 - 3.5 cc's (I think it was only 2.5cc's because when I went back for fill #4, he could only w/draw 1.8 cc's) Fill #4 - 7/20/07 - filled me back to 3.0 ccs - He should have filled me more! Fill #5 - 8/17/07 - 3.4cc's Fill #6 - 10/08/07 - filled me to 3.8cc's - the best restriction I've ever had,but still could eat big bites of food, so I figured I needed to be tighter. Fill #7 - 11/21/07 filled to 4.0 cc's. By the evening could not hold anything down, not even my saliva. PBing all night - horrilble experieince UNFILL #1 - 11/23/07 - unfilled to somewhere between 2.5 to 3.0 cc's - NO RESTRICTIONS AGAIN :smile2: Fill #8 - 1/18/08 Went in and the doc filled me back up to just right under 4.0, according to Flouro, it was perfect. Well, by next morning, could not hold down saliva again, ended up back in hospital UNFILL #2 - 1/19/08 - Doctor had to unfill me to 3.0 again because of the swelling from all the PBing for being too tight. Again, NO RESTRICTION - :crying: Fill #9 - 2/12/08 - 3.5 cc's - was tight for about a week, now feel lose again. grrrr, still have "some" restriction, just not quite enough! Next fill scheduled for 4/7/08 - I hate that it takes sooooooo long to get in to see the fill doc. FILL #10 - 4/7/08 The doc just added .4cc's, making me at 3.9cc's. I think this might be the one! FILL #11 - Was scheduled on 6/25/08 - but the doc did not fill me up, I was leaving for a cruise on 6/27 so he didn't want to risk me being too tight, so did not get a fill. FILL #11 - 8/5/08 Went for a fill, this time the doc took all my fill out and all he could get out was 2.4 cc's. Filled me up to 4.0 cc's, I left, had to go right back because I could not drink, he took out a little over .2 cc's, he said I'm somewhere between 3.5 to 3.7 cc's. - I had great restriction for 2 weeks, but It has now loosened some. I feel I might need a tad more. I'm worried I have a very slow leak. UNFILL #3 - 8/5/08 - Took a little over .2 cc's out, had pretty good restriction, but still a tad too lose. FILL #12 - 9/17/08 - Added just 1/10th of a cc - I think I'm somewhere between 3.8 to 3.9 cc in a 4cc band. I am hoping and praying this is the fill that I stop with! I do not have another appointment for another fill, will wait this one out and see. Fill #13 - 10/06/08 - Doc added about 2/10's of a cc. He took everything out and put it all back in and said I was about 3.7 to 3.8cc's. - which is where he said I was last time. FILL #14 - 11/10/08 - Doc took everything out and I had about 3.6cc's, which is pretty good. He then filled me up to just under 4.0cc's I believe I'm about 3.9cc's. I ate some canned peaches and set around the office for a bit, made sure none came back up. Seems to be doing good so far. I hope this is my last fill! FILL #15 - 08/10/09 - Added about 1/10th of a cc. I think I'm right at 4.0 cc. Wt on the morning of my fill was at 165. But was very bloated from steroids I was on for the previous week. FILL #16 - 8/31/09 - My last fill lasted 2 weeks then I felt wide open. Went in for another fill, this time he did not take any out and just added 2/10th's of a cc. I think I'm just a little more than 4.1 cc's in a 4.0 cc band. I feel great restriction so far. I'm hoping this last. I'm sick of fills. lol. :cryin: - I could tell my fill was wide open, I was starving all the time, wt at the time of fill was 170! grrrrrrr

I really hate the scale sometimes, I really do. Today is one day I want to kick it and stomp on it and throw it against the wall and smash the little head in! I've done sooooo good, I have great restriction, was on liquids for three days, and when I did start back to eating, I ate good lean protein. So what the heck is the problem with the scale GOING UP? AND NOT GOING DOWN! Weighed this morning at 165.1. What the *&()^)_(y%$# - I was cursing at that little demon this morning! Oh, makes me so livid mad, tempting to go get a donut from my bosses desk, but I refrained! Plus, not sure if a donut would even go down without some sliming, lol. Anyhow, just coming to vent this morning. As you can tell, the scale has put me in a fowl mood today! I was thinking about me being "a scale whore", I just gotta have it everyday, every morning, gotta have my scale fix. Sometimes I love it, I can see the numbers going down, but today it was just a disgusting habit! grrrrrrr:mad::wink::eek:

Sula, good for you on your walk!!!! I'm with you on eating, sometimes I just go temporarily insane with my eating.....I do great for awhile and then just lose it, start eating anything and everything. The key is, jump back on the saddle and try and try again.

