vanishingvixen

Seems like my post-revolt body didn't take too kindly to the Nemo Patty I had for dinner last night. Dude, my system had NO problem trying to evict that joint & all its baggage. *whew* Then, today, with my "healthy" lunch (rice w/veggies & chix, yummy waldorf salad, cherry pepsi zero), I wanted a handful of my "favorite" UTZ Smokin Sweet potato chips. 5 chips in, I realized that wasn't a good idea. *bubble guts* I guess that's a good thing. My body is reminding me to stay focused, even when my cravings are saying "Might I have another, please?" *in my best Madonna/british accent* Interesting how that works, huh? Now, if I could just find a pair of full body swimming SPANX (complete w/a pair of Tina Turner legs - because even "reduced fat" cottage cheese is still too much for some to digest)... A fatgirl can dream, can't she??

Seems like my post-revolt body didn't take too kindly to the Nemo Patty I had for dinner last night. Dude, my system had NO problem trying to evict that joint & all its baggage. *whew* Then, today, with my "healthy" lunch (rice w/veggies & chix, yummy waldorf salad, cherry pepsi zero), I wanted a handful of my "favorite" UTZ Smokin Sweet potato chips. 5 chips in, I realized that wasn't a good idea. *bubble guts* I guess that's a good thing. My body is reminding me to stay focused, even when my cravings are saying "Might I have another, please?" *in my best Madonna/british accent* Interesting how that works, huh? Now, if I could just find a pair of full body swimming SPANX (complete w/a pair of Tina Turner legs - because even "reduced fat" cottage cheese is still too much for some to digest)... A fatgirl can dream, can't she??

// Preface: I’m sitting in McDonald’s THOROGHLY enjoying the Filet-o-fish I’ve been craving. Not guilty, not ashamed. Twas my reward for losing 5lbs since 3/1/10. Now, the loss coulda been attributed to the little revolt my body staged over the past 3 days, but I was determined to get me that tasty brick-o-minced Nemo. I know – I have a long way to go, but little “rewards” like this, make it easy to keep going. All I have to do is keep doing what I’ve done the past 2 wks – make better, healthier daily choices, ramp up the physical activity, and keep my eyes on the prize. All the while still allowing treats for mini-victories along the way. Carpe Diem & Viva la Fishie! :wink2:// Now, today was my surgical consult. Long story short, it marked the official start of part 1 of my journey (pre-approval) :thumbup:. On 3/29, I have my Pulmonary Consult, 4/5 my sleep study, 4/6 starts the 1st of the 3-month multi-disciplinary weight-loss program required by my insurance company. It’s amazing how fairly quickly this is all coming together. There is still a lot of work to be done (on my end, in terms of eating habits, exercising, etc), but knowing is half the battle. And if all goes according to plan, I’m looking at a surgery date somewhere around mid-late August. *woot* I will say, the surgeon suggested that "gastric bypass would probably be the better option" for me since ideally *he* would like to see me lose 125-130#. I get it. BUT, he said that I need to make the decision I feel is best for me…and that is what I’m doing. So lap band, it is. I was told to expect the weightloss of about 80-100lbs over the next 12-18mnths, and that (plus any additional is still up to me and my “new healthier lifestyle”) I CAN gain all the weight back if I don’t stay on the path *duly noted* I can’t begin to say how excited I am. How nervous. How elated. How scared. How…EVERYTHING I am. I just know that whatever happens…there is no turning back Not now. Not ever…:tongue2: Besides, Geeyonce waits for no one. The rebirth is upon us. Followed by The unveiling, coming to a blog near you: May 2011. *giggety giggety* P.s. After eliminating white sugar from my diet for 2 wks, the McD’s sweet tea was too much for my tastebuds *blech* NEVER thought I’d see the day I could/would give that up. Only 5 swigs, and I was d.un. Ill take unsweetend w/splenda from here on out… Pls &thk u!

Check out my latest blog - details! All went very well. I'm on my way!!!

anyone?? I've done the info seminar. I've had a physical exam (my choice). So...what happens after I go to this consult?? What's the next leg of the process??

