raynie

Thanks guys! Just help me pray I dont miscarry! Sonia I have been experiencing that chix doesnt go down either with me unless its fried chix! hehe but yes, that darn ice cream is so easy! without hardly a fill I have been able to eat more and bigger bites. Sometimes I forget and look at my spoon and see the huge amount that I am about to shove into my mouth and think "what the hell am I doing?" lol This whole lap band think can be a pain in the ass at times! Gratz on everyones losses! You guys are doing great! ~Raynie!

Yays! This is cool....so I will prolly just use this thread till a new post arrives. Gratz to you Candice! I am due March 15th 2008. Thanks for all the replies.... I will just type away and vent away at all the little miracles that life brings. I would like to see others too.... it will help me stay focused and keep me from going mental! I would start off by saying that I just read a very depressing book about miscarriages. Ugh! here is a little history of my life- I had two kids with my first husband, then we divorced when they was about 3 and 2 years old. The month we decieded to end the marriage, I had found out that I was pregnant again. I was devastated- but fortunately it ended up in an ectopic pregnancy. I was confused but was happy I wasnt bringing another child into a broken marriage. I was about 19 at this time in life. Very young and dumb Then I met a guy, fell in love and after 3 years of dating him- I ended up pregnant- lost the baby to a miscarriage. I was upset, but kinda relieved again as I knew this guy was not right for me. I figured God again knew what he was doing. So then we broke up after finding out what a bastard he really was. A few years later I find another loser! lol This time I ended up pregnant- and it stuck. Yays! I didnt really know what a loser of a guy this one was yet, I was extremly happy that I could still carry a child! I gave birth to a healthy lil girl. Then 2 years later- same guy- never married him thank god- I got pregnant again! This time a boy! Right before I had this baby, I had lost like 60 pounds from the little girl. boy did I gain weight with that pregnancy! I gained all that 60 pounds back and 30 more to go with it! Putting me at 290 pounds at delivery! I was high risk- no gestatiional diabetes but I had severe water retention. It was horriable. I also worked up till my 9th month. this whole time I was pregnant with the last child- I fell in love with my boss, who was married. Eww... I never told him though.. I was filled with guilt for being pregnant and falling in love with the non father of this child. Needless to say after the birth the father became not only emotionally abusive to but physically abusive as well. Yikes! I couldnt let my kids grow up like this and split. The same time I was going thru this the boss ended his marriage too. His wife fell in love with some online game friend of hers and had an affair! So we hooked up- and a year latter we married on the anniversary of our first kiss. Aww.... Now this guy is a real winner. He is even a pastors son! And his dad married us. ok anyways- two years into the marriage I got pregnant. 1 week after finding it out I lost the baby. This was extremly a depressing time for me. I had no idea why God would do this. I finally find the great guy, he loves my 4 kids, we have a new house, nice jobs etc. I lost my mind and turned to smoking cigs and an occasional joint.. hehe to clear my head. Ok so that was all two years ago. We are still married! Yays! But at the time of the miscarriage- the ob doc says to relax, no stress, lots of women have miscarriages, its normal etc. Well I tried everything- no luck. I went back into his office a year later- crying cause I still had no baby. So we ran tests. I seemed to be fine. Thats great! I can even feel my ovualtion time- that horriable pain in the ovary- it hurts like hell. Doc says to take some Aleve, I try to tell him that it hurts so bad during this time that sex is not an option! It hurt like hell! lol- we charted my ovulation, my period, everything... we even ran a test to see if my tubes were blocked. Now I am still a huge gal, and my doc suggests trying more excercise and that might increase fertilty. So I go and get the Lap Band done a few months later. This is now Oct of last year- I have not seen the Doc since then, and he has no idea I even did this. So I drop like 30 pounds- the first few months - and get paranoid that what if I get pregnant. So we stop leaving it in'- and then a few more months passes by and I get the baby urge again. So we start trying. At this point I have lost 50 pounds and bam! It worked, but was not really expecting it. It took a few months. I struggled with waiting until I lost all the weight I wanted too lose first so that I could finally be cute, sexy, little pregnant thing with the adorably hard belly that you can actually see the baby moving! hehe I crave for that. But hell, I am 31 now and freaking out about my rotting eggs. I feel like crap i already have the band, I can just loose the weight after the baby is born. Then get the tummy tuck. Yeah! This will work. So here I am .... a day after I find out that I am pregnant freaking out over every little twinge in my tummy thinking that I will have a miscarriage. Maybe I dont have enough nutrients in my system right nw to do this. This saddens me. that dumb book didnt help me any ease my mind about things. I swear I have prayed like a 100 times these past 2 days to God too please let us keep this one! We shall cross our fingers and hope it works! So I will pretend that everything will be fine up until the day something bad happens if it does. I shouldnt worry over this causing more stress, but at the same time- its hard to get too excited about it too cause of the big let down if the miscarriage does happen. Now what I mean? So whats a girl to do? Just pray and wait I suppose. So my fears of this pregnancy is limited to just a few- 1- How do I conquer morning sickness without puking? I am so nausious its ridiculous! I never had this before- almost like dry heaves, sweaty feelings, I just want it to end. But I am enjoying it at the sametime too. Wierd. My hubby is currently trying to get me some ins so I can go to the ob, it takes 10 days to process. I cant go back to the Lap Band Dr all the way in Mexico- just to ask about what I can do to prevent throwing up... thats kinda silly. I do not need an unfill, I think I can eat a good size meal still, and I swallowed a prenantal vit with no problem today! Those things are kinda big. 2. How do I get thru the pregnancy with this port thingie in me? Wont that hurt as the baby kicks and moves? Can there be complications? Can it come undone? I am scarred! 3. How do I get thru the labor without pushing down so hard and not busting or inflaming the band itself? I am starting to really freak out about that. I push pretty damn hard, and when your in pain you dont even care what happens as long as the pain ends. I might be afraid that I might black out or something and forget that I even have a lap band. lol that would suck if it broke after I give birth! one of the joys of being pregnant is eating whatever the heck you want too! rofl maybe I should have a C-section. Thats scarry too. Ok thats my story....hope you all enjoy! Add on to this if you guys want to keep this going. ~Raynie! *hugs*

