wootsie73

Hum.....Very interesting question. I know my 18 y/o self would be totally surprised at how my life has turned out at 50. She would be proud that I eventually finished college and became a nurse at 35, but shocked at my choice of careers. She would be shocked that I got divorced and never remarried. Close numerous times, but no cigar. She would be very surprised that I allowed the pain from my romantic relationships to keep me from dating for 25 years. She would be proud of me for owning my own home and doing it by myself, although I don't still own it. She would be devasted that I became so obese after making fun of my obese relatives. She would be shocked that I became disabled at the age of 46. She would be proud of me for returning to college to higher my degree even though I was disabled. She would be thrilled that I got my daughter raised and still alive at the age of 33. She would be devastated that my daughter is not following the Christian way of life that she was raised with by choosing an alternative religion. She would be shocked that I'm still sitting here in my pj's at 5 pm with 5 dogs running around. She would be estatic that I have taken charge of my life and decided to have wls despite what everyone else thinks. She would be extremely proud of me for having enough sense to do something about my weight. She would be surprised that I have no self-esteem and am so depressed most of the time. But most of all, she would be proud that I have become a good and caring person who always puts others before myself, until now....

This should be a very happy day for me, because I finally saw Dr Provost yesterday and think he's gonna be great. However, my personal life is going to hell in a hand basket. First, Desiree hasn't worked but 1 day this entire schedule. She's worried about paying her rent and bills, but I'm not only don't have the money to fix it this time like I always have in the past when possible, but I wouldn't if I did. She is so irresponsible with her money all the time that it makes me sick. Shes was crying earlier and I felt sorry for her, but I also told her I didn't have the money to pay her bills and I was going to have my surgery, so she wasn't gettng the little bit of money I have saved. I know she hates me sometimes, but that's part of being a parent. I don't like her very much myself sometimes. I tried to talk to her tonight about her new found wicca religion, but we ended up arguing about it, as usual. I don't know what to do but pray about it. I feel responsible for it, but I know she's an adult and has to make her own decisions in life. I just pray that she realizes how wrong she is someday soon. I miss my daughter and I feel like she's a stranger to me in some ways because of this. I've tried to read her books and tried to understand what she is doing, but I can't get past the part about being a Christian and knowing that witchcraft is evil. The Bible says so in so many places, but she won't listen to me. I'm afraid for her soul and it just hurts so bad sometimes that I physically feel the pain. I've cried, I've yelled, I've been calm and talked to her, but nothing seems to work. I am going to turn it over to God. I know he still works miracles everyday. I'm so upset with Donny that I can't see straight. I'm soooooooo sick and tired of hearing about all of these other women that I'm about to stop talking to him period. He knows that it upsets me, because I've told him over and over, but he doesn't care. In fact, I think he enjoys my pain sometimes and that's what hurts the most. Is he hurting me on purpose, or am I just taking it wrong? He's gotten to where he rarely calls me anymore and when he does, all he talks about is Sandy, Kandy, and now there's Carol thrown into the mix. He gets mad if I say ugly things about them, but sometimes I just can't help it. Where were they when he was threatening to commit suicide everyday? Where were they when he so desparately need a good friend to talk to? They weren't there is the answer to it. Hell, he didn't even know any of them then. So, the only person, besides his sister, that was there for him is now being treat like shit. I have done nothing to deserve this kind of treatment and have never allowed anyone to treat me this way before. Am I really that desparate, or is it that I love him? I just don't know anymore, but I'm going to end it soon if things don't change. He's offered to get all of my stuff out of storage and store it in his shop, but I don't know if I want to feel that obligated to him. I just don't know what to do anymore. Ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! At least the way it is now I can tell him to FO and won't have to worry about not getting my stuff back. I need to get my stuff out of storage before they sell everything I own, thanks to Desiree, but I am very uncomfortable with the way our relationship is going these days. Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day. I need to focus on myself and getting healthy more than focusing on these idiots around me. And they wonder why I can't stop smoking. Hell, they wouldn't be able to either if I were doing this crap to them. It's just that I feel so totally alone right now. I know it's the bipolar thing going on partially, but I don't think thats all of it. I think I'm being treated like shit by everyone around me and I'm basically helpless to do anything about it because I'm disabled. I just need someone to hold me and tell me everything will be better soon. If it isn't, I don't know if I can make it.

