vanishingvixen

I've just had the past few weeks from hell. Had been feeling "off" a bit... Not quite right. I ended up in the ER on Tuesday with severe pain (that I'd had before, but had wrongly attributed to/been diagnosed as having a umbilical hernia that developed after I was sleeved). It turned out to be a gallbladder attack and I was told I had "ALOT" (almost 20!) of gallstones. I was treated for pain and released. Took Wednesday off (only by docs orders). Against my better judgement, I went to work Thursday still in a lot of pain b/c I had a big project due. I went back to the ER after work and was immediately admitted with an inflamed/infected gallbladder so it wouldn't rupture. They performed an emergency gallbladder removal on Friday morning. Now, my doc told me it was most likely the rapid weightloss from the VSG that I had (it could have also been from being Obese before - BUT, my pre-op testing showed no gallstones or gallbladder issues). Has anyone else here had that problem?? This really has TOTALLY caught me off guard. It explains a lot of things I've been feeling over the past year... But still a shocker.

All - if you haven't, pls check out my blog. I've chronicled my jounrey (the good, nad & ugly) here: vanishingvixen.wordpress.com

A dear friend of mine is a seamstress... she made it for me. PArt of the reason it looks so good is b/c it was literally made to fit my body perfectly. I wish ALL my clothes did that *lol*

Yeah. I guess. The crazy part is that even though I SEE the progress in terms my body - I'm still feeling some kind of way that I'm still over 200# and it's been almost 2 years. I'm busting my @$$, i have a healthy food life... But I'm stuck. It's frustrating not to see the scale move. I've never been small. Doubt that i ever will be. I think id be fine where i am now - sz 12/14 - if the scale said 175. But I'd also be fine at a sz 16/18 of th scale said 175. Makes NO sense. My own dumb struggle, I suppose. And I know my body will stop where it's comfortable. But I did NOT have surgery to still tip 200#. So I just have to keep going....

Been there. Had those thoughts. Still do. Was worried about losing my "figure", but 110# gone, and I feel better and look better than ever. 2 years post op, and still 40# to goal. Not sure what "too small" is, but if you focus on the health aspect of it, it will be much easier to push past that fear. I've blogged my entire journey here - including lots about the feelings you mentioned: vanishingvixen.wordpress.com. You can also Check out some of my pics in the gallery. Maybe it will put your mind at ease. Best of luck to all!!

LOL!! Thank you!!

The 1st month or two will be the hardest. But it gets easier!! I've chronicled my journey (and rollercoaster of emotions) here if you would like to take a gander. Shoot-from-the-hip talk, for sure. http://vanishingvixen.wordpress.com

Thanky you!! My 2 year sleeviversary in on 9/21. I thought I would have long made it to goal (165-175) by now...but no such luck. It truly is a lesson in patience and persaverance.

(size 22-24 / size 12-14) Just sticking my head in. Things have beed SO incredibly crazy for me and haven't had time to really sit down and pull all of my thoughts together. I'll post the short version here: Have accomplished quite a bit since the last check-in. I finally scale moving, but my body is being sculpted at an amazing rate, due to my love of running. (left pic: from my first 5k in April. right pic is from 2 weeks ago) (Only about 5# gone, but LOTS of inches GONE) The inches are disappearing, but STILL haven't hit One-derland, and I'm almost 2 years out. More important to me though, have become the NSV's... This coming weekend, I will be doing a 5k race up at Yankee Stadium to raise money for Cancer Research (something extreamly near & dear to my heart). The course takes place inside the stadium, and incorporates the concourses, ramps, and stairs. STOKED, but nervous...and ever-ready for a challenge. I also took to the challenge of doing BOTH the Marine Corps 10k and the Zombie 5k obstacle course in the same weekend at the end of October, so I am in training mode. That will surely show me what I'm made of! In other news: my eating has been pretty good. I'm focused. But I'd be lying if I didn't say how frustrated I am with the scale not showing all of the effort I'm putting in. I guess it shouldn't be important...but it is. No matter - I plan to keep going. Something will eventually have to give, right!??!? SO...MORE IMPORTANTLY: how is everyone doing?!?!?!? What challenges have you been having?? What NSV's have made you smile the most?

