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Thanks for the good wishes, Everyone. I really appreciate all the support! Janet, your pictures are absolutely fantabulous!!!! Thank you for reminding us that our goals have so much to do with fitness and health. Wouldn't it be great if we all get to a point where we could do these kinds of things together? By the way, you look incredible and you look sooooooooo happy? Charlene, I'm hoping that DIL and child are doing well. It had to be scarey for you all. Please know that prayers were always coming your way. Lori, SIZE 10 jeans! Like I said, "Would I even recognize you if I saw you again?" You are doing so much and so well. WOW! Holly, good luck with your fill. This last one has made such a difference for me. I truly believe I started this journey this month, not 8 months ago when I was banded. Tomato soup isn't so bad. JoAnn, I've missed a lot all these months. Did you do the quilt behind your picture? It's beautiful. It seems like such a short time ago that you were talking about having your surgery. Look at you now! Linda, thanks for the good wishes. Have you lost 50+ pounds since January? I am sooooo jealous and so motivated. John, welcome to the board. I've been where you are, but this is the place to come to turn it all around. Also, "tweaking your band" helps a lot too. I never thought I would WANT to be tight, but now I know why the band is there!!! Julie, I have yet to wear pants with a zipper. CONGRATULATIONS!!!! Hope your weather is better and that spring is on the way. Hi Kathy, Hi Phyl. How are you doing? Have to catch up on your previous posts. Missed you. HI Emma! I don't think we've met. Nice to meet you. OK, I'm really trying to catch up!!!!!!!!!! So nice to be back. Talk to you all later. Love, Ellen

Hi Everyone! Missed you all - again! I swear I haven't been avoiding the board. In fact, I've been doing pretty well since my last fill. 7 cc's in a 9 cc band provides me with that "sweet spot" f-i-n-a-l-l-y!!!!! Ask me what did happen! No, don't, because you wouldn't believe it anyway. MY CEILING CAVED IN. After the earthquake 10+ years ago, we had the whole house redone and made safe, retrofitting, they call it. Well, we haven't had any major shakers here, but I was sitting in the family room about two weeks ago (You lose track of time when you're in total shock.) and I'm staring into the living room, because I hear a noise. I look up as the entire ceiling comes crashing down. Plaster, insulation, dirt, everything all over the place. I was hysterical, because if my grandson, if anyone, for that matter, had been in that room, they would have been killed!!!!!! The ceiling wasn't drywall, but plaster and cement! Seems as though, my illustrious contractor, whom we paid to repipe, reinsulate, redo EVERYTHING took a few shortcuts!!! Insurance won't cover shoddy workmanship, so we are in the midst of trying to fight for a repair that was supposed to be taken care of way back then. I don't know if it was nerves or a stomach virus but a few days later I just started having ALL the symptoms of a stomach flu. AWFUL! Well, there's two weeks of my life. Now I'm back and hopefully I can connect with all of you again and start living life a little less like a post traumatic stress survivor. I'm going back to read all the messages I missed. Will talk to you all later. Love, Ellen 7 is heaven.

Apples, thanks for the recipe. Guess what I'm making for dinner tomorrow night? And the ramekin idea is great! Have a nice night. Love, Ellen

Good Morning! Hi Everyone! I've been reading the messages here and on other forums about the kinds of support we do and don't get and it really got to me. On the one hand I have people in my life who are rooting me on and then some of those same people are the first to criticize. It's absolutely schizophrenic!!!!!!!!!!!!!! As for our mothers, I have my own theory about parents and their same sex children. And boy, is this only a theory!!!!!! I think for many of them, the same sex child is their second chance. What they criticize in us may be what they criticize in themselves or maybe they are looking for the perfection they wanted in themselves and they now want to see it in their children. I know this sounds absolutely convoluted, but who knows? I guess what I'm really saying is, truth be told, we're not going to change them, no way, now how. Although we want to, it's not going to happen. What we can change is ourselves. We can learn to have faith that what we're doing is "right on" and be proud of each step we take. We can learn to listen to our friends who are actually on this journey with us and who really care, those with no hidden agendas. Yes, we need support and we need praise from others, but my personal goal is to be proud of myself first. Boy, would that be great? To look in the mirror and see who I really am and be proud of who's looking back. As for those who criticize what we eat: Hmmmph!!! Civilians, as weight watchers used to say, eat everything. They eat in moderation. They know when they're full. They exercise and they have their lives in control. One of my best friends has desert with EVERY meal. She was brought up on a farm and they had 3 good solid meals a day, with desert, and that was it! She still lives like that today and she's not overweight in the least. One small order of chicken McNuggets didn't put all the weight on. A couple of treats a week isn't what did it. By the way, I "cracked" a couple of weeks ago. I couldn't take the constant criticism. If one more negative thing was said to me, I was going to slit my wrists! I cried and cried and felt absolutely miserable and then when I hit rock bottom, I realized that it was up to me to walk away when I was being talked to like that, to stand up for myself when I was being attacked and to stop "giving" to everyone else, when I wasn't getting enough for myself. food couldn't be my only source of nurturing! I might not know what will nurture me yet, but I know it's not going to be food and the first thing I have to do is walk away from the toxic words around me. "See you later. I'll be back later. I'm walking away. Treat me nicely." I have to be the one who demands it. Have I learned this great lesson? Not fully. I think there will always be the child in me looking for my parents' approval, especially now that they live with me. But I sure am trying hard to remember that "I'm OK." I love you all. Ellen

