Texarkolina

Love this thread. I once lost 100 pounds in 7 months with very strict dieting and exercise (I have since found them and their nasty little friends....but I digress) and had severe FLS. I actually worked with a counselor for a few sessions over the issue. I would go to the mall to buy clothes that fit and would wind up overwhelmed and sobbing on a bench. It took me forever to learn to accept a compliment and not have that moment of "am I going to fit" every time I walked towards a booth. I can't wait to have it again!!

I am not sure that the moderators will allow this, but I would like to give a shout out to Delta. Although the flight attendant did forget to bring me an extender, they were all very nice about the whole thing. Their policy is that they will work with all passengers to transport them comfortably. You will not be asked to purchase an extra seat. If you require more room than one seat, they will re-seat you if possible, or move you to another flight where your needs can be accommodated. The lady I talked to on the phone before my flight was able to tell me that there were a lot of empty seats on the plane, so there should be no problem with my needing extra space. At least I knew that I would not be stranded or have to cough up money for another seat--just deal with the embarrassment. I also checked about seat belt extenders online and found out that you can buy them on ebay and several other sites for anywhere from $30 and up. Boy o boy do I wish I would have though about that before the flight. Having my own seat belt extender would have made this so much easier.

Thank you all so much for understanding. I know it could have been much worse, but it was upsetting enough as it was. I can't wait to be on the other side of this.

I am scheduled for surgery on July 23, and it can't get here soon enough. I just changed jobs and got a last minute call from the new job telling me that they wanted me to travel the first week. This involved flying to Chicago. Now I am the biggest I have ever been, and I am bigger than the airplane seats. On the way up I sat next to a very nice lady that threw the armrest up as I approached and said, "I am going to leave this up if you don't mind because they make these seats too small and it makes me feel too closed in." I appreciated her being kind so much I nearly broke down in tears right there. I was able, by some miracle, to get the seatbelt fastened but it was so tight I was in a lot of pain. I swallowed my pride and asked the flight attendant for an extender, but she never brought me one and I just couldn't make myself ask again. I sat there in agony--spilling into the next seat and into the aisle--and praying that the seatbelt buckle was strong enough to hold my mass in without exploding into pieces. I can just see the headlines, "fat woman explodes seatbelt--plane makes emergency landing". I chatted with the lady beside me and apologized for crowding her. She was very kind and said that she was glad to sit by me and have someone there to talk to so she would be distracted because she is afraid to fly. I had bruises on my legs and pain in my abdomen all week where the seat belt was during the flight and I was miserable. I decided to call the airline for my return trip and see what I needed to do. They told me to wait and ask at the gate. I did--humiliated--and was treated kindly. She moved me to a seat without a seatmate. The flight attendent brough me an extender--subtly--and I made it home without further bodily injury. I know this could have been a lot worse, but in my mind I felt so humiliated by the whole experience. I worried about the return trip all week and wondered if all the people I was meeting in my new job were judging me for being so big. I just want to live in a world where I fit.

Thanks. I hope you have several inches of belt flopping free the whole flight!

I am sorry that he did that to you. I would be mad and hurt too. Be mad--yell and scream if that it what it takes--but get it out of your system and let it go. You can't unring the bell and you really don't need this distraction right now. Please don't let his big mistake turn into a major part of your journey.

My surgeon had me sign a form stating that I understood that I should wait 2 years before having kids. You should check with your suregon about when it is ok for you to start trying, but yes---you can have babies with a sleeve.

What brand of the triple chocolate did you try? Thus far I have tried a couple of protein shots--one grape and one watermelon flavor--and I can't do those. They are so sweet they make me gag--and I generally like sweet stuff. I am not a huge fan of milkshakes, so I am a little concerned about finding some protein product that I can use without gagging. Do you have a date, yet?

Birth control pills can make a woman feel bat poop crazy. Maybe this isn't a good time to start them.......

I have not had my surgery yet....so I can't speak to what you are going through and I am pretty sure an "aawwww, hand in there" is not what you want to hear...... Did you do a psychological eval before your surgery? I did mine not too long ago and the one thing I remember was some advice she gave me that went something like this. You are going to voluntarily put yourself through a major life upheaval including physical discomfort and emotional distress and give up something (overeating) that you have depended on for years. It will be a long process to adjust to your new life, and during that process you are going to have several periods where you deeply regret what you have done. You need to prepare for that, expect it, and embrace it as a part of the process that you have to go through to get to a better you. When you hit that period you should tell yourself 1. I knew this was coming, 2. It is normal and necessary as part of a life change for me and, (most importantly) 3. It will pass. I don't mean to speak out of turn because I haven't had my surgery, but I wrote this down to encourage myself if I feel the way you do after surgery......If this helps you at all great...if not--please forgive.....