Well, another goal I'm not going to make........I wanted to be at my goal weight by my bday, which is next week. eeeek, not going to happen. So now I'm just hoping by my 3 year band anniversary which is in January! Eating has been good lately, exercise needs to pick up - it needs to be more consistant. I've got a plan for next week, so we'll see how that goes. Tomorrow taking a vacation day from work to just play. I plan on hanging out at my friends and lounging in her pool all day. Yay. The scale is going down, but not down as fast as it goes up. Why is that? Ever wonder how you can show a 2 lbs weight gain overnight and then only lose 1/2 pound the next day? Hmmmm. Wt 164.6

Well, another goal I'm not going to make........I wanted to be at my goal weight by my bday, which is next week. eeeek, not going to happen. So now I'm just hoping by my 3 year band anniversary which is in January! Eating has been good lately, exercise needs to pick up - it needs to be more consistant. I've got a plan for next week, so we'll see how that goes. Tomorrow taking a vacation day from work to just play. I plan on hanging out at my friends and lounging in her pool all day. Yay. The scale is going down, but not down as fast as it goes up. Why is that? Ever wonder how you can show a 2 lbs weight gain overnight and then only lose 1/2 pound the next day? Hmmmm. Wt 164.6

Thank you guys for your support. Sometimes you just have a bad day and want to vent about it, lol. I'm not discouraged tho, I shall win this fight!

Juno - maybe I should get prego, maybe that would help me drop a few pounds. lol. I guess it would be medical miracle if I got pregnant since I have no uteris. lol The dream cruise looks fun! Speaking of cruises, we got ours booked for next year, leaving July 17th for an 8 day cruise! That give me approximately 11 months to be in the best shape of my life! So far my fill is doing good, not too tight, but I notice full a lot sooner and I have had to slow down a few times while eating, thats not normal for me either. So I'm happy so far. I hope it last. Exercise, still spuradict, trying to get it more regular and still working on it. I have a plan for next week, so we'll see if it works. I'm taking the day off from work tomorrow and guess what I'm doing? NOTHING! I am going to have a ME DAY - just hanging out at my friends house and her pool. I want a relaxing day for a change. Eating has been great, weight is stalling, bounced back up to 166 - then I'm back down to 163 as of this morning. Makes me so mad! I want back into the 150's and I want to reach my goal of 145 darn it! Okay, gotta run.......will check in later.

I really hate the scale sometimes, I really do. Today is one day I want to kick it and stomp on it and throw it against the wall and smash the little head in! I've done sooooo good, I have great restriction, was on liquids for three days, and when I did start back to eating, I ate good lean protein. So what the heck is the problem with the scale GOING UP? AND NOT GOING DOWN! Weighed this morning at 165.1. What the *&()^)_(y%$# - I was cursing at that little demon this morning! Oh, makes me so livid mad, tempting to go get a donut from my bosses desk, but I refrained! Plus, not sure if a donut would even go down without some sliming, lol. Anyhow, just coming to vent this morning. As you can tell, the scale has put me in a fowl mood today! I was thinking about me being "a scale whore", I just gotta have it everyday, every morning, gotta have my scale fix. Sometimes I love it, I can see the numbers going down, but today it was just a disgusting habit! grrrrrrr:mad::sad::biggrin:

I am loving my restriction! Its not too tight, no acid reflux and I feel full after a few bites! Yay! I do notices that I'm wide open in the evening, but have really good restriction in the day time. I need to focus on eating good protein in the evening to help with my hunger so I don't pig out. I also notice I snack too much, a candy kiss here, a candy kiss there, No more candy kisses! I must keep my dirty hands out of the candy dish! Exercise - I MUST pick it up again, slacker this week. I'm about to head to the gym now! Menu today: Bfast coffee w/cream 1 boiled egg 2 slices of bacon Lunch salad with roasted chicken (candy kiss, candy kiss, candy kiss - grrrrr) Dinner Protein shake - just not that hungry tonight.