*stands up raises hand* My name is VVixen, and I’m a ‘Numbers‘ Wh*re. *hangs head* See, when I first decided that I needed to do something drastic to get the weight off of my rather petite 5’3″ frame… all I had in my head was… numbers Numbers NUMBERS scale.png" rel="external nofollow"> In fact, from the day that I got on the scale and it had hit the 300# mark, all I could EVER think about was numbers…and getting said numbers to decrease (though in actuality, the numbers went up about 10# before going down *lol*). I had in my head that IF I’m going to have this weight loss surgery, then I need to ensure I hit *my* goal weight of 175 – preferably by my 2 year surgery anniversary – which will be September 20. Ironically, that number has also changed and aligned itself a little more closely with my Dr.’s number of 165 — since 175 at my height is still technically OBESE. And for me, that would defeat the purpose of such a drastic measure. But I digress… Everything was peachy the first year post-op, because the weight loss was – dare I say – pretty d@mn effortless. This second year? Not so much. I’ve worked harder than I thought I would have to, but I’m better because of it. And not only that – the results are evident. Even weekly [in my physical appearance]. so WHY do the friggen NUMBERS bother me so?!?!? I guess they give me a more certain feeling of accomplishment. Like I KNOW I’m making progress when I see the numbers go down. *shrug* The scale has only moved 5# in the past month…yet, in that time I’ve not only completed my first athletic feat (and signed up for many others)…but am also running/training on a very consistent basis. I journal my foods. I’m paying more attention to my nutrition. But I’m STILL up in arms about the scale not moving – thereby keeping me away from my Magic Number. *sigh* Well, I got a book in the mail yesterday that a friend of mine wrote. (Check it out, HERE) Within the first few pages, there was one thing that JUMPED off the page at me. Loosely quoted “the aim should not be losing WEIGHT, but losing FAT”. And as people have reminded me soooo many times before…I’m building muscle (which weighs more than fat) as I’m working out. I’m not just doing cardio/running. But also core strengthening & weight lifting. So… It would stand to reason that I’m building [lean] muscles. Right? (Right.) That weigh MORE than the fat I’m losing. Right? (Right.) Which means that while the scale might not be moving the way I want it to, that much progress is still being made. Right? (Right.) I send my friend “The IMP” (the male counter-part of my other blog, also dear friend/photographer – who shot some pics of me on my trip to Houston back in February) a pic (left one, above ^^^) that I posted to my Weight Loss Journey Pic Album. His response? So, I’m learning a bit…to relax on the numbers. I want RESULTS! The numbers don’t make me – my effort & progress [both inside & out] does! I mean, who would have ever looked at me (or LOOK at me [/present tense]) and seen [/see]…an…athlete? That part still blows my mind. It hasn’t been an easy road, but I can honestly say that if I didn’t have to work so hard for it, I wouldn’t be able to appreciate the results. And that, I do! Side note: I think I went a lil gung-ho on attempting to run every day - I hadn’t been giving my muscles enough time to repair and had been experiencing alot of hip pain. I have scaled the runs back to 3x a week (never back to back as I had been doing) – and increasing my weight training, and throwing a fun workout in once a week (ie: bellydancing, zumba, pole dancing, yoga). But look at this view on the Woodrow Wilson Bridge trail! How could I not want to take the time to enjoy this every day? Baby steps. Must remember not to overdue it if I want to improve on my time. My next 5k is next weekend…and I’m looking very forward to seeing how my work over the past 2 weeks plays out on the course. Wish me luck!!

yes maam!! http://www.damonrunyon.org/yankeestadium Maybe we should plan a meet & greet! My in-laws live right across the street from the stadium. There is NO way I'm missing this. It will prove to be a beast tho. Make sure to check out the route!

5 more (monthly) 5ks, then a 10k in October. We don't have many options around these parts. I've seen listings for an 8k. But only one. Really looking forward the one in August - it will be held at Yankee Stadium. Running the concourse, field, and steps. Still kinda amazed at myself. Looking forward to much more! S/n: I got back out there today. 4.5 miles. 1 hour 17 mins. Who would have EVER thought I'd wanna do this!? Thx all for the kind words. It's within ALL our reach!

2038. Iron GIRL) to do the scale in well over a month, so I have no idea where I am with my weight. I suppose I need to do that to get an idea of what exactly I’m aiming for. What I do know, is that I’m becoming less concerned with numbers…and more concerned with overall fitness, core strength, and endurance. I’d venture to say that forcing my body into submission by way of “perpetual training” for these monthly running events, I’ll also be forcing this last 40-50# to pack their bags and get up off me! Small Side Note: I have noticed that when planning a run [trot/jog/whateveryouwannacallit], my eating is different. There are somethings thatI don’t want in my body when I’m trying to maintain a distance. And I’m far more conscious of what I put in my mouth. I know it should always be like that, but it isn’t. So now that all parts of this machine are fitting (and hopefully working) together, I can see BIG [overall] results. I also would be remiss if I didn’t mention the fact that I have a truly amazing support system in place that has helped me stay focus. I had a good friend of mine run this race with me – and plan to do at least one more together. As well as friends who showed up to cheer me over the finish line. I’m all out of excuses. I’m made of awesome. It was time that I realized and owned it. Now, if you’ll excuse me… I have to “run”…