kopite4ever

I am 43 years old and at 6ft 2" I weigh a staggering 468lbs. I want this surgery so badly that I fantasize winning the lottery just so I can pay for it asap. I want to manage my weight and gradually return to my former self and get off all the medications. But I earn below the poverty line and cannot afford it. I am here to find if there are any programs to help people like me. I have medicaid which does not cover this surgery. I have recently been diagnosed with diabetes, hypertension, high cholesterol, arthritis and I have a chronic dry cough, am always breathless, dehyrated and suffer from back pain. I now take 6 different pills and I still have to see doctors to test me for any other complications. I just feel like I am going to die soon and there is no way out of this. I have wasted the last 10 years of my life when I was young and strong enough to fight this and reverse my weight gain. Apathy and pain has made me lazy and now I am stuck in a routine of staying home on the computer for hours and since I also suffer from IBS I cannot get myself to go and walk in case I need to rush to the bathroom. It's a living hell. I used to go out all the time and was a real social person that had a very good relationship with women and had an active sports life until the age of 30. Now I am too embarrassed to even be in a supermarket. I dread grocery shopping not only because I do not want to be seen but because walking the aisles is a chore for me. I always tightly grasp the shopping cart to aid my walking and give me a rest. It is that bad to me. To do the most basic body movement takes great effort and I often proscracinate on anything before doing it. Can you imagine? I actually have to psych myself up just to take a shower never mind do any apartment cleaning. I know if I could lose 100 lbs over the next 12 months, then I would have the energy and motivation to get back to a healthy routine and reverse all my ailments. But I am just one of those people who is flat broke and cannot find a way to turn my life around. I am writing this in desperation that maybe somebody out there has experienced this before and found a way out and can show me the way before it's too late. I want to live but do not know how. I am willing to be a test candidate if it is going to get this weight off me. I want to change, I've got to change, but how can I get this lap band surgery done?