I am loving my restriction! Its not too tight, no acid reflux and I feel full after a few bites! Yay! I do notices that I'm wide open in the evening, but have really good restriction in the day time. I need to focus on eating good protein in the evening to help with my hunger so I don't pig out. I also notice I snack too much, a candy kiss here, a candy kiss there, No more candy kisses! I must keep my dirty hands out of the candy dish! Exercise - I MUST pick it up again, slacker this week. I'm about to head to the gym now! Menu today: Bfast coffee w/cream 1 boiled egg 2 slices of bacon Lunch salad with roasted chicken (candy kiss, candy kiss, candy kiss - grrrrr) Dinner Protein shake - just not that hungry tonight.

Hey, where is everyone? Just checking in. So far the fill is perfect, I notice a big difference when I drink water. I also notice I'm full a lot quicker, but as always, I can still eat just about anything. No need to chew, chew, chew either. I just eat and swallow like normal. However, I got full on juut a few bites. Yay! I wish my restriction would stay like this, but come around 8:00 pm, I'm wide open. I am so hungry and can eat a lot more. I'm trying to focs on eating just protein in the evening and see if that helps with the hunger. Talk to everyone later.

Juno - hehehe, I feel for you if you have me beat in fills. No fun! lol. I am an accountant so I track EVERYTHING. I'm such a "spreadsheet" person, it drives people nuts. I have my weight logged for the past 20+ years, I can tell you what my weight was at pretty much every age of my life. Almost everyday of my life. I have tracked every fill, every weigh in, etc. I do enjoy going back and comparing different things. Its funny when I look back at my weight at 19 and I read my notes, I was at 135 and totally disgusted with myself for letting me get to 135. lol. Oh I would kill for that number again! Funny how we are never Happy with ourselves, or at least I was never happy with my weight, no matter what I weighed. I vow to be different, I vow to embrace the new me and be happy with my body - I'm just not there yet. (I'm doing it again, arent I). Okay, I'm happy with my loss so far, I just want to lose more. lol. Okay, I'll quit rambling.

I certainly understand your fear, I too almost cancelled mine right before I had the surgery. I noice a lot of people have complications, and even though I'm very very happy with my band, I would have done the sleeve if my insurance had paid for it 2 1/2 years ago when I got the band. IMO. The lifespan of the band is for life, so they say. I do think the % of complications prior to 2005 were higher. I think the slips and erosions are less now. I have no statistics to back this up, just things I have read and just my personal opinion. I also believe a lot of slips are because of the doctors failure to place the band in the proper place, again my opinion. I was banded in January 0f 2007, no major complications, just trying to get to my sweet spot and I just had fill #15, if I was self pay, it would have been a very very pricey surgery for me with all my fills. My insurance paid for mine so I'm very lucky and thankful for that. I was actually complicating WLS in 2006, but decided to "do it on my own" one more time. I was successful, lost about 50 lbs. Then went on vacation and before I knew it, was off my program, packed on 65 lbs in like 3 or 4 months. Thats when I realized I needed help and I would continue on this roller coaster ride until I got a little helper "the Band". There are so many different options, explore them all and then do studies and see what is best for you. The band has been great for me and I am happy with it, I think I would have done the sleeve now looking back on it because of the maintenance level of the sleeve vs the band. But at the time I had to make a decision, the band was the right choice for me at that time. If I was to do it today, I think the sleeve would be the choice I would go. I am not having problems, I do worry about later complications, and have considered switching to the sleeve, but financial reason I cannot do that at this time. Until then, I will live and enjoy my life with the band.

what contributed to your weight gain? Just curious? Could there be a leak? Or do you think that you just became complacent and not watching what went in your mouth? We all get that way at times? I'm just asking so maybe your experience can help others, can you share a little more on your battle. The good news is like your title states - Your back! We are all battling this thing together. The great news that you do have a little helper called "the Band", its always there ready to help you when your ready to use it. You have proven you can do it, so dont be discouraged and we can do it together!

I went to post my fill information in my blog, I just realized this is actually my 15TH fill! wow, I've had a lot of fills in the past 2 1/2 years! The good news is I haven't had a fill since November of '08, so hopefully this fill will take me to my goal weight!