Hey hey hey..... hehe I am so sorry I havent logged in for soooo long. Been on vacation and such..... well vacation was great cause guess what? RAYNIE IS PREGNANT! I KNOW I CANT BELIEVE IT! I just found out today, the hubby is happy... the in-laws are scarred cause of the band and complications. I cant really find too much info on it. I dont think I need a unfill since I can practically eat everything... lol Gosh I cant believe I am pregnant.... I have so much too do..... its nice to see you all still alive! I dont have time to read all the posts I missed! I am sorry, please forgive me! *hugs* ~Raynie!

Heya everyone.... I am getting ready for Disneyland so I wont be posting again till after I get back... I cant wait to go! But anyways... just wanted to say Hi and to keep up the good work! My gym closed the water area down for 3 weeks to retile the surface, and I got my TOM.... I feel like the pounds are going to soar onto my ass any mintue now! LOL Thats what I always hated about dieting and exercise... the minute you stop or slow down then damn it just piles up! Oh well.... Have a good two weeks guys and dont get into too much trouble! *hugs* hope everyone is feeling better... ~Raynie!

Hey guys! Its me! I havent posted in so long.... I think a month. But oddly enough I still read your posts daily. Its about all the time I have and never any time to write what I want to say. Sorry about that... My hubby and I own a daycare so I am seriously busy. I often start to reply to a post but get interrupted, by the time I return back to the computer.... its been cancelled out. Mary and Shirley..... Stop stressing me out! You two make me worry about you too much! lol I hope you guys are healing well! I prayed for you often. JDru.... you keep me going.... I love your posts.... you seem like the sweetest person and I love looking at your pic ... Gratz on your loss! Jimboss- You done moving yet? Shoot I feel like flying over there to give ya a hand.... Gratz on your loss too! And everyone else.... Keep up the great work! I feel like I can relate to all of you guys in some way or another... I love reading about all your problems... makes me feel less alone. Thank you everyone for your honesty with admitting your screw ups, sometimes I sit back and laugh after reading some of the comments, thinking "oh that happens to me too!" So I am almost a week away from our Disney trip.... Yays! I almost hit my goal- 50 pounds.... I am one pound away, and unfortunately my TOM is due, and I feel bloated. So I cross my fingers and hope that I really did make my goal. My next goal is 50 pounds by Halloween.... After Disney I soooo need to get another fill. I feel as if I am struggling right now, I am still losing but I am busting my ass off at the gym. I can eat almost everything, if I follow the rules. I dont think I have much restriction anymore and that makes it easier to eat fast and bigger bites. But I keep telling myself to slow down and to remember that I do have a band. I forget that sometimes! After I get this fill.... i must obey the rules or I will be in trouble. I think I have been hesitant about getting the fill. I have been mentally trying to prepare myself. I seem to have been depressed about not eating as much. i still make huge plates, nibble on a few bites, look down at it with a sad puppy dog look, and pass the plate off the DH. So after a fill, I will be eating even less! Sometimes I wonder if it is even possiable. And that sends me into a depression big time. But I have been going to the gym almost 4 times a week. 3 days of water aerobics and dummy me, ran into the old trainer and he talked me into a few more sessions. So I now see him once a week in between the aerobics class. everything has been at 9 am so it almost feels as if I started a new routine. That helps alot. 9 out of 10 times I really have to push myself to go but once i am in the car driving I feel motivated. And what an energy rush I get from working out! Its great! Yesturday they convinced me to sign up for the VIP ... which let me add 10 friends and family members to my account for just an