Lori, I just saw your pictures!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You look absolutely AMAZING!!!!! You look so young. You have a great waistline! Wow! Dr. Phil couldn't do it, but you did!!!!! Congratulations! Love, Ellen

Janet, thanks for sharing your story about the muffins. It makes me realize that if someone who's been as successful as you still deals with the issues everyday, then I shouldn't get depressed or feel all is lost when I have to climb my own mountains. Love, Ellen

Hi Everyone! Lori, I've been thinking about you non-stop. I'm still stuck in this naive belief that this "stuff" is not supposed to happen, but it does and it doesn't just happen to someone else! It happens everywhere. OK, I'm showing my age, when I say, "What is this world coming to?" When I grew up in New England, we left the doors unlocked; we played outside; we walked to school; the police didn't give tickets at Christmas time, they wished everyone a happy holiday and gave them a warning; people came to the door with cakes when someone new moved in and carjackings were absolutely unheard of. Hope you and hubby take it easy today and stay close. He was so blessed to come out of this OK. Please concentrate on that blessing today. Lori, I forgot to congratulate you on your weight loss. Congratulations!!!!! Have you posted any new pictures of yourself? :thumbup: My grandson just inserted the smiley face and wants to do another. So here's another from him. :w00t: Have to go now, but will be back soon. Love, Ellen

Dear Lori, Thank God your husband is OK! I don't know what to say, except that I'm planning on saying a lot of prayers of thanks that he made it out of there safely. Thanks for the words of welcome. It's nice to be back and nice to be feeling like my band and I are in control of my life again. Feel better. I'll write again soon. Have to go and put my grandson to bed. Love, Ellen

HI Friends, It's been MONTHS since I've posted and I must admit that I've missed you all. Life got so hectic here that I could hardly breathe. Hubby ill; parents here and ill on and off; still taking care of my grandson. Somewhere in there I got lost. I didn't go for fills; I didn't take care of myself and I didn't check in here where I could have gotten support. Well, I don't know what happened this week, but there was a turnaround. I bottomed out emotionally and just couldn't take being everything to everyone anymore. I made an appointment for a fill, told my parents we needed more help in the house and told hubby that I needed more TLC. (Brave of me, indeed.) I went for the fill and told the doctor that he REALLY needed to listen to me. I have NO restriction and haven't had any since my band surgery. I could eat two bagels, if I chose, and not have the least little problem!!!!! He finally heard me and I now have 7 cc's in my Realize band. I've lost 5 pounds in two days, which I know is mostly Water weight, but it sure feels good. It's like I'm starting all over again, but that's fine. I must admit the band must have done something, because through my whole ordeal I only put on 4 pounds. Good, but I finally want more for myself. Well, I have to run. Not everything has changed. (LOL) Later I'm going back to read all the posts I missed in these last few months. I'm just going to leave my computer on at this web site and keep coming in here whenever I can. Talk to you soon. Love, Ellen P.S. First lesson learned: If I don't take care of myself, I can't take care of anyone else!