I went for "hopefully" my very last fill yesterday. The doctor added about 2/10th of a cc and it was a bit much, so he withdrew (he said less then 1/10th). I really don't know what I have in my band, but I think right at 4cc's in a 4cc band. I am on liquids/soft foods for three days. I'm hoping this is the fill that gets me to goal. Only 15 pounds until goal - I'm so close I can smell - taste - and see the goal in sight! Below is my fill history. Fill #1 - 3/6/07 - 2.2cc's Fill #2 - 4/17/07 - 3.0cc's Fill #3 - 7/6/07 - 3.5 cc's (I think it was only 2.5cc's because when I went back for fill #4, he could only w/draw 1.8 cc's) Fill #4 - 7/20/07 - filled me back to 3.0 ccs - He should have filled me more! Fill #5 - 8/17/07 - 3.4cc's Fill #6 - 10/08/07 - filled me to 3.8cc's - the best restriction I've ever had,but still could eat big bites of food, so I figured I needed to be tighter. Fill #7 - 11/21/07 filled to 4.0 cc's. By the evening could not hold anything down, not even my saliva. PBing all night - horrilble experieince UNFILL #1 - 11/23/07 - unfilled to somewhere between 2.5 to 3.0 cc's - NO RESTRICTIONS AGAIN :sad: Fill #8 - 1/18/08 Went in and the doc filled me back up to just right under 4.0, according to Flouro, it was perfect. Well, by next morning, could not hold down saliva again, ended up back in hospital UNFILL #2 - 1/19/08 - Doctor had to unfill me to 3.0 again because of the swelling from all the PBing for being too tight. Again, NO RESTRICTION - :biggrin: Fill #9 - 2/12/08 - 3.5 cc's - was tight for about a week, now feel lose again. grrrr, still have "some" restriction, just not quite enough! Next fill scheduled for 4/7/08 - I hate that it takes sooooooo long to get in to see the fill doc. FILL #10 - 4/7/08 The doc just added .4cc's, making me at 3.9cc's. I think this might be the one! FILL #11 - Was scheduled on 6/25/08 - but the doc did not fill me up, I was leaving for a cruise on 6/27 so he didn't want to risk me being too tight, so did not get a fill. FILL #11 - 8/5/08 Went for a fill, this time the doc took all my fill out and all he could get out was 2.4 cc's. Filled me up to 4.0 cc's, I left, had to go right back because I could not drink, he took out a little over .2 cc's, he said I'm somewhere between 3.5 to 3.7 cc's. - I had great restriction for 2 weeks, but It has now loosened some. I feel I might need a tad more. I'm worried I have a very slow leak. UNFILL #3 - 8/5/08 - Took a little over .2 cc's out, had pretty good restriction, but still a tad too lose. FILL #12 - 9/17/08 - Added just 1/10th of a cc - I think I'm somewhere between 3.8 to 3.9 cc in a 4cc band. I am hoping and praying this is the fill that I stop with! I do not have another appointment for another fill, will wait this one out and see. Fill #13 - 10/06/08 - Doc added about 2/10's of a cc. He took everything out and put it all back in and said I was about 3.7 to 3.8cc's. - which is where he said I was last time. FILL #14 - 11/10/08 - Doc took everything out and I had about 3.6cc's, which is pretty good. He then filled me up to just under 4.0cc's I believe I'm about 3.9cc's. I ate some canned peaches and set around the office for a bit, made sure none came back up. Seems to be doing good so far. I hope this is my last fill! FILL #15 - 08/10/09 - Added about 1/10th of a cc. I think I'm right at 4.0 cc. Wt on the morning of my fill was at 165. But was very bloated from steroids I was on for the previous week.