extra $15 a month. So now all my friends want to go, since I can only bring one at a time- I made a weekly schedule of who can go with me on which days. I hope that will keep me motivated to go as well. So all in all life is good. The weight loss has been slow, but hopefully with more gym time the fat will burn more. Plus the summer is coming! time to sweat! I recently bought a new product called Regena-Pro. Its at Maxs Muscles. Basically you take a capfull before bed and it helps support healthy hair, skin, nails etc. It contains collagen protein to prevent hair loss. I havent seen to much hair loss, and hopefully I never will! Alright, kids are waking up from nap time... time to go! *hugs* ~Raynie! ps. If you drink Muscle milk light... here is a tip- wash the glass out and the mixer right away. its so gross and smells so bad if a little is left behind. I had opened the blender and figured I would just rinse it out since I had just used it a few hours ago.... OMG... the smell was so gross! I ordered a new flavor this time- Vanilla. Hope it isnt as powdery as the strawberry milkshake. Have a good day guys, and until next time!

Hello everyone..... Hope everyones Easter was swell!! I just have to say this- MML is so good I gained a whole breast size! I am now a DDD!!!!!!!!! Sweet Jesus I didnt think it was true when I measured myself so I went out and tried em on- and they fit beautifully! hehe ~Raynie!

Thanks Jess! It worked! ~Raynie!

Ok I tried to update my ticker. Just testing to see if I did it right.

Well Jimboss, If I am here for life then I expect gifts from everyone at all holidays and my birthday which is coming up in June!!! serious! I like flowers, anything pink, clothes of course, I love anything with Tinkerbell, and Shoes! I love Shoes- size 10. ROFL We should start some sort of clothes exchange program. And we should host or own Lap Band before/after show. Like a contest.... we could model our bods off and show pics of what we used to look like. And then have a judge pic out the best makeover and have a cool prize. LOL See ya around guys- time for Aqua Aerobics. ~Raynie gratz to Losinjusme- thats awesome hun! ( I read your post somewhere, your doing so great!)

welcome back Roxy! Great newz on the fill, Gratzie! Thanks Jess! Gratz on your loss! Thats super! So what size are you at now? Dont loose anymore though, we wouldn't want you to dissappear! Actually, how does that work? Once we hit our goal weight..... are we still going to log in here everyday? Are we Oct Bandsters for life? hehe I know I need a fill, but I deceided that I would wait till after Disneyland- The only reason being is so I can eat the Pinneapple on the stick at the Tiki Room. LOL seriously though, I want to pig out at Disneyland. Not like the old days, but the way it is now. ROFL! Have a good day everyones! ~Raynie!

Right on! ~Raynie! I needed that laugh!

and one more question: Shirley might know this one..... How do I fix the darn ticker again? lol Ty ~Raynie!

question: How much did you guys weigh when you wore a size 18/20? thanks ~Raynie!

Thanks for the words of wisdom, and welcome back Pistol! Your crazy Jimboss! LOL I hope Jess makes alot of dough! Happy Easter Shirley! And Happy Easter to all of you all! and umm.... Happy Hump day! (today is wednesday) Now off to the gym I go.... or maybe I will take a nap... ~Raynie!

hehe thanks, and your right..... I cant give up... Disneyland is less then a month and a half away! I must keep going .... plus I just took back one of the shorts I ordered and returned it for a size 20. Those bastards better fit me by next month. I can say that my fat looks so much better with this tan! I love the tanning salon and its actually relaxing! i just started wondering if the tanning bed is melting my port or band in any way. The max you can stay under the rays are 20 min. you guys think it will hurt it at all? I dont want to kill my Bandy! Your hair sounds nice Hun! I will prolly cut a little and dye it darker in the beg of may. I also want to get purple eye contacts. Then I will really be bangin on them bitches! lol j/k ~Raynie!

