RavenClaw779

It'll be a year for me in March - I have 4.2cc in an 11cc band - twice I've had to have Fluid taken out and now have to have an upper GI series. I lost about 30 pre-surgery...and 14 since. I'm going say DITTO...I also could eat enough to feed three men, experience the uncomfortable pouch and the growling stomach, the trying to psych myself in to believing I'm not hungry. Now my surgeon's practice is telling me that the new thinking is that you should only have 2 or 3 fills in the first year...ugh! Elfie, I've been reading your posts since I started down this road - if anyone has worked their band, seems it would be you. God bless and let us know how your progress. It's a small comfort to know I'm not the only one who feels like a failure.

Unfortunately, I've returned to having discomfort after several bites of greek yogurt so my PA took 1cc out of the band - and ahh...no more pain. My labs and counts were all good, but my A1C is still a little over 7%, so I remain on my meds. Because of the issues I've been having, I have to have an upper GI series... At this point all I can say is at least I'm not gaining!

Checked with my doc - I take mine with a sip of water when I get up in the morning...then I have my coffee(black). I don't usually eat my first meal of the day for an hour to an hour and a half after I get up. The rule per my doc is no food or calcium supplements for 30-45 minutes after taking my thyroid meds -food that contain calcium; milk, cheese is okay after the 30-45 minute window.

I've been supplementing for years. I take Your Life Multi Women's 45+ (1/2 tab AM/PM). I also use Mega Red, Mega D, fish oil, Citrical Petites and a few others - no problem getting any of them down. Another good choice - One A Day VitaCraves - chewable gummies.

LapBand + bad cold = weight loss! Just kidding - but it's too bad no one ever came up with a non-surgical solution to over eating. Still hate shopping, but made myself go. Found a pair of great chocolate tweed lined slacks - size 18. Figured they wouldn't fit but they did. Needless to say I did a lot more shopping. Am now a L/XL(misses) on top and 18/20- maybe 1X on the bottom. Finally got rid of the sweatpants my husband said made me look like I was channelling MC Hammer. Another big step for me - actually wearing colors other than BLACK! Visiting with my RD the other day. She attended a conference where I group of bariatric docs were talking about the "disappointing" success rate with WLS and how gastric banding can serve as "training wheels" for the new gastric sleeve procedure. Very expensive set of training wheels!

A friend of the family was visiting last weekend. She hadn't seen me since July and commented that she could tell I've lost weight. Glad someone could - the scale doesn't seem to be moving at all. Maybe she was just being nice? Nevertheless, I am noticing clothes that I've been wearing all along are starting to become noticibly loose; my favorite career pants are suddenly too long and catching on my heels, my favorite casual henley with the pearl trim- falling of my shoulder. Wondered why people were looking at me funny at the grocery store...then I glanced down and HELLO PLAYTEX! Maybe I should be glad my journey is taking longer - the family friend I wrote about in a prior blog entry was photographed at a recent wedding. Looked like they were either sick or going through chemo. Gaunt and jaundice in appeareance and according to someone who was at the event, running to the bathroom what seemed like every 15 minutes, not eating, but quaffing the booze like no tomorrow. Apparently extremely happy to tell everyone how people keep saying, "You're getting too thin!" and "You look anorexic!" Ended up in the hospital again - this time for dehydration. My family keeps asking me if this is normal - based on what I've experience and what I read online about everyone else - NO!

...and it's not that I don't want to know. My bariatric practice has told me they put X in, but on the next visit they tell me I have Y in...and I can do math; it doesn't add up. When I try to pin them down, I can't get a straight answer. My last visit resulted in the need for a slight unfill. When I asked the PA, "How much was in the band?" I got a vague, "A little over 5cc's.." and she dodged the question of how much she took out. Am I nuts to think that it's important to know in the event if an emergency? It's not like I can just pop over to my WLS on a whim, nor is he going to make a special trip over an hour and a half if I'm in my local ER and need the Fluid taken out. Curious too - just saw the bill to my insurance carrier for my last fill - uncomplicated, quick visit - billed as "surgery" for $485! Feedback Please!

Thanks everyone for the perspective. Just got off the phone with BCBS(MA) - the claims adjustor told me that they will only pay "Reasonable & Customary" which by their standards for this procedure is around $57.00. The CA told me that often the surgeon's office bumps the bill up because they know the R & C and the difference is used as a tax write-off. They do define "surgery" as "anything invasive" so a needle insertion would qualify. Bet ya someone paying out-of-pocket for their procedure would not be handed a $485 bill for each fill - who could afford it!

In the immortal words of Gomer Pyle, "Shazam!" Made you laugh didn't I!:tt2: So Fill #5 - I had been scheduling my appts for Friday afternoons think that especially in the summer, things are a little less busy and surely I'll be back before 3pm...but for the last four visits, my surgeon's practice is always running late and I never make it back to the office at a decent time, or have waited so long to eat that I end up with a migraine... SO...this time I took Monday off and scheduled a mid-morning appt. What a refreshing surprise..no crowds, no stressed out nurse or PA - I was in and out in 20 minutes. The "fill" ended up being an Unfill - saw a different PA this time and she actually listened to what I was telling her...how my incidents of vomiting have increased including throwing up sipped liquid...how I'm not losing but feel like all I can eat is safe(very crunchy or soft and melting) and dangerous(calorie-wise)...how I am always hungry and my stomach is growling so loudly it's embarassing...how at a family dinner the other night I had three pinky tip bites of med-rare filet mignon, two small slices of baked zucchini and a teaspoon of corn and felt uncomfortable with pain in my throat and upper chest. An awful feeling coupled with the fact that my lower stomach was telling me, "Eat - I'm hungry!" while my brain was saying, "God - please don't let me spit up at the table!" Half an hour later, I was able to eat...dessert - which was a texture I could manage, but not an appropriate energy source on it's own. I guess I should've realized something was off when the night before my fill, I was getting ready for bed, took my Crestor(very small pill) with a couple sips of water on an empty stomach, went to brush my teeth, felt nauseous and tossed my cookies - except there were no "cookies" - it was all water. My hide is still chapped with regard to my surgeon's practice...the PA would not tell me how much was in my band, "A little over 5cc's..." or how much she took out. I live over an hour from my bariatric center. In an emergency I'm going to my local hospital which is less than five minutes from my house. I also travel quite a bit on business. I'd think that in an emergency I should be able to tell the responding docs what I've got in my body in case they need to take it out. If they'd tell me what's in the band, I'd even put it on a sticky flag with the band card in my wallet in case I was incapacitated. Just seems like common sense to me. Couple that with the $485 the practice just billed my insurance carrier for my last fill...billed as "surgery" ?! and I am moving forward with looking for another bariatric practice for my follow up care. Why the Unfill? Well, I guess even with as little as I had in my 11cc band, it was too much and the vomiting, the pain after a few bites, the slight cough should've been a tip off. That afternoon after my unfill, I felt the best I had since Fill #4 - other than the extreme belching and burping. I'm eating what I should, feeling a bit more in control(thanks in part to my self-directed therapy), and haven't felt sick and fatigued! :thumbup: I have to go back in two weeks...

When I'd finally reached the end of my rope with my weight last fall and began the process of considering and applying for WLS one of the things my surgical practice required was an "essay" on why I wanted WLS. I posted that essay at the beginning of my blog. One thing I commented about myself somewhat laughingly was that I am a "bulimic who doesn't vomit", thinking that I was a rare bird or that I didn't really have a problem. Recently, my NUT recommended, OVERCOMING Binge Eating by Dr. Christopher Fairburn. What an eye-opener! I'm not uncommon and I'm not alone. Sadly, I never felt comfortable telling my doctors about my secret problem. I'm a classic Type-A; organized, perfectionist, Miss-do-it-all, not willing to admit weakness. In fact these are traits often possessed by a bulimic/binge eater. Handling stress, disappointments and sadness but stuffing it down - metaphorically and physically. I now know that if I'd had the courage to reveal my weakness, maybe I could've gotten help before I got to the point of considering WLS. I find it some what distressing, that no doctor - including my surgeon, and their affliated dietitian, and psychologist - ever picked up on it - even when it was there in writing and there was no evidence that anyone had ever addressed this problem with me. So here I am - most of the weight I've lost since banding in March has been pre-surgical. I'm not gaining - I'm stuck at 238. I'm still binging but for the obvious reason, I can't consume as much. I'm still not getting straight answers from my surgical practice and no one there has bothered to bring up the obvious - Jill...why aren't you losing weight? So I'm starting to work through this problem on my own - the above book has a Part II; a self-help workbook - and still looking for the right therapist. There is no way that anyone who says WLS was the easy way out has a clue as to what I'm (and I'm sure a number of fellow bandsters) are dealing with - it's not just the surgery, it's everything else that's coming out as a result. Pray for me as I will for you.

Considering moving my aftercare to another bariatric practice - if they'll have me. Could use some feedback - as in am I crazy to consider doing this? Here's the deal: I had gastric banding in early March and lost 27lbs in prep for the procedure. In the two weeks following the surgery I lost 12lbs. Since then, I've had four fills giving me 4.8cc in an 11cc band. My weight has not changed give or take 2lbs - so I'm 238-240 - regardless of activity level and apparently, what I consume. I'm hungry within 2 hours of eating and can eat pretty much anything, but since my surgeon's practice states "No in-between meal snacks" I really try to hold the line which means there are quite a few meetings in which my loud, literally howling stomach is the source of discomfort for me and an amusing distraction for others. Couple this with the fact that I'm a Type II Diabetic who controls her blood glucose with a small amount of medication, diet and exercise. By the time I do breakdown and eat the forbidden "snack" rather than waiting for the next meal, I'm often sweating, hands shaking due to my blood sugar having dropped too low. Thus there's a chance I'll eat too quickly - we know what happens then or I eat the wrong, but safe items like ice cream or candy that melts quickly, and raises my glucose so I feel normal. Beyond the obvious problem of not making progress with my band is that I'm not getting through to my Bariatric Practice. 1) I haven't seen my surgeon since the operation - he doesn't "have time" as he's busy with new patients. 2) I see a PA for my fills. She's almost always overbooked and frazzled. When she complimented me on losing 25 lbs between fill #1 & #2 without even looking at me and I said, "Excuse me? I haven't but a pound or two!" She had to check the chart - "Oops! My bad - I read it wrong!" 3) I keep telling her (see above) and the reaction is basically, "Uh-huh...well, let's get this fill in". After fill #3 she told me I had 5.5cc in the band; last week she advises me it's only at 4.8cc?! 4) No labs have been ordered, the saline hasn't been removed to check the band is holding what it should, no fluoroscopy - and no concern that I'm getting nowhere - just "see you in four weeks!" Last week's trip in for my big 0.6cc fill was the same experience as fills 1-3. I arrive on time and wait for over an hour and a half - and it's an hour drive each way, so I've had to take at least a half-day off from work. While I wait in the over-crowded waiting room, wishing I'd brought something, anything to eat, I watch the single PA juggle fills and consults for pre-surgical patients, have a melt-down because the surgeon has asked her to squeeze in another post-op having problems. Meanwhile the bariatric nurse is ranting at another pre-op patient about his "failure to lose weight" on Medifast, when in trots a pizza delivery guy with two large pies for the staff...right through the waiting room of starving bariatric patients. When it's all said and done, I leave with a raging headache, a long drive and the need to find a convience store for OJ - not a "clear liquid" but better than having a hypoglycemic incident on that hour drive home. Thoughts? Comments?

Dawn - I don't know that the service standards vary by practice based on whether you self-pay or not. My post op was three weeks out and with a nurse, not the surgeon. They did a portable X-ray when I was in recovery - I just barely remember that. I did get an Rx for liquid pain med(awful tasting) but by day 3 I no longer needed any pain meds inc. Tylenol. Don't let my experience sour you; give it time before worrying. Fran & Mimi - Ladies you're both spot on! One thing I do think my practice and many others do consider is what insurance carrier you have. I'm w/BCBS and everything from the approval process to all claim payments was smooth. I've met my deductible, and my out-of-pocket and coinsurance so what they'll get paid for their $150 fill is what ever BCBS negotiated rate is. They won't be able to bill me for anything...but if they drag the fills out as long as possible, so that I have to keep coming in repeatedly and into 2011, they be able to bill me up to $400 for more fills to inch me toward the "green zone". I am rather surprised that no one in the practice has grasped the fact that my scale isn't moving - or maybe they have, so they can D-R-A-G out the fills a wee bit at a time. I did speak with another local practice today. They said I need to fax them all my paperwork and they'd review it and consider accepting me. Wonder if they'd like my SAT scores too? College transcripts? Resume? Credit Report? Finger Prints:w00t:!

"Talk to my doc" - Good luck with that! Haven't seen him since the procedure - not even for a post-op. It's all PA's and NP's now. Oh - the first three fills are "free". It's reportedly $150 for each add'l. Like everything else you can't get a straight answer. Of course, I've reached my annual deductible so I owe zip for any medical procedure from now until 1/1/11. What's odd is I haven't seen a single EOB for my fills - you know they've got to be billing someone for them - unless they're as disorganized on the end as they are with their fill schedule. The focus is total on getting people in the WLS machine and when they're done it's a kind of "here's you hat, what's your hurry?" approach. I also suspect the price varies by your insurance carrier, so if they can't bill me for any add'l and my carrier only pays the contracted amount, I'm sure dragging these fills out until 2011 when they can nail me for my deductible and co-insurance out the ying-yang is all part of the plan. Wait - maybe I'll be so frustrated with my laugh of progress that I'll let them give me gastric by-surgery - CHA-CHING!

Had #4 on Friday and the experience was par for the course. My appointment was @ 9:30am...I was still waiting at 11:30am along with a fairly crowded waiting room. True brilliance on the part of the scheduling department - only one NP on duty. Many interesting conversations in the waiting room and nice to know I'm not the only one who is hungry all the time and wondering when they're going to get "there". Think we were all a bit taken aback when the NP came out to call someone back and was advised in passing that the doctor had slipped an additional patient into the NP's schedule. Her mini-me meltdown of shrieking, "Where does she think I'm going to find room in my schedule - I'm already booked solid?!!?" made me want to re-schedule then and there! My own fill, while unremarkable(quick; not painful; no backwash) was confusing? disappointing? left me in the dark? I thought after the last fill I had 5.5cc in the band. That was based on this same NP telling me she put 1.5cc in at the last fill. I told her I'm hungry an hour after eating and my loud howling stomach during meetings was getting annoying, so she told me I definitely need a fill(ya think?) and advised that she wouldn't be as aggressive as last time...so she put .6cc in and told me I now have 4.8cc in my band. Huh? So instead of the 1.5cc Fill #3 I actually got .2cc and that's aggressive? When questioned I couldn't get a straight answer - of course I can do the math, but I'd like to know accurately how much is in there. Does explain why I've been so hungry and why- BIG SURPRISE - two hours after eating this morning, I'm hungry AGAIN! Next fill is 8/25 - unless I get bold and try to get in in about two weeks....:closedeyes:

I'm approaching my 10th wedding anniversary(we've been together 13 years) and I always knew my husband was self-centered but it's really been hitting home over the past year or so. Many days it feels like I'm caring for a disabled adult - No, my husband is mentally and physically fine but appears to have shed all responsibilities save for those he's interested in, on the day he said, "I Do". I'm sure this will sound familiar but it feels so good to put it out there. In addition my job which many times exceeds 50+ hours a week, I handle ALL: housework(and my house is immaculate and organized), all grocery shopping, meal planning, pet/vet care, family events, laundry, errands and charitable efforts on behalf of the two of us. My husband also works but wraps it up a 5pm so he can either ride his bike, swim or sit on the back porch reading SI. He does home improvement projects and he is good, but he also has the luxury of spending the entire day driving 20 minutes up and back to Lowe's to get the "right" (fill in the blank) for his project...whoops - not the right X and back he goes. Meanwhile I'm multi-tasking and will be lucky to get a shower before noon. He also starts one project without finishing another - at this point instead of 2.5 bathrooms, we have 3 half-baths! He's mother and sister think he's a saint and believe that he's not quiet and self-absorbed, but that he, "holds his feelings in..":lol: Yeh - right. He relys on me to remind and remind and remind him of everything and is largely disinterested in anything going on in the family. It's my mother's birthday? Our nephew graduated college? The dog has a tumor? You get the picture. Classic - Yesterday we had some business to attend to near my surgeon's office and I was getting a fill, so he came with me. It's about an hour from home and despite having a set appointment, there's always an hour plus wait. I suggested I check in at the doctors, see what the backlog looked like and then we could grab a bite before my fill since afterward, as we all know - no solids for a couple of days. My rocket scientist tells me he doesn't think it's a good idea for me to eat before my fill but I explained that it's perfectly fine and probably will keep me from being ravenous later that night. Well, he drags his heels and we get down there late. Oh, the doctor's running an hour plus behind but when I go out to advise my husband(waiting in the car) he tells me I forgot to remind him that he has a teleconference in 15 minutes. So I go sit in the waiting room and finally get my fill and hour and a half later. I was STARVING. Meanwhile he's wrapped up his teleconference and is on his laptop when I come out. He announces that he's HUNGRY and next thing I know we're a some pizza place. I grab a SoBe Water from the cooler and excuse myself to use the ladies room. When I get back he's(so thoughtfully:sneaky:) ordered me a slice of plain cheese and his usual. As he chows down I sip my SoBe and I don't say anything, though I want to down that pizza. So he asks me why I'm not eating and I have to go through it once again - after all, this is only my FOURTH fill - what I can have post fill; ...24 hours Clear liquids, then full, then puree... and he tells me, " Well, I didn't know..." and shoves the pizza in his mouth. Wow - he's just so supportive and full of "deep feelings" it's hard to believe I'm thinking about leaving!

Glad I'm not the only one confused. Had surgery on 3/9 and 3 fills to 5.5cc in an 11cc band. I can eat anything and am usually hungry an hour or so after eating. Push past on willpower when I can, but the growling(loud) stomach in meetings is embarassing. Get stuck or uncomfortable on a random basis i.e., one day fish is okay, the next I'm PBing. Only down 14 pounds since surgery. Next fill is 7/30 - guess I'm gone to have to accept that I just maybe a "failure" or will only have limited success with this tool - but I'm so tired of 20+ year of dwelling on my weight that I can't let myself get too down.

I put the "benchmarks" on my calendar i.e., "Can try pasta..", "Can try steak"...so far at four months out, there's not too much I can't eat - including the occasion bagel..but it takes me forever at a pinky tip size bite at a time, so not really worth it. I'm not a big alcohol drinker, but I love the occasional margarita or gin & tonic - so far no problem, but I feel the effect very quickly. Was a diet soda a-day girl and gave that up - Love SoBe water and still have a cup or two of coffee a day. My NUT encourages me to 1) Eat Real Foods(don't rely on protein shakes except past recovery or post-fill), 2) Focus on Protein first, then fruit and veggies, 3) Limit but don't eliminate carbs, 4) Have the occasional treat but watch the portion size - that said, I really have to control myself around ice cream which has always been a favorite and slides down the ol' pie hole real easy! :cool:

Glad I'm not the only one who thought this was absolutely the craziest thing I'd ever heard. It was all I could do not to stare gape-mouthed as this story unfolded!

So...big church BBQ last weekend. Lots of family and friends including one who had the LapBand last fall...and has lost 85+ pounds...SINCE the procedure i.e., not including what this person lost in prep for surgery. There were whispers and it wasn't good as this rapid weight loss coupled with this individual's love of tanning beds has resulted in a look that someone described(unkindly but accurate) as a "...cross between a dried prune and a boneless walnut.."! Couple this with this bandster's free admission(but not to their doctor or surgeon) that they often going on nothing but a cereal bar and some yogurt as a once daily meal...oh, and they've been in the ER twice in the past two months for illnesses directly related to improper nutrition/hydration, and a very different face of this potentially helpful procedure emerges. It also put me in the hot seat as some wanted to question why I haven't lost as much(in 4 months - are you serious?) and why don't I look "sick" like X. If seeing the other side of this journey wasn't enough, I was blown away when my fellow bandster announced that after the last trip to the ER, a call was placed to the bariatric facility. Apparently the bariatric facility didn't feel that the ER doc(at a major medical center doing angioplasty, stroke intervention, chemo using ports...) was "qualified" to remove fluid from the band. So - rather than sending a nurse or PA to the hospital or arranging to meet the patient at their PCP's office, a NP met the patient at a convenience store and withdrew all the fluid in the band in the parking lot...and told the patient they'd lost too much weight!:thumbup:

I've lost almost 50 pounds since beginning the process. My 4th fill is on the 30th - right now I have 5.5cc in an 11cc band and can eat pretty much anything...in moderation. Every once and awhile I'll get stuck - fish seems to really get me. I don't see the scale moving as much as I'd like, but I'm down from a 3x over all to a Med/Large top and and 18-20 bottom. NSV's...I hauled my 5 year-old neice to the car after a day at the beach and her 45 pounds of dead weight brought my success home as did today's trip to the consignment shop to drop off some of my 3x career wear. The woman at the shop asked if I was dropping them off for someone and when I told her, "No - it's all mine" she commented that, "You must've have lost a ton of weight!".

At my highest I was 283 - now I'm 235...almost 50 pounds off. What really brought it home to me was went I took my five-year-old niece to the beach last weekend. Any one who has a small child knows that after a long day of play, with no nap, "cranky" makes PMS look like a walk in the park. So, when my niece whines, "Aunt Jill my legs hurt when I'm walking(chafing in a wet bathing suit)!" I had no choice but to pick her up and carry all 45+/- pound of little girl to the car. That is a lot to lug! That was what I was dragging around with me for the past seven years. No wonder my back no longer aches and my feet don't bother me and I can actually walk from my office to the downtown area for lunch. No - I'm not "thin" - yet - but I'm slowly but surely on my way.:smile2:

Good question. It's different for each person. I have an 11 cc band with 5.5cc filled - even after my last fill I was able to eat whatever I wanted - just not as much. About a week later the restriction kicked in. I know I'm getting close because I can put just the right amount of food on my plate and eat it, be full and even one extra tiny bite sends that "shot across the bow" telling me to watch out. Often I eat only part of my meal, feel full, but know I need to get the protein in, so I'll get up and do something else until I feel like can finish my alotted portion.

So - having more energy can be dangerous! Got it into my head to clear some brush to increase the size of my landscape project. Out I go with my 1" lopers - chop,chop, chop(great stress reliever). I create a giant mound of limbs and brush before going off to help my husband with a building project. At the end of a long day I take a shower, feeling pretty good about my boundless energy. Two days later I'm covered in weeping poison ivy rashes - and I mean covered! That other weight loss positive - looser clothes - meant that as I worked, I was hitching up my pants, tucking my shirt in...so in addition to the sweaty ear I scratched(now big,itchy and red), I have a ring of rash around my waist, one boob with a similiar effect plus my arms and legs which look like I was in a battle for my life against some sort of clawed animal.

My senior year in college I dated a graduate student. It was my first head-over-heels love affair. I was 21; he was 26. Never was the line, "Hindsight is always 20/20!" more true and now more than two decades later I Thank God for the un-answered prayer titled, "Oh please let us get back together...". Right from the start, my friends could not stand Alex. As one pal put it, "His arrogance is only exceeded by his condescension"...or was it the other way around!?! His "friends" had a similar vibe and would ask me what I saw in him. Several weeks into dating me he was let go from his internship at due to a "personality conflict" - of course according to Alex it wasn't his fault; they were against him. I had an uncomfortable feeling then as I would several weeks later when he roughed up a fellow lacrosse player who ribbed him for a missed goal. Alex played into my insecurities with ruthless skill. Based on my old photos, I would've been considered "cute" maybe even "pretty" and I weighed about 125-130. At that time though, I didn't think I was any of those things and agonized over my weight. We'd probably been going out less than a month when Alex dropped me off at my dorm after a date. I still remember stepping out of his car as he made a comment along the lines of,"...if you think you're the most beautiful girl in the world, you're sadly mistaken...!". Of course he'd already informed me that he hadn't found me that attractive when he first met me, so this comment while a real kick in the gut wasn't that surprising. My nieces can't believe I didn't "kick'em to the curb" then and there. Goes to my lack of self-esteem at the time. As it was, we dated for about six months. I put graduate school on hold because he didn't know where he'd(we - as he implied)get a job. I starved myself because he had no problems advising me at intimate moments that he'd seen me, "looking slimmer in that teddie". I cooked and baked for him only to have him complain that boxed brownie mix was so much better and on one memorable occasion, throw a fit because there were bones in a piece of fish I'd broiled. Stir into this pot my meddling mother who between trying to live my life for me and engineer our break up was telling me she'd never forgive me I "screwed up" this relationship(she thought Alex was a "catch") and telling him he wasn't good enough for me(well - that was true:w00t:). Right around graduation time, I found a faux-diamond ring in a Tiffany box on his desk. Since he only bought the best for himself I don't know whether he was going to try to pass it off as the real deal or if it was left there for me to find and either get upset about or give me a clue. I never acknowledged finding it. This was a guy who told me he'd never send me flowers, because then I'd "expect it all the time". He broke up with me three weeks before graduation. Looking back, I can see how he'd planned the whole thing. There was no concrete "reason" ... he "didn't know what he was going to do with his life", and he "couldn't stand my family"... Oh he wanted us to stay "friends", but he "too busy" attend my graduation ceremony. Me being the doormat I was back then - went to his. His parents didn't even know he'd dumped me! One of his classmates made the comment to me that "...you don't realize it now, but you dodged a bullet..." I moved home to Virginia and from the day after I got home he was calling me and sending me job notices from the city he landed in - but never came out and said he wanted us to be together again. Like an idiot, I got a job and moved in with one of my sorority sisters who lived in the area. Quasi-dating lasted three months and we split up again. A month or so later I'd realized I was better off without him and had been accepted to grad school at UVA for the fall term, so I was packing to move back home when he called and wanted me to pick up some things I'd left at his apartment. I should've never gone over. He'd been drinking and wanted to know why I hadn't called in over a month? Who had I been seeing? You can guess where it went from there - I got to see the same side of Alex that his former lacrosse teammate saw - and a trip to the ER from my roomie-sister - though I had only minor physical injuries. So jump ahead twenty some odd years. My 21-year-old niece is home from college for the summer and I'm telling her this tale. She wonders if Alex is on FaceBook. I'd prefer not to think of Alex so I never looked - but to amuse her we did. Oh - he's on there and guess who one of his Facebook buddies is - my old roomie-sister..who only knew him because she knew me...and knew what he did and said to me...Two Weasels from the Past!

Yes - Changed my screen name. Thought I was being clever "JaxNole88" refering to the last vacation (Jackson Hole, WY) I enjoyed before I was really plus sized (1988). Got too many strange inquires so I decided to go even more obscure. RavenClaw779 - Was it my "house" at Hogwarts:tongue2:? Or is it a part of a line from a poem(song) by a famous singer? Did I weigh 779 pounds? Things that make you go "hmmm"! Ponder on dear readers...