This should be a very happy day for me, because I finally saw Dr Provost yesterday and think he's gonna be great. However, my personal life is going to hell in a hand basket. First, Desiree hasn't worked but 1 day this entire schedule. She's worried about paying her rent and bills, but I'm not only don't have the money to fix it this time like I always have in the past when possible, but I wouldn't if I did. She is so irresponsible with her money all the time that it makes me sick. Shes was crying earlier and I felt sorry for her, but I also told her I didn't have the money to pay her bills and I was going to have my surgery, so she wasn't gettng the little bit of money I have saved. I know she hates me sometimes, but that's part of being a parent. I don't like her very much myself sometimes. I tried to talk to her tonight about her new found wicca religion, but we ended up arguing about it, as usual. I don't know what to do but pray about it. I feel responsible for it, but I know she's an adult and has to make her own decisions in life. I just pray that she realizes how wrong she is someday soon. I miss my daughter and I feel like she's a stranger to me in some ways because of this. I've tried to read her books and tried to understand what she is doing, but I can't get past the part about being a Christian and knowing that witchcraft is evil. The Bible says so in so many places, but she won't listen to me. I'm afraid for her soul and it just hurts so bad sometimes that I physically feel the pain. I've cried, I've yelled, I've been calm and talked to her, but nothing seems to work. I am going to turn it over to God. I know he still works miracles everyday. I'm so upset with Donny that I can't see straight. I'm soooooooo sick and tired of hearing about all of these other women that I'm about to stop talking to him period. He knows that it upsets me, because I've told him over and over, but he doesn't care. In fact, I think he enjoys my pain sometimes and that's what hurts the most. Is he hurting me on purpose, or am I just taking it wrong? He's gotten to where he rarely calls me anymore and when he does, all he talks about is Sandy, Kandy, and now there's Carol thrown into the mix. He gets mad if I say ugly things about them, but sometimes I just can't help it. Where were they when he was threatening to commit suicide everyday? Where were they when he so desparately need a good friend to talk to? They weren't there is the answer to it. Hell, he didn't even know any of them then. So, the only person, besides his sister, that was there for him is now being treat like shit. I have done nothing to deserve this kind of treatment and have never allowed anyone to treat me this way before. Am I really that desparate, or is it that I love him? I just don't know anymore, but I'm going to end it soon if things don't change. He's offered to get all of my stuff out of storage and store it in his shop, but I don't know if I want to feel that obligated to him. I just don't know what to do anymore. Ugh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! At least the way it is now I can tell him to FO and won't have to worry about not getting my stuff back. I need to get my stuff out of storage before they sell everything I own, thanks to Desiree, but I am very uncomfortable with the way our relationship is going these days. Hopefully, tomorrow will be a better day. I need to focus on myself and getting healthy more than focusing on these idiots around me. And they wonder why I can't stop smoking. Hell, they wouldn't be able to either if I were doing this crap to them. It's just that I feel so totally alone right now. I know it's the bipolar thing going on partially, but I don't think thats all of it. I think I'm being treated like shit by everyone around me and I'm basically helpless to do anything about it because I'm disabled. I just need someone to hold me and tell me everything will be better soon. If it isn't, I don't know if I can make it.

Oh Carlene, I agree that smoking should be done only outside away from entrances to buildings, but do you really think people are going to let their kids go hungry or barefoot in Texas because of this increase in taxes? I certainly hope not! I, for one, am trying very hard to quit right now. Partically because of that outrageous tax, and because of my health. I know only to well how bad it is for me, so I'm trying to quit AGAIN! Please wish me luck guys!

