xxLaireaxx

Sorry I've been gone so long lol I had a busy weekend. Idk what sizes probably 22/24 I think but they mostly go by the letter sizing XL...XXL etc.

Rainbow has nice clothes, but honestly they're horrible quality and the people who work in rainbows arent very nice so be careful. I used to like that store but they don't go that big so i stopped going

Its okay lol.

That's good that you have someone who knows the area, avoiding the train is a good thing to do anyway.

Lame, well if I find anything that relieves stress (besides eating lol) I'll tell you xD

Lol well whenever you have it yay for breaks :/ I have midterms now though, which sucks. And some trains aren't that bad, but the ones in Manhattan are crowded.

Lol it works but barely xD I need new techniques

No I'd love that we should read each other's work lol bonding xD. I could show you some stuff now i just dont know how I feel about them lol. Yeah trains are scary I've seen things no one should see on them...very bad thiiiings. But as long as you avoid the train's you should be fine. Now I want to go to manhattan lol the 25th is my spring break

Yeah as soon as I get it tuned lol. I have to go to a music store all the way in Brooklyn with two guitars on a train, that's gonna suck xD. But I think maybe...once I'm motivated I actually want to write a whole bunch of songs based on what I've been through because of my weight. Like addiction to food, being shot down so many times by people who are supposed to love you. I've never written anything that personal before so who knows

Lol wtf? That sucks. When I get stressed out. I need to just freak out and then be left alone it's just how I work lol

Lol you never know. People might find it interesting. I just bought a new electric guitar today lol yay for things I don't know how to use.

Lol my chorus teacher was my English and Drama teacher in High School xD I would absolutely love that. I actually am writing a book it's pretty unorignal though. And the poems turning to songs things happens to me too lol Sometimes songs into poems though as well

I wish it didn't exist too I stress out a lot...more than necessary lol

I like to write: poetry, stories, etc. I think I'm going to be a high school English teacher or Drama teacher if I decide to minor in theater

Lol I do enjoy singing. And I'll admit I sometimes like my voice in bits and pieces. It's like...very particular to what songs it lets me sing (lol like its a person). I have a piano and a guitar, but I can't really afford lessons so it's like a slow self learning thing xD And I don't think I can give up on my dream just yet, I mean I'm still pretty young and if I don't try now I'll always be like "what if blah blah blah". But I'm in school with Liberal Arts right now, soon to be English Major, idk what minor

Lol You never know. I don't think I could make a demo tape, I actually hate my voice and don't get what people hear. It's kind of weird like...no matter what song I sing you still hear my voice...it's weird to explain. If I knew how to play guitar I don't think I'd want a band as much lol

That sounds like a lot to handle, no wonder your head is acting up. You sound like you need some serious you time :/ Because you'll probably just get worse if you don't step back a little. Stress sucks

Holy crap! I think we're like soul twins lol. I write songs and perform too and everyone tells me to go on AI too. I've just always wanted a band because I'm very much into rock music, but I'm starting to think if I don't even try on my own no band is going to want me regardless of my weight. It's what I love to do but I'm just scared of failure...and people judging me. Yeah you're right it is mind power...but we should always start sooner rather then later, because this change isn't fast and as we're just letting the change happen, dreams and opportunities can pass us by...

I know! Lol but it's done and I survived and now that my mind is free from schoolwork essays it's moved on to thinking of my uncertain future and stuff. I have had so many rambling thoughts lately it's crazy...too much going on because of this weight loss. It gets surreal and scary you know.

Lol rambling is good for the soul. I think this experience will definitely be one to tear you down before it builds you up confidence wise though. Because about a week after I had the surgery I already started realizing. "What the heck am I going to do?" It's hard to gain something that's invisible and you've never had to know how it feels. I've always faked confidence, gone for things people will tell me not to and been a people pleaser, but at the same time I've never thought about what I've wanted to pursue. If I could actually make my dreams come true etc. Like I've always wanted to be in a band. But "who wants an overweight lead singer?" soooo overall I just...I'm wondering so much lately about what's possible now. And I hate not knowing...so it's a break down you know...it's weird

I'm glad you're feeling better It was an english paper. TEN PAGES on the symbolism of blood

Exactly. I too am 350+. And I haven't lost any friends yet, but I don't doubt that I will. I've done a lot of things, and been in a lot of groups that people would normally think big girls shouldn't be in and that's why I've had to deal with so many skinny girls. I used to be on a cheerleading squad in high school about 180 "friends" all weighing less then me and standing in front of a mirror pinching the little fat they have saying how disgusting they look. It just hurts you know. That's why I like this website, because it's full of beautiful people who would appreciate losing even just a little weight and I think once we're all skinnier well be just...like such incredible "normal" people, because we know how it feels to be different. Lol sorry I ramble a lot xD

Lol yeah it's nice. Sorry it took me a few days to respond, I had a project LAME. How are you feeling now?

Yea, I think it's only with Medicare you don't need the six months lol. But either way the six months really do help so it's best What's your goal weight? I've wanted to be 160...and my friends all think that's still big Sometimes having skinny friends just doesn't help with this you know