I know- what a horriable friend! I just feelso bummed out now. And I am major pmsing. So thats not helping any. I just want to cry.........I feel like I will always be fat. ~Raynie ps. Jimboss!!!! I still haven't gotten your email! I hope you didnt send it to wrong folks again!

Gmorning everyones, Gratz on all the sucess! Heres my story for the weekend: I went to visit my friend, she is heavy sized gal- wears a size 26 and used to give meall her old clothes. So I go and visit and this bitch lost weight! I couldnt believe it! Shes in a size 20- and was showing of some new jeans and slaps her ass and says "how you like that? and I didnt even have surgery!" I almost beet the bitch ass! I couldnt believe she said that! I think she prolly doing something illegal and thats how she lost it. Hopefully she will regain hers back. Heha ~Raynie!

does anyone know why my ticker is broked? ~Raynie!

HAHAHA Sonia! I was just telling my dh this morning that he should of gave me $10,000 so I could go on a crack diet, instead of getting this band! I bet I would be skinny by now...rofl!!!! So now I will have a crack buddy! hehe Just Kidding- Shirley - I pay $25 a month for my worldwide 24 hour fitness club membership. But- I joined up 4 years ago and paid almost $150 for membership fees and enrllment fees. It was also a discounted rate due to my job. But I got a really good deal at the time since it was a worldwide membership, they take the dues out of my Visa every month. But- out of the past 4 years.... I would say I have only went for the past year and a half! LOL what a waste! My DH used to say to me all the time that he was going to cancel the membership but then I would cry and insist that I would go! So I think you are getting a good deal.... but if you can ever get to a pool- It will do you wonders in healing your knee. My aqua aerobics class is mostly filled with older woman and heavy woman. I figure that the water helps absorb the pain and stuff and you can balance alot better. I am not calling you old! I just think it might help you heal faster without the pain!!! Le- I have been feeling so nausiated lately early in the morning, after I drink my MML I feel way better. Maybe you should try it too! Welcome back Eile! And Jimboss- I checked my email and got nothing! Except for the private emails saying its coming... lol resend it please, its been too long! Heya- do you have a little guest house in the backyard so all us angels can come visit you? ~Raynie!

I feel so loved! Thanks for the info guys! I love you all too! Well it must have been water or something cause its back to normal! Whew! ......it was scary! I also cracked up the MM and my MML is almost out! Yikes! Time to reorder. I also went to water aerobics this morning! Felt Great! NIce to see you around again, Jimboss! i was getting worried! Gratz on the house, I want to see pics too! *hugs to everyone*

Well CrapOla...... I gained 8 pounds since last Sunday! I am dumbfounded. I jumped on and off the scale several times in disbelief. But it seems to be true. What could have went wrong? I didnt even think I ate to much last week. I even went to the gym! And I went to Frisco on Sat and walked all damn day long! I am so boggled by this. One thing I did do differently is I joined a tanning salon. The receptionist is also a nutritionist at Max's Muscles. I started to buy another Muscle Milk since they carry it, and he says that this stuff is crap. I started to get a little mad at him... then he showed High 5 and we compared the calories and sugar and stuff. He says that MM is for real hard core athletes. So I made the switch and now it says to drink just 4 oz with one scoop. I was used to the 16 oz of mm. Maybe this week I will drink only shakes and alternate between the 2. I am so mad! This wasnt supposed to happen. BLAH! I have been in bed all day pouting. I need a Ho-Ho..... never mind... just give me the whole box! lol ~Raynie ps. where is Jimboss? pss. Sonia you look fabulous!