You are wrong about unruly children not causing others lung cancer! They drive me nuts, which in turn makes me smoke even more, so yes, they are helping me along the way! I've always said there should be child free resturants just as much as non-smoking ones! I have to add that I have a 33 year old daughter to, but there were just some places I didn't take her when she was little. However, my child was rarely unruly like todays kids are because she was disiplined. Most kids today just do whatever they want when they want, because the GOVERNMENT again will get you if you disipline your child. And, I'm not talking about child abuse either!

W0W Bullwindle, I totally agree with you! How could someone be that cold to their spouse. Makes you wonder....:omg:

Oh Tired_Old_Man, You are sooooooo wrong on that 1. Your and I have to add mine as well, over eating causes every American taxpayer money everyday! The co-morbities obese people have cause insurance to cost more, therefore, healthcare in general costs more. So, the abuse of foods does hurt other people. As a nurse, I can tell you that over eating is the 2nd leading cause of death in this country, right behind tobacco abuse. So, the analogy is right on. And, you didn't have anything to say about the genetic profiling we are facing in the near future. Is Uncle Sam going to make people with genetic defects like diabetes stop having children? I can assure you, that once the government gets involved in ANY area of our personal lives, everything else is up for grabs! That also includes your ability to own that 350 magnum you like to shoot. Now gun control is a hot topic!

As a smoker myself, I hate that I smoke and I'm not strong enough to quit the nasty habit for good! It's not like you can just quit because someone tells you you need to. It's not that easy, for me at least. I've quit several times and am attempting to quit now, but I struggle with it everyday of my life. I know it's unhealthy for me, hell, I'm a nurse! And, I totally understand that it's offensive to lots of people, but I think our government has to much control over what we do already without passing laws like this 1. Here in Texas, it's on a city by city basis. Some cities you can smoke in resturants and others you can't. However, no matter how offensive it is to you, the smoker is also an American citizen with rights just like nonsmokers have. I'm not saying smokers should be able to smoke when and where ever they want to, but there should be some kind of limits on what the government is and isn't able to tell us what to do and how to do it. It's sort of like Nazi Germany here now. Not just about smoking either, but I won't go into other issues on this thread. What's going to be next though? Think about it people. Are they going to pass a law that fat people can't be in certain places? What about being descriminated against about your weight for jobs. What about companies not covering you on insurance because you are obese? Even worse, what about not being able to get insurance because you have been found to have genetic defects for diabetes, hemophilia, etc. These are huge issues everyone needs to think about when they choose 1 issue to be so strong willed about. This is America and we are supposed to be THE LAND OF THE FREE! So which of the freedoms you as a nonsmoker willing to give up because someone doesn't like what you do? How about fast food, or eating in resturants at all. Maybe eating certain foods like beef being outlawed? Just some food for thought. No pun intended!

Terrilen, I feel your pain girl! Since I'm also disabled, I was getting most of my medications free through a program at the Human Resources, welfare, office. I had to start paying for all of my meds plus the Medicare Part D! So, I now get less money than I did my very first disability check, which was 4 years ago now. I make to much on my disability to get assistance paying for it, so I have to struggle. My docs are very good about giving generics when possible, so ask them and this might be a good option for you. I also chose Humana for the Part D. I still have regular Medicare for the docs, but be aware that if you want to get Medicare Supplementary insurance, you only have an open enrollment for 6 months after you become disabled. I wasn't aware of that, so I can't get any extra coverage at this point. I was going to change to a Medicare Advantage plan, which is the same thing as an HMO, but my lap-band surgeon doesn't take any of them. So, I decided getting 80% paid for was a lot better than none. You can go to the Medicare website and compare some of the plans that are offered in your area. That's how I chose mine. Good luck with this!

WOW! That's a pretty brutal diet, but I guess your doc has his reasons for it. Mine told me I would be on a low carb, low fat diet. I don't think I could make it with no carbs at all, but I know I have to cut them to the bone, so maybe your doc is right about it.