I went for "hopefully" my very last fill yesterday. The doctor added about 2/10th of a cc and it was a bit much, so he withdrew (he said less then 1/10th). I really don't know what I have in my band, but I think right at 4cc's in a 4cc band. I am on liquids/soft foods for three days. I'm hoping this is the fill that gets me to goal. Only 15 pounds until goal - I'm so close I can smell - taste - and see the goal in sight! Below is my fill history. Fill #1 - 3/6/07 - 2.2cc's Fill #2 - 4/17/07 - 3.0cc's Fill #3 - 7/6/07 - 3.5 cc's (I think it was only 2.5cc's because when I went back for fill #4, he could only w/draw 1.8 cc's) Fill #4 - 7/20/07 - filled me back to 3.0 ccs - He should have filled me more! Fill #5 - 8/17/07 - 3.4cc's Fill #6 - 10/08/07 - filled me to 3.8cc's - the best restriction I've ever had,but still could eat big bites of food, so I figured I needed to be tighter. Fill #7 - 11/21/07 filled to 4.0 cc's. By the evening could not hold anything down, not even my saliva. PBing all night - horrilble experieince UNFILL #1 - 11/23/07 - unfilled to somewhere between 2.5 to 3.0 cc's - NO RESTRICTIONS AGAIN Fill #8 - 1/18/08 Went in and the doc filled me back up to just right under 4.0, according to Flouro, it was perfect. Well, by next morning, could not hold down saliva again, ended up back in hospital UNFILL #2 - 1/19/08 - Doctor had to unfill me to 3.0 again because of the swelling from all the PBing for being too tight. Again, NO RESTRICTION - :thumbdown: Fill #9 - 2/12/08 - 3.5 cc's - was tight for about a week, now feel lose again. grrrr, still have "some" restriction, just not quite enough! Next fill scheduled for 4/7/08 - I hate that it takes sooooooo long to get in to see the fill doc. FILL #10 - 4/7/08 The doc just added .4cc's, making me at 3.9cc's. I think this might be the one! FILL #11 - Was scheduled on 6/25/08 - but the doc did not fill me up, I was leaving for a cruise on 6/27 so he didn't want to risk me being too tight, so did not get a fill. FILL #11 - 8/5/08 Went for a fill, this time the doc took all my fill out and all he could get out was 2.4 cc's. Filled me up to 4.0 cc's, I left, had to go right back because I could not drink, he took out a little over .2 cc's, he said I'm somewhere between 3.5 to 3.7 cc's. - I had great restriction for 2 weeks, but It has now loosened some. I feel I might need a tad more. I'm worried I have a very slow leak. UNFILL #3 - 8/5/08 - Took a little over .2 cc's out, had pretty good restriction, but still a tad too lose. FILL #12 - 9/17/08 - Added just 1/10th of a cc - I think I'm somewhere between 3.8 to 3.9 cc in a 4cc band. I am hoping and praying this is the fill that I stop with! I do not have another appointment for another fill, will wait this one out and see. Fill #13 - 10/06/08 - Doc added about 2/10's of a cc. He took everything out and put it all back in and said I was about 3.7 to 3.8cc's. - which is where he said I was last time. FILL #14 - 11/10/08 - Doc took everything out and I had about 3.6cc's, which is pretty good. He then filled me up to just under 4.0cc's I believe I'm about 3.9cc's. I ate some canned peaches and set around the office for a bit, made sure none came back up. Seems to be doing good so far. I hope this is my last fill! FILL #15 - 08/10/09 - Added about 1/10th of a cc. I think I'm right at 4.0 cc. Wt on the morning of my fill was at 165. But was very bloated from steroids I was on for the previous week.

Wow, its been a month since I posted? I should be ashamed of myself. Whats new, well, shoulder is still not healed, and really struggling these days to even get any exercise in. Well, to be honest, I haven't exercised in awhile, and I finally made it back to the gym last night. I am not lifting weight since I have an injury but I am doing cardio. Eating has been on and off. We went on vacation July 4th week and that started me down the bad path. It took 3 weeks for me to quit eating bad and get back on track. I am finally back on track and trying to get back to exercising. I guess I just a break from everything, eating right, exercising and blogging. I'm refocussed again and will start blogging again. It holds me accountable. Bfast - protein shake Lunch - FF tuna salad with 4 crackers Snack - grapes (red seedless) Dinner - roasted chicken and fresh tomatoes snack - Skinny Cow ice cream bar Exercise - 30 min on elliptical machine. wt - this morning 162.9 grrrrrrr

Hello girl, how in the world are you? I tried to post a comment on your blog but you have it set up for not comments. I wanted to tell you what a great idea and great thing your doing with the foundation of Start the healing. You look absolutely beautiful! I also saw your pics in your album. stunning girl! You go!

