pearlyshores

Hi my name is Michelle I am 37years of age and live in Australia.  All my life I felt I battled with my weight, in fact I look back at photos now and realise that pre my twenties I was not actually fat just saw myself that way but since that is how I saw it I forfilled it.  A couple of bad relationships which fuelled the feelings of not worth anything sent me into ten years of filling my mouth with whatever I could find to try and make myself feel better but as we all know it backfires because the more weight you put on the worse it becomes.  I always put a front on as the confident entreprener who could conquer anything but it was a facade.  For years I dieted with all the usuals, took diet pills the best results coming from Duromine since you don't sleep or eat but the downside is you get even more depressed than thinking of how fat you are.  My breakthrough came in December of 2008 when I heard an advertisement on the radio for a seminar on obesity surgery.  Where I got the guts it took to turn up at the hospital along with all the other "morbidly obese" people I don't know but I did and it has changed my life.  I sat amongst women in their forties and fifties and realised that if I did not do anything about my weight I would end up double the size I was.I booked an appt with Dr Caska that same night saw him the following week and booked my surgery.  Since I was so excited I told everyone I knew and consequently took along my hairdresser who booked her surgery on the same day.  Ate myself stupid all over Christmas knowing that my life was going to change forever.  Day of the surgery I wasn't nervous I was excited, checked in at 7am operation completed by 1pm slept all afternoon and night.  Woke up at 6am and could not believe the feeling of control.  For the first time in my life my first waking thought was not food I was in control of me.  Now the journey begins......The first couple of weeks were very difficult, I had a pain in my left shoulder that felt like my arm was going to drop off at any given moment.  I have a partner and 17year old son and I do all the cooking usually but I was treating food like the enemy since from the first time ever did not want to nor could I put anything substantial into my body so I became depressed, we were not communicating as a family and I thought "what have I done!"  Then one day I decided to snap out of it get a grip and start to cook up a storm for the boys - have some fun.  So that is exactly what I did - got involved with the food made it my friend.  That over with the next few months were amazing I was loosing weight, confidence was at an all time high, my relationships at home, work and within the family were getting better everyday because I WAS.About 12months after the surgery wammo I became a bit depressed, cranky had awful feelings coming up, would be driving along in the car and burst into tears.  I did not want to work, socialize  or see anyone.  In particular I vented anger at my Dad which was totally out of character and we had never even had a crossed word so I thought okay time to see someone - a head doctor since I was out of wack.  I attended about a dozen sessions and really started to tap into all the feelings and thoughts of what made me eat in the first place and why I was fat and insecure.  All those I am not good enough, pretty enough, worthy enough came out and I worked to resolve and dissolve it.2years on from the surgery I feel like it has saved and made my life.  I am so excited about my experience that I want to share it with the world and help other people in particular women to become the masters of our destiny and wake up everyday loving who we are from the inside out.  My new business is Makeover Solutions.com.au which has been created to open the door to a new life, new look, new beginning.  LAPBAND IS THE KEY.