I have a tentative date of July 23 for surgery in Arkansas here. I have insurance approval and will go for an appointment with the surgeon on May 30 so they will confirm the date then. I am excited and nervous. I am going to start a new job on the 4th and really hope I am not too weak after the surgery to do well at my job. I do human resources, so it is sit-down work most of the time. I can't wait!!!

Most likely the HR department will have a form that they want the treating doctor to fill out. I would start with the HR department, get the form, and fax it to your surgeon's office to complete. It doesn't matter that the surgeon is in Mexico. You shouldn't have to have anything from an additional doctor. Just to be clear, the opinion of the HR department about this surgery is totally irrelevant. You have a serious medical condition--obesity--and are going to have an approved procedure--WLS--to treat the condition. Don't let anybody bully you about this!!! Please let us know how it goes.

I have managed to get myself into the situation of getting a great new job offer (which I need because the place I am working is closing) and approval for surgery on the same day. I am trying to navigate this delicately--I can keep my insurance through COBRA and start the new job, but I will need time off about 2 months in for surgery. I have to accept the offer tomorrow and really think I need to be upfront about needing to be off of work so soon after I start. I realize this could put my dream job--and it is a dream job for me--in jeopardy. Besides that, I am really nervous about handling all the stress of a new job and the surgery at the same time--plus I am a single mom. I realize I am facing some tough days ahead if I go ahead with the surgery, and I am freaking out a little. I am currently pushing 300 pounds on my 5'5" frame and have a lot of joint/feet pain that makes it hard to keep up with my toddler. I really want to do this, but I am scared of everything coming at me all at once. There is a part of me that says just take the job and forget the surgery....maybe you can have it another time. I am usually pretty strong and can deal with a lot of stress at once, but I think this is really going to stretch my limits. Anyone else had multiple big stressors during their surgery and recovery time? Do you regret it? How did you cope? Please convince me that I can do both and it will be okay.

This is an elective surgery. Elective surgeries are simply surgeries that are not emergencies. There is no difference between this and a back surgery. Both are medically necessary as determined by your physician and necessary to improve quality and longevity of life. Is there an HR department where you work? If so, you should go talk to them. They will request documentation from the doctor, but are bound by law to keep your medical information private. If you work at a medical center my guess is that they won't react negatively at all. If you have been there for a year or more and the business has 50 or more employees, you can ask for FMLA paperwork. FMLA is dictated by federal law and qualifies you for up to 12 weeks off for treatment of your serious health condition (obesity). This is job-protected leave which means that they cannot fire you or penalize you in any way for being off of work. Oftentimes if an employer offers STD they will have you sign up for both FMLA (to protect your job while you are out--they can't penalize you for missing work) and STD (insurance plan that will pay you a portion of your salary--normally 60%--while you are off of work). I know it is confusing, but I work in HR and deal with this stuff every day. You really should take advantage of both FMLA--if you qualify--and STD. You need to go into this surgery focused on your health and not worried about work and finances. I am sorry that you are feeling judgement from anyone that this is because you are "too lazy" to lose weight the normal way. But.....don't let them convince you that you are doing something wrong or that you should be ashamed of it. Go talk to your HR department with the same confidence that you would have if you were going in to have gallbladder surgery. Good luck.

Well, I accepted the offer today and felt comfortable enough to ask about time off for surgery. He didn't miss a beat....he said, "sure..you just let us know when and how long you need off." I didn't tell him what kind of surgery, and he didn't ask. I am so relieved and EXCITED. My dream job and I can still go ahead and have the surgery! My gut told me that I needed to be 100% honest up front or I would worry about it forever, and I am so glad I was. He even told me that there was no need to take the time off as unpaid--as I had suggested--because I would qualify for Short Term Disability. I am totally blown away! My tentative surgery date is July 23, and my back-up date is August 6. I feel so blessed. Thank you everyone for your suggestions and support.

I do human resources for a living and deal with FMLA each and every day. This would absolutely qualify under FMLA as treatment for a serious medical condition. In order to qualify you have to have been with your employer for one year, however.

Thank you for that. I didn't even thing about the getting to know you lunches and such, but I would probably be through that before surgery. I do human resources, and the new job is a human resources manager at a local factory. It is a desk job, so maybe I can just take a week off.