I posted about this same subject earlier today on another thread. One of the main reasons we are obese to begin with is we all have an addiction to carbs, which makes it impossible to lose weight. I was on a modified Atkins diet this past summer that my cardiologist told me about. I had a Protein shake every morning for breakfast, and a low carb low fat meals for lunch and supper. I would make chicken soup with no corn or potatoes or Pasta in it. I would put healthy veggies in it like yellow squash, okra, etc. I would eat baked chicken or fish for dinner with something like green Beans and salad. Of course the menu changed somewhat, but I lost 40 lbs doing it. At first, I stayed hungry all the time because of cutting out the carbs. Then, suddenly 1 day the craving for the carbs just went away and I felt satisfied with what I was eating. Then, I started having major gastric problems and started cheating, because everything was just running straight through me anyway, and I didn't gain weight. When I finally got the gastric problem resolved, I continued to crave the carbs again. I have now gained back much of the weight I had lost. I'm still eating carbs because I'm not banded yet. I have my initial consultation with my surgeon this coming Friday and I hope it helps me to get things going with getting banded. My PCP also told me to buy the book Sugar Busters and it has some great information in it. I think it lets you eat way to many carbs, but it does teach you how to keep you blood sugar levels down, especially if you are diabetic like I am. Lets all get on the no carb wagon and get this weight off permanently!

Jack and the others who have talked about carb addiction are right on target. Carbohydrates are very addictive and hard to get off of. I had 3 stents placed this past summer, luckily not in my heart, and my cardiologist told me to go on a no carb low fat diet. It was very hard at first, but one day I just stopped craving them. I did really well on the diet until I started having gastric problems. Since everything was just running through me, I just started eating what I wanted and I wasn't gaining weight. After the problem was discovered and I felt better, I kept on eating the carbs I had started eating again. So, now I've gain back most of the weight I lost and I've started smoking again too! I know I have to get off of the cigarettes before surgery, so hense the therapist. I know I'm not eating or smoking because the food tastes good and I enjoy the cigarettes. I'm doing it to medicate myself and I know that. However, this is a new year and I have my initial consultation with my surgeon on Friday, so I'm working to stop the smoking at least before I see him this week. Wish me luck! Joan

Thanks for the response Terrilen. I was wondering why, but you answered my question. I am going to see a therapist to, so I can work through all of the issues that got me to this state in the first place. Good luck to you and keep us posted on your progress. Joan

Terrilen, I have a difficult time understand why any doctor would band you with bulimia! I thought they were supposed to make sure you didn't have an eating disorder before you had the surgery. Since I'm not banded yet, it just strikes me as insane for a doctor to do that. I guess Sharon Osborne has made this issue public knowledge with her having her band removed, but I still thought you had to have a psych evaluation before you could have the surgery. Please explain because I'm confused on this one.