// Preface: I’m sitting in McDonald’s THOROGHLY enjoying the Filet-o-fish I’ve been craving. :glare: Not guilty, not ashamed. Twas my reward for losing 5lbs since 3/1/10. Now, the loss coulda been attributed to the little revolt my body staged over the past 3 days, but I was determined to get me that tasty brick-o-minced Nemo. I know – I have a long way to go, but little “rewards” like this, make it easy to keep going. All I have to do is keep doing what I’ve done the past 2 wks – make better, healthier daily choices, ramp up the physical activity, and keep my eyes on the prize. All the while still allowing treats for mini-victories along the way. Carpe Diem & Viva la Fishie! :)// Now, today was my surgical consult. Long story short, it marked the official start of part 1 of my journey (pre-approval) . On 3/29, I have my Pulmonary Consult, 4/5 my sleep study, 4/6 starts the 1st of the 3-month multi-disciplinary weight-loss program required by my insurance company. It’s amazing how fairly quickly this is all coming together. There is still a lot of work to be done (on my end, in terms of eating habits, exercising, etc), but knowing is half the battle. And if all goes according to plan, I’m looking at a surgery date somewhere around mid-late August. *woot* I will say, the surgeon suggested that "gastric bypass would probably be the better option" for me since ideally *he* would like to see me lose 125-130#. I get it. BUT, he said that I need to make the decision I feel is best for me…and that is what I’m doing. So lap band, it is. I was told to expect the weightloss of about 80-100lbs over the next 12-18mnths, and that (plus any additional is still up to me and my “new healthier lifestyle”) I CAN gain all the weight back if I don’t stay on the path *duly noted* I can’t begin to say how excited I am. How nervous. How elated. How scared. How…EVERYTHING I am. I just know that whatever happens…there is no turning back Not now. Not ever…:smile2: Besides, Geeyonce waits for no one. The rebirth is upon us. Followed by The unveiling, coming to a blog near you: May 2011. *giggety giggety* P.s. After eliminating white sugar from my diet for 2 wks, the McD’s sweet tea was too much for my tastebuds *blech* NEVER thought I’d see the day I could/would give that up. Only 5 swigs, and I was d.un. Ill take unsweetend w/splenda from here on out… Pls &thk u!

Anyone? what happens next? I'm ready to get this show on the road!!

My surgeon only makes it a requirement for ppl with a BMI of 40 or higher - greatly increases the success and reduces risks in surgery due to an enlarged fatty liver.

not BFE?! *LMAO* Bum F%^k Egypt, indeed! Glad you're back! You have such a way with words that just makes me giggle with delight. Such a riot, you are... I think im gonna try a yoga class or two (wil try it first onthe exercise channel) Also, not sure if you have it where you're located, but Bellydaning is an AWESOME exercise (be careful tho - hat's how I got knocked-up...seriously). When the weather is fully broken here, i'll be back at that 2x a week, plus yoga or zumba/samba. *giggety giggety* P.S. check ur msgs

SERIOUSLY. *ugh*

BTW - I have my consult on Monday. I'm sure gonna ask if this could be a normal way for my body to detox itself after years of eating CRAP...to all of a sudden start eating well...

It has been a very rough 3 days. IDK if it's food poisoning...have only been eating food i prepared myself (except the microwavable - which i always overcook, just in case) Could be stress...not sure. but seriously, it feels like a revolt. I know I better have lost some weight after all this body-drama! Pepto, immodium, tylenol, motrin, nothin put a stop to the terror *shivering in fear* I've been drinking water, and gatoradeG2...have had zero energy...and my eating has sucked - simply b/c im not hungry, and couldnt/cant keep anything down/in anyway. I'm about to try some noodle soup and a light sammy. We'll see... Thanks for checking in...

