Big girl banded

I agree. Ultimatums are useless if not followed through but giving her a sense of "you can get control again" might be the empowerment she needs to get motivated and see the light again. I agree it is delicate but possible. Being firm about what the issues really are, the outcomes you want, and the expectations i think are great. Then everyone knows what page the other is on.

Becareful with Beans. Mexican restaurants ( and i use this term LOOSLEY when i say taco bell) Adds almost 1/2 of it with lard to fill it out and make it creamy. 85 cents is not a bargain if it has the health equivelint as a whopper. I have worked in restaurants for 17yrs. There is a reason stuff tastes better then our own cooking. When was the last time you scooped a bunch of lard into your dinner to make it creamy and delicious. The soups sound like a better idea to me or the smoothies

Ahhh Celexa... made me feel like a chihuahua on crack inside me. I had a terrible time on it. Meds can make people worse too. Prozac had been known to help Thousands if not more but it also makes some people suicidal and homicidal. Meds are tricky. That is why this should be something to look at too. Good luck

Cant you get some Soup from a restaurant as take out? I think a taste of fast food may open doors of temptation that you dont want. Good luck with you decision.

You can lead a horse to Water..... I am sorry this stress is in your life. But your wife must take some of the blame for her unhappines. Many people have spouses that work away for long periods of time. My father was like that. Sure it may have stressed the relationship some but that is when my stepmom planned all her girlie get togethers, went to the gym, cleaned out the closets (including throwing away all the junk she felt he didnt need to horde ) She doesnt sound like she is doing ANYTHING for herself but holding a huge pity party. I think the letter is a great idea. Less "in your face" gives her time to read and reread. Bcareful how you write it. It will be picked over again and again. Bready for fights/tears/resistance How about finding some great posts (just a few) that are inspirational and positive on here and printing out a few for her to read (she wont do this infront of you--- its sounds like she is very angry inside) But also print a few bad stories of people who have blown out their bands with their bad habits or havent lost any weight. True this issue is bigger then the band but this diet is bad and potentially very dangerous for her. Let her know you are doing this bc you love her and her health... dont focus on weight loss. (Its the "do these jeans make me look fat" trap) Focus on what she needs to be happy. Tell her to make a list. You wont be able to do all of it but maybe compromise on some. It may also get her to see that it isnt what YOU are doing but what she ISNT. It is ok to demand that she do SOMETHING to save this marriage too. It is not all about you staying home. Weight is no easy issue with women. The band is a new begining for most. I have shed many many tears over my weight. 2 suicide attempts as a teen had my weight as a top instigator (but no one to this day knows that) it is a secret, personal war for people. It is not easy to tell people you have no control over your own life. Or feel you have no control. If zoloft is not working then she needs another. It took me 6 different meds to find the one that helped. I finally got off them 3 yrs ago. I have good and bad days but i got thru the storm. I hope she does too. I wish you both luck.

I love the fact that he admitted to a mistake. They happen!! But it is refreshing to hear that he was upfront with you. He sound like a keeper, mistake and all!

My bmi has always been around 33-37 at my highest. I am glad i did it so far. I needed that extra help. I love food. All kinds. Mostly healthy but I CAN EAT>! I was hard on myself too. I know some people can do it. I am not them. I love working out but love food too much. Now this will help control it. You are who you are. Dont rake yourself over the coals ...it is a committment which is scary but i figure marriage and child birth are scarier committments bc this IS reversible!

Barry I agree. My doc told me i could have a fill if needed. I told him not now... why fix something not broken? I mean i am losing weight and feeling good with one so until the time i stop losing... why gets antsy. I have my first fill Dec1 or anytime from my request. We will see. I am losing about 3lbs a week. Not bad with just the band. Good luck to you. It is different for everyone obviously this is the best crash course i had on my body ever. Everyday i learn something new. :success1:

You may be alittle sensitive or allegric to betadine. That is the yellow stuff. It should go away. Try to wash that stuff off. If the rash is really bad, call the doc.

You are my band sister ( or brother? ) We were both banded on the same day. Welcome there is great information here.

Hey! we are Bandmates. I have lost 24 so dont feel bad. You lose immedialtely then the body has less to work with and suff so it slows the loss. Remember you dont want it to go away overnight. You want to have it go away gradually so you can do it healthy and keep it off. Quick weight loss is as bad on the heart as gain so take it slow. The weight didnt come on over night. You are doing GREAT You have ALREADY LOST ALMOST 30 LBS!:clap2: :clap2: Keep up the great work

Mushie is not bad. Things that are crunchy, hard to digest, that is bad. NO RED MEAT> too hard for the body on a good day. I went to creamy soups and mushy soups and mashed pot. They held me longer hunger wise but they also are SOFT> I also made a huge butternut squash, roasted it- gut it and put it in the fridge for a fast snack. It is a fall fruit and hearty but also soft. No breads, squishy things in the mush stage. I did fine. and am now almost one month out. It is all about remembering to be soft on the tummy that is irritated and angry that you have "wrassled it" with a little plastic lasso.

Chicken leg, turkey leg, leg of lamb, husbands leg... When you are on liquid/mushies it ALL sounds good!

Fullon my bruising got worse before better. Not nearly as bad as yours but it look a few weeks ( actually it has just now gone away completely) I bruise very easily because my liver enzymes were really high. (i have nash) which leads to easy bruising. Some people are just like that. I hope that it all clears up soon!

That is fine. Just dont eat them.:hungry: :biggrin1: I know everthing looks good right now but this too will pass.

I am a true aquarius including the "bad "parts...

I have an allergy to equal and alot of stuff has it in it. It caused headaches and such. Good luck tomorrow. You will be fine! Let us all know how you are doing when you feel up to it.

That is soo true. I worked in a shop for awhile but we were SOO busy i never got work done... but two of the guys ended up being my roomates which led to late night watching tv and workgin on me. I think it worked out great. lol

Sounds beautiful! I love alittle art on a beautiful woman! They are quite addicting arnt they? :thankyou:

The largest man i dated was a gorgeous man from Gyauna (spelled wrong i am sure.) He was very dark skin, about 6ft8 and about 320. The skinnest man i dated was 6ft and 138 and he was almost see thru white. I like them all sizes. I am not sure that i would date someone that has a hard time getting around. I am SOOO active that it would cause issues. I am not the sit around type. But they could be huge as long as they were still active and wanting to do stuff. I did settle down with a skinny though. But i had to talk it out with family and friends and him bc i was afraid that it would build on my insecurities and stuff, i mean. FOR REAL> he is 33 and still in 30/34 jeans. Shopping for both of us is difficult!! lol.

I have a little wild child still left in me.:angel: The only thing i see as something to get used to is not my tattoos going into shape, i think they will adapt nicely but the post sticking into my ribs when i ride. :thankyou:

tattoos- Right arm Gargoyle Left arm- Foo dog ( the chinese dogs in front of restaurants) Right ankle bone- flaming star Lower back from one side to the next- wrought Iron fencing Upper back- Bonsai tree in a storm Front stomach- ornate design (in the scar section of this forum) Motorcycles; 2 Fzr 600 and an xs1100

It is just money J. Yes it is important but your life and health are more. You will get thru this time of tight money . It may get a little worse before it gets better but it WILL be better. And hopefully you will be bouncing around in no time!! Take care.. stay stress free as possible and enjoy life.

Newsho... you rock. I promise to never try to cross you. You are obviously one smart and articulate woman. Your comments are right on target, concise and correct. I agree with you.

Heating pad and a movie or two. Good Luck!