I'm with you Sula on running. My DD is a runner, she is only 17 but loves to run. I would love to running with her but my knees won't take it. My doc said absolutely no running or I will be having another surgery. I love the elliptical, I feel like I'm running but without all the pounding on my knees. I just need to do more of it! My daughter is doing a 5K run in a few weeks and her goal is to do a marathon. she has the cutest little figure too and can eat anything. But she works it all off by running all the time. Makes me so jealous. lol. I'm glad she got her Daddy's genes and not mine! I will keep you informed on my fill, I hope its not too tight, but so far it seems to be okay. I haven't tried eating anything tho. My fill doc gave me a new set of rules they started giving their patients after a fill, he said to stay on liquids and soft foods for three days then I can gradually go back to foods. I'm going to stick with the rules. In the past I went straight from a fill to eating whatever, so we'll see how this goes. I would love to be a body builder too, not a huge one, just a little. I want to see more muscle definition, but first I need to get rid of more fat. grrrrrr. Thats the hard part!

Well, I got - hopefully my final fill yesterday. Fill #14 - I am hoping it helps me to get to goal. I'm sticking to liquids for three days, or at least soft foods. Having a protein shake this morning and cream of brocoli soup for lunch. The doc looked at my band and said it was in perfect position, he filled me up 2/10ths of a CC and had me drink the nasty barium stuff, well, nothing went thru, so he pulled just a few drops out, less then a 1/10th of a cc and a little of the barium went thru. So thats where we left it. I can tell I have great restriction, and I had no acid reflux last night (which I was so happy about). I had 1/2 can of soup last night and was full and doing a few hiccups, so I think this might be the true "sweet spot". I can only hope. I haven't had a fill since last year, I didn't want to get too tight but I can tell it had gotten looser. I was also worried aobut my pouch being stretched, and he said everything looks great. So I was relieved. Anyhow, I'm hoping by next Monday on my weigh in, I will have a lower number to report. :w00t:

I want it all! I want my goal weight, I want a six pack abs, I want a J-Lo round booty, I don't want the dimples in my thighs, I want muscle definition in my arms (Madonna arms). I want to wear a bikini again, and look good in it. Yes, I want all this in my 40's! I want to be a fitness instructor someday, A personal trainer. I know I'm probably one of those person who is totally unrealistic, but thats still what I want. My flat stomach, I know will have to come from a tummy tuck, and the muscle will show up. I still know I have to exercise in order to get it, but my first step is a tummy tuck. I'm saving my money now and I'm hoping to get it next March. I also need to keep reminding myself of my goals so I quit going off the deep end and eating bad stuff like an entire bag of cookies in 3 days - all by myself. Yes, I did it.....grrrrrr. I have been exercising, and eating right, but somehow, or something made me snap last week and I found myself eating cookies for dinner, and then breakfast, then lunch, then dinner, and the next thing I knew, I had eaten the entire bag. Someone slap me please. I'm back on track, my kids are out of town with friends so no cookies in the house again when they are gone! I will make them take the cookies with them. lol. Well, I'm headed to the gym right now to some ab work and cardio. Talk to everyone later.

Yesm Yes Yes, I love it!

confused - how tall are you? I'm between 5'5" - 5'6", I am wearing a size 8 at 155 lbs - 163 lbs. Anymore than 163 and the 8's are tight and I am wearing my 10's again. I think if I get down to 145 I will be in a 6. Wow, me a size 6? Thats so weird to even think about. Hang in there with the exercise and try not to get discouraged with your measurements. I have learned that sometimes you just got to go on "how you feel", not by the tape measure, or the scales. I'm a scale whore too by the way. I weigh myself at least 2 times a day, sometimes more. I used to be so obsessed it would stress me out, so now I usually weight first thing in the morning, after I go tinkle and in my bday suit. Then I weigh before I go to bed to try and "guess" what I will weigh the next morning. I usually know when I weigh at night what I will weigh the next morning, I'm usually down like 2 lbs from what I weigh before going to bed. Anyhow, I have learned not to let the scale guide my moods, its hard, but I've learned sometimes the scales do lie...read this article...... Out, Out, Damn Scale! Why We Sometimes Lose Inches But Not Weight When I get discouraged about the scale not moving, I usually refer to that article again. It has helped me more times than I can even count. By the way, you've encouraged me to get back into "working out like a mad woman". I am really struggling with working out these days, my mojo has left. I did make it to the gym Monday night, Tuesday was sick, Wednesday night (last night) had a great workout for 45 min on the elliptical. And then this morning, I got up at 5 am and worked out. I'm really trying to get back into my morning routine. That way I have no excuses not to get it done. I've injurred my shoulder so I can't do weights right now, so I'm sticking with my cardio and a few strength training exercises. So, keep up your good work, and keep posting, you never know when you will inspire someone - like me...:juggle: