RavenClaw779

I had my band removed last December after three years of problems. I'm struggling with controlling my weight, but taking it day-by-day. Within the last week, despite my careful diet control I.e., salads, yogurt - no sugar, junk food etc., I've developed pain in the area of my gall bladder. When I push on the area - who hasn't had something they've worried about and can't stop touching - I get an instant acid reflux feeling in my throat!? Is this nuts? Has anyone else experienced this? This long after band removal? Seeing my doctor on Thursday, but I can't help worrying.

Thanks for the good wishes!

Thanks for your pointed comments on your belief that weight loss doesn't plateau when you take in too little. Since I'm clearly no expert - apparently I'm just a fat girl who didn't try hard enough - let me state that I'm repeating what both my WLS and his nutritionist said. Must've been the fact that my hair was falling out, I had sores in my mouth and was covered in bruises from poor nutrition. Per the experts, once your body hits starvation mode, slow to minimal to no weight loss is not uncommon.

I'm seven months out and up 30 pounds since band removal. I spent almost two years vomiting 90% of what I'd eat, so probably took in about 700 calories a day. My weight loss stopped since I was taking in too little. After the band was out, I'll admit indulged a bit, but got back on the Weight Watchers wagon. Even with counting, tracking, measuring, the weight will not budge. I have no doubt my metabolism is completely screwed up. Still not sure I'd have a second procedure as the complications the last go around we're awful and the whole deal was very expensive.

Definitely over-enjoyed my band freedom and regained 17 pounds eating without abandon. Some problems persist: Pills are still tough to get down. I can eat raw carrots and radishes, but they do get a bit stuck if I'm not careful. Had to give up tomato juice - acid reflux. Have to take an antacid before eating something with tomato sauce or anything remotely greasy - surprise! turkey bacon is a bit too fatty for me. Still feel banded when I eat with a bra on The weight gain gave me that out-of-control feeling and I started considering the gastric sleeve or the full bypass until it dawned on me that neither restricts your eating persay. It might take you longer to get it down and you might end up vomiting or dumping, but if you're an emotional and/or binge eater, you're likely to press on. Actually started missing my band with the thought that at least it kept me from blossoming back to 283. Then I started listening to myself and it sounded like I wasn't taking any responsibility for any of my weight issues, but I still decided I couldn't trust myself. I mentioned to my husband that I was thinking of going to an informational seminar at a new bariatrics practice which just opened locally with a highly respected surgeon. He said he thought I was, "nuts" but he'd go with me if I really wanted to go down this road again. Still on the fence when I got a call from an old friend who was aware I'd had the procedure, but not the complications. We got to talking. He begged me not to go through another surgery - he and his wife just lost a good friend who'd gone in for the sleeve and died several days later from a blood clot. Yes, I know, all surgery has risks but it sat in the back of my mind... About a week later, I had lunch with a new friend who didn't know I'd had the procedure, but was aware of my apparent inability to eat much of anything. When I ordred something besides my usual soup, she mentioned it was good to see me actually eating something. This opened the door and I told her about my band experience. Her response surprised me - she commented that I was "lucky" to have made it!? Apparently, she has a friend who'd used the same surgeon as I. Her friend also was banded, and ended up in the hospital for over a month with complications. She survived but continues to have troubles. Again, Yes - I know, all surgery has risks but it sat in the back of my mind... Yesterday sealed the deal. One of my business associates had sleeve surgery about six weeks ago. He seemed to be doing fine. We were schedule to meet yesterday afternoon to discuss a proposal. When he didn't show, I called his office. His assistant told me he'd collapsed at work in severe pain and they had to call 911. I'm still waiting to hear what happened - all I know is he's, "stable". Maybe it has nothing to do with his sleeve surgery - but is that likely? That old saying about things happening in threes got me thinking that maybe this is a sign and I should pay attention. I've decided it's time to parent myself. If I won't feed my nieces and nephews crap, why am I feeding it to myself? I've begun working through various self-help books on disordered eating. One amusingly but perhaps accurately pointed out that a binge is an adult form of a temper tantrum. I'm scared, angry, not getting my own way. I'm too old to throw myself on the floor kicking and screaming, so what can I do? I'll stuff myself with the kind of food that sooths the child in me - Candy! Ice Cream! Junk Food! until I stuff down the fear, anger or disappointment. Interesting idea. I've gone back to Weight Watchers and am embracing a more vegan diet. Not a bad idea as a cancer survivor with a family history of heart disease. I'm finding that by focusing on whole grains, limiting processed food and added sugar plus nixing coffee after 3pm, I'm not feeling bloated and sluggish. With meals in the 300-400 calorie range, I'm able to go about four hours without needing to snack. If I do need a little something, I've got string cheese, carrots, celery, fruit on hand. I don't feel guilty when I eat and I'm not skipping meals so that I get to the point that I'm ravenous and looking for candy and fast food. Am I a saint? No. Will I slip? Of course. But when I lay the cards out on the table, I realize it's up to me to save my health. So far, I've lost seven of the gained pounds. I'm taking it one day at a time.

For folks visiting NYC, we prefer you take in skating at the Roc or an off off Broadway show. A 15 hour visit to the ER is not on the Big Apple tour! Hope I gave you a laugh... For more details on my adventure, you'd have to scroll back through my blog. It's been an interesting three, almost four years with an 11cc band that ultimately was never filled. When I went in for my first pre-band removal confab with the surgeon back in July he told me he's, "Taking out more than he's putting in...". Apparently this little detail has been out there for some time, just wasn't highlighted in all the 'Get The Band' hype. Mine never slipped. When I got to see the films before and after they took it out, it was ugly. The band was entirely encapsuled in scar tissue. I was vomiting so much that the irritation triggered more scar tissue growth as my body was trying to wall off the foreign object. According to the surgeon, a couple more months and nothing would've gone down. I can only imagine it would've come to a head sooner if I'd actually had fill in the band. Suggestions...hmm. Well, clearly you've reached a good weight and learned to eat in such a way as to accomplish that, so I'm going to assume, not having a sleeve myself, that your new smaller stomach will accomplish the same thing as the band, without the negative side effects and extreme restrictions on what you can eat. I can say that this past month has been great. Not having my hair falling out, my nails breaking, bruises all over and sores in my mouth due to poor diet and the inability to take supplements has made me feel more like myself than I have in a long time. As for tomorrow - remember you can also have clear liquids, popsicles, italian ice, plus a full liquid shakes made with protein powder, yogurt, pureed fruit can be frozen and eaten like ice cream. Technically, an ice cream milkshake would also be a "full liquid" and if that's all you're eating you could afford those calories. I've had more than my share of surgeries. I find that especially the day before surgery I'm so busy getting everything squared away that I'm generally too busy to concentrate on eating. Depending on your pre-op prep, you maybe able to do clear liquids all day and then nothing to eat or drink after midnight. I can guarentee you won't be hungry after surgery for at least a day or two. Don't freak if you gain weight - it's a product of the drugs you'll be given before, during and after surgery and those dandy painkillers which tend to be constipating. As far as the "elective" surgery goes...I'd push back on your insurance carrier. I live in New York and there's only one plan in this state that allows you only one shot at WLS - MVP. I guess if you have the band and it fails you, that's it - no revision period. All the rest, including my carrier BCBS, approve revision or conversion especially when it's documented the patient made progress &/or the prior surgery or device failed. I actual was aiming to do the removal/revision and BCBS approved it, but the WLS practice was insisting I go through all the pre-approval crap I did for the band again...sleep lab, psych, nutrition, labs, more tests repeating tests done just prior to this surgery. Want to guess why? $$$ What was really incredible was that they were going to rush all of these "necessary" pre-op clearances through in the two weeks prior to surgery. That's when my red flag went up and I wondered just how concerned they were about me as a patient. Turns out they wouldn't have been able to do the revision at the same time due to the inflamation and scarring. When I asked my surgeon's PA if I'd done all the additional pre-op clearances and then the surgeon had found out when he went in that it was a no-go, would they just hold those clearances until it was safe to proceed? Here's a laugh..."only for six months". Then I'd have to do it all again. Apparently this has something to do with them knowing what the different insurance carriers will pay. One of my support group friends - had our surgeries at the same facility - had a similar experience, but her insurance would not pay to duplicate all the pre-op clearances. Bet you're guessing she didn't get her revision. Nope - she got her band removed, and her sleeve at the same surgery with no hoops to jump through! When the practice figured out they weren't going to get paid for all clearance nonsense, the fact they'd make more money on a removal/revision than a straight removal, meant that magically,they were willing to move forward. My point - push for answers from your carrier and definitely read your health plan details or ask your benefits department for help - you never know. Sounds trite, but you'll be in my prayers Thursday. All will go well, and you'll be fine. I look forward to hearing about your experience - maybe it'll convince me to go through the hoops again!

It's been so refreshing not to be bent over the toilet at least once a day - and it's freed me from way too much tooth brushing and having to carry eye drops with me at all times! First couple of weeks weren't that rough. Wasn't very hungry and often it seemed like I was a computer with a glitch. I'd have what felt like the start of a hunger pang, but instead, I'd have a wave of nausea. It took awhile for me to return to being "regular", which I wasn't from about the time I started having problems. Surgery and painkillers can really add to the problem, so finally being back on schedule is great. Nothing worse than heading out to the office feeling like you're carrying a bowling ball in your...ahem... Hadn't eaten meat/poultry/fish in so long that I have yet to crave it. I made a beautiful standing rib roast for our New Year's Day party. Once was one of my most favorite meals. Smelled great but I ended up only eating about a one inch square piece and just found it to be okay. Same deal with bread and pasta - the only exception being my mother-in-law's homemade rolls which were so fabulous I had four! Made baked swai(fish) last night for dinner and just smelling it as I was plating for me and the hubs made me nauseous. Maybe in time. Pills are still a bit tricky and I'm not sure if it's psychosomatic or physical, but with enough water, it's doable. So what am I eating? Never been a breakfast person, so I go the route of a late breakfast or early lunch - brunch! I've been combining Weight Watchers with a great cookbook I found, Hungry Girl's 300 Under 300 by Lisa Lillian. Today I had a Very Veggie Egg Mug with spinach, mushrooms, onion, tomatoes, light Laughing Cow cheese and egg substitute(188 calories), a glass of OJ and coffee. I'm not hungry and I feel good. Will likely have some coffee, string cheese and fruit as an afternoon snack, a Lean Cusine and salad for dinner(hubs out-of-town = Jill off kitchen detail), some yogurt or maybe a half cup of ice cream for dessert. Yes, I've had some - okay - ALL of the forbidden foods since having the band removed and the truth is that as good as they taste, eating that way tends to make me feel sluggish and sets up a chain reaction of me needing a nap, then staying up too late and not getting enough sleep, then eating a fast-fix i.e., carbs or junk food to power up, which then leads to a post-sugar crash and then we're back to square one. Not exactly sure what has changed in me. I was always a stress eater and not having that as an escape during the past couple of years may have broken the habit. It may also have been just how negative the whole experience was for me(no knock against anyone else's choices or success) and realizing how long I've let my weight dictate my life, that is forcing me to, for lack of a better word, parent myself into better eating. 90% sure I do not want another WLS and it's likely that if I continue to lose, I wouldn't qualify. Sure don't want to go through what I did the last time when I was encourage to "gain a few" to make sure to "seal the deal" for insurance coverage. The big question - Have I gained? No - actually I've lost five pounds since the surgery and finally broke the two year plateau! 70 pounds lost. 30 with the band. Only 68 to go!

Thanks Guys for the Good Thoughts!

Monday, as I sat in pre-op waiting for the surgeon, I see a sign which states this particular facility has a goal of providing, "Very good care" - not "Outstanding", not "Excellent", just very good. I don't know that I would even state that their care is "very good". As usual, everyone on the medical team was running late. Unlike other facilities, their pre-op has no privacy so I got a good dose of people watching. Let's bring six or seven people with us, all talking loudly, with kids running every where poking their heads into other patient's waiting areas. Here's a hint to the extended family of the 300 lb + guy being prepped for gastric bypass...trotting in with a large box of doughnuts and an obese toddler in cordoroy pants so tight you could hear them rubbing together, does not signal future success for the patient! After several attempts to get the i.v. line in, finally and painfully it's jammed in my hand. In comes my surgeon who I haven't seen since the last surgery in July. He calls me by another patient's name and asks if I followed all the prep instructions for my bypass surgery!? I laugh it off and remind him of who I am and what we're doing - "...Oh yeah - my mistake - just have so many of you all today...". Surgery went well, but as to be expected, as this is the second time opening the same incisions in under six months, the swelling, bruising and pain is much more severe than last time. As I'm getting dressed to go home I see bright red blood all over my clothes - yes, I'm bleeding from all six steri-stripped incisions. As they bandage me up they're telling me that this is "normal". Thankfully the discharge instructions were a bit more complete than last time, unfortunately though, the script for the pain meds was written incorrectly. The error was caught when my husband dropped the scripts off at the pharmacy, but since the pharmacy was unable to reach the surgeon or his PA until the next day, I got to go almost 24 hours with nothing but OTC ibuprophan and ice packs. It's been four days since surgery and no one from the practice has called to follow up or see how I'm doing. I did get an email telling me my follow up appointment has been moved to Christmas Eve - fabulous! Par for the course, I'm not hungry and have pretty much just had coffee, water, broth and a few crackers and yet have managed to gain four pounds! Way to go Jill - in no time I'll be back to where I was before - the biggest gal in the room who eats less than everyone else!

I had all the same problems over a two year period with a 14cc band with no fill. I had semi-exploratory surgery six months ago with my surgeon being of the opinion that the band needed to come out. He told me at that time that he was taking out more bands than he was putting in. I begged him to do all he could to save it. He fixed a significant hiatal hernia and left it in. A month later the problems came back with a vengence. My band was removed on Monday. I won't know until my follow up how significant the scarring is/was, but the surgeon told my husband he's got a lot of images to show me. I am curious to see the cause of all my misery. I'm not sure that I will under go another procedure despite my surgeon's snappy PA advising me that all the band removal patients she sees, "just pack it on"! Methinks she's packing it on i.e., the BS, since getting me to come back in means more money for the practice!

...With the Band! If I had to write a letter to my soon to be "ex" I'd have to say,"Baby, it's been a long and expensive three years and while the 34 pounds I lost since the day we got together is progress to a better, healthier me, the price has been a bit steep. Each of those pounds cost about $2200 - thank God for insurance or you'd have bankrupted me! The vomiting, the socially inappropriate talking stomach yelling, "Nnnow...ow.ow..." in meetings, the hair loss and breaking nails, the three bites and bolt for the bathroom aerobics, making sure not to bend over least lunch leap out of my mouth, the double band aka my bra, the conveniently locate port-o-pain just so situated so as to be like the toe you just keep stubbing...on the door to the dryer, the edge of the cart at the grocery store and don't even mention how it appears to be a magnet for the small child or pet climbing into your lap. Ah yes - thanks for the memories, but I've got to end this relationship as it's cramping what little style I have left! Lunch interview for a job - forget it! Ditto for lunch with the girls or a family dinner. What with everyone watching to see if my trip to the bathroon is to pee or to puke?! It's become the only thing some family members talk about. How can Jill still be so big - she doesn't eat anything! I will give you this - you have definitely changed my relationship with food. Having puked up so many different foods, there are things that just the smell of now makes me nauseous. Last night's two bites of tuna noodle casserole crossed another off the lengthy list. Sure - I'm afraid I'm going to pack it all back on, but perhaps the memory of this bad relationship will help keep me focused. I got the big song & dance from your pal, the weight loss surgeon, who told me how great you were and all you could do for me. Now even he's telling me you're bad news. Of course that's not stopping him from trying to hook me up with either of his other friends - Mr. Roux-N-Y or Mr. G. Sleeve. For now though, I think I'm going to hanging with a plain jane kind of pal - Ms. W. Watchers and see how things go!

That's the only word I could come up with describe what I felt when I saw the photo my husband took of me at a charity event the other night. Here I am, sixty pounds smaller than I was at my highest weight. I straighted my naturally curly, unruly hair and was wearing an outfit I thought looked nice and certainly fit a lot looser than the last time I wore it. Since I was the chairman of this event, I really made an effort to look good. OMG! I looked enormous - I'm only a 38B but I looked like a line backer with a giant jelly roll. Can your head also get fat? I know your face can, but damn if I didn't look like my head was a large melon wearing a flat blonde wig. All the hassles and hurling of the past three years you'd think I'd at least have looked better than I did 60 pounds ago, but no - I look exactly the same! In for my pre-admission testing on Friday and the nurse said to me, "So the band didn't work for you?" . I've gotten so tired of explaining what I've gone through I just let her roll on with a lecture of how people really need to deal with the root cause of their eating issues. Yeah - tell me about it Twiggy! Laughably, now that I'm really eating next to nothing - let's put it this way, even yogurt can be tough to get down - you'd think the pounds would just be falling off especially after a day of creating my extensive outdoor Christmas light display and hauling boxes up from the basement and down from the attic. Nope - no change. I'll be interested to see if when(if?) I can eat more normally, whether I'm going to balloon up or whether having had such a negative relationship with food for so long, if I'll lose or just hang out at this same weight forever. One thing for sure - No more photos!!

Not going to downplay your experience - that's just awful and you're so young - but... *I have several friends who've had similiar experiences(not as early on as you) - it's not as uncommon as you might think. *My surgeon - who'll be removing mine after three miserable years - has told me numerous times that he's taking out more bands than he's putting in! If that's the case, why even put them in? *Your complications were so serious, it's a blessing it was caught as quickly as possible. Give it time to heal before jumping on to a different procedure. Do some research, get a second opinion and call your insurance company claims department directly. Take notes and get a confirmation number or email especially if you get the okay to move on to a sleeve or RNY. Hope you're feeling better and thinking positive thoughts! You are not alone!

Had my band placed in 2010 and started having problems in July of 2012. Blamed myself, but finally went to my WLS. Multiple tests etc., Went in for repair with possible removal in July 2012. Large hiatel hernia repaired and band left in, though multiple adhesions noted. I was warned that this might not resolve the problem. I had one good month and then the problems were back even with no fill. So now I can't eat before noon at the earliest and usually have my one quasi-meal around midnite. Acid refluxing, getting blocked on a single bite of (fill in the blank) - I've had it. Mine band is bye-bye next month! (Need a laugh - read my blog - Ravenclaw779)

Back to the WLS for the next installment of Jill's endless problems with the band. My appointment was scheduled for 1:00pm and it's about an hour drive. As usual, but for coffee, there isn't any thing I'm going to get down before 10:00am at the earliest. So I planned to just skip eating as it takes me 40+ minutes to work down a Yoplait and some oatmeal. Around 11:00am my husband asked me if I'd make him a sandwich. While making said sandwich I ate one single slice of deli ham and was immediately blocked. Didn't feel like I was going to throw up, it was just 'there'...until I got in the car. About half way to the doctor's office I started sliming and feeling like maybe I should pull over but I made it, checked in, went to the restroom and got sick. All it produced was a tiny piece of ham. Still felt blocked an hour later leaving the doctor's office and ended up throwing up over and over in my car on I-87. Thank God I have a plastic waste basket in my car. Now that's ironic considering I'd made it for a whole week without an episode and once again convinced myself it must just be in my head! What did the WLS have to say? It's gotta come out. While it's comforting to know the band failed me and not the other way around, having my WLS announce that I need to start planning my revision surgery pronto because he "knows" most patients who have their band removed, "blow up" just adds to the anxiety. So much for the band allowing me to finally stop focusing on food, my weight etc. Let's stir in the fact that I've got to try to find the time before the end of the year it get this done for fear that with the onslaught of Obama-Care I won't have coverage. It funny how I didn't really notice what poor nutrition does as prior to the attempted repair surgery the problems had slowly built up. I'm a pretty busy person and had just chalked up being tired to my schedule, menopause etc. In the month where I was able to eat more normally and a wider range of foods, I had more energy, got more done and didn't need to nap everyday just to get up the energy to finish chores. Not to sound vain, but I had people telling me how well I looked - which I found to be odd - just how bad was I looking!?! My hair was glossy again and my nails grew. Since the return of the problems my hairbrush looks like a small kitten and my nails are breaking and splitting and once again I'm hearing, "You look tired". And so I am - nap time for Jill!

Thanks ladies! Holly Clare - just remember that everyone's story is different. Just like everyone's body is different. Take any story - good or bad - and compare it to your knowledge of your body and situation. It's educational, but only to a point. These support sites provide valuable feedback that will help you know what to expect, what's normal and when to be concerned.

Try to answer everyone at once: dylanmiles 23 - late October was the soonest they could get me in. Mis 73 - I have NO fill! cheryl 2586 - isn't it weird...I can do oatmeal with no problem and it's mushy. LovetheNewMe - Won't bore you with details; my whole story is in my blog. I have no fill and have been told by my doc I should be able to eat everything, just smaller portions. I too am three years out; and find that regardless of cooking technique I can't do meat or chicken. Hands down the weirdest thing I can eat that actually has some texture and good mouth feel - SeaPak Shrimp Spring Rolls - go figure!

Attended a luncheon award ceremony for a co-worker yesterday. Whole group of us got together to go. Most know I had lap band surgery and know about the problems I've had plus the corrective surgery. Since the problems have come back, I've been reluctant to say anything as even to my own ears it sounds stupid to have undergone another expensive surgery to end up right where I was before. To be safe I ordered the vegetarian option as that's generally safe and soft. Thought I'd be okay with a couple of small bites of salad. One grape tomato and a piece of curly endive the size of my thumb nail and I was off to the bathroom hoping to find it empty. Got the problem resolved and had a cup of coffee - sometimes the heat helps especially when I'm wearing a bra. Managed half of my veggie lasagna(blando) and dessert(nice, soft mousse) and got to appear normal. Keep trying to convince myself that I'm fine and that the surgery had to have fixed the problem. It must all be in my head and if I just don't think about it everything will normalize. Been up since 8am - working from home today. Finally decided to eat. Bowl of raisen bran with skim milk. Three bites and blocked. Man do I feel dumb.

Had about a month with no issues, then one dinner at friend's with a semi-dry roast, and it's been downhill ever since. Basically back to where I was before the latest surgery.

Congrats on having your band out. Kicking myself that I didn't do the same. Question for NaNa - what's an AP band?

When the swelling finally went down - about the third week in July - I was finally able to eat normally. Didn't go crazy, but was able to eat all those things that had become impossible due to "Jill's Rules"(see prior blog entries for details). I ate salad, had a steak, had pizza- had everything I wasn't able to eat for over a year. Actually got to go out to lunch with my girlfriends! Continued tracking my WW points and was feeling great...until the end of August. Invited to dinner at a friend's house - yet another experience I'd largely had to either pass on or do my fake-out food shuffle around the plate routine. The roast was a bit tough, but with no fill, drinking with meal, I was able to get it down. That was until the drive home, where I started gagging, sliming and couldn't get to the bathroom fast enough for a prolonged period of vomiting. It's been down hill since then. Pretty much any solid food creates the pain across the lower jaw and shoulders. Every episode results in an upper abdomen swelling that looks like I'm pregnant. Back to not being able to eat while wearing a bra. Back to the protein shakes, yogurt, cottage cheese...zzzz. Maybe if they made savory yogurts instead of just sweets - LOL Next appointment isn't until October ("soonest available") - not that there's anything that can be done. There's no fill in the band. Dreading what I know my WLS is going to want to do...more pricey tests and re-tests that I can't afford. I was warned that this might not resolve the problem and that in the future I'd likely need to have it removed. Just don't know if my insurance would cover it or if I could even swing another $500 co-pay, time off from work, surgery/recovery. Guess I'm just happy to have the memory of that one month.

Last night as we sat down to dinner - me with my half cup of mashed potatoes and fat free refried beans and my husband enjoying the salad, grilled squash, baked potato and burgers made, of course, by me, I proceeded to have a pity party. I mentioned to my husband how crazy it is that three years and roughly $50,000 later( Thank God for insurance!) and I'm only 33 pounds lighter than I was on the day of my surgery. On I ranted about the past year of puking, eating less than 1,000 calories a day, of tracking my WW points and almost never eating my daily allowance... His response - "You need to exercise more!" Yes - that's the magic bullet...except that in six months of working out at the "Y" with 30-45 minutes of cardio I lost nothing despite restricting my intake. I haven't been working out much as the problems increased - frankly, on the little I was getting down, I needed a nap just to power through my day. Since I wasn't busting it at the gym, you'd think I'd be packing it on, but no, neither gained nor lost. Don't ya love it when someone who never had a weight problem and can eat whatever lectures you on what you should do? Like the waif nutritionist teaching a recent cancer survivors class I took....all of 23 and just out of school, she advised us all to, "Eat more fiber!", "Exercise More!" What set this off? I know I weigh less - my clothes tell me that, but catching a glimpse of myself in a full length mirror and I'm the same tug boat I was at 283 - same puffy toad belly, same cankles. Seems that 65 pound lost should look like something! Looking for the positive - I have less food related guilt. I no longer eat pizza. I don't buy snacks, candy, ice cream. I don't indulge in "binge" behaviors any more, so I don't have the weight of being "bad" on my shoulders. Unfortunately, I think I'm going to have to accept that I did this to myself and will wear this fat mantle until the day I die. Couple this with my mastectomy scarred chest and it's a wonder I ever leave the house!

I don't miss bread, but I miss salads and veggies that aren't mush. Haven't been able to eat meat, poultry or seafood in over a year due to problems. Finding it almost impossible to go out to eat or even attend a fundraiser i.e., the tradtional roast beef, steamed green beans, baby potatoes and rolls leaves me cutting the food up and moving it around my plate. Chicken BBQ - unless I just eat the mac salad, the rest gets shuttled over to my husband's plate. LOL stuck in traffic around 5pm the other day - a young couple in a car next to me was chowing down on this gorgeous thin-thin veggie pizza - if their windows had been open, I'd have grabbed a slice! Wonder if they thought my longing gaze and drooling was weird!?

I'd tell myself to make absolutely sure this is the right path for you. Chart the pros and cons. Practice small quality eating, chew-chew-chewing and start tracking your protein intake so that after surgery you've got a rough idea of what you need to consume to get enough in. Despite the fact that banding can be reversed, it's very likely that if you have to have your band removed down the road, you won't be the same. There may be foods you'll never be able to eat again either physically or due to a psychological componented tied to a bad experience with that food. Be realistic with yourself about the side effects which can be painful, time consuming and pricey. Between my initial surgery, barium swallows, endoscopy, hernia repair etc., it's well over $50,000 in three years. There's no telling what the Affordable Care Act will do or cover when it comes to WLS and follow up.

What happened to me could happen to anyone - true, but you're only six weeks out, so keep the faith. You'll do just fine. Jill