Nice Booty Jess! You look awesome! Yeah Shirley... bring on the pics, and thanks for the advice. Has anyone heard from old Jimboss? ~Raynie

ps. sorry about the cussing! And pss.- My inlaws happen to be going to disneyland with us! HA! It will be such a great trip.......Yeah ..... hehe

Oh Shirley! lol... I wish the In Laws were Fat! But of course not, not one of em are! The dad and mom are like 51 and 61 and they are still trying to loose weight and they arent even fat! Its very frustrating going to visit them and have to sit thru a conversation of how they cant loose any weight. They take this very seriously.... they built on a gym to the house! They never eat out... etc etc. Once at Christmas when we all exchange gifts, someone got a xl t- shirt and was laughing at the other person who bought it saying stuff like "you must think I am a Giant!" and crap like that. It gets embarrassing for me and uncomfortable. Then they start on my kids- I have 4- two fat ones and 2 thin ones. They always talk crap about how awful parents we are to let them get that way, and how they need to excerise more. When the mom isnt around then the dad really goes off on them about there weight. Its sad. The more I write about it, makes me not even want to go over there sometimes. But, then again they do need more excercise. rofl you can tell I am fat cause I cant remember how to spell excercise...excersise... er.... whatever.... lol As far as my hubby goes, he never has made fat jokes or comments but I know already deep down he must think about his fat wife. Like once we were at a car shop and they have those tiny hot babes spread all over the cars on magazines and pictures posted everywhere. I always find myself looking at them in a daze... like WOW shes HOT! Anyways, I told my hubby to pick out the cutest one. he refuses to play this game with me, but he says that I am the cutest one... (lol) and that I remind him of an elf. (not the fat little pudgy elfs, but the prettier ones- I had to ask him) so I ask him " what are you going to do if I actually loose enough weight and really look like a sexy elf?" He replies with a chuckle and says something like "I dont know, I really wont be able to tell fantasy from reality then" Stuff like that depresses me. Cause then I think deep down he must really think I am gross. I go home and see the fat and think he is right- this is gross! I have been more and more depressed lately too, guess what I fraking did today? I charged almost $800 on clothes! On the hubbys card too! lol It was only a few items too- I ordered some Baby Phat and Apple Bottoms outfits, they get a little pricey. As I am ordering this stuff (for my disney trip) I get more depressed as I look at the size charts. According to them- I am still a fraking 24! FUK FUK FUK! So I placed the orders anyways. Fuk It. If I loose more weight I can just mail it back and reorder. But I already know what will happen. I will mail it all back (pay more shipping fees) reorder the new size, only to discover I didnt loose enought to get in the new size.... and then mail that order back and reorder the original size. FUK FUK FUK! I am the bandsters biggest looser! I missed you guys! Gratz everyone on your successes.... and reaching Onderland is fraking awesome! Way to go! ~Raynie!

Oh my goodness.... I haven't logged on here for awhile now! Do you all forgive me? Please.......I sorry! Gratz on everyones loss and welcome to all the new folks! Want to hear my funny story? So its Sunday and I go to Wal Mart to pick out a quick outfit to wear to the In-Laws house. I grabbed a pair of Capris and a pretty shirt. I thought I deserved a new outfit since I stepped on the scale and finally hit my 40 pound loss! I was really excited, right? So on went the clothes, and off we went to the in laws. while we were there, the damn Capris kept falling off! So I am once again walking around with one hand constantly tuggin them back up. It was getting really annoying though, and Not one family member said anything about my weight loss, which pissed me off since they haven't seen me since Dec. Oh well. So we get home and I run to the bathroom and take off the capris- I doubled checked the size- I knew the hanger said a 22, but why are they falling off? I think to myself how awesome this is- and just Maybe I will be in a 18 by the time I take my Disney trip in may! Sweet right? lol so I checked the size and WTF it was a 26!!!!! Geez! I was pissed! I was prolly more upset that they didnt fall off imediatley! My DH threw away my tags... so I didnt bother to return them. But Damn it what a dissappointment that day! Oh and guess what the Damned Hubby said when I told him about my 40 pound mark? He said "oh so your still losing weight?" WTF! I wanted to cry and scream at the same fukin time! (I only called him damned instead of darling on that day) but seriously I feel traumatized somedays! Anyone who says having this surgery is an easy way out is crazy! Like I just did this to my body- I can hardly eat- and your still thinking of how fat I am? I know this is a long process of shedding the pounds.... but geez- can we ever get just a little credit? So to all of Jimboss's angels- I am giving everyone an extra *big hugs* for all the hard work you have all done to get to the spot you are at right now! *cheers to us* ps. I had to restock my pantie drawer! I love buying new panties! ~Raynie!