I just heard that I got approval today. I will have a consultation and then get a surgery date. I am so excited!

We sent everything in late on Thursday, May 3...., got a request for a letter from my PCP on Monday, May 7. That took a couple of days and was sent in on Friday, May 11 after 5. I got approval today before noon. They are fast if you have everything to begin with. I asked them to send me their list and kinda took control because I am in a time crunch. I guess in all I just waited on them for 3 days....all the other time it was a weekend or the ball was in my court. By the way, the letter from my PCP (stating that I am medically stable for surgery) is not on their list, but the insurance lady with BCBS said they always require it. If you didn't send one you may want to make an appointment just in case.

Empire BC/BS

My thoughts are these: Some women in their mid to late 30s have always had a strong desire to have kids but were waiting for the perfect timing. They watch their biological clock creep up and when it hits 35 they NEED to have a baby. I had an overwhelming desire to have kids that had been with me for years, and I knew I would regret not having one the rest of my life--so baby first despite my weight. I had a difficult pregnancy and delivery and am now heavier than I have ever been. I am trying to get approved for surgery now. I am really happy with my decision. Others look up, realize they are 35 and forgot to have a kid so they have one because it's time and they don't want to miss an opportunity. My best friend was trying to get pregnant at the same time I was, had some difficulty, and decided to stop trying. She realized that, while she did want a baby, she didn't want the stress of fertility treatments and that she could easily accept the idea of not ever having children. Both my best friend and I are happy with our decisions. So my advice--do some real soul-searching. If you wait and have the surgery, then wait the 1-2 years recommended after surgery and cannot conceive, how will you feel? Is that something that you can live with? If you get pregnant while still heavy and have a difficult pregnancy can you deal with that? I don't think the answer is going to come from anywhere but your heart. Whatever you decide I wish you the best of luck and peace with your decision.

Do it! When I got to the "am I too old" part I had to scroll back up and see if I had misread your age. Look at the number of years you have to enjoy it--it is a long time.

I work in a factory that is closing by the end of the year. I am in HR and have already started looking for another job. I had an interview with a company that went great, and I think I will have an offer sometime next week. Problem with that is, I don't have a surgery date yet. I have Empire BC/BS insurance that covers WLS with relatively few hoops to jump through--or so that is what I understand. I have had the seminar, psych eval, nutrition counseling, and I meet the BMI requirements--easily. The psych eval was supposed to be ready by Friday of last week and the coordinator said she would get my stuff typed up and sent off for approval "as soon as possible." I already did all the leg work and long phone calls to get a medical case management set up so all she has to do is fax everything in. When the approval (I am not going to even thing about it being a denial) comes in, I still have to have an appointment with the surgeon, then an egd and 2 week liquid diet. If I knew a surgery date before I was offered a new job I would probably be able to discuss it with them before I start, but I don't know how to make arrangements with them about it if I don't have a date. On the insurance issue, I could always take COBRA until after the surgery..... I am so overwhelmed with this that I am about to lose my mind. I have to take another job if I get an offer because, besides it seeming like an awesome job, come September-ish my current job will end. However, I also feel like I have to have the surgery no matter what and the new company's insurance may or may not pay for it. Self pay is out and I don't want to put it off any longer. I know I probably need to just try and relax and let it play out, but I am so anxious.... Any advice on how to speed up the process?

The larger the size the more difference in the measurements of the clothing. For example, if you measure the waist and hips of most 24 size pants they are 3 to 3 1/2 inches larger than a size 22 of the same style/brand. If you do the same with a size 6 and 8, you will only find about one inch or less difference. So, in reality going from a size 24 to a 22 is way more of a change than going from a 8 to an 6. I have found this out during my years of yo-yo dieting and feeling frustration at not being able to get away from a certain size. That is when I stopped going my clothing size and started taking my measurements.

Hi. I am new here and this is my first post. I have not yet been approved for surgery, but I am hopeful... I would like to keep the surgery private except for my best friend who lives close until after the surgery. I don't know how my family would react, and I don't need the added stress of dealing with their emotions on top of my own. That being said, that will leave me in a position of having little help with my 2 1/2 year old after surgery. Any other single moms or dads with toddlers out there that have had the surgery? Any advice? Am I crazy to think I can manage for the 2 of us after I come home with limited help? My little girl will still go to daycare during the week, but mornings and evenings will be on me. Also, how long before you could drive after the surgery? Thanks!