Vanishing Vixen. Vanishing… An interesting choice of adjectives for my new serial blogger moniker... as pointed out to me yesterday. I was asked if I would be “disappearing” my personality as well as my weight. :bored: *straightface* And was told (by someone that has known me for almost 20yrs) that I seem to be letting this journey get the best of me already...as if I plan to "vanish" into nothingness, or become a shrinking violet (AS IF!)*because* I'm so used to being a Big, Bold, Bodacious (sometimes brash, and VERY bossy *lol*) woman. Maybe the adjectives (all but the "big") that alot folk -self included- seem to think of me as… will indeed vanish when the weight starts coming off. *really ruminating & marinating on the implications* I mean, how much of my personality has been tied to my size? And has it been that way to mask insecurity, or just an extra measure of attention whorism? I have a hard time believing either of the two, really. While I do like to be complimented when I go the extra mile to be fully fabulous :tt1:(most of the time – yesterday, I looked like “Who slew Auntie Rue?” ‘s GRANDMOTHER *ugh*) , or my face beat like I'm a MAC Make-up artist, or I'm rocking some of my hottest GGX Jewels...what woman wouldn't want to be appreciated for her appearance? In fact, its also been pointed out that I have a hard time taking a compliment, and by NO means wish to be the center of attention when in a crowd or otherwise (unless we are talking about with my man, in the boudoir *smirk* :tt2:) Go figure. But... $h!t, I am who the hell I am. I AM cute. I AM sexy. I AM fabulous...I just haven't been feeling it as much lately. *shrug* It’s really made me think about this mental/emotional space I'm in. Does my larger-than-life, feisty personality seem to be shrinking (or vanishing, so to speak) much like I want my body to do? It’s been said that I seem to have been extremely hard on myself lately (more particularly, the last 6-9 mnths) in terms of my confidence, etc. Why is that? The fat ugly truth is a number of varied & sundry things. Alot not even having anything to do with my weight/size, so much as it has to do with other areas of my life. Some of which are totally unrelated, but are stressors none-the-less. I'm a wife (to man that works nights), still a relatively new "MeMe" (as she calls me) to a rambunxious lil 22mnt old squirt, I have a fairly stressful 9-5 career, on top of a jewelry biz that requires a lot of my time if I'm ever to make a go of it (why? Because *I* personally make everything myself. I’m not pushing other ppl’s wares, here). And a lot of times I feel ill-equipped to handle any of it - let alone all of it at once. *wooosahhhhh* So yeah, all of the combined stress (add to it this suck-@$$ economy) has a way of knockin a sistah off her game - in more ways than one. :tt2: So what on the surface may seem like one thing, is a culmination of others. And of course…I know. Things could ALWAYS be worse, so I AM grateful for my many blessings. There have just been a few "ah ha!" moments over the past year in particular, that made me realize that I am sooooo far from where I want (or planned) to be in my life at 35. Weight/health included. It be’s that way sometime. *shrug, again* IDK... Is it even really that serious? *lol* I'm hormonal this week. That may account for some of the bloggarhea today. Sometimes I just can't get out of my own head. But that doesn't make me crazy...it makes me human. And blogging it...helps me *relax.relate.release* it all. I'm not scared of what people will think of me for showing who I truly am. Good, bad, ugly, indifferent, confident, insecure, wealthy, poor, encouraged, defeated. It is what it is...and I am who I am. And what I've realized more than anything in my 5 or so years of bloggerdom, is that the folks who generally "seem" to have their $h!t together...don't. *lol* and sometimes are even more screwed up inside/in their life than me, or than they may ever let on to the world. The playing field is even, if you ask me.:glare: But nobody did [ask]... Oh well! I’m keeping on…keeping on…

SERIOUSLY. *ugh*

Yesterday, I was overcome by some type of "bug" out of the blue. Vomitting, hershey squirts, intense abdominal pain, fever...all seemingly out of nowhere, in the middle of the day. I didn't eat anything strange...and it seems to have passed. My husband mentioned that it "could" possibly be the recent changes in my eating. Has this happened to anyone? I haven't "officially" started my physician approved diet because my surgical consult isn't until Monday...but I HAVE drastically changed my eating habits, and will continue for the duration (3-4 small healthy meals/day, water, increase in fruit & veggies, etc) Has this happened to anyone???

Yesterday, I was overcome by some type of "bug" out of the blue. Vomitting, hershey squirts, intense abdominal pain, fever...all seemingly out of nowhere, in the middle of the day. I didn't eat anything strange...and it seems to have passed. My husband mentioned that it "could" possibly be the recent changes in my eating. Has this happened to anyone? I haven't "officially" started my physician approved diet because my surgical consult isn't until Monday...but I HAVE drastically changed my eating habits, and will continue for the duration (3-4 small healthy meals/day, water, increase in fruit & veggies, etc) Has this happened to anyone???