Dear Friends, Thanks for the kind words. Things are still a bit rough around here. We're waiting to hear whether hubby will have to have heart surgery; I'm still running from doctor to doctor with my parents and attending to all their needs, taking care of my grandson and feeling the horrific impact of what's happened to the economy, - all at the same time. I never thought I'd be in a place like this, never thought growing older would be so tough. My weight is fair; had the second fill, which did NOT work at all. In fact I felt like I had less restriction than before. I e-mailed the doctor and BEGGED him for help. I think he heard the desparation in my voice and he took me in 8 days later for my 3rd filll. I'm still not restricted enough, haven't hit that "sweet spot" yet, but it's better. Thank you all for being so supportive. I love you all. Ellen

Joann and Teach, Congratulations on your surgeries! Hope your recoveries go easily and that you enjoy this start of your new life. Love, Ellen

Dear Janet, Thank you so much for your beautiful message. You are exactly what I needed. Love, Ellen

Happy Thanksgiving, my friends! I want to be thankful right now, but I'm not in a very thankful mood. I am just scared to death and I've been eating like crazy, even though I had my second fill last week. I am afraid that it didn't take at all. The economy's so bad and we don't know if my husband's company will even be in business by the end of the year. On top of that I just found out tonight that he may need heart surgery. My hands are shaking so hard, I can hardly type. Thank you all for being here. I don't know what I'd do without you. My best friend of 33 years died this summer and she was the one I could always go to. So I guess I do have something to be grateful for; I have all of you. Love, A very scared, a very tired, Ellen

Hi Lori! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!! I have those same pants in my closet too!!! LOL!!! Have a great holiday. Your wishes reflect my feelings too. Thanks for saying it so well. Love, Ellen

Hi Erica, I don't know what your financial situation is, so it is not for me to say how much you should spend, but I can say that you have to be absolutely sure that your surgeon is the right one for you. Don't have any doubts, otherwise please go elsewhere! He is going to be one of your partners on this new journey of yours and he is the first one, at that. I did find out more about Dr. Billy. As I said, yesterday I met a fellow lapbander who just happens to live less than 5 minutes away from me. (That in itself was absolutely great!!!) But getting back to Dr. Billy: She loved him!!!!!!!! His office was friendly. He has ongoing programs and newsletters to help his patients. He answers phone calls and is always available to his patients. He is proficient in this surgery and he is a good doctor to boot. (The good doctor part comes from my daughter, who happens to be a doctor, too.) There are many people on this board who have doctors like this. That's what we all want. I went to Dr. Cunneen at Cedars. Great doctor! Grrrrrreat! A little hard to get through to, but I wouldn't hesitate to recommend him. My son-in-law had his surgery done in Burbank by Dr. Quilici. Good doctor, terrible office, 3 hour waits, but my son-in-law was verrry happy with his surgery. I've heard mixed reviews about Dr. Paya in West Hills. I wanted to go to him, since I live in Woodland Hills, right nearby. Another lapbander on the board is very upset with some "after" charges that are now coming through. My insurance wouldn't cover him, because he wasn't part of their circle of "excellence." My own doctor said he was fine, but recommended Cedars. A nurse in my daughter's office had hers done at Los Robles. All these sound like they would be in your area, if you are looking at Dr. Billy. Hope this helps a little. Good luck and keep your chin up. It's going to happen. Love, Ellen

Hi, I'm even older, 62! And yes, I am seeing more wrinkles, mostly in my neck. I haven't begun to think about it yet, because I don't know where I am going to end up. I was told not to think about plastic surgery until 1 year after I hit goal. I think that's because people don't usually end up staying at their lowest and we have to have our bodies "level out." I do know that I will do "something" about my hanging stomach, if only to take care of nasty yeast infections and overall discomfort, so a tummy tuck is in the works - someday. As for facial plastic surgery. I see a lot of turtlenecks in my future for the winter, which is funny, since winter is no where to be seen in southern california. As for the rest, it's a wait and see issue. Right now I figure I'll just enjoy good health and being able to do more. Good luck. Ellen

53 pounds as of this morning!!!!! I know I haven't really posted here, but I have been lurking and watching everyone's progress. Thank you all for being such an inspiration! For awhile it made me jealous to see what great weight losses everyone was having. I just had my second fill yesterday and feel so much better that I had an epiphany. I may only have lost 27 pounds, since the surgery itself, but I am down 53 pounds in all and I need to give myself credit for that. I was spending so much time feelling bad about staying the same weight for over a month and watching the tickers of those who had lost larger amounts since July that I was really depressed. A new fill; a new attitude and yes, I am one of those who gave up on my food journal. Since I'm on liquids for a couple of days, it's easy to go back to writing everything down. And when I get back to solids I am going to try to keep it up. It does make a difference, at least for me. Now, if anyone could give me enough inspiration to get on the exercise bandwagon?????!!!! Love, Ellen

Thanks for making me feel better, Janet! I'm off to ask about medic alert bracelets. I wish I trusted that someone would look in my wallet to find by lb card, but I don't. When I was in the hospital, there was a big sign over my bed saying something like, "No food or drink." One night when I was in a semi-conscious state, my husband walked in and found a nurse trying to feed me!!! Her comment was that she didn't see the sign!!!!!!!!!!!! Bracelet, here I come. Love, Ellen Time to change my ticker again. Two days in a row. That alone can keep me going.

Becky, CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!:thumbup: Hitting 50 is fantastic! There's something about that number that's so empowering!!! :eek::thumbup::frown: I just had my second fill yesterday and I don't quite know what I feel yet. I'm on liquids again, then soft foods. I think one of the best things is that it gives me a chance to "regroup" and bring this whole journey back to a conscious level. Janet, I'm scared to death now that I read your post about "no NG tube." In 1999, I had an almost deadly bout with ideopathic pancreatitis. They still don't know what caused it. I don't drink. My triglycerides were high, but not high enough to keep me in intensive care for 10 days and the hospital for 6 weeks. The treatment for pancreatitis this severe was intravenous high caloric feeding, high doses of antibiotics and an NG tube. I couldn't have so much as an ice chip by mouth for that whole time. And just as I was finally about to be sent home, I contracted a staph infection and nearly died from that! It was by far one of the most devestating experiences in my life and I still live in fear that it may happen again. When I went to my LB doctor, I told him about my medical history. I make sure to tell everyone, because my pharmacist needs to know, my other doctors, etc. I can't have ANYTHING that will impact my pancreatic functioning. Why didn't anyone tell me that with this surgery, I may not be able to have an NG tube inserted? I pray everyday that whatever caused that initial and only bout will never happen again, but my pancreas has been damaged and we just don't know. I'm going to call my doctor today. Do you know more about the NG tube and LB surgery? Thanks. Love, Ellen P.S. We all need to be on top of our own medical care. When I left the hospital after that 6 weeks, NO ONE told me that with my pancreas having been so impacted, I might be diabetic, pre-diabetic, prone to diabetes, etc. NO ONE told me my beta cells had been damaged and that my blood glucose levels needed to be monitered. It wasn't until this year, when I actually got sick and my blood sugar was sky high, that I learned how that illness had impacted my health. So, I've learned that we have to be pro-active. I'm on my way to make some calls!

Janet, thanks for the good wishes. I would LOVE to be as lucky as you. I would love to do half as well as you or be half as on target as you!!!!! This week I actually feel "into" this journey, though, and I must admit it feels great! Lori, glad to be back. You are doing so amazingly well. CONGRATULATIONS! It sounds like your doctor is really your partner in your weight loss. I need to keep coming here and looking at progress like yours for inspiration when I get "down in the dumps." Good luck with the job. You are really moving forward. Well, I have to run. I'm babysitting for my grandson, but I'll try to get back here soon. Love, Ellen

Hi!!! Just wanted to introduce myself and tell you that I've heard great things about Dr. Billy. In fact, I am meeting a fellow lapbander for coffee on Thursday, who had him do her surgery. She was very happy, both with him and with his office. I'll find out more for you and let you know what else she has to say. Sorry that the surgery you were about to have didn't work out, but I think fate had better things in store for you. How lucky to find out about this doctor BEFORE you went any further. Good luck. Ellen

HI!!! Sorry I haven't been around, but I'm going to go and catch up on all the posts I haven't read. Hope everyone is doing well. I finally hit 52 pounds. I've been the same weight, going up and down 3 pounds, for so long that I had almost given up hope of ever seeing the scale move. Tomorrow I have my second fill. I'm nervous and excited, both. I'll be back soon. Love, Ellen

I know I'm fairly new, but I want to come too!!!! In my case, Vegas would be a bit better than Colorado. (Lots of flights, in case I have to get back, if there's an emergency with my parents) But whatever you decide, I'll try to make it. It would be so great to get to meet you all. (And to see Lori again! Would I even recognize you, Lori?) Love, Ellen

CONGRATULATIONS, LORI!!!!! 80 POUNDS!!!!! Watching how well everyone is doing makes me even more excited about getting my 2nd fill next week. I am so tired of being at the same weight. I guess I shouldn't complain, because in another life, I'd be going up and up and up, so this is one step better. Losing would be best, however. Sorry I haven't been around. Will try to get back again soon. Love, Ellen

Lori, did you ever think that in having this surgery, not only did you find "yourself," but you found your "calling?" WOW!!!! Congratulations. They are so lucky to have you. Love, Ellen