Well, it's the horrible New Year's Eve again. I hate this day almost more than I hate Valentine's Day. It really sucks, especially this year. I'm home (in Sherman at Desiree's) alone while she is at her boyfriend's house. Oh well, at least I have the 5 dogs here to kiss at midnight! I'm getting nervous about my appointment with Dr Provost Friday. Desiree was supposed to call all of my old doctors for me since I was traveling to my brother's, but apparently she didn't get any of my medical records. It would have helped if she had at least told me she wasn't able to get them. I'm going to have to spend Tuesday on the phone trying to get this done before Friday. I also found out that Desiree has to work Friday night, so I have to go to my appointment alone. I'm terrified enough without having to go alone. I'm afraid I'm going to forget to ask questions and that kind of thing. Desiree is much better at remembering what the doctor tells me than I am. So, I wish I didn't have to go alone. All of the puppies are gone now except for Spot. :think I thought he would be the first to go, but he's the last. He has such a good personality and is so cute, I just can't believe we still have him. A couple in Waco bought Bella and AJ. They were only supposed to get Bella, but her husband fell in love with AJ when he saw him, so they took both of them. I think they are going to a great home. They were so nice and promised to love them like babies. They also said we could call and check on them any time we wanted to, so I think they will be treated very well there. I bought a meter to check my blood sugar when I was at my brother's and it has been running very high. Of course, I didn't eat like I should through Christmas, but I thought it would be going down now that I'm here alone. I just have to get this under control before I have surgery. Donny is diabetic and his averages around 100, so he is not happy with me. I will get it under control this week. I'm not happy with Donny very much these days. In fact, I told him I had to go last night and hung up on him. He called me right back, but I was in such a pissy mood that I think I depressed him. He is driving me crazy talking about all these women all the time. First it was Sheila and Keri, but then it turned to Kandace who he was buying all kinds of expensive things for. For example, he bought her a diamond necklace and a new coat. This past week he has gotten off of her most of the time, but he is talking about a new girl, Sandy, but not near as much as he did Kandace. Then, last night he met a new one named Carol! I don't understand why he feels compelled to tell me about all of them. I don't know if it's to upset me, or just talking as a friend. I tend to believe he is trying to make me jealous, and it's working! I hate it when I let him know he is getting to me, but sometimes it's like my mouth just opens and spits out words without my control. I'm going to have to start acting like I don't care about him, or he is going to drive me insane! I'm really depressed tonight anyway because of New Year's. At least I have the Rose Bowl parade to look forward to in the morning. I think I really need to get a life! It's only 10:00 pm and I'm ready for bed. That's just sad I think. I will be alright because, after all, tomorrow is another day.....

Well, it's the horrible New Year's Eve again. I hate this day almost more than I hate Valentine's Day. It really sucks, especially this year. I'm home (in Sherman at Desiree's) alone while she is at her boyfriend's house. Oh well, at least I have the 5 dogs here to kiss at midnight! I'm getting nervous about my appointment with Dr Provost Friday. Desiree was supposed to call all of my old doctors for me since I was traveling to my brother's, but apparently she didn't get any of my medical records. It would have helped if she had at least told me she wasn't able to get them. I'm going to have to spend Tuesday on the phone trying to get this done before Friday. I also found out that Desiree has to work Friday night, so I have to go to my appointment alone. I'm terrified enough without having to go alone. I'm afraid I'm going to forget to ask questions and that kind of thing. Desiree is much better at remembering what the doctor tells me than I am. So, I wish I didn't have to go alone. All of the puppies are gone now except for Spot. :think I thought he would be the first to go, but he's the last. He has such a good personality and is so cute, I just can't believe we still have him. A couple in Waco bought Bella and AJ. They were only supposed to get Bella, but her husband fell in love with AJ when he saw him, so they took both of them. I think they are going to a great home. They were so nice and promised to love them like babies. They also said we could call and check on them any time we wanted to, so I think they will be treated very well there. I bought a meter to check my blood sugar when I was at my brother's and it has been running very high. Of course, I didn't eat like I should through Christmas, but I thought it would be going down now that I'm here alone. I just have to get this under control before I have surgery. Donny is diabetic and his averages around 100, so he is not happy with me. I will get it under control this week. I'm not happy with Donny very much these days. In fact, I told him I had to go last night and hung up on him. He called me right back, but I was in such a pissy mood that I think I depressed him. He is driving me crazy talking about all these women all the time. First it was Sheila and Keri, but then it turned to Kandace who he was buying all kinds of expensive things for. For example, he bought her a diamond necklace and a new coat. This past week he has gotten off of her most of the time, but he is talking about a new girl, Sandy, but not near as much as he did Kandace. Then, last night he met a new one named Carol! I don't understand why he feels compelled to tell me about all of them. I don't know if it's to upset me, or just talking as a friend. I tend to believe he is trying to make me jealous, and it's working! I hate it when I let him know he is getting to me, but sometimes it's like my mouth just opens and spits out words without my control. I'm going to have to start acting like I don't care about him, or he is going to drive me insane! I'm really depressed tonight anyway because of New Year's. At least I have the Rose Bowl parade to look forward to in the morning. I think I really need to get a life! It's only 10:00 pm and I'm ready for bed. That's just sad I think. I will be alright because, after all, tomorrow is another day.....

