bec*the*bandit

Hi everyone,So nice to find a friendly and well-resourced website for people at all stages on their journey.My name is Bec, I'm 27 year old doctor, and have been severely overweight for about five years. Prior to that I was coming up to being a state level swimmer at long distances and was in the top 10% of any of my long distance running races so I've always considered myself to be pretty athletic. Unfortunatley about five years ago everything seemed to go wrong - there were some major family crises, I devleoped biceps tendonitis which put me off swimming for a few months, and then I developed severe shin splints and anterior tibial stress syndrome in my legs which meant I had to stop running. Running was my mental health 'cure' - and when I couldn't do it I fell into a big hole. I gained weight because I became depressed and started eating crap and too much of it - then got polycystic ovarian syndrome on top of it - which as most of you (women) know makes it even harder to lose weight. I tried to start running and swimming again but in a short space of time (about a year) I'd gone from 80kg to 130kg. I tried all the usual diets and programs and clubs and medication- nothing worked and my self-esteem plummeted especially if I did manage to lose some weight but it bounced back on again, often with more besides.Self-esteem took a further knock because I'm a doctor and want to set a good example to my patients, which I'm clearly not doing. A woman came in asking for referral to see a surgeon for a lap-band a few months ago and said to me "have you ever thought about having one?". I could have died there and then just thinking about it - I was so embarrassed. Nevertheless I realised that I had to do something- and something that was going to work. Fortunately being a doctor means I have good surgeon friends who I trust implicitly and they agree that it's what I need. I'm in that pre-op phase now of seeing the endocrinologist, the nurtirionist, and the physiotherapist. I can't seem to move past the feeling of humiliation and embarrassment - I'm a doctor, this is not supposed to happpen to me - I'm supposed to know how to control my weight - so that's the only part I'm really struggling wih at the moment. My surgical/medical team are great though and I can't wait to start my new life on May 13.Thanks for reading,Bec