KristiB, I'm a nurse, so I can totally understand exactly what you mean about the boobs and veins, etc. I ALWAYS look at peoples veins and want to stick them myself, so you're not alone. LOL It's just part of being in the medical field I guess. New Year's is going to be a real bummer for me to. I am home taking care of the 5 dogs while my daughter is at her boyfriend's house celebrating with him. Plus, she doesn't care that I'm home alone either. Ugh!!!!!!!!! Kids! Anyway, that's what my night is going to consist of. No alcohol, but I will kiss the dogs. LOL Things aren't going well in the man department either. Donny seems to be obsessed with a different woman every other day, and I haven't heard from Steve. I'm a bit surprised I haven't, but I would have always wondered if I hadn't written to him. Donny still calls everyday, but he talks about other women all the time. Oh well, I will survive. All but 1 of the puppies are gone guys. Spot, my daughter's favorite is the only 1 left. I sure hope someone buys him soon. I'm sick of taking care of him. My mom made me bring the 2 little dogs to Sherman with me, so I'm taking care of 5 this weekend. I think I need some cheese with my whine! Joan

KristiB, I totally understand what you mean. I also like to look at the back side and I think George Strait has the best one I've seen in his tight Wranglers. LOL But, I think you're right about the analogy you used. Men like to have someone on their arm who they WANT to be seen with no matter what kind of character she has. In other words, they want a trophy girlfriend or wife, no matter what the guy looks like. They tend to look first and ask questions later, if that makes sense. That's been my experience anyway. So, I don't think they are necessarily of bad character if they aren't interested in me heavy. No other man has been interested in a long time, so why should they be? It's just the reality of our society unfortunately. Do I think it's ok for them to feel this way? Absolutely not, but that's just the way it works. I know I will have a much better chance of finding my ideal man after I get skinny, but I guess that's ok to. I am not particularly interested in men who are as much over weight as I am, so I shouldn't expect them to be interested in me either. Joan

You guys are such an inspiration to me. I feel your pain and I have the exact same issues all of you have. I also know I'm in great need of extensive therapy. Not only for my eating, but for other issues I have never dealt with that helped get me here to begin with. Sometimes when I'm binge eating, it's like an out of body experience for me. It's like I am another person watching myself eat and not being able to control it. I just hate it so much! For example, a few weeks ago I bought some Little Debbie Apple Flips. I like them because they're not too sweet. Before I knew it, I was going back for more after I had eaten 2. And going back for more after I'd eaten 4, until the entire box was gone. I could see and feel myself eating, but I couldn't stop myself from doing it. After I was finished, I felt horrible and finally just cried myself to sleep. I have decided I'm going to see a therapist to help me deal with all of these issues, or I will end up right back where I started; fat and miserable. I hope everyone else who has responded will make the effort to get some help. All of us need it.

Well, it's December 21st and I'm at my brother's for Christmas. I'm getting to see a lot of my family, but they are kinda stressing me out. I quit smoking, so that makes it a little worse, but I am dealing with it ok. I'm sort of lonely because everyone is kinda doing their own thing today, but I'm glad I have the time to rest. Dezz has sold all of the female puppies and 1 of the males. We still have EJ, AJ, and Spot. Very surprised he wasn't the 1st to go since he's so cute and fun. Dezz is wanting to keep him, but she knows she can't. Who know what will happen. She has to get rid of them soon. All is pretty uneventful today, but I'm getting very excited about my consult with Dr Provost January 5th. Time is really moving fast now. I'm getting all of my medical records and things together, so I hope I will be ready. Dr Hutson told me on Monday that I'm now diabetic. She started me on meds, but I have stopped taking them until I can get a meter to monitor my glucose levels. I will get one soon.

Well, it's December 21st and I'm at my brother's for Christmas. I'm getting to see a lot of my family, but they are kinda stressing me out. I quit smoking, so that makes it a little worse, but I am dealing with it ok. I'm sort of lonely because everyone is kinda doing their own thing today, but I'm glad I have the time to rest. Dezz has sold all of the female puppies and 1 of the males. We still have EJ, AJ, and Spot. Very surprised he wasn't the 1st to go since he's so cute and fun. Dezz is wanting to keep him, but she knows she can't. Who know what will happen. She has to get rid of them soon. All is pretty uneventful today, but I'm getting very excited about my consult with Dr Provost January 5th. Time is really moving fast now. I'm getting all of my medical records and things together, so I hope I will be ready. Dr Hutson told me on Monday that I'm now diabetic. She started me on meds, but I have stopped taking them until I can get a meter to monitor my glucose levels. I will get one soon.

It's strange to hear an ex-smoker say that if smokers faced the facts about smoking they would automatically quit. That's an absurd statement IMO. First, you do have to want to quit, but it's not as easy for some people as it is others. Nicotine has proven to be more addictive than heroin, so it's rough for people to just stop because they want to. I am an RN and know better than anyone what smoking does to me, but I am still struggling to stay off of them. I have smoked since I was 15 years old, long before I became a nurse. However, it can be done and I'm working very hard to stay off of them. There are medications that can help you quit. One of them is Wellbutrin, which is the same thing as Zyban only much cheaper and paid for by most insurance plans. There is also a new medication that's supposed to work twice as well called Chantix. I have tried the Chantix and didn't find it more helpful, but my pulmologist says it is. So, right now I'm taking Wellbutrin and using nicotine patches together. The combination works very well for me. I was on the Wellbutrin for 2 weeks before I attempted to stop, but after that, it has not been as difficult as I thought it would be. As I said, I'm still struggling, but I'm very proud of myself for making the effort.:clap2: I know I'm gonna make it this time!

Well, today was a much better day. I went to the seminar Dr Provost's office has once a month. I was a little disappointed in it because they couldn't get the computer to work, but I did learn a little bit of new information. I met some people I have been talking to on the obesityhelp.com website then went to dinner with them. I had a good time. I really appreciated Dezz going with me and paying for the dinner. I just wanted her to know exactly what I was going to have done. I think she will be totally supportive once I have the surgery. Donny called again tonight, which kinda surprised me. He even called yesterday and said he was surprised I would talk to him. Actually, I was so out of it when he called yesterday, I didn't see his name on the phone or I probably wouldn't have answered. Anyway, he is stressing me out, but I have to learn to deal with the stress better, so I think it may be good for me. I'm going to try to get into some kind of therapy like Dr Hutson told me to, or I will end up back in the same position I'm in now with my weight. Not sure who, but I have to find someone. Overall, it was a much better day than day before yesterday. Yesterday I was so totally out of it, I really didn't have anything significant happen.

Well, today was a much better day. I went to the seminar Dr Provost's office has once a month. I was a little disappointed in it because they couldn't get the computer to work, but I did learn a little bit of new information. I met some people I have been talking to on the obesityhelp.com website then went to dinner with them. I had a good time. I really appreciated Dezz going with me and paying for the dinner. I just wanted her to know exactly what I was going to have done. I think she will be totally supportive once I have the surgery. Donny called again tonight, which kinda surprised me. He even called yesterday and said he was surprised I would talk to him. Actually, I was so out of it when he called yesterday, I didn't see his name on the phone or I probably wouldn't have answered. Anyway, he is stressing me out, but I have to learn to deal with the stress better, so I think it may be good for me. I'm going to try to get into some kind of therapy like Dr Hutson told me to, or I will end up back in the same position I'm in now with my weight. Not sure who, but I have to find someone. Overall, it was a much better day than day before yesterday. Yesterday I was so totally out of it, I